Yettie One

Heya RJ. You always manage to find such a perfect way to describe things. I very much wanted to explore this illusion that victims of abuse seem to fall under, that love comes with the burden of pain, and try to understand that mentality, when someone is willing to endure such torment in the pursuit of love and affection. I found it really hard actually, as it is such a powerful process to work your way through, so I am glad that it came across the way it did, and while it is really dark, it was a very enlightening experience as a writer. Thanks for your feedback buddy. Really appreciate it. x

Heya KC. I guess for someone that has lived through something that your able to compare to the characters emotional and mental state makes it real and visceral to you. That I captured a scant part of that as a reality in your eyes means a lot to me, and I appreciate your feedback. I am glad you took the time to share your thoughts and read. Ta bud. x

Hey Bill. You are spot on the money mate. It is a reality for far too many, and unacceptably so, but where does it ever end? I felt that the desperation and desire for love in someone so vulnerable was important to explore, and I hope that I managed to adequately portray the conflict within to endure for the sake of love. Thanks so much for reading, and taking the time to comment. Hugs

There are already a number of weapons systems in existence that once told their target and given coordinates, they are completely autonomous. From launch to return, they think for themselves, defend themselves, choose their own route and communicate. process and react to information from other military field assets that might be in the same proximity in which it is operating. http://charlesfrith.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/northrup-grumman-drone-heliicopter.html More details on the platform at that link. So the technology is certainly there. How long before they create a battlefield drone to replace the foot soldier? It can't be that far away. They are already far into development of exoskeleton technology via a contractor called Raytheon. It is not hard to imagine a fully operational system from being that far away.

Okies Saturday does sound a lot more fun. I suspect that a Saturday night out on the town along Canal Street ought to be an eye opener too! Anyone else coming then?

Hmmmmmm, Thankfully I never really had to worry about dolls. Being the last born and a fair distance from my next sibling, they were all grown up and didn't have silly things like dolls to get all worried over. However, it did mean that they got to watch movies I wasn't allowed too, and a fine example of that was the bloody film IT. My brother thought it'd be fun to allow me to watch it with them, and omg, I've never looked on clowns in the same way since. Can't stand the things. I went to a fancy dress once, and a mate came dressed as a clown. Prompt reason to leave said party and go home in a mood. Yeah, so think that this whole possession thing could be applied to any kind of item produced to entertain kids. Keep the clowns away from me!!!

Ok people So here it is. Saturday the 13th July 2013 or Sunday 14th July 2014. Please let me know which day would be best. The venue I have selected is called Lammar's Restaurant and Bar. It is situated just off of Cannal Street in Manchester. They have a beer garden, so I think it would be wonderful if it is a warm summers day. I'd suggest meeting there for say 11.30 and plan to eat around 1.30 pm. For the afternoon, we just lounge in the Beer Garden and have a good time before taking a stroll along Cannal Street in the evening for a few drinks and view some of the sights. Aim to end up around 8pm and get those travelling back to the stations, or where ever they need to be. Manchester is really quite close to me, and I have a number of contacts in the town, so can sort out some sort of shuttle/taxi service for us all to be picked up and taken from A to B if needs be. Please contact me and let me know directly your requirements and I'll make sure to get it sorted for you. Anyone else think of anything else we could do or should be preparing? Please let me know who's game for coming along, and I will let Lammar's know to book us the room. Link to details for the restaurant would be - http://www.manchesterbars.com/lammars.htm Anything else you need to know, just let me know and I'll get the answer.

Stephen Spielberg stand aside. Peter Jackson can come see me for lessons! Had George Lucas on the phone all morning, and Andy Wachowski is going all "Desperately Seeking Susan" on me!!! And why is all this happening? Well, it is simple really! If you'd been in my dream last night, you'd have had no doubt it was a masterpiece of visual fiction. Oh man there was edge of your seat action. In fact, forget edge of the seat, the whole gallery would have been on its feet cheering. There was suspense and tension unlike anything you could ever imagine. I was hanging on every word in the dream I assure you. As for the visuals and on location scenery, even New Zealand's lush settings depicted in Lord of the Rings didn't come close. There was everything from a ridiculously risky chase, to mind blowing special effects, and hell, whoever did the casting for my dream did one HELL of a job. I've never seen such beautiful people other than in my dreams. The lead actor was erm........ Heaven. Stunning is not close enough to the word needed to aptly describe the effect he had on me. I'm telling you, if I could produce this dream on the big screen, it'd clean up at every awards ceremony you could imagine. Cain's film festival would never be the same after screening such a magnificent feature film, and be if the Bafta's, the Golden Globes, the Emmy's or the MTV movie awards, they'd all be coming home with me. So.......... What is the marvellously wonderful movie all about you ask? Erm........ Here in lies the problem. I can't remember! All I know is that when I woke up this morning, I knew I'd been a part of a truly sublime, breathtakingly spectacular experience while lost in slumber land. I have spent huge tracts of time today desperately trying to recall what it was that had such an effect on me, and took me to such amazing highs and such visceral lows while I slept. Why the hell do dreams fade so quickly? I am sure if I could remember, I'd have pure gold on my hands. Jeeeesh, making a movie of that magnitude would be a licence to print money.... I am convinced. The human imagination is really remarkable, and the fact that in my sleep it can generate something so powerful and mind blowing is beyond me. How it was able to take little bits of everything I've ever seen and put it all together into a flowing, detailed narrative that had me spellbound despite being completely unaware of anything going on around me is quite fantastical. Oh the power of the mind. If only we could tap into it a little more, just a smidgen more than we do. We'd be a very intelligent lot indeed. Instead I spent the day feeling like an idiot, day dreaming about a dream I know was sensational, yet know nothing about. How ironic is that! Oh I am a strange Yettie at times, but I tell you what. If I can continue dreaming on that scale, I am going to cancel my Netflix subscription, and rely on slumber for my visual fiction fix. It's a bank holiday weekend here in the UK, and got gigs going on for three of my artists this weekend, so it is a real busy one for me. Here's hoping that you have a really good time what ever you have planned. If you are in the UK and get to enjoy the holiday, stay safe and be good. And if you can't be good, then just be bloody good at it. To those of you that have to work on Monday. Hmmmmmmm, I will be thinking of you as I have a nice lazy lie in! hehe. Hugs to ya all. Lemme know what you been up to. Thought for today - "Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move onto something that is more productive." Donald Trump

Shocked. He always made me smile and was such a wonderful ray of sunshine in chat. Such a happy person, and so full of life. We will miss you big guy. Our loss is heavens gain. Rest easy bud. Make those angels smile.

Give anyone a chance, and you'd be amazed at how many of them will completely surprise you. As hard as it is to not judge a book by its cover, to not form some kind of preconceived perception of someone when we first meet or speak, I frequently am guilty of doing this. In many ways it irritates me, as it is something that I have worked really hard to try not to do, yet constantly, I find myself jumping to conclusions and guessing. Thing is, more often than not I am so bloody far off the mark in my assumption, it is bloody appalling. At times, some sense of caution or a feeling of something being off, has been justified in the long term, as time allows me to prove that my inkling was well placed. But more often than not, I have found that the person, given the time, proves to be interesting, loyal, endearing and a good friend. I have always been thrilled by intelligence. A smart person, who has something interesting to say has always been able to captivate my attention, and easily becomes someone I both admire and enjoy spending time talking too. I guess it is one of the characteristics of a person that I am attracted too. Yet, in as much as everyone is interesting on some level, it is something that only becomes apparent when we allow it to show, and this is I guess where the point I am trying to make lies. You see, as much as I am guilty of jumping to conclusions, or forming a perception of someone based on look, dress sense, accent, demeanour, or any one of a huge array of factors, you are doing exactly the same thing. Whether you want to admit it or not, it is something we are all doing. It is for this reason that we get along with some people more than we do with others. For as much as I may want to take the time to get to know you, your preconceptions might have already concluded in your mind that I am not someone that you wish to spend any time with. Ask yourself this. How many times in life have you had some from of prejudice against someone. For whatever petty reason it is, you have chosen NOT to befriend said individual. Yet at some point down the line, for some bizarre reason, you have had a chance to actually get to know said individual, and discovered that, hey, they really are not that bad. In actual fact, given a chance, they have proved to be really quite entertaining, and yes, guilty as charged, we blacklisted a perfectly good candidate for friendship based on our own flawed perception. Perish the thought that we could be so callous, or judgemental! Yet, daily we are guilty of doing this. How many times has someone said something to you right here on GA, and you've judged them based on a pre conception? I guess as I've gotten older, I have learned that everyone deserves a chance. There are some amazingly interesting people out there. Some will affect or impact on your life for the briefest moment, a ship passing in the night, yet they will most certainly have something to contribute if you allow it. Others, may become treasured friends. People you would never have given the time of day to under normal circumstances. Strange as it is, when you actually choose to overlook your prejudices, you find that there are hidden gems around every corner. And while we may not all live in one another's pocket, and our friendship have different dynamics and serve different purposes, give someone the chance to be a friend, and you might just find that hey, they really are worth the time and effort. I am writing this as much for myself as anyone who may read it. Some might think I am full of hot air, and that is fine. I do not expect everyone to see the same things I see, but I would challenge you to at some point in the future, put yourself on the spot, and try it out for yourself. Allow someone that you might not ordinarily get close to, become a confidant, and see how amazing it can be to meet some of the most fascinating and interesting people on the planet. Thought for today - "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." - Thomas Merton

The cycle of life for a bully plays out exactly as you've described here. For a while, they are "the cool kids" everyone fears them, everyone stays out of their way, everyone secretly despises them. Then one day, someone stands up to them, and proves that they are not all that powerful. What follows is a lonely isolation, where they have to accept that really, the mean persona is not as cool as they thought. Bullies always end up alone, hurting, and hated. Sad thing is, it is normally because of some perceived deficiency that they are a bully in the first place. Troubled home life, deep personal secret, low self esteem. Whatever it is, underneath it all there is some issue that needs to be confronted and dealt with, and as I read this, this point comes across really clearly. I had totally pictured Allan all wrong. In my mind he was slightly plump, maybe ginger, and kind of short. Hahaha How bloody wrong was I? Two things I liked, and one I disliked. 1. You managed a completely different feel in the narative, which was really important. This was a different story about the same people, and needed a different POV and feel to it. 2. The sex scene was really sensitive. Visually more graphic than anything else you have done, in many ways it fitted the characters so well, and needed I think to be more visceral and dynamic. So that was really well done. 3. I did not like the fast pace of the flow. Yeah I know, a short story, but I guess I started by reading Nemesis and falling in love with the detail included there. Here, I found myself wanting the same. Greedy is me I know, but I guess I'm just pointing out what I felt as I was reading. While that is not a bad thing, (I see it as a positive as I wanted more, which meant I engaged with the story and that is a good thing) I do think that it is one of the difficulties in doing off shoot stories. As a reader I guess we expect more of the same, and when we don't find it is the same, we get gloomy! We are a fussy lot. I'm glad I got to see things through Allan's eyes. I didn't think much of him in the original story, but I guess I understand him better now. Thanks.

Firmly, one of my favourite stories on this site, and by far one of the very best Gay Fiction stories I've read in a long time. Thank you for sharing this wonderful adventure with us. Your story telling ability is masterful, and I so look forward to the spin off stories that come out of this. With anticipation I must tell you! Well done on a marvellous work of fiction bud. This is the way writing should be done, and along the way, you might please some of the people some of the time, and some of the others, at other times, but it is nigh on impossible to please everyone all of the time, so well done. I think you produced a remarkably balanced and sound tale of two lads coming to terms with the complexity of sexuality and its impact on our lives. Furthermore, I think you do yourself great justice in your humble and genuine response to your readers. I am so very glad I came across your work.

I like the way that you made Matt a decent guy. He can accept rejection and still be a mate. Real maturity in that boy. Good to see somethings sorting themselves out and coming to some sort of stability in the story. Just one more major hurdle to cross now it seems, and you are right, everyone deserves and needs time. When he'd ready it will come right.

Short, Sharp and oh so sweet. Ok, so things are not prefect, and Dave has issues to work out either at home or away from it. Nick survived school, ish it seems. Allan. Well.... Not much else to say, other than to say I hope this part of the story works itself out somehow.

Haha Mr Wilde, for the first time in this story, I'ma gunna say I don't buy something! Nah, it is not an impossibility, just something I kind of have my doubts about in this modern day and age. The fact I would point to, is the lads getting a B&B on their own at their age. Now argument could be made in several different ways, I accept that. They bribed the receptionist, they arrived on a motorbike they might have appeared more mature than expected. Lots of reasons to say yeah ok, maybe. But I do feel that part of the plot didn't live up to the well thought out plausibility of the rest of it. Having said that, I do hope that is the last of the major drama, although I think Dave is going to have a hard time dealing with his "revelation" at home. I could kiss Zoe for calling the police. So want to see Craig get what he deserves. Loved the cuteness of their time together, the way you tell of there experience is delicate and clever. Enough detail, yet nothing vividly graphic. Superb. And the wonderful little bit with the boys pondering the Nemesis factor of their friendship. Very cleverly brought into the dialogue mate. Loved this chapter in so many ways. Great writing.

I am not at all sure what made me suspect this, but from the first time Criag went skitzo, I had a horrible suspicion that Nick was going to fall fowl of rape to this man. Kind of irritates me that the boys are just trying to hide it, or at least keep it quiet, so people can continue enjoying their lives. Part of me just wants to scream, part of me wants to kill someone, and part me me feels completely defeated. The clever thing here Mr Wilde my dear friend, is that it is you who has generated all that emotion, and despite that this is fiction, you have a whole host of readers that would gladly commit murder for your characters. That is a great achievement for any writer, and you should feel very proud. You have spent a lot of time and effort, and fine tuned this story into something that your readers have bought into. They feel as you direct. The gasp as you make them gasp, and coil back in horror at moments that you expose them to horrific details. The smile, or giggle when you give them cause. You are totally and completely in control, and most readers would be hanging on every word by now. (It'd take a hard arsed fussy two shoes to not be enthralled in the plot and in love with its characters). Your peaks and troughs are dizzying, and as many times as I have thought, 'Right I am off to sleep now', I find I am unable to leave it there and go off to sleep. It is now 4.15 am and I still just want to keep reading. Argggggggggh Loves it!

It is not often that you come across someone talking about Tom McRea. That is real sad stuff/ I'm glad that a lull has come. In some ways, the story needs it. Too much emotion can leave a reader feeling as drained as the characters. However, you have left the door open for so much more drama to potentially occur in this story, that the reader is baited to carry on. Good chapter.

Ouch Hell, that was raw. Emotion packed, and a gut punch like no other. I can't say I enjoyed it, but I found the writing compelling. The mix of emotions, anger, guilt, regret, misery, loathing. It was all in there and all going on in rapid and confusing detail. Exactly as it would be if you had to live through it. Astoundingly believable and well written Well done, for making something so difficult so vivid and alive.

Clever, chilled, visceral. Perhaps not quite what I expected, but deep and meaningful all the same. The channel of frustration that Nick feels suits his character impeccably Impatient, he's always wanted this. Dave's caution. Spot on. He's been there, and is dealing with feelings he's never felt, so it must be pretty strange to him, despite the animalistic urge to procreate.

Ah heck, too many to name if I am honest. Lets see Movies 1. Black Hawk Down 2. Schindler's List 3. Out of Africa 4. Cry Freedom 5. Sarafina 6. Blood Diamond 7. Inception 9. Matrix 10. Lord of the Rings trilogy. I could go on and on, films are one of my favourite methods of escapism. TV 1. Taggart 2. Law and Order - Special Victims Unit 3. Lie to Me. 4. House 5. QI 6. Mock the Week 7. Major Crimes 8. Myth Busters 9. Sherlock Holmes (in a variety of guises, but the new BBC 1 series is bloody brilliant) 10. Spooks. Again, could go on listing a good few other programs. Got to be honest, British drama and crime fiction on the telly is outstanding.

Wow Someone was flush to get a Stratocaster. I am insanely jealous! What a machine! And Nick's reaction was so cute. A humble boy, with issues. He's human, and feels the sting of isolation and abandonment. I am glad that it was demonstrated, and there were no fancy words, or big meltdowns, just simple acceptance. It felt just the right amount of emotion, reaction and dialogue. Haha I remember the first time I ever went to get a gift for a boy. I didn't have a bloody clue. Once more, I found the chapter was over so much sooner than I wanted it to be. Awesome writing. x

I admire your honesty. That desire to find a way to freedom is the fire that will keep you striving. It is tough to beat addiction of any sort. Smoking, drugs, alcohol. Yet you know what you want, and have faced up to your demons. That is the start on this long road of recovery. Keep holding on to that hope bud. One day!

Each to their own. I think that there is an element of adventure in some relationships that would allow exploration and potentially thrive on an open agreement to engage with other folk. I also think that there is a whole lot of merit in trust and faithfulness and monogamy. For whatever reasons you choose your own kind of relationship status, I don't think there is a right or a wrong way. Whatever works for you. Personally though. Open relationship, or more than one partner. Not something I could do. I do have a jealous streak in me somewhere.

It is a murmur A quite touch, a gasp, a quiver; A simple sign A rise and fall, an in and out. It is so fragile So precious, glorious, special; A delicate marvel That points to all we hold dear. Yet, but a moment Is all time needs to snuff it out; A simple second To tear, and rip, and take. Gone In a fleeting instant, escaped; To grace another's lips To dwell in another place. Please treasure this gift Revel in its particular joys; Love, smile, laugh Take time to enjoy every Fragile Breath. I'm feeling a little raw and on edge today. One of the artists I manage has recently had his family over to help celebrate the start of a great year, the times apart, which have brought such big things Rob's way. His dream brought him to the UK, and I have had the pleasure of working with him, developing and growing and molding his music career. To see them all together, so happy, so proud, so much a loving and special family unit, was heart warming, comforting, a special moment. But life, in its wonderful way, has its own plan. And while today I really don't understand its method, or its madness, I must try to accept that in everything that happens, there is some reason that simple me cannot see or comprehend. You see, one of the challenges of living in Africa is an illness known as Malaria. Treatable, there is medication that when you live in Africa, you pretty much take all the time if you live in an area of potential hazard. In this instance, Rob's mom ran out of her tablets while over here. She chose to remain quite, and risk the time they had together, till she could get home and get more tablets. The problem being, that here in the UK, we don't readily have available the powerful drugs used in Africa to control the illness. Why would we? As long as you follow the instruction of your GP and take the medication prescribed, as directed, when you make plans to visit Africa, you will invariably remain fine. Not so if you should stop taking the medication, for but an instant, while the infection may be in your blood stream, and this was the case in this instance. In a matter of days, a strong, proud, smiling, wonderful woman was stolen, snatched from her family. So quickly no one had a chance to realise the danger. So decisively there was little anyone could have done. Gone. In an instant. And now we deal with the aftermath. The effects of such a sudden and dramatic loss. Guilt. Blame. Shame. It is all there. Written in the eyes of people I respect and admire. I cannot touch them, fix it, change anything. I am helpless to do anything, and hell it hurts. It hurts as I know that a time similar to this, under different circumstances maybe, but just as final, tragic and gut wrenching waits just around the corner somewhere in my own life, and I feel vulnerable. Exposed, and weak. I watch from a distance. There to lend a hand if needed, yet accepting that I am nothing at this time, unable to alter the course of life in anyway, might I so wish I could. Life is complex. It is woven with good times, interlaced with heartbreak and sadness. Finding the balance is the art we strive to discover as we play out our lives. I don't think we will ever fully understand why this roller coaster ride we are on exists, or why it can be so wildly changing, emotionally charged, or final. When it is good, it is dam good, but hell when it is bad, it is horrible. Life is special, and it reminds me every day that it is finite, fragile and precious. Treasure what moments it gives you, and try if you can to spend as many moments happy. There is nothing to be gained in sadness, loneliness or despair. Die having done all you could do on that list of things you've always wanted to do. Live every day as if tomorrow is a word we've never heard, and this breath you've taken, is the the most special you have ever breathed. Sound strange and unreal? Yup, it does even to me. But somehow, in all the chaos and sadness I feel right now, I am desperately seeking a silver lining? Is that wrong? Hell, there has got to be hope, because without it, things suck. A hug would be really good about now. I am going to close this down now while I can still see the screen and go get some comfort from an embrace with my mom. Love to you all, and I really hope your week, day, month is shaping up to be a good one. Ps. I can't be arsed to think about a quote for today's blog. Forgive me, I'll choose something extra special for the next one.

Ok wow I didn't see that one coming. Clever little quirk in the story there. Credit for creating Mellie with the strength to shoulder that disappointment with such good grace. I do wonder if it might have some effect further down the road though. The dynamic of the whole friendship triangle has changed now, maybe for the better, but just as easily for the worse. Life's uncertainties make the choices we make potential pit falls without even realising we've stepped on uneven ground.