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Yettie One

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  1. Yettie One

    Let Kids be Kids

    By Yettie One,

    Right, I am somewhat in a dizzy miffed off mood today.
    So this one is a bit of a rant.
     
    There is something that I really just do not get! What is it about sex with a child????
     
    Right, sex is about giving pleasure and taking pleasure right? It is about enjoyment and climax and orgasm right?
    It's about love and lust and emotions.
    And you can get ANY of that from a bloody kid???
     
    Ian Watkins today pleaded guilty to a series of depraved child sex offences, including the attempted rape of a baby!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh for heavens sakes man. Come on!
     
    For those who don't have a clue who the hell Ian Watkins is, he is lead singer of the massive Indie Rock band The Lost Prophets.
    They are a South Wales band, and as I used to live down that way, I've seen then perform at several gigs and concerts and really love their music.
    The singer has always furiously denied the allegations which surfaced a few months ago in the wake of the whole Kiddy fiddling scandal that came to light when Jimmy Savile popped his cloggs.
     
    Now ok, the allure of youth I can understand to a degree. A young man in his teens can be remarkably good looking and have curves and shapes that are not worn down by time and over indulgence.
    But I am talking about a young man that's into the latter half of his teens.
    In the UK the age of consent set by those that have wisdom in these things is 16. Now exactly what that is meant to mean, I am not 100% sure.
    I guess, what they are trying to say is that by the age of 16, young people have some sort of understanding of what sex is and the fact that a whole load of emotions and feelings and all that other mumbo jumbo is tied up with it, even if they are not equipped or experienced to deal with it. So if they are going to get sexual, at least they are capable of some reason and sensibility.
     
    Look, kids are going to be kids. They will want to experiment and try it out and get into mischief. Bloody hell, I did it, and I am pretty sure most of you did too.
    We all did right?
    But, for the most part, we did it with someone we chose, most probably with a peer or friend within our own age group, and if it was with an older person, that decision was probably made at a time when we decided we really wanted to find out what all this sex stuff could feel like when done properly, and with someone who had experience.
     
    Am I being sensible when I say that this is normal, natural behaviour for a young person?
     
    To suggest that a child, one that has not even entered into sexual maturity, or let alone puberty is sexually active and desires a relationship with an older person??????????
    Sick.
    How do you get gratification for a kid that cannot even perform yet?
    OMG
    When I see people that I have looked up to and admired as celebrities and heroes abusing their position of trust and access, I feel really mad first and fore most, but completely disillusioned and let down. Why?
     
    Look, this has been going on for ages, I know. It is a very dark and dirty part of our world. It is something we know about, hear about, but never really want to discuss or think about, because let us be frank, it is appalling and sickening to think that young, beautiful children are subjected to this wickedness.
     
    So no one really says much.
     
    But, the worms are crawling out the woodwork here in the UK recently. The police are doing a lot to sort this. About bloody time.
     
    I just really needed to have a rant, and put my thoughts down on paper. I work in music, have always admired some of these people. How many times have I sung that song by Rolf Harris called Two Little Boys. It's even moved me to tears! Now, to find out he another of these men?
    Argh.
    We live in a sad world. I suppose that stuff like this has always been there, but now that it comes out into the public domain so easily! It hurts.
    Tell me, is there a limit to our depravity? Just let a kid be a kid for crying out loud. They have a whole life to grow up and get caught up in the shit that goes with the emotional roller coaster of sex. We all know this right? Our youth is a precious time, let the young enjoy and build treasured memories, ones like you and I have. Not stuff that they should NEVER have to be thinking about.
    Meh, enough said, rant over, but just really needed to get this crap off my chest today. Thanks for listening.
     
    Thought for today - "Virtue is bold and goodness never faithful." - William Shakespeare
  2. Yettie One

    How to Cook a Turkey

    By Yettie One,

    Ok, so its holiday season coming up, and of course for all our American friends, they'll be doing the traditional turkey in a week or so, and for the rest of us, come christmas, we'll be catching up with our own celebration of bird flesh.
     
    So figured I'd share my recipe for a smashing Turkey Roast.

     
    HOW TO COOK A TURKEY.
     
    Step 1. Buy a turkey.
    Step 2. Have a glass of wine.
    Step 3. Stuff turkey.
    Step 4. Have a glass of wine.
    Step 5. Put turkey in the oven.
    Step 6. Relax and have another glass of wine.
    Step 7. Turk the bastey.
    Step 8. Wine of glass another get.
    Step 9. Hunt for meat thermometer.
    Step 10. Glass yourself another pour of wine.
    Step 11. Bake the wine for 4 hours.
    Step 12. Take the oven out of the turkey.
    Step 13. Tet the sable
    Step 14. Brab another wottle of bine.
    Step 15. Turk the carvey!
     

     
    Enjoy!!!

  3. Yettie One

    Touched

    By Yettie One,

    Ever stopped to wonder why some people leave an indelible mark on our lives?
     
    It is something that I ponder often.
     
    Take for example JFK. 50 years ago this week, a president that has in so many ways touched all of our lives, be us from a generation that were there at the time, or children of today's generation, he is a man that stood out in our world as a special man.
     
    Was he perfect?
    Far from it. In fact, if you listen to the in depth analysis of his life as a man, he was pretty much a bit of a bastard really, but he loved his country and wanted the best for people. For that I think he won all of our respect.
     
    That is not something that can be said for many men that serve in the highest office of their nation. It is easy for me to sit here and type, casting stones at people whom I despise, rulers that I take issue with, and politicians that I think have fallen way short of the mark, but then does that make them any better or worse than JFK?
     
    So why did he leave such a mark on us? Was it that he was snatched from us in such a cruel and unexpected way?
     
    Possibly!
     
    I mean, take for example one of the people from GA that to this day still permeates my thoughts and feelings daily.
     
    Karl or Roan to many of us, was one young man from GA that made a remarkable impact on me in the very few weeks that I came to know him. I miss him terribly, even now, but why? I mean I never met the boy, nor was more than someone whom talked to him on skype every now and then.
     
    Was it that nature stole Karl from this world prematurely, before I had a chance to say many of the things I thought or felt to him? Probably, yes. But I also think it is so much more than that.
     
    So if tragedy plays a part in it, how is it then that some will effect our lives from right next to us, in situations where tragedy is never part or parcel of our passing in time?
     
    Take for example a boy whom I learnt to love from the shadows. We were at school together, in a time where I was far too naive to dream of admitting my crush, and far to afraid to ever try do anything to test the waters.
     
    I still see his beauty in my dreams, here his voice in wide open spaces when I am alone, and can daydream about him for hours still. Yet the truth be told, I have not see or even heard of him for well over 20 years. He was someone I saw more than knew, yet he impacted my life far beyond the time and place where seeing him every day was the norm.
     
    Personally I think it has to do with so much more than circumstances of how we meet or do not meet. I think it is more than how they touch our lives or come or go. I even feel it is more even than the things they teach us or awaken in us.
     
    No, for me I feel it is about the way a person resonates with our inner soul for lack of a better word to use.
     
    I truly believe that each of us has a part of our character, the person that we are, that clicks with some. They just fill the gaps in our lives, like a jigsaw in a way, filling out the big picture, each piece an important part with a life all of its own. Without it, we are not whole, and with it, even if it was there for but a moment, we have filled that part of the puzzle and can go on. As a hand is made for a glove, people who are there for a reason in our lives, be it brief or be it for an extended period, they are the people that make us who we are.
     
    So despite that I will never get to meet someone like JFK, or speak again with our precious colt, or ever know what happened to Michael from school, my life is richer for having known of them, and been inspired by things they said, stuff the did, and ways in which the touched my life. It is good to remember them, honour them, and cherish their place in our lives.
     
    In as much as we say every year that we will never forget those who died in our stead in war, I can honestly say, there are those too that I will never forget who have meant something to me in my life.
     
    Thought for today - "A test of a people is how it behaves towards the old. It is easy to love children. Even tyrants and dictators make a point of being fond of children. But the affection and care for the old, the incurable, the helpless are the true gold mines of a culture." - Abraham Joshua Herschel
     
    Song for today - Everybody's Changing
  4. Yettie One

    Hibernation can suck

    By Yettie One,

    Whoa.
    How long has it been since I have sat down to tap on the keyboard to write a blog???
     
    Too damn long if I am honest.
    So, yeah, I kind of fell off the face of the planet for a while.
    Actually still not totally in control of things for that matter, but as they go, there is not an awful lot of difference I can make to anything, other than keep the old chin (actually all three of them haha) up and plod on.
     
    Medically I was dealt a blow a number of months back.
    Never a good thing to hear that you are mortal, after all, us hairy Yettie's assume that life is forever, and don't consider that there is a finite limit to our time here.
    So yeah, it totally blew me for a six to be told that I was going to be dealing with some stuff that I'd hoped I'd never actually have to face. Stupidity really, we all face something along the way right?
     
    So that was the first issue that kind of initially took me off the radar. I needed some time and space to process what was happening to me, and learn to deal with it.
     
    In the midst of that, I got news that I'd won a grant that I'd applied for to get a part of my tiny little business off the ground a bit more.
    OMG. That was a shock as well, more so because I'd planned everything out when I had loads of time on my hands, and no treatment regime to deal with.
    Thing is, to say no now, would have seriously impacted on my ability as a business, and my reputation with the Arts Council who awarded the grant.
    So to hell with it right. Dive in the deepend and learn to swim.
    I am not quite sure I've learnt to swim yet, more of an ugly doggy paddle, but for what it is worth, I am glad I did it, as I've suddenly gone from being a tiny little no one in the industry to a recognised name in my area now. Three employee's on board and growing, and some really interesting ups and downs with artists, pre Madonna's and diva's galore. So much had to be learnt, and I found myself with my nose in books about the music industry, talking about stuff I'd never considered possible.
    Quite a bit different to reading on GA.
     
    God, anyone ever said they miss this place?
    Ya know, not sure that it is the stories that I missed. I haven't really had time to think about them too much, but there are people from GA that I feel really lonely without!
    The motherly warmth of those that brood over us and see that we are ok and doing what we should. The banter from the cheeky sods that love to tease and chortle. The serious conversations with dedicated writers about plots and characters and all that.
    Argh.
    Yeah, truth be told, I wish I had 48 hours in every day so I could spend 24 doing what I have to do, 12 doing GA stuff, and maybe 12 sleeping.
    That would be a good deal. Anyone know God's number so I can call him and lobby for a change in the length of a day???
     
    Thankfully, I have kept in touch via facebook with a few of you. I'm greatful for that contact and friendship. There are a few I also get to chat to on Skype that is always good for a laugh, but I don't get to go on skype all that much anymore!
     
    On other fronts, mom is ok. Although the Alzheimer's has progressed along, and there are days I have to deal with being just about anyone, generally she is in good spirits. She gets very confused about what I do for work. The idea that I can manage someone that creates music is just a step to far for her to comprehend. Conversations can be a challenge, as she struggles to get words out and memory is obviously a problem. I have found she has become very quite of late, and think that is more out of pure frustration she feels at not being able to communicate as she'd like.
     
    Winter is upon us in the UK. They say we are due for snow soon. Not sure I like the sound of that! Argh.
    Gunna be a bad winter the forecasters say.
    Although having said that, a few weeks ago we were supposed to get the storm of the year, and not a bloody thing happened.

    Not sure how you get it that wrong!
     
    I discovered spiced apple sausages in the butchers down the road today. OMG, we had them for dinner and damn they are good.
    I can strongly recommend them if you can get your hands on them. Oooooooft.
     
    So, yeah. Bit of an update. Probably not all the info that's happened since I was last on, but still, hope it gives you some light on what I've been up to. Be nice to hear from those of you that can spare a mo or two.
    Hugs to everyone that wants a hug.
    And for those that don't I can offer a handshake.
     
    Take care and talk soon I hope.
    Yettie
     
    Saying for today - "Absense blots people out. We really have no absent friends!" - Ambrose Bierce
     
    Song for today - https://soundcloud.com/ryanjyoung/tramlines
     
    Enjoy.
  5. Yettie One
    People's perceptions within society has always been something that's interested me.
     
    It is quite funny actually, without even meaning too, we develop these pre conceived ideas about how life and our place in society should look. We get this from our parents, social norms within our culture, social trends within the world around us, our peers, the media and the way in which this vast array of information that hits us as we grow up is interpreted and received by those that have the biggest influence over us.
     
    One of these pre conceptions that has always fascinated me is how men and women perceive themselves and their place in the world in regards to women in a straight setting, or in regards to their partners within a gay/lesbian environment.
     
    Men feel the need to appear macho, tough, deemed to be strong and capable of protecting themselves and their kin. At least this is the impression you get when you look at the traditional view of what a man should be like.
     
    Now we like to think of ourselves as modern, and adaptable, and the image of a man certainly has changed in some ways. I mean, men's grooming products is an industry rapidly catching up with the female make up business in its range of products, and procedures available to help a man look his best for as long as possible.
     
    In terms of fashion trends, it is acceptable for men to be viewed as pretty for the first time in our existence. The whole idea of a man being soft or effeminate was something that for the large part has been something that men have shied away from for fear of being branded as 'queer' or 'soft' or 'bent'.
    Men enjoyed this dominance within society that has meant that they have endured this perception of status that I am not certain that man deserves.
     
    I mean, let me try be honest for a moment.
     
    Since a young age, I've always been a boy's boy! To explain that, I've always been one of those guys that really didn't want to be viewed by friends, family or the public at large as a soft touch. Yet the truth is, I am really quite a sensitive guy. I mean hell, simply poke me in the ribs, and I'll jump the Brooklin Bridge, and make it look like child's play doing it. Now there, I've just admitted one of my biggest weak spots. I literally HATE being tickled. It stems from two older brothers who always thought it was highly amusing pinning me down and tickling me till I couldn't breathe. However they took it too far one day, and it ended up with the most embarrassing accidental discharge in the nether regions that left me very wet and red faced, my brothers "ewwing" and performing like a choice pair of school girls, and my mom mad as hell.
     
    Now there is something that a "Man" would never admit to have had an accident doing.
     
    But, that is just ridiculous, as it is a funny story, and one that really I shouldn't have to be embarrassed sharing with people. It is part of growing up, and the reason that I am really rather impartial to a jab in the ribs, or tickling of any sort. But, the idea to some men, that they should be able to admit to a moment of weakness is tantamount to treason. It is just something "Men" do not do.
     
    The Yettie is also a big softy when it comes to snakes. Put one of those creepy things in front of me and I am likely to pass out in very rapid style. In fact it is something that I have done on two occasions, and I've even taken to running out of a reptile house in a mad panic as a young boy holding a snake for the first time panicked as it began to move over his shoulders, and began running in my direction with the damn thing! Needless to say, the whole group we'd gone on tour with knew that the Yettie had a "thing" about snakes!
     
    Do these fears make me any less of a man? Um, no I don't think so. I think fear is a part of life. It is something that we all deal with for one reason or another. To show it, to admit it, or to accept that it is something you live with does not make you any less of a person. Plus, let me be frank, I have far greater fears if I am completely honest. A fear of a long, scaly creature that could possibly bite me with painful consequences is hardly life changing.
     
    Fears like a fear of rejection are far more damaging to us as individuals than fears of physical harm. Psychological fears that damage and affect our self esteem and our value process are things to worry or be cautious of far more than appearing to not be a strong and macho man able to be the ever dominant protector of our domain. It is these internal fears that are more important to learn to control and overcome.
     
    We are so concious of how people regard us. It is such a big thing to be rejected and to be honest when it happens a few times, especially in situations where we have allowed some kind of feelings take root within our imagination, a hope that maybe this person or that person might feel the same way, and see in us all that we see in them. Building up our hopes to have them crushed when we are turned down is a bitter pill to swallow, and if it happens often enough the dent it has on our self esteem can be long lasting and hugely detrimental.
     
    These are the fears we should be able to talk about, be honest about, and accept as a part of our characteristics as people. We are all flawed in some way. We all have stupid things to deal with, things we hate about ourselves. Hell we are our own worst enemy when it comes to finding fault. Sometimes we really need to be able to talk about these things to be given any kind of a chance of overcoming them. So next time you wonder to yourself what it is that you fear, find it, accept it, and try if you can not to bury it. You are human, and if you can be strong enough to be able to admit and be open about your weaknesses, maybe, just maybe it is a way of taking some step towards overcoming that fear.
     
    We are not inadequate We are valuable, precious individuals. It may work out that the people we hope will see this truth, are not the ones that realise it, but life has a really strange way of knowing who is right and who is wrong for us, and we should learn to trust that a little more. If is not meant to be, casting yourself into a darkness, a depression, a rut is not going to change it. If anything, it is only going to make it harder to over come the next thing that knocks us.
     
    Learning to accept that we are not going to be important to every person we meet, will help us understand that our time and energy is precious, and if someone is not interested in it, move on and make friends with someone new. Guard your precious assets, the fire inside your soul, the smile on your face, the friendly, cheerful nature of your character. These are things that will carry you much further than riches and popularity and fame. It is ok to be human, it is good to be scared, and it is great to be able to learn from the things we face in life. Learn to grow, learn to be better, learn to be humble and good. These are the important things in life.
     
    Thought for today - "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." - Thomas A Edison.
  6. Yettie One
    Give anyone a chance, and you'd be amazed at how many of them will completely surprise you.
     
    As hard as it is to not judge a book by its cover, to not form some kind of preconceived perception of someone when we first meet or speak, I frequently am guilty of doing this. In many ways it irritates me, as it is something that I have worked really hard to try not to do, yet constantly, I find myself jumping to conclusions and guessing.
     
    Thing is, more often than not I am so bloody far off the mark in my assumption, it is bloody appalling. At times, some sense of caution or a feeling of something being off, has been justified in the long term, as time allows me to prove that my inkling was well placed. But more often than not, I have found that the person, given the time, proves to be interesting, loyal, endearing and a good friend.
     
    I have always been thrilled by intelligence. A smart person, who has something interesting to say has always been able to captivate my attention, and easily becomes someone I both admire and enjoy spending time talking too. I guess it is one of the characteristics of a person that I am attracted too. Yet, in as much as everyone is interesting on some level, it is something that only becomes apparent when we allow it to show, and this is I guess where the point I am trying to make lies.
     
    You see, as much as I am guilty of jumping to conclusions, or forming a perception of someone based on look, dress sense, accent, demeanour, or any one of a huge array of factors, you are doing exactly the same thing. Whether you want to admit it or not, it is something we are all doing.
     
    It is for this reason that we get along with some people more than we do with others. For as much as I may want to take the time to get to know you, your preconceptions might have already concluded in your mind that I am not someone that you wish to spend any time with.
     
    Ask yourself this. How many times in life have you had some from of prejudice against someone. For whatever petty reason it is, you have chosen NOT to befriend said individual. Yet at some point down the line, for some bizarre reason, you have had a chance to actually get to know said individual, and discovered that, hey, they really are not that bad. In actual fact, given a chance, they have proved to be really quite entertaining, and yes, guilty as charged, we blacklisted a perfectly good candidate for friendship based on our own flawed perception.
     
    Perish the thought that we could be so callous, or judgemental! Yet, daily we are guilty of doing this. How many times has someone said something to you right here on GA, and you've judged them based on a pre conception?
     
    I guess as I've gotten older, I have learned that everyone deserves a chance. There are some amazingly interesting people out there. Some will affect or impact on your life for the briefest moment, a ship passing in the night, yet they will most certainly have something to contribute if you allow it.
     
    Others, may become treasured friends. People you would never have given the time of day to under normal circumstances. Strange as it is, when you actually choose to overlook your prejudices, you find that there are hidden gems around every corner. And while we may not all live in one another's pocket, and our friendship have different dynamics and serve different purposes, give someone the chance to be a friend, and you might just find that hey, they really are worth the time and effort.
     
    I am writing this as much for myself as anyone who may read it. Some might think I am full of hot air, and that is fine. I do not expect everyone to see the same things I see, but I would challenge you to at some point in the future, put yourself on the spot, and try it out for yourself. Allow someone that you might not ordinarily get close to, become a confidant, and see how amazing it can be to meet some of the most fascinating and interesting people on the planet.
     
    Thought for today - "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." - Thomas Merton
  7. Yettie One
    Stephen Spielberg stand aside. Peter Jackson can come see me for lessons! Had George Lucas on the phone all morning, and Andy Wachowski is going all "Desperately Seeking Susan" on me!!!
     
    And why is all this happening?
     
    Well, it is simple really! If you'd been in my dream last night, you'd have had no doubt it was a masterpiece of visual fiction.
     
    Oh man there was edge of your seat action. In fact, forget edge of the seat, the whole gallery would have been on its feet cheering. There was suspense and tension unlike anything you could ever imagine. I was hanging on every word in the dream I assure you. As for the visuals and on location scenery, even New Zealand's lush settings depicted in Lord of the Rings didn't come close.
     
    There was everything from a ridiculously risky chase, to mind blowing special effects, and hell, whoever did the casting for my dream did one HELL of a job. I've never seen such beautiful people other than in my dreams. The lead actor was erm........ Heaven. Stunning is not close enough to the word needed to aptly describe the effect he had on me.
     
    I'm telling you, if I could produce this dream on the big screen, it'd clean up at every awards ceremony you could imagine. Cain's film festival would never be the same after screening such a magnificent feature film, and be if the Bafta's, the Golden Globes, the Emmy's or the MTV movie awards, they'd all be coming home with me.
     
    So..........
     
    What is the marvellously wonderful movie all about you ask?
     
    Erm........
    Here in lies the problem. I can't remember!
     
    All I know is that when I woke up this morning, I knew I'd been a part of a truly sublime, breathtakingly spectacular experience while lost in slumber land. I have spent huge tracts of time today desperately trying to recall what it was that had such an effect on me, and took me to such amazing highs and such visceral lows while I slept.
     
    Why the hell do dreams fade so quickly?
     
    I am sure if I could remember, I'd have pure gold on my hands. Jeeeesh, making a movie of that magnitude would be a licence to print money.... I am convinced.
     
    The human imagination is really remarkable, and the fact that in my sleep it can generate something so powerful and mind blowing is beyond me. How it was able to take little bits of everything I've ever seen and put it all together into a flowing, detailed narrative that had me spellbound despite being completely unaware of anything going on around me is quite fantastical. Oh the power of the mind. If only we could tap into it a little more, just a smidgen more than we do.
     
    We'd be a very intelligent lot indeed. Instead I spent the day feeling like an idiot, day dreaming about a dream I know was sensational, yet know nothing about. How ironic is that!
     
    Oh I am a strange Yettie at times, but I tell you what. If I can continue dreaming on that scale, I am going to cancel my Netflix subscription, and rely on slumber for my visual fiction fix.
     
    It's a bank holiday weekend here in the UK, and got gigs going on for three of my artists this weekend, so it is a real busy one for me. Here's hoping that you have a really good time what ever you have planned. If you are in the UK and get to enjoy the holiday, stay safe and be good. And if you can't be good, then just be bloody good at it.
     
    To those of you that have to work on Monday. Hmmmmmmm, I will be thinking of you as I have a nice lazy lie in! hehe.
     
    Hugs to ya all.
    Lemme know what you been up to.
     
    Thought for today - "Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move onto something that is more productive." Donald Trump
  8. Yettie One

    Fragile Breath

    By Yettie One,

    It is a murmur
    A quite touch, a gasp, a quiver;
    A simple sign
    A rise and fall, an in and out.
     
    It is so fragile
    So precious, glorious, special;
    A delicate marvel
    That points to all we hold dear.
     
    Yet, but a moment
    Is all time needs to snuff it out;
    A simple second
    To tear, and rip, and take.
     
    Gone
    In a fleeting instant, escaped;
    To grace another's lips
    To dwell in another place.
     
    Please treasure this gift
    Revel in its particular joys;
    Love, smile, laugh
    Take time to enjoy every Fragile Breath.
     
    I'm feeling a little raw and on edge today. One of the artists I manage has recently had his family over to help celebrate the start of a great year, the times apart, which have brought such big things Rob's way. His dream brought him to the UK, and I have had the pleasure of working with him, developing and growing and molding his music career. To see them all together, so happy, so proud, so much a loving and special family unit, was heart warming, comforting, a special moment.
     
    But life, in its wonderful way, has its own plan. And while today I really don't understand its method, or its madness, I must try to accept that in everything that happens, there is some reason that simple me cannot see or comprehend.
     
    You see, one of the challenges of living in Africa is an illness known as Malaria. Treatable, there is medication that when you live in Africa, you pretty much take all the time if you live in an area of potential hazard. In this instance, Rob's mom ran out of her tablets while over here. She chose to remain quite, and risk the time they had together, till she could get home and get more tablets. The problem being, that here in the UK, we don't readily have available the powerful drugs used in Africa to control the illness. Why would we? As long as you follow the instruction of your GP and take the medication prescribed, as directed, when you make plans to visit Africa, you will invariably remain fine.
     
    Not so if you should stop taking the medication, for but an instant, while the infection may be in your blood stream, and this was the case in this instance. In a matter of days, a strong, proud, smiling, wonderful woman was stolen, snatched from her family. So quickly no one had a chance to realise the danger. So decisively there was little anyone could have done. Gone. In an instant.
     
    And now we deal with the aftermath. The effects of such a sudden and dramatic loss. Guilt. Blame. Shame. It is all there. Written in the eyes of people I respect and admire. I cannot touch them, fix it, change anything. I am helpless to do anything, and hell it hurts. It hurts as I know that a time similar to this, under different circumstances maybe, but just as final, tragic and gut wrenching waits just around the corner somewhere in my own life, and I feel vulnerable. Exposed, and weak.
     
    I watch from a distance. There to lend a hand if needed, yet accepting that I am nothing at this time, unable to alter the course of life in anyway, might I so wish I could. Life is complex. It is woven with good times, interlaced with heartbreak and sadness. Finding the balance is the art we strive to discover as we play out our lives. I don't think we will ever fully understand why this roller coaster ride we are on exists, or why it can be so wildly changing, emotionally charged, or final. When it is good, it is dam good, but hell when it is bad, it is horrible.
     
    Life is special, and it reminds me every day that it is finite, fragile and precious. Treasure what moments it gives you, and try if you can to spend as many moments happy. There is nothing to be gained in sadness, loneliness or despair. Die having done all you could do on that list of things you've always wanted to do. Live every day as if tomorrow is a word we've never heard, and this breath you've taken, is the the most special you have ever breathed.
    Sound strange and unreal?
    Yup, it does even to me. But somehow, in all the chaos and sadness I feel right now, I am desperately seeking a silver lining? Is that wrong? Hell, there has got to be hope, because without it, things suck.
     
    A hug would be really good about now. I am going to close this down now while I can still see the screen and go get some comfort from an embrace with my mom.
     
    Love to you all, and I really hope your week, day, month is shaping up to be a good one.

     
    Ps. I can't be arsed to think about a quote for today's blog. Forgive me, I'll choose something extra special for the next one.
  9. Yettie One
    So I got a message out the blue today from a reader of a story I have been posting here at GA.
     
    It was actually really nice to hear from a reader, and get someone following up on a story that has kind of been standing stagnant for far too long. Thing is, I have kind of written myself into a bit of a corner on this one.
     
    The story takes place at the turn of the century a time when being gay was not openly done, and so we have two youngsters that are attracted to one another, and realising that they have feelings for each other, but I am at a complete loss as to how to write this and develop it into something physical in an authentic way.
     
    It is important to me that I maintain the feel of the story, in that I really don't want the love these boys share to feel typical or like anything we would regard as normal. The feelings and social ers that they would face are something far beyond what we might face today, and I really want to get that part of the story right.
     
    So. Of all of you kind people out there, is there anyone out there with any ideas? Anyone able or willing to help me develop and channel this part of my story?
  10. Yettie One
    Well, hell, it has been a good many moon's since I've sat and had a plonk away at the keyboard to fill out some space on my blog.
     
    Where the hell have I been you ask?
     
    Good question really. Things in my personal life have kept me really busy of late. Some really weird shit, some pretty exciting stuff, and of course, there is the stuff we get up to here at GA that keeps us out of mischief too.
     
    Haha. Ok to explain that a bit more....
     
    Well not so long back, my mom had a TIA or Mini Stroke to some, and it made things at home very very interesting. Right now, mom doesn't fully recognise me as her son. I am the man that looks after her most days, once in a while her dad, and sometimes her lover.
     
    Sound weird?
    Yeah, heck it is pretty strange to deal with. The day it happened was pretty damn earth shattering. I had to turn around and walk away, as it was surreal standing talking to my mother and she had no clue I was her son.
    You hear stories of this all the time in the world of Dementia and Alzheimer's, but nothing prepares you for it when it happens, and there is an awful lot of adjusting to be made to allow for the unfamiliarity you now share with your loved one. I've done a lot of tongue biting, and shed silent tears behind closed doors of late, but in the burden of despair I've found a new inner strength, and managed to find a way to create a new friendship out of the darkness and gloom that came out of the strangeness.
     
    There is an ability to cope within us on every level. Somehow, when we need it the most, we find a way through. Adaptability is one of our strengths as humans, and I guess one of the prime reasons we are so damn successful as a species.
     
    So yeah, despite the fact that at times I want to scream, and get frustrated at trying to have even a simple conversation at times, I am humbled daily by the strength I see in my mom, and her tenacity and will to fight on and enjoy what she can of her life.
     
    Then there is my ikle business. I set it up as I saw an opportunity through being involved with a community program I work with in the broadcasting world. Not so long back I ventured out into the world of Music Management, and have met with some degree of success on the adventure thus far. Four artists in, two singles, one making it to no 14 on the electro charts, and a music video and promotional tour under my belt, and it's been a roller coaster of fun, energy and things I never imagined when I set out on this new path.
     
    I've not discovered the next Rhianna or found a new Madonna or anything quite that spectacular, but I am thoroughly enjoying working with some amazingly talented people, discovering so much about the music industry every day, and getting to meet and listen to some amazing musicians along the way. Now who wouldn't enjoy that?
     
    And then of course there is GA. So as a part of the WST, I now get to do even more reading than I'd ever thought possible, and Cia challenges us all the time to find little gems of treasure, that when combined will make a treasure junkie green with envy. Yeah, it is really exciting to be involved with some of the stuff that GA is doing to make the site an even better place we can come and share, read and enjoy.
     
    But even more important than that is the time I get to share with some fantastically amazing writers. Every time they send me something to look over, I am blown away by the talent that GA brings together. These are men and women that create worlds inside of their minds, build stunning plot lines, develop characters we fall in love with, identify with and cherish. I have nothing but respect for our writers. One and all, they bring something to the table. It may not be as perfect or as refined as each others stuff, it may be something creative, something historical or simply poetic, yet whatever it is, it enriches our lives, puts a smile on our faces at times, makes the tears run freely at other times.
     
    These writers give so much of themselves. They share with us every time their pen touches the paper, and yeah, maybe we type and use computers these days, but it is still their blood, sweat and tears we get to enjoy. I love the way they are themselves in their work. They get to express things in their way, not my way, they go off on tangents I'd never have seen, and woo me with language I'd never have used.
     
    It only stands to reason that the next time you spend a little time reading, it is only fair to take a little of your own time and make an effort to be yourself in a few words of thanks, feedback, criticism if you dare, or just a simple shout out about a wonderful story you've read. Make an author feel good about themselves next time you enjoy a story. It ain't hard.

     
    Hugs and snuggles to you all. Yettie stylee and all that stuff.
     
    Thought for today - "Look back and smile on perils past." - Walter Scott
  11. Yettie One
    So spring officially starts on the 1st March ey?
     
    Someone needs to tell the weather gods this me finks! I had an early morning trip to make today, and woke up to a proper blanket of snow on the ground. Ok only half an inch thick, but thing is, that is enough in this country these days to make life really interesting.
     
    So we hope in the car and make our way down to the Mental Health Facility where mom's specialist is. It's her check up today. Rush hour traffic at 9 am in the morning.
    It is a trip that normally takes about 10-15 min. 45 min today, and we watched a Fire Engine go sideways around a round about. I did giggle at the expression on the passengers face as they slid past us.
    In that single 45 min trip I think I've seen every kind of season that mother nature can throw at us. Howling winds, snow flurries so thick you can't see very far ahead of you, brilliant sunshine, and pouring rain? Hello? What the hell is going on?
    It really does not take too much for there to be chaos on British roads, but I think today it was more that drivers were more bemused by the uncertain mix of weather, and sat in their warm cocoon's wondering what we were going to see next.
     
    These check ups that they carry out are not designed to be easy. Right, it is bad enough knowing that mom's got a serious mental issue, without having to go into a medical check up sat next to her, and have to contradict what she tells the specialist in her presence.
    It's pretty damn lousy as an experience.
    I mean the doc asks her if she's lost weight (incidentally she has, a lot) expecting her to answer to the affirmative. However an elderly person does really NOT want to admit that life and time are not on their side, so naturally she says no.
    Prompt the carer to answer that actually indeed she has lost weight since before Christmas, and explain the circumstances.
    All very well if the carer is a medical person or at least someone that's undergone some level of training. However in the UK they encourage family to take on this role, and therefore its you sitting there trying to explain.
    Question, "So how is your memory?"
    Well do you honestly expect mother to reply that she's seen a decline in her mental processing power since she last saw him.
    Hell she didn't even know where we were when we pulled up at the door you clown.
    "I'm fine thank you, no problems at all."
    Que the question to the carer, "Have you seen any decline?"
    Of course I bloody have, but this is my mother sat right next to me. I mean please, do I have to discuss her mental issues in front of her like this? She doesn't want to face the facts, and honestly I can't blame her one little bit, as I bloody don't enjoy facing them either.
    But to do it like this?
     
    I had never considered what it must be like to have to face these kind of things. Do we ever? For all they teach us in school, and uni and in life in general, no one has ever sat down and prepared me for any of this stuff!
    I wonder sometimes, if we shouldn't be thinking about equipping the next generation with the mental strength and preparedness to be able to cope with the trauma of coping with these very difficult situations. I mean heck we worry more about the end of the world than we do about the end of our loved one's lives, and we are more certain to loose a mom, dad, sister or brother, than we are to have a nuclear Armageddon reign down on us.
     
    Every day we hear of someone we know having to face the prospect of dealing with a family member coping with some serious illness. We all deal with this stuff differently, but surely there are some basic principals? Mom often asks me if she's a burden or if having to care for her bothers me. The answer is no it does not, but what really does bother me is that I've never had to be responsible for someone's health or life before. It scares the hell out of me when it comes to having to make decisions. What if I get it wrong? What is the right thing to do? This is my mother we are talking about.
     
    Parents have to do this every day of their lives. A friend of mine who is to become a dad for the first time soon recently said to me, you know Rob, having a kid is realising that every day from now on, you will live forever with your heart walking around outside your body, and knowing that you can't protect it from everything.
    How the hell do you do that?
    Respect to every single one of you that bring up a child. I don't think I could do it.
    I have learnt a lot about myself in recent years. I have learnt that as a person you find the strength from somewhere to step up and do the things you have to do. But it is not easy. Nothing we do prepares us for this, yet it is a fact of life we will all have to face at some point in our future.
    It just seems really odd to me that in all this time, it is the one thing that we never prepare for.
    That is how much we fear death.
     
    When I was younger, I used to say that I loved living so much I was a reckless maniac, and doubted I'd make it past 40. Well I am knocking on that door, and while I still am wild at heart, I have slowed down and matured a lot over time. Maybe I will make it beyond 40 after all, but one thing is for sure. I've learnt, seen and done a lot of things I never thought I'd have to do. I just wish I'd taken some time to better prepare and equip myself to deal with some of them.
     
    Thought for today - "Only put off until tomorrow, that which you are willing to die having left undone!" - Pablo Picasso
     
    Song for today - Souls by Taylor Ames
  12. Yettie One

    Happy Mother's Day

    By Yettie One,

    So it is Mother's Day here in the UK today.
     
    Ya know, every year we go through the motions, and say our thanks, but it takes time to understand what someone really is to us, and over time, we learn what it took to bring us up to who we are today.
     
    I am so damn lucky that I was really close to my folks. Not everyone got to enjoy the experience I have had, and that is a sad state of affairs. We are all different and have been through our different circumstances, it are these that make us who we are. I have learnt much in my time speaking and talking to others who had different life experiences.
     
    I am greatful for the family life I had, and right now, still lucky enough to be able to spend cherished time with my mom, so today I get to tell her how very much I love her.
     
    I chose to use words on paper today, and hope it is ok to share this with you.
     
     
    My mom is a special kind of woman.
    She’s very unassuming, humble and meek
    She’s everything you expect in a shining example.
     
    Patient, she’s had all the time I ever needed.
    Diligent, I’ve never had to go without clean clothes
    Dinner on the table, a clean room, a friendly smile.
     
    She’s faithful, always there when the chips are down.
    Loyal, she’d step into the ring for her kids if she had too
    When it came to family my mom knew we were her’s.
     
    Love without conditions, encouragement to be all we could.
    Never left alone, never forgotten to fend for ourselves
    When it came down to it, we knew we could always turn to mom.
     
    She does not understand our appreciation and adoration.
    She sees herself as just a normal woman; simply a mom as required
    Yet as I have grown, I’ve learnt not every mom was so great.
     
    Mom would go without to make sure I had.
    She would walk miles to be there when I performed at school
    To see her look proud of me only made me proud to be her son.
     
    In my selfish moments, she never turned against me.
    When I was wrong and did terrible things, I never feared losing her love
    She forgave seventy times seven, and a lot more beyond that.
     
    Never a birthday forgotten, never a day without a kind word.
    Christmas as a child meant Santa’s gift never failed to appear under the tree
    Yet truth be known, it was her that sort to hear the squeal of an excited child.
     
    Nights when I was ill, sat on my bed with a cloth to mop my brow.
    At my bedside through weeks spent in painful recovery in hospital
    I never knew till now how much she was there for me in every way.
     
    How can I not appreciate, cherish and love her dearly?
    Who would not look at a mother so committed to her children’s joy
    And not see a special woman, a perfect example of what a mom really is?
     
    Words are simply not adequate to say thank you.
    No measure of action I can take could ever truly express my gratitude
    Nothing I say will ever been seen through her eyes, in the way I see it.
     
    So I can only simply say, it is well; your job is done.
    You are my mother, a woman I am so immensely proud to know
    You are the mom I was blessed to be born too, the mom I love.
     
    Always I will know these things, and though you might not understand.
    You should know, your sacrifice, your love, your effort, your hard work
    Will never be forgotten, it will never be lost.
     
    Happy Mothers Day.
     
    To all you special woman out there, mothers that might understand these words I share, a very happy Mother's Day to you today. May you feel loved and very special as you are.
     

  13. Yettie One
    So it is the weekend.
     
    Really? When did this happen?
     
    Well it has been a pretty weird week for me, and as I am determined to get some writing done tonight, I decided to kick it off with some blogging first right. So here's some of the highlights of my week,
     
    Well, when I say it's been weird, it's really been rather strange. I am quite certain someone kidnapped my normal, sane and objective body and replaced with something that was just acting as me for a couple of days.
     
    Week started out learning that kids when they are very young cry lots. Bloomin heck. So boyo and his missus and their little one are staying with us while his dad is in recovery. Love having them here, and have had some really good laughs, some really strange cocktails, and yeah, I have discovered that kids, when they are teething, turn from wonderful little angles, into the loudest fricken alarm clocks I've ever heard.
     
    My determination of having the little one over for a few weeks.....
     
    When it comes to kids, I'll happily smile at them, make weird faces at them and talk like I never learnt English to illicit a smile, but then take them off and return when they are erm......... 12?
     
    I thought babies were meant to love their mommies! No chance in this case. Boyo is never to been seen without his little one clinging to him, either his leg, off his shoulders, giggling wildly while he spins her, or propped on his hip. Even when she is sleeping, she's quite in his arms, and moody anywhere else. It is almost as if she senses that she almost lost him and can't be away from him for a second, just in case.
     
    I kinda know how she feels.
     
    Then came the weird feeling right. Totally weak in the body, and the most irritating quiver down the right arm. It had a complete mind of its own. No shakes anywhere else, just in the right arm.
     
    I put it down to the replacement clone body the aliens used malfunctioning for some reason!
     
    Thursday was a really awesome day. I got to spend most of the day going through a range of new music for March, and one of the tracks from a Scandinavian DJ is called Yetti. Now this impressed me no end, and I've been instructed to share, so not sure if this will work, but I'll try anyway.
     
    https://soundcloud.com/tallboyjohnny/tallboy-johnny-the-yeti
     
    It is an EDM track, before Marky Mark the Mark goes on about my taste in music. I know he's going to berate me about it, so I'm telling it to him here in advance, shut up and just listen to it before I spank ya bum!!!!
     
    I was pleasantly surprised to discover that there are a few members on GA that are also into EDM and we have fun discussing tracks and tuneage and DJ's. Good to know someone appreciates good music **(ducks slap from Mark)**
     
    Today. OMG wtf happened to me today? So I think that the aliens returned me to planet earth today, without telling me I'd been away.
    I started the day early catching up with stuff I needed to get done from being down for a day during the week. Making meetings, doing emails. We did a debut single launch on Monday and since then my inbox has been overloaded with bloomin all sorts of stupid requests and stuff. Wow. Didn't know it would get this mad. But lots of fun....
    Till 11am.
    Bank manager on Phone. - Mr Yettie, you were meant to be here at 10.30 am.
    Me - Mr Bank Manager, don't be daft man, I'll see you tomorrow.
    Bank Manaer! - No, no Mr Yettie, that was today, as in NOW.
    Me - (Literally). BOLLOCKS. It's Thursday man. What you been smoking?
    Bank Manager - *Coughs* I don't smoke Mr Yettie. It is Friday I assure you. Hard night last night?
     
    What the hell is he on? Suggesting I'm a drunk?
    Cheeky sod?
    It was earlier in the week I had a hangover!
    Erm although I think I did see him that day when I was doing some banking.
    **Cringes at the image that must have sent out.**
     
    Haha
    I swear this is not a Yettie's normal lifestyle. I put it down to the aliens! That is my story and I am sticking to it.
     
    On a lighter note, thanks to everyone for the get well messages. You are lovely people.
     
    Got to say, listening to music this week, what a stunningly beautiful voice has Josh Groban got? **Swoons**
     
    Hugs to you all, hope you are ready for a fabulous weekend. Smile lots, your worth it, and hey, if your gunna have fun, have bloody good fun now, alright? Yettie's Orders!
     
    Thought for today - "In the end it is not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away!" - Shing Xiong
     
    Song for today - Brave by Josh Groban
  14. Yettie One
    My sister and I have been sharing videos over the last couple of months since she began her treatment. I guess it was sort of a way to try give her something to smile at each time we exchanged something.
     
    I had a pretty hard day today. A lot on my mind, and at a busy stage with work right now too. This evening when I finally sat down to check my facebook, I had this waiting in my inbox for me.
     
    Remember when you were young, and the world was so wonderful, and exciting, and vibrant? Remember where everything was an adventure, we would do anything to avoid having to work for one hour, let alone every damn day of the week. Friends were wonderful and there was always something interesting to explore, or some mischief to partake in.
     
    Trouble? What trouble? Danger? I laughed in the face of danger? Responsibility? To hell with being responsible! Hell man those were the days. Don't grow up too fast! Enjoy your youth, it is precious.
     
    Anyway, totally but I that is not uncommon for a Yettie blog right?
     
    This video is really damn cute, especially the puppy right at the very end, so bare with it, it is worth it.
     
    Yeah I am a big soppy nutter for a cute baby animal. Aren't we all to some degree?
     

     
    Watch, enjoy and have a GREAT day.
     

  15. Yettie One
    It is at times like this weekend that I am rudely reminded that despite the daily difficulties I face on my own, I am not alone in the world, and while there are times I feel very much alone, and at odds with all that is going on around me, there are others going through difficulties just as vivid and real to them as my own are to me.
     
    Wrapping myself in a cocoon of my own making, getting lost in self pity and getting disillusioned by my circumstances is easy. I've written before about how selfish I feel at times, being wrapped up in the daily issues that demand my concentration and lead me to frustration and bouts of moaning and groaning. I often put it down to the condition I call being human. We don't like being in strife and hardship. I could list a hundred reasons to feel the way I do, and most people would empathise to some degree, or at the very least understand why I feel the way I do.
     
    But it is not my own circumstances that have brought me to my knees this week. Nope, I suddenly feel quite lucky this week, despite the fact we all feel as if we have been to hell and back.
     
    Let me give you a bit of background. When I lived in Wales, I met a family from South Africa with three kids, through my work. Two of the lads are autistic, one severely. The oldest lad at the time we were in contact was going through a hard time, feeling isolated and rebelling against the constant attention the two younger boys needed, and began to delve into drugs and chaotic behaviour. It was when he was arrested in a brawl outside a night club and called me as he was too scared to call his dad, that I decided to get involved. With the help of my mom and dad, I reached out and offered to help out.
     
    For the sake of this blog let's call the teen Boyo. With his parents consent Boyo came and lived with us for a few months, and threw constant attention, love and attention he pulled himself right. I give most of the credit for this to my mom, who when the chips down and the situation needed it, stepped up to the plate and gave of herself, her time and patient dedication to a young family in need. For my part I took on the role of taxi driver! (so that is what being a parent is all about! ) This process drew us all very close together, and the two younger lads became a fond extension to our makeshift family, despite the challenges their of their condition.
     
    The middle brother had a fascination with fishing. I think it was something to do with the calmness and solitude of it. He could sit for hours with steadfast concentration, and dogged determination while the rest of us would curse and cast and while away the hours. He also had a fierce loyalty to Boyo that I don't think I've ever seen between brothers.
     
    While I lived in Wales, it was a regular Sunday afternoon tradition, even in the cold times, for the five of us, both fathers, the two boys and I to head down to Swansea pier and spend the afternoon fishing. In that time it took months before I was even acknowledged by the middle brother, credit to my father here who was treated with the same disdain, but whose experience and patience helped me weather the storm of moodiness, and even when he began to begrudgingly accept our presence, it was with a degree of hostility and suspicion. I guess in his young eyes I'd kidnapped his brother at one point, and he didn't like that fact.
     
    Time moved on, boyo got a young lass pregnant, moved with her to London to be near her mom, and a wonderful young princess was born. She is a cutey to be sure. I moved on up to Yorkshire, and things worked out for the best....
     
    Or so I thought.
     
    So imagine my shock on Sunday to get a call from the middle brother in a mad panic. In the time I have been away from Wales, I have been in contact via Facebook with each of them, as you do, and tried to keep up with happenings, but you lose touch. I got wrapped up in my own affairs.
     
    Turns out in this time that Boyo has been diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic, sectioned, treated and released. In a bout of mania on Saturday night, he was convinced he was being pursued by the CIA, and his fiancée was a sleeper agent trying to kill him. He had held her at knife point for several hours, before running off, and taking every single pill given to him to control his symptoms. Sunday morning he was admitted to A&E in a critical condition where they fought to save his life. During all of this, the family were informed, and on his arrival at the hospital Boyo's father collapsed from a stroke, which they believe was brought on by stress complicated by his high blood pressure. Two in one day. No wonder the middle brother was wild and worried out of his mind when he called.
     
    Mom and I hopped in the car and off we shot. I got a shock when I saw Boyo late in the afternoon. He's a changed young man. It is the first time I've ever walked into a room and seen a television like situation played out in real life. Tubes, drips, beeping machines. It was horrible. I don't ever want to experience something like that again if I can help it.
     
    Sat there watching, I felt completely helpless. I know I've written a lot about telling people how you feel while you have a chance, and you know what, I couldn't help but sit there and look at Boyo and wish I'd listened to my own bloody advice. We spent a couple of days down there, until we had to get in the car and leave behind two fine people, struggling to survive another day, each for a different reason, yet each so clearly linked to each other and to us. It was too soon to say goodbye to either of them, and despite that they are in good hands, stable and doing well, you never totally feel safe for them or the future.
     
    We live busy and hectic lifestyles. We often lose sight of the good in our lives, and fail to take time to appreciate the golden moments. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Learn to treasure them. Real friends are few and far between, and while you may not live in each others pockets, it is important to let each other know that despite the distance, regardless of the silent times, you love each other as much today as you did yesterday, last week, last year.
     
    Sometimes life shakes us to the very core to remind us that no matter how bad we have got it, there are people out there that matter, need us and are important. Take a moment to remember them, they are there for you, you should be there for them. And yes, I'm going to bloody well listen this time round. If I don't I give you permission to spank me!
     
    I hope things are well with you all, and the weeks treating ya well. I hope that in some way, at some time this week, someone reaches out and touches you and reminds you that you're special. Even if you don't think so yourself. Most of all, I hope you don't mind me sharing a thought or two and ranting on at you as usual. Thanks for reading.
     

     
    Yettie out!
     
    Thought for today - "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party!" - Ron White
     
    Song for today - Supremacy by Muse
  16. Yettie One
    I haven't written on my blog for a while. Several reasons for that. I've been working on a piece for my personal blog, one I've been doing for a fair amount of time, and been thinking it through much. Work has been pretty hectic to be fair.
     
    I been able to catch up on some reading this week too. It is some of this which I choose to write about today, and pay tribute to some of the amazing talent that comes freely to us here on GA.
     
    Each of us has something that makes a story, book, narrative or whatever written work it is, something unique, special and memorable. For me there are three things that a story must do to stand out to me as something I will remember fondly into my twilight years.
     
    I will delve into what these things are a little later, but first I must say that as an amateur writer, very young into my experience with writing, I have really come to admire the people who do get it right and make it seem so flawlessly easy. Writers have their own genre of writing, and us readers too have our own favourites when it comes to what we enjoy reading about and what we just don't. It is the ones that can take us into their world and make us get lost in there with them that are the masters of this game.
     
    There is so much information out there detailing what to do and what not to do, it is pretty daunting from an authors point of view. It is naive to think that writing is simply putting an idea onto paper, something I've discovered myself since joining GA. The technical parts of making a work flow, the use of english, the plot and all the other bits and pieces that come together into a well rounded work of fiction have stopped me in my tracks frequently. Yet for some, the words just tumble off their fingers it would seem, and this is a skill I look up to with admiration and a desire to be something even close to that good one day.
     
    I recently read a medical story written by Andy here on GA and it took me to a place I like to be when I finish reading something. I can't say I was happy, the story was moving, sad and emotional, but that is exactly what a story should be. I don't mind if a story does not have a happy ending, as long as it have moved me. This for me is the first thing that I look for in a story that will stand out from the crowd. It must invoke some kind of reaction emotionally within me.
     
    Lilansui wrote of a hairdresser that was not all he seemed, and had a plot that kept me on the edge of my seat. There were moment within the story I was ready to shout at the characters despite them being totally unable to hear me, regardless of the fact they were a work of fiction. I was lost in the moment, and caught up in the excitement. That skill with words is wonderful to experience as a reader.
     
    The next thing that I look for is plausibility. That does not mean that everything has to be completely possible or take anything away from the realm of fantasy. What I mean is, make your characters believable. Ashi recently wrote a brilliant blog entry detailing how we should seriously consider showing our character's flaws, and this so effectively demonstrates what I am trying to say. The best example of this I have come across is a story by Layla. She writes about a family of brothers, who are struggling to survive day by day. Each day is different filled with crazy characters, curve balls, fast balls, arguments, insecurities, family feuds It is complex in its depth in that you are drawn into their world and relate to what is happening within it. You can feel it, smell it, sense it and despite its complexity, it is so simple to read and easy to relate to.
     
    Sean Halford has a story set in Cape Town in South Africa on GA. I first came across it on another site, and he was pointed me here to get the latest chapters. I didn't even realise he was posting on GA, it just shows the wonderful wealth of great writers we have here, so many I've not yet even discovered. The beauty of the story written by Sean that I refer to is the attention to detail that has gone into the work. Cia is another great example of this. Tiny little quirks within a story, a tiny fact that you almost question the reason for its presence while your reading, but extra's that add authenticity to the story. Descriptions that paint the picture with clarity in your minds eye.
     
    I am guessing the trick here is to write about what you know. C James includes such detailed descriptions of sailing in Circumnavigation that someone who's never been near a catamaran like me feels as if they could almost climb aboard one and set sail from the knowledge he imparts to us through his story.
     
    Some of us will choose to write about stuff we don't know all that much about, yet still I would argue, the ones that make this work, are the ones that include a part of themselves within the characters of the story, thus in a way, indirectly investing much of what they know into the people we are reading about. A good example of this is Fleeting Rainbows who writes about a lad coming home from a re-educational facility, something she admits she had to research carefully, yet so much of herself is invested within the characters that despite her careful research she is able to write from within the minds of the people in the story. She does this so convincingly too. It is this that gives that much craved plausibility to a story.
     
    Lastly. Dialogue. This is a tricky one. The minefield of grammar with dialogue is enough to put most people off, yet it is an integral part of a story. It is what brings humour to a character, fun to a situation, excitement to an adventure. Dialogue is a tool, that if used correctly is pure joy to read. It will give flavour to the personality and bring a paragraph of text alive to a reader.
     
    Cassie and KC Grim are both masters at the use of dialogue. I love reading their work for this reason alone. That is not to say that there are not others who use dialogue well, Nephy is another great example of what a well written conversation can look like when you read discussions between the central characters of her story about memory loss.
     
    Another way to grab attention within your story is to be quirky. Try things that are not common. A risky strategy but a good example of what I mean is the style used by Michael in his story about a teenage boy who feels isolated and ignored by his family. Not an uncommon theme, but made so enjoyable by the quirky style with which he has written his story.
     
    I've mentioned a good few stories that are already posted, and am lucky enough to be working with authors that are producing some amazing stuff that is yet to come. I have till now not really mentioned the one work on GA that right now, for me, brings all three of these things together to make a terrific story. Stellar's Hidden Sunlight is something ordinarily I wouldn't have been interested in. I am not much of a scifi person, but for one reason or another I decided to check this one out. Rapidly I became besotted by the story, and then lucky enough to become a beta for the author. I guess this does make me slightly biased, but credit where credit is due. I have come to know the man behind the work, and he is a perfectionist. He fusses about the smallest detail, thinks, sees, talks through his characters. He knows them intimately. He's created a world I am certain he could sell realty for. He can tell you about the childhood of the Captains third henchman and has written email dialogue between a world of scientists about something I've never heard of, don't fully understand, yet believe completely.
     
    The key is Stellar knows his stuff. He believes it, is attentive to the way he presents it, and because of it, we get to enjoy an amazing story that has had me on the edge of my seat cursing more times than I care to admit. He has me loving the central characters, routing for the good guys, hating the protagonist and determined that happiness will come to those that deserve it. I love listening to the people of his story talk. I have imagined their voices in my head, have an image of their faces worked out and a layout of their home, surrounding land, and world all figured out mentally. That is the kind of story I love.
     
    There are wonderful artists of words here on GA, too many for me to mention them all, and many I have not even discovered yet. Some I have only just begun to read, and find myself woo'd into their stuff, others I have not checked out in a while. I guess I kind of figured that it is only fair when I've enjoyed reading something to share it, pass it on so to speak. If any of these stories have pricked your curiosity and you want to know the title or url, drop me a message, I am certain you will find them well worth your time.
     
    Thought for today - "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice. solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand." - Henri Nouwen
     
    Song for today (I adore this song) Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap
  17. Yettie One
    It's a subject that comes up often in one way or another, and it seems to have been a hot potato for some. I know I've blogged and shared my thoughts about reviews a few times, and I think we all have various different idea's and ways of reviewing. So what is a review really?
     
    Well, I think it is fair to say that there is no hard or fast rule to what a review is. In many ways it is simply just feedback from a reader to a writer right? In terms of its definition a review would be seen as a formal assessment or examination of something with the possibility or intention of instituting change if necessary. So should a review be wholly technical, based on the content and its presentation, or should it include your personal thoughts on the content of the story.
     
    For me, I guess reviewing a story is about sharing with a writer my thoughts and feelings in relation to how the text has influenced me. See I am of the opinion that criticism is a two edged sword, and each of us react to it differently.
     
    I've worked as a Beta with a number of different writers on GA, and had a number of different reactions to my feedback when it is presented as a critical opinion of their work. In the same way, I've had people leave reviews of my own work, and people message me with critical assessments of my work. For me personally, this has been a brilliant learning tool in that it has been wonderful to hear someone has enjoyed my writing, flaws and all, and other people have taken the time to write to me on a one to one level and try to help guide me on issues and improvements I can make in my presentation.
     
    So this is how I've come to approach my own reviews.
     
    Firstly I think it is only fair to offer a review of something I've read, even if it is just a few lines to say I enjoyed it. But in terms of a public review, I tend to leave a comment about the content and how I've interpreted things. I think a public review is about supporting a writer, and sharing with others your thoughts and feelings about the plot, characters and how things are unfolding. But strictly speaking this is more feedback than a review right?
     
    A lot of writers here on GA use a forum link for discussion about their story. I for one have never actually gone to a forum link to leave comment there for a range of reasons. Firstly I don't like tracking off from the story itself to another area to leave my thoughts. Also a forum strikes me as a place where discussion is open to anyone's participation. Is that feedback or a review, or more a way of encouraging a debate about something within a story?
     
    I know a couple of people have mentioned that within the GA review system there is no way to respond or discuss a writers response to a review you've left on a chapter. I am not sure that I see a forum as the right place to carry out a discussion, but see nothing wrong with responding to a comment from a writer by way of a personal message, and thus carry on a discussion in this way.
     
    In terms of critical feedback I don't think there is anything wrong with dropping a comment as long as it is content based and not personal. But interpretation of critique is a funny thing, and often without meaning you can cause offence with even the simplest of comment, so personally I find that critique is best shared in the privacy of a one to one discussion. That is just me.
     
    As for rating....
     
    I know two writers have complained to me that I don't always click like on a chapter when I've read it. Now see the thing is, I'm a fairly active member of the forum community and in much the same way you use like within the world of social media to indicate you've enjoyed or agree with something, I rapidly use up my like allowance within the forum area. This means when it comes to rating, like is not something I use for a story I've enjoyed.
     
    However, there is a star system within the writing area that allows you to leave a more realistic rating of the level of enjoyment that you've had from a chapter, it is just frustrating in that you have to return to the top of the page within a chapter to use it, before clicking the link back down at the bottom of the page to go on to the review area. The star systems means you can rate a chapter from 1 to 5 and thus leave a far more accurate assessment for other readers to see the rateable value of a story. In this way, via an anonymous rating system we can easily see if a story is good or bad. Now personally to me this makes so much more sense. It gives us a real chance to rate a story on being good or bad, and produce a real gauge of the content and readability of the writers work. Maybe I am wrong in this view of the rating system, but of all the things available to us to review a piece of work here on GA, it is for me, the better way of doing it.
     
    We are really lucky here at GA in that we have a really well thought out system of being able to interact with a writer. We have multiple ways of offering feedback on a story. We have any number of ways of sharing our thoughts and feelings, is it not fair that we do more of it? Maybe I am just completely off the mark, but personally for me, it takes me a few moments of my time to share with a writer how their works touched me, and I just wish more of us would do it. I know I like feedback when I get it, even the private messages that tell me my work was crap. It really is a whacky old world out there, and there are so many different opinions on this issue. I guess there isn't an real right way or wrong way, it is what is good for you. One thing is for sure though, we should all partake in reviewing a whole lot more.
     
    Thought for today - "We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing." - Billy Graham
     
    Song for today - Set My World on Fire by The Feeling
  18. Yettie One
    So, Space is the last real place that mankind is engaged in real pioneering exploration right. So does the idea of space inspire you enough to want to get involved in this exploration? Does the idea of being involved in the discovery of something new, unique and completely unknown make your juices flow enough to make you excited enough to want to take part in making some amazing discovery?
     
    Meh
     
    That all sounds too expensive, difficult, time consuming, and frankly Mr Yettie, I have no intention of joining the space program I hear you muttering.

     
    No Fear, I'm not asking you to expand on that childhood dream of becoming an astronaut or going out and buying some really expensive kit to explore the skies. No way Hosea! What I am talking about is taking part in a project that was started a few months ago, and promises to make 2013 a pretty special year in the exploration of the Red Planet, our next door neighbour Mars.
     

    This is an image of fan like structures that have been observed on the face of Mars by a satellite in orbit of the Red Planet that has for the last few years been photographing every square foot of the planet over and over again. This has resulted in the production of literally millions of photographic images of the planet in various stages of the season, and it is now known that these fans appear every year in the Martian Spring, what scientists suspect are gaseous eruptions much like geysers here on earth. It is believed that there is a warming of ice below the surface in the spring as the planet warms, and this is what leads to the formation of these structures that can be seen on the planet.
     
    The thing I found amazing about this discovery is that it was made by a Joe Blogs like you or me, who had registered on a website to take part in a project to help map and explore the pictures taken from the surface of the Martian surface. And this, spurred me to go and have a look, and suddenly become really enthused about taking part.
     
    It is simple really. You visit www.planet4.org where you can join over 55,000 other every day explorers who are given a piece of Mars to explore and classify to help scientists catalogue abnormalities on the surface and discover new and interesting formations on the surface. In this way, over 2 million images have now been classified, helping scientists to zone in and focus on findings that are leading to new and exciting ideas, theories and discoveries about our next door neighbour. The amazing thing. You could be a part of all that, and from the comfort of your over stuffed chair.
     
    It is not just Mars that these guys are exploring either. The main program, Zooinverse, located at www.zooniverse.org/projects has all manner of projects on the go, from exploring the moon, to helping to classify cyclones or explore the ocean floor. If you really want to, you can even help to classify cancer samples.
     
    It's nice to feel that in some small way, maybe something I did to help will be used to make some sort of breakthrough or fascinating discovery, and while maybe that is me being just a little bit delusional it is still a good feeling to be a part of something that is charting the exploration of parts of our universe we know nothing about. It also felt pretty amazing in that while I was working on the pictures I helped to classify, I couldn't help but think to myself that just maybe I was looking close at a portion of the Red Planet that had never been studies or looked at in such detail before. That is quite a remarkable feeling. I guess it'd be even better to be the first man to stand on the same spot and see it visually, but for now, this small effort on my part is as much as we can do, and yes, I can say that a Yettie was a part of that.
     
    2013 will in many ways be a pretty remarkable year as spacial events go. On the 15th February 2013, the largest object of recent history will pass a mere 35,000 miles from our surface, the asteroid 2012 DA14 a chunk of rock 45 metres wide. Make sure your valentines day is a special one this year.
    And then, come November December 2013 the mega comet Ison will come within 800,000 km of the surface of our sun, meaning we could have a feature in the sky that could be even brighter than a full moon in daylight hours. If that does indeed happen, surely it will be one of the most dazzlingly spectacular astronomical features of our night sky in our time. No wonder they are coining the term Comet of the Century for Ison's pass through our system.
     
    Two big events in a great year for star gazing if you are so inclined. Anyway, enough of me babbling on about something I've really enjoyed checking out, and I hope that in some ways, just maybe you'll be able to get as much interest out of it as I did. Hugs to you all and hope January is not treating you too badly.
     
    Thought for today - "Dream as if you will live forever, Live as if you will die today." - James Dean
     
    Song for today - Fill My Little World by the Feeling
  19. Yettie One
    I am lucky enough to have grown up in a place where I was able to be close to nature and bare witness to some of the most remarkable animals on our planet.
     
    I consider myself honoured to have been close to elephants, been charged by a rhino, stood eye to eye with a water buffalo, watched a pride of lions devour its kill. I've stroked a cheetah, albeit a baby one. I have listened to the hyena giggling outside our tent in the dead of night.
     
    I've taken pictures of the cutest jackal (i never knew they were so small) and been scared witless by a puff adder crawling in our garden. One of the joys of living in Africa is being on the doorstep of some of the most spectacular game and natural beauty on the globe. Anyone that lives there knows it, anyone who visits it, knows it, and anyone that's seen pictures of it knows it.
     
    But this is the scary thing to me. The idea and thought that one day soon, all I will be able to look at to recall the magnificent creatures that I was once able to stand and watch roaming free, alive and wild is a picture like the one above, scares the hell out of me.
     
    12 animals, slaughtered for nothing more than an ivory tusk by a gang of professional poachers???
     
    When the hell did poaching become a professional occupation? In Africa poaching has always been a serious issue. Mainly due to its vast size and poverty stricken people. Give a man an opportunity to feed his family for a year without hassle and you have a powerful motivator in your hands to inspire anyone to commit the most heinous of crimes against our natural world.
     
    The latest outrage to have made the press in a big way over here is an attack in Tsavo National Park in Kenya. A place where once over 30,000 elephants roamed free and wild, a place where now concern is so critical that a government is considering the formation of a national army to fight against poaching gangs. So is this the launch of an International war on Poaching?
     
    The crazy thing is that we living in the Western world get outraged as we see these things happening around the world, yet 50 years ago, it was us doing similar things in the pursuit of an ivory trinket to adorn our mantle or line our necks. Furs, skins, heads, teeth, body parts. You name it, we've wanted it, pursued it, taken as we please. Even I am guilty of this. Leather jackets hanging in my cupboard. An ivory handled letter opener on my desk. Think about it, nearly everyone of us are in some way guilty of it.
     
    Now as another part of our world comes into its time of wealth and prosperity, all those things that we enjoyed at the height of our time at the top, is now being craved by a whole new generation of people willing to pay the price to have the status symbols of success and power. And only now are we outraged by the senseless killing! Cites? An international treaty on the trade of endangered species? Hell it is a treaty without muscle and one that fails to go far enough to secure and ensure the safety of what little natural beauty this world of ours has left.
     
    It is the incessant greed of mankind that will be the ultimate downfall of this planet. We won't stop wanting what others around us have, until there is nothing left to want, and then even more. If is not the tusk of a Rhino to enhance our sexual performance then it will be the hide of some poor beast to line our boots and make our hand bags look pretty.
     
    Of all the things that I miss from Africa, the outdoor beauty of the natural world is the biggest on my mind. I cherish the moments I've spent on safari, camping, exploring the vast open savannah plains. My heart cries out at the senseless killing of such a treasure trove of beauty, yet I know deep down it will not stop. One day, very possibly even in my lifetime, I will not be able to dream of returning to see and explore the beauty I remember from my childhood, and that my friends is criminal. If anyone has the right to expect to be left in peace and allowed to prosper and multiply it is the animals that do nothing other than to enhance and give great wealth to our natural world.
     
    Woe are we, for we all have blood on our hands.
     
    Thought for today - "Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty." - Socrates
     
    Song for today - Caribbean Blue by Enya
  20. Yettie One
    So when did you figure out your sexuality either one way or the other?
     
    You know what I got to thinking about it today, and got curious. When was it in my own life that I became aware that gay was the way I was hardwired?
     
    Right so I guess I became sexually aware of what sexuality was all about around 10 or 11. I mean as a kid growing up, the difference between girls and boys was obvious and something I explored a bit as a kid, but it was only when I moved to a special Christian college that I discovered what sex was all about.
     
    Not sure what that says about Christian schools lol!
     
    It was while among a group of friends on a sleep over one night that as boys will be boys that we tried some exploratory stuff, and I guess that you can say is when my sexual awareness was awoken.
     
    It was interesting going back in time and thinking it through, as if I am completely honest, I cannot remember being curious about women in any way shape or form from that moment on in life. It was a year or two after that before I actually fooled around with a guy who was a close mate. In a way that experience scared the hell out of me, I mean heck I'd played sexually with a guy, and that meant that "I was gay!" Shock, Horror.
     
    I took me a good few years from that point before I was once more willing to explore my sexuality and it was when I was around fourteen at a church camp that I finally embraced the fact that it was a guy that I fancied the pants off.
     
    My individuality and sexual identity became defined more in my mind as I went through high school and had a crush on this guy and that guy. I was much to scared to do anything about it with anyone though as I grew up in an environment where homosexuality was so not the done thing, but as I've learnt in later times, a lot of us were gay and messing around with guys.
     
    Reflecting back in time, I can see now that I wasn't strange in some way. This "thing" I was, was not some freak of society or strange outcast of humanity, but at the time, I really struggled with the fact that it was a guy with a wonderfully pert ass that I fancied so much.
     
    I realise now, as I've pondered things, that I was gay from a really young age, it was just something that I never really accepted, and as such never understood enough to appreciate until i was much older and stronger to accept my identity.
     
    So when did it all begin? I am not sure that my life as a homosexual male really began until I was able to accept who I was and deal with its consequences for me and the idea that I could deal with life as a man who liked other men. I guess I am just saying if your a young man, questioning your identity, and your reading this, embrace yourself, and try to learn to accept who you are. It is not strange, different or weird that each of us is different and unique and individual, and some of us will be wired to like things other people won't understand or accept. Find strength in the fact that as a person, as the individual you are, you are beautiful and there are people out there just like you, just as mixed up and perplexed as you, and learning about life in much the same way you are.
     
    I hope that in this way, someone will not have to go through the lonely isolation I felt as a youngster, and realise that its ok to be you.
     
    I know its not the same of all of us, and some have it harder than others, but in this life we all go through the experience of growing up. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us its going to be ok, and it is alright to be who we are and what we are.
     
    Thought for today - "Certain defects are necessary for the existence of individuality." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
     
    Song for today - Tarzan Boy by Baltimora
  21. Yettie One

    I Feel F-A-T!

    By Yettie One,

    Disaster of the highest order struck on Christmas day. The Yettie made a balls up!
     
    I figured to myself that I'd be smooth and get all my veg and stuff preps on Christmas Eve after opening pressies. Not that this would take very long, it was just mom and me, but still it's always been a crimbo tradition to open our gifts on Christmas eve. I guess as kids we were just too impatient to wait till Christmas day!
     
    So yeah, I pealed the spuds, sorted out the greens, organised the carrots and then went to bed. Up nice and early to make Volcano Pudding and then at about nineish I figured it was time to whack the meat on. I popped into the kitchen only to find to my horror that the damn roast was still in the freezer!
     
    OMG. We had volcano pudding and ice cream for Christmas lunch!!!
     
    Ah well, I got to have my roast and eat it. Yep, i did it today. And Omigosh what a fine damn piece of pork it was. Crispy crackling and tender as......... erm I was going to say a babies bum, but NO that is just WRONG!
    It was just nice and tender. Yep that's it! haha
     
    I think the Christmas food has always been my favourite part of Christmas Mom used to make the Canadian Fruit cake. I tried to make it last year and well, it just didn't stay together. I guess if you enjoy eating your Christmas cake as crumbs off a plate then it wasn't too bad! I've steered away from baking since then, although I do make a mean banana bread.
     
    So Boxing day was pancakes for breakfast, and then nothing till dinner. We were out for dinner, and oh boy what an experience. We sat next to a woman that had clearly had one too many sherry's and was rather merry to say the least. She was flirting rather blatantly with the waiters, and making pretty brazen passes at the bar staff. Singing rather unconvincingly to Celiene Dion and frequently getting up to have a quick twirl to some song or another, until eventually totally disorientated from a rather vigorous twirl, she plonked herself down, landing half on and half off the chair and promptly bouncing off the chair to park herself firmly on her derrière on the floor at my feet.
     
    I've been solicited before, but never in that way!
     
    I finally got to finish my rework of Breathless, which i feel rather proud of to be fair. I am going to leave it for a while and go back to it a couple of times to fine tune it before I get to post it. Hopefully I can attract the attentions of an editor and some readers to check it over first as well. I can hope ey!
     
    And then today. MY ROAST.
     
    Um, yeah I am rather proud of myself. Last year I got the damn tin foil stuck to the crackling, and the year before I didn't use tin foil and burnt the whole thing! This year. I got it just right! Even if it was two days too late, clever cloggs!
     
    So now, I'm sprawled out on the couch feeling rather fat and full. I'm watching blooper videos (you might know them as fail compilations) and trying not to giggle too damn much as it hurts my tummy. I have a Strawberry and Lime Kopperberg next to me and some really great music on the speakers.
     
    Good way to end the day. Hey hope you've all managed to enjoy your crimbo so far. Try smile if you can, its good to giggle like a girl.
     
    Thought for today - "Before someone's tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today." - unknown
     
    Song for today - If You Tolerate This by the Manic Street Preachers.
  22. Yettie One

    Christmas Upon Us

    By Yettie One,

    So it is right on our doorstep ey! Christmas Eve is here and while this year may really not seem like all the others I've known or enjoyed, it is still for me somewhat of a symbol of hope that there is some purpose for us all in this world, and we can come together and remember those we miss and cherish and spend time with those we still have time to be able to spend.
     
    I am not overly religious, but I have indicated in the past that I do have a belief, and so I guess that the season also bears hallmarks of that belief structure. It is a time to reflect on who I am as a person and my overall place in the bigger scheme of things. This is not to say that you need worry that I am about to twist your ear with some religious jargon, but I do think it is worth saying that each of us have a different spirituality or belief structure, and if I am able to respect yours I'd hope you have enough respect to allow me to have mine and be able to freely speak about it. That said, let me move on.
     
    To everyone that has taken the time to embrace me and get to know me over the last few months that I have been a visitor to this site, I thank you. I respect each of you as a friend, and fondly think of many of you as friends. Your thoughts, words and chat brighten my day, give me cause to smile, and help me to make it through the day in very trying personal times in my life. So for this I am eternally grateful and even more in your debt forever.
     
    May this time be special. May joy and happiness follow you every day of the season. My love and kindness abound and may you feel the warm and friendly embrace of acceptance throughout the days ahead. As we move into a new year, may goodness and prosperity richly bless you and may 2013 be a truly great year for you all.
     
    For those who will not get to smile this year, for those who shed tears at this time, for those that struggle and fail to see the joy of the season, may you find rest and solace in someone, somewhere at this time that we all need a shoulder to lean on, and a hug that lets us know it will be ok. May you be touched in some small measure this year and as the new year dawns, may the hope of tomorrow burn bright and the pain of yesterday fade slowly into the distance.
     
    Love to you all, and massive Yettie Huggles to all.
  23. Yettie One

    What a Day!

    By Yettie One,

    Well, hell that was on mind twister of a day. I mean the carnage of oblivion was so chaotic I am surprised that I can at all make it to a keyboard and be able to share my thoughts of doomsday and the effects of being lost somewhere on the edge of existence. It was actually really good to meet half of you on the stairs up to this waiting room, I guess the other half were going down stairs???
     
    LOL
    I can quite honestly say I am pretty glad that I'm still breathing today. Not that I expected otherwise as I've already said in other posts, but all the same I wasn't in any real hurry to be rid of this life. So yeah, its quite nice to be able to sit here and tap away at the keys and say, "Hey gang, we made it through another whole end of the world thing!"
     
    I was rather shattered to find this evening when I sat down to check out the Antho for the Mayan End of the World, to discover that I'd really messed up my entry. See I was one of the people that submitted like 4 hours before the deadline on Cia's end of the world, which in reality meant it was like 2 am in the morning here when I submitted it, and I figured I was late and would get in proper trouble.
     
    As it was I didn't get my backside spanked by Cia, but I did however submit the wrong bloomin copy of my story, a rough draft of the work, not the final edit.
    So for anyone that has already read Breathless, please accept my apology, the work you read was pants and full of mistakes. The final copy has been sent out to Cia and will be put right soon I hope. I'm a bit miffed at myself for being so disorganised, but I'd ask you bear with me, my head has really been in the clouds of late.
     
    I have to say, the mods here, well I mainly deal with Cia, although I do know a couple of the others from the blog and chat, but Cia has the patience of a saint far as I'm concerned. I've cocked up my enteries a few times in the past and she's always helped me through it without complaining, even though I'm sure she's rolling her eyes at me.
    I guess that is part of the joy of being on GA. It's a good thing to be given the chance to be a fool, make mistakes, be yourself and still be able to get on with everyone. Acceptance regardless of perception, opinion or persuasion. From the sharp tongued critic to the greatest friends, I've met some really brilliant people through GA, and can really understand now why so many people rave about the community behind GA and the support networks that it offers.
     
    One of these fine days I am damn sure going to sort out a road trip of the good ol US and come visit a good many of you. I owe you all Yettie Hugs.
     
    But anyway, back to the original thought, I'm glad that the world didn't go pooof in a cloud of smoke today. I get to talk crap for a few more years yet, make stupid jokes in the "make us laugh" post on the forum, and ramble on about this and that on my blog. I'm also hoping that I get to finish "Reflections of a Very British Rent Boy" and "Building the Bridge". That would be a fine thing.
     
    Hope you all had a wonderful "End of the World" day and are all ready for crimbo now. Yettie Huggles to all.

     
    Thought for today - "Life is a song - Sing it. Life is a game - Play it. Life is a challenge - Meet it. Life is a dream - Realise it. Life is a sacrifice - Offer it. Life is love - Enjoy it." - Sia Baba
     
    Song for today - Looking Back, Over My Shoulder by Mike and the Mechanics
  24. Yettie One
    So the Mayan's reckon they know something that we don't ey?
     
    Well if this is so, then by all accounts come sometime Friday, I'll be sitting somewhere in either a heaven or a hell or somewhere in between, as yeah, I guess I am one of those crazy goons that believes in an afterlife of some sort.
     
    I am not really worried about it, I mean I made comment in a post on the Forum the other day, that mankind has been predicting the demise of the world since the time the first civilisations began recording their history and beliefs. One of the main issues I have with the theory is that no one can definitively say that the Myan's predicted the end of the world, or just stopped their calendar on the date in question.
     
    Unlike other predictions of an apocalypse and the demise of the planet along with the end of the world, the Mayan calender just simply stops. There is no prediction or indication of what comes next. That in itself could be a forbearer of doomsday I guess, but then again, we also know the Maya people had three different calenders, so the fact that one of them simply comes to a halt is kind of confusing. Why would only one of them come to an end? Personally I believe that this fact could very simply be explained by the fact that way back then, the Maya guys and gals who gathered around to plot out this calender probably considered the year 2012 to be ludicrously far off in the future, and very possibly a date that the world would never reach, so why plot the calender further than this point?
     
    Plausible? But of course, theory is all about finding possible answers. The truth of the matter is that until Friday or a few days either side, we will never really know, and even if we do survive as a society and species, beyond the ultimate cut off date giving allowance for calculation errors, we will still never know the answer as to why the calendar ends where it does. We simply can't go back in time to find out!
     
    However the potential prospect of the world coming to its end this week posed two very interesting questions to me, and I thought I'd share my thoughts with you. The first of these two questions is looking back over my time on earth asking, do I regret anything I've done and is there anything I'd have done differently, or am I content with the life I've lived here on our homely little rock in the galaxy?
     
    I have actually thought about this question an awful lot since I first asked it of myself on Sunday while I was watching a Discovery program about doomsday scenarios. It gave me cause to reflect back over masses of my own personal history, things I've done, memories, decisions, lessons learnt, adventures had, experiences hooked under my belt. I am lucky to have had a fairly active life, I've seen and done an awful lot. Some of it good and yeah of course some of it not so good.
     
    Would I change any of it? The conclusion I have come to is that there is only really one thing that I'd do differently, although I don't make this decision based on a bitter regret, more an understanding now that had I made this decision my life could have been very different as a result.
     
    The thing I would have done differently is coming out. You see I never really came out. To this day, I don't shout about my sexuality. I also won't hide it from someone asking for an honest answer, but in the later years of my life, I have begun to realise that had I been a little less afraid of bucking the trend, there are a lot of opportunities and doors that would have opened to me that I had no clue to being there when I was hidden in the closet.
     
    Look this is something every gay guy or gal goes through. Choosing when to come out vastly effects the kind of people that you will come into contact with, and that in turn will influence a lot of the social circles we mix in, our self confidence issues and life choices that we make. I am not so much worried about the fact that I didn't "Come Out" so to speak, just that I was a little too stiff to explore more and take chances with opportunities that were given to me when I had a chance. I wish I'd been a little more daring I guess.
     
    That, however, is the only thing that I would do differently if I am honest. I've had a chance to love, and lost it, had a chance to deal with the joys of life and the sorrows of death. I've been financially comfortable, and financially poor. I've travelled, met amazing people, seen some truly stunning places and done some hair raisingly stupid and dangerous things.
     
    For the most part I have really enjoyed my life. There is one person I wish I could speak to again. One person I'd love to spend more time with. But the circumstances do not allow this, and for that reason I don't regret that we no longer speak, just wish I could change that.
     
    There is a hell of a lot more that I would wish I had time to do, and in a way I do kind of get angry at the fact that things are so messed up in the world right now, and prevent us from being more carefree and happier, but then again, I am sure I am not the only person to have said that in his time on earth. I can only imagine how many times that sentiment was shared during the World Wars and the great depression. I am sure as well that people living through those experiences must have really believed that the world was coming to an end right there around them.
     
    So in the big scheme of things, if I am to die on Friday, I die happy at where I am in life.
     
    Ok, so my second question to myself...
    In a real doomsday situation, when I know that I am in the final hours of the planet, who would I want to be with, and where would I want to be?
     
    Hell, you know, if I am brutally honest with you all, I still am not really sure I know the answer to this. It is such a hard question to ponder, and if you really put yourself in a situation where you face the horror of what that kind of feeling must be like, where you are afraid, panicked, concerned, desperate for information, yet not really wanting to know what is coming...
    When you really face that kind of overwhelming emotion, you can't think straight. You can't choose. You want a chance to say goodbye to everyone that has ever meant anything or been important to you.
     
    As I mentally ran through all the people I've ever known, and the places I've ever been, I could endlessly name people and places that I'd like to be with, but I figured the only way to really get an answer to this question was to stick it out to the end and figure it out.
     
    So my answer...
     
    At this time in my life, the person that is most important to me is my mom. I couldn't and would not leave her alone to face the horror of a doomsday alone as I run off to be somewhere else, with one of the other people I'd have liked to choose. If I could really be choosy, I wouldn't mind having my dad there too, and I guess that the reason for that decision is that I kind of feel that I'm best known to my folks right? So in a bloody scary time like a doomsday scenario, the best people to be with, would be people that completely know you, understand you and love you.
     
    They'd know how to calm me, and I'd be comfortable being with them when it came to the end. So yeah, it kind of seems like the logical decision to me. As for where? Meh, just at home in front of the TV watching something really funny on DVD would be fine for me.
     
    I guess if I were involved in a relationship that it'd be different for me, but as things stand those would be my choices, and I feel pretty good about them too.
     
    So there you have it. Two interesting questions I thought. I'd be interested to know what you think and what your answers would be. In the long or the short of it, I don't think that come Saturday we'll be any worse off than we are today, but time will tell if I am right or wrong.
     
    Thought for today - "Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them." - Dion Boucicault
     
    Song for today - Separate Ways by Journey
  25. Yettie One

    Peek Aboo

    By Yettie One,

    Wow
     
    So it's been a bit of a hiatus for the Yettie of late. I've been pretty bad in terms of sticking to my chosen story, keeping my head down, and dealing with the various issues life's cast my way. Allow me to rant and rave for a while if I may, and try bring those of you that read up to speed.
     
    So
    The first real issue that kind of made me duck under the radar if you will was an official offer received in writing from a Radio Station that I have been consulting too for a number of months now. They have a dream of starting a community Radio Station here in the UK that will teach and train young African people in the skills of sound management recording, producing, presenting and broadcasting in order that they can take these skills back to Africa and use them to develop Radio and Broadcasting on the continent. Big ideas. I approve. But suddenly I was faced with a formal job offer for a senior management position on the team, and this threw me into a quandary.
     
    As many of you will know, in addition to a job I am lucky enough to be able to do from home for a National Radio Station, I also have my own business, and am a full time carer for my mother. Now in recent months mom's health has really begun to dwindle. More so her memory than anything else, and where as before I could leave her for the daylight hours in fairly firm comfort that she would be alright, now this is no longer the case, and therefore, how on earth would I realistically be able to consider a full time position?
     
    If I am to be blatantly honest, my first reaction after the excitement calmed down, was to realise that I would have to turn this position down, and as it has been something I've been working towards for so damn long, that idea hurt like hell. I hate to admit it, and it appals me to write this, but for a time my anger lead to resentment. I was so angry that I would have to sacrifice a big career opportunity to fulfil my duty to my family. Many years ago now, when things went to pot back in Africa, I came to the acceptance that as I'm the only one of my siblings not married with kids, the responsibility of long term care in later life would fall to me, and after loosing everything to politics and land acquisitions in Zimbabwe, my parents really didn't have much of a choice when it came to retirement.
     
    As I worked through my feelings, I was challenged by guilt at feeling robbed of a chance I'd die for in any other circumstance. I felt disappointed that this is my lot. I felt self pity, loathing, ah hell all sorts of things, and dealing with that is honestly not at all easy. But this is my mom, and I cannot turn my back on her in her hour of need? Right?
     
    So with a heavy heart I turned down the position.
     
    The next big kick was to get news from my sister that her Cancer had returned and she'd have to undergo yet another treatment of Chemo followed by a battery of Radiation in the New Year, and she'd also go onto HRT. Now I watched my father wither away to cancer a number of years ago, and while I am not really very close to many of my siblings, I am close to the one with Cancer.
     
    In addition to this, a guy that has become a really very special friend to me, also suffers with this terrible curse, and has had a battle from hell with the illness. We don't talk as often as I wished we could, but when we do I can only but choke up behind a keyboard as I read of his struggles and tribulations.
     
    But you know what?
     
    Through all the pain, hurt, suffering, both my mate and my sister have to be the strongest people I know, and my heart cries out for them so. They are fighting. They are desperate to enjoy every single moment they are given, and I can't help but feel anger and bitterness at the unfairness of it.
     
    It is difficult to deal with you know?
     
    In the midst of all this chaos of personal and family health issues, job disappointments, emotional roller coasters, along goes the Young Musician whom I manage and lands himself a fat old recording contract. Well, actually we landed him the contract, but yeah, you get the idea.
    Cause for celebration?
    Hell yes, but celebration with a heavy heart, a fake smile on my face, and the knowledge that I'm not fooling anyone when I pretend to be alright.
     
    He's on tour in Africa right now as I write, and in a way I've kind of enjoyed having the additional buzz and energy of the demands of preparing for a tour. But it's left me shattered, tired and mentally worn out.
     
    Blogging which I love doing has been flung to the wayside. Emails, messages, SMS's. Just some me time you know? It just don't really exist right now. Some days I feel like a clown in a circus act desperately trying to juggle chain saws.
    LOL
    "Drama Queen", I hear you all saying. Don't worry, I don't mind you thinking it, I've thought it myself often enough.
     
    There are times in life when you wonder how in the heck you are meant to cope, but you know what, when it comes to it, you just find a way to do it. We have to in order to survive. We adapt, change, suit our circumstances. We learn to swallow disappointment and get on with life. We learn to celebrate the good things, laugh at the funny things, cry when we are moved, and get angry when something pisses us off. This is what humanity is right?
     
    As I sit here writing this, I am struck that I am not alone. I am not the only person that has had a rough spell of it recently. I'm not unusual or any kind of exception to the rule. I am like most of us, and while I may not deal with these things the same way as any one of you, I have found a way to cope. While my feelings and thoughts may plague me, cause me to worry and fret, feel guilty and evoke emotions I struggle to contain, I can still stand proud as I've stood the test of time, stuck to my duty and been the one that was there when it counted. I don't mind sharing this with each of you, to be able to say those words holds more value to me than anything else could. I hope you can understand this.
     
    So while I have been missing of late, I've been around. Surviving, enjoying Circumnavigation when I chill out before going to sleep, quietly watching comments and posts. There. Not visible but near, watching over my little circle of friends, smiling at your wins, frowning at your silly moments, and just as fond of you all today as I've ever been.
     
    There is one good thing that has come out of all of this. The owner of the Radio Station came to see me to ask why I'd turned down the position with the station. I explained things, and he left saying he admired and accepted my decision. I felt really good about that, but not as good as I felt when he called me a few days later, and told me that the Board of Directors had decided to extend the offer to include an entitlement to work from home while I am in my current circumstances. It may mean that if I do accept the new offer I may eventually have to move, but hey. Sometimes doing the right thing makes the right set of results happen for us in the long run right?
     
    Hugs, hello's, love and Yettie cuddles to you all. Get in touch, lemme know how you all been.
     
    Thought for today - "Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But sometimes, knowing which decisions to take can be the most painful of all..." - José N. Harris
     
    Song for today - Shinning Light by Ash
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