Cannd

how freakin' scary. I wanna smack this kid b/c he finally thinks that it's wierd to give a kid 3G to do nothing and that he was told kids disappeared. Hmmm...don't think of that when greg is warning you to walk away. DUH! It's fucked up that they are doing this. I wonder what the hell they want. And where is poor Rex? Why give him food after starving him? You are succeeding in making it freaky. I guess he won't get another chance to just do the work lol. What the hell do they want? Sad greg wasn't a bit more persuasive on that road. But, the kid was set on going. I hope we figure out what they want in the next chapter. I am wondering if the other kids went crazy by the point he was at? did they last till whatever the freak carried out his plans or did they just break from the mental torture? Hope to see more soon!

I love this story. I do want to know more about the caretaker and what is this circle of sacred stones? Certainly can't wait to see what Chris will do now. Clearly he is interested in him despite turning him down. did he turn him down b/c he didn't know about his world? Funny cast.

I really like this set of characters. I'm wanting to see what happens when Ethan and Devin meet. Maybe there will be sparks there. I'm still curious what will happen if Jason is promised to Ethan and Jason and billy want to be together. Did Nick know that he was as powerful as that? Is there a reason why he went from having trouble keeping them invisible to bringing the demon back? Maybe it was b/c he was passionate about what he did for Devin? It coulda been argued that Devin got himself into that situation by giving himself over to a demon of all things. He clearly knows the rules of magic and magical beings. He must have known he wasn't going to be cuddled and loved by the demon. I loved Billy's line 'Here is your asshole back' lol I loved how hypocritical Balthizar was. You should be put in chains for killing a demon and yet then he was too powerful to be kept alive! So killing was suddenly okay? I look forward to more of Billy's antics. I like how he's a total bad boy wanting to break in to places and steal stuff, but he's gonna stand up to something truly bad. It was an interesting dynamic he showed. How will the rein Billy in? Will Jason be able to help keep him in line or will he be egging him on and aiding and abetting his criminal activities lol. Please let Ethan and the dragon get along. Maybe the dragon is fine with him not being sexually active b/c he's probably had enough sex to last him a while. great stories. I would try to put these into one story though with new chapters as opposed to separate stories which will be hard for readers who find your stuff later to know what order the stories go in. Unless you make them all part of a certain series and number them.

I like this alot. I like the depth of all your characters. Look forward to getting to know Beck. I am hoping that he will take a dog and maybe ask for one for Kinney? I love Kinney as a character and hope we see more of him. How old is he? What is his story? I wonder how much of his help would be rebuffed due to pride and such? The whole story K spun in the beginning and then declared he'd be a writer was hilarious.

I hope that Dave can learn to talk about his feelings a bit earlier. He clearly let this build up over several days nd got more upset as he turned down phone calls. I am glad Reece was able to get through and communicate with him. He was able to explain that it wasn't about Dave. At the same time he could see where Dave was coming from. Dave does have to watch that he doesn't keep trying to compare Reece to the ex to make sure he's not the same. That could damage them. Communication is so important in a relationship. It's very sad that people can so ignorant. It's is sad that a parent wouldn't love their child unconditionally. even if that child were gay and you don't agree with being gay, isn't their being your child enough to overcome that? I can't imagine wanting to cut ties with a child for any reason. Even if you don't agree with everything, don't you still love them? I feel badly for Reece b/c though he may know intellectually that he is better off, he on some level has to wish he had parents who were more well adjusted. It is going to hurt and it may be hard to see Dave being accepted by his parents. I think that bbq might be emotional for him. I hope Dave's family can eventually become family to Reece too. I'd love to see what some of his cousins will say to the parents about staying away so they don't become corrupted. lol. Does it hurt to be so ignorant? It's hard not to feel anger and hate for people like that. But you don't want to answer their hate with hate.

Keeps getting better. I'd have liked to see Simon's reaction to his talk to the hand move Simon was doubting to a degree and also resentful that his brother wasn't the third soul. But, I'd think that it would be a comfort to him to see something of his brother in Noel. My question is, if it's thanksgiving and his birthday is on christmas...is he going to be 19? I thought it says he can't be told till 18. so, did they wait this long past his being 18 to tell him with Diarmad getting worse or did they break the rule and tell him early? That would be quite the head trick to be told there are these other two souls in you. I think I'd really want to understand more about that too. It would lead him to feel like 'what is me?' What part is his 'third' soul. Damn, you'd feel like you have different personalities with the way it's being described. But when he said 'so when I helped people it was the servant' is that true when that soul is 'just waking.' Will Diarmad be in love with Noel's soul since he wasn't like that with the other two? Or will his fondness for him be largely attached to these two souls he must have cared for deeply being a part of him? I wonder too, is there more to Noel b/c his grandmother was one of the order with these abilities? I assume she was his blood grandmother? Diarmad clearly doesn't want him to have to be forced into this. It is really sweet to me. What was up with Moira? why did she seem to have such an attitude? It didn't come across as protective or even caring of Diarmad. There was something in her that didn't seem right. I can't wait to see them get to know one another. How would the age/experience differences affect them? what would they have in common? At the same time, Diarmad would have to be an extremely interesting person. I'm excited to read more.

I think Dave is being a bit unfair. He knows that this is bigger than him. He knows that his parents rejected him in their actions. I don't think he's hiding Dave as much as not wanting to deal with his parents. I would think from the first night and the things he's been told that Dave would get that they weren't going to be opening their armms to their son and his boyfriend. That said, I'd understand if Dave was worried or it was tripping that switch that the last guy did. But, he could have asked the reason why he hadn't told his parents and asked him if he planned to. He could have given him a chance to make it right. It drives me crazy when people just walk away like Dave did. He had to be chase down for a reason he was acting wierd and then when he tells him the problem he just walks off again. That isn't good communication for a relationship. I hope that doesn't put their relationship at risk. We'll see.

Wow, you took us through so many emotions b/c of the engagement and happiness and then this sudden cheating thing. I think that Ryan is a sad person b/c when you go do the on/off again thing for years, there has to be a reason why it keeps going off. And usually it's on again when a new guy comes into the pic. Levon is predictable. He wants what he couldn't have. He left Ryan alone for two years b/c he wasn't with anyone. He gave up and lost a good thing and he'll end up alone again. I thought it was scummy of ryan to say 'we're gonna get married.' That was an unnecessary detail that must have been a knife in Sim's heart. I'll never get why people don't leave someone before they cheat. Could he say he loved Sim for real to hurt him that way. Wouldn't it have been more fair to break it off first? But, he's pretty much an addict where levon is concerned and I guess wanted his fix. I am not in favor of Sim making a major life decision right now. I pray he doesn't decide to marry one of the guys right now. he isn't in a place for that. He has to heal. The guys need to back off, let him heal and then see if it works out. I worry that like Ryan, he's repeating something. There must have been a reason why he didn't feel he belonged with them anymore. I don't want to see him get hurt again. I have to wonder if we've seen the last of Ryan. I'm interested to see where you go with this.

the boys continue to be too cute, too fun and sexy together. i'm only missing the intimacy between them....it seems the cuddling and sleeping together is already over! I think felix should be going to cooking school. you know, if i were mink, i'd rather be in jail when the child broker gets cuffed, well we can hope can't we! glad to see Eugene doing well.

I loved this one from the beginning. I think it's your best so far. I liked the ending b/c Vlad died at Dimitri's hand and I liked that Lucian was such an embattled soul and it came out big time in the last moments. he was good in some ways like dating Dimi so he didn't go to sasha when getting in the mob and for working with them in the end, yet, he was ready to shoot dimitri to get what he wanted. He's a great character. Ilia seems to be his conscience so it's good he's with him. I am surprised Vlad even had the antidote at all. She's such a bitch. It was good she knew she'd been had for once before she got her head blown off. I was a bit scared when Dimitri waited for the police. I only wondered who was left for him to give the names of? He didn't get too far in the organization and they killed off most of those people that night. What could he offer and how would he explain those deaths. I'd have said at least that Raphael took Dimitri's gun or it'd be damning evidence that he killed some of them along with Vlad. Overall, it was nicely done. I am wondering why Raphael had to leave? I know he had his organization but would he have been brought into the investigation at all? It was emotional when Dimitri was there when Talin woke up but it sounded like goodbye and poor talin couldn't really even ask anything. that would have been terrible for both of them. It was a sweet ending with them being together and getting to live by the lake. I look forward to more of your work and the rest of the other story that you were working on too. Thanks for a great ending.

Poor kid, finding out his nana died protecting him. But, how then was he allowed to travel on a bus by himself with God knows who? Doesn't seem so safe to me. And Ronan is a really rough bodyguard huh! That all said, I am surprised they doubt who Noel is, b/c it seems Guerin would know wouldn't he? He's clearly banked on it being Noel for 17 years. Quite the head trip for this kid. I can't wait to learn more about this race! I can understand how Simon would feel if his brother was one of the souls of the King who had to die so that his and another soul could live in a third person. His wish that his brother was the 'strongest' so he could have him live. Would be hard. But, I would think he'd feel some warmth later if he knew his brother's soul was in Noel. How old is Guerin? Will they bond and come to love each other? I look forward to getting to know this world. Seems interesting and different than the more typical werewolves or vampires. What abilities will they have? What threats are out there? Are they others of the same species? More!

It's nice to see them developing into something. It has only been a little over a week and they seem so comfortable with one another. Looking forward to more of them. I laughed at Mink saying he knew Dorian wasn't gay. lol Mink was a likable criminal. Has some scruples, at least a few it seems.

Clearly that principal doesn't like Stefan. He could know Ackerman's father or something as equally stupid. He could just be a homophobe but he'd like Stefan to be nailed to the wall it seems. The detective should be better at looking a bit deeper for signs and I think his run down of getting evidence together so they can get a grand jury together tells me he does agree this kid did it. He doesn't seem to good at his job if he can't see signs of abuse (though he probably sees it as signs of a fight when he killed his dad). I'd love to know how the father was killed and see if the waif of a kid could have actually done it. We can wish people were here for kids like stefan, but sometimes it's easier to go after the weak. stefan sure did luck out with the smoke bombs. I wish he'd have shown the detective his wounds b/c by the time he could be captured down the road there would be no proof of it. Though there should be his blood and vomit in the basement. Why would he think the system would start helping him now. I can't blame him for running. I hope he finds his way away from here and moreso that he doesn't run into more men like his father and uncle charlie on the way. This kid is so ill-equipped to run away and survive. I'm pretty worried for him. I think you've been really successful in making us want to strangle the adults he has come into contact with. Please find some kind people to help the kid!

I'm gonna join the ryan train! lol. He's so yummy (the skin color thing can be a turn on so i'm with Ryan on that one). But for me it's even more attractive that he's caring and seems to want him to be okay with what they do. He doesn't want to make Sim regret this. I don't get the player feeling and if he is, he's good at it. Then again, sometimes guys know someone is looking for love and can take advantage of that. I just think he gave him enough outs despite being an in-charge guy. I agree with the rest that they could have something special. I hope they take the time to develop it. And kudos to Jack! That is a true friend and he was smart about having him call an hour in. Taking off with someone can definitely be dangerous, no matter the sex of the couple. Can't wait for more!!!

Wow! Intense. sadly his reasoning skills awakened way to late. Doesn't a question about whether anyone is gonna miss him sound a warning? I'm kinda surprised he took the money. Up till now he seemed to have a code. Max has to be supernatural given it almost seemed as if he went through the kid's thoughts. That much electricity wouldn't kill you? What will they do to him? It's Greg's warning that worries me most. He'll last a bit longer but they all break? You have me super intrigued and really excited for more.

I'm intrigued by the characters. I think you do well developing them as you go. One thing I think should have been different was the ransition. I was expecting you to tell us what happened when Marcus led him back. even if you just said that he was too shy to talk to Marcus but looked at him, maybe describe him. It was just strange to go to the next chapter and have it drop off where it did in ch1. Then in alot of spots in Daniel's (the main character--might have name wrong) thoughts, it is a bit hard to follow. It is very convoluted and his tangents have tangents. I think there is a bit too much detail to unimportant things. I don't know if this is supposed to be part of his characterization but maybe a bit less of it would make the story easier to read. We still know nothing about some important things like what happened that led his sister to have to take over custody? He is out to his sister, but was he out with his friends at his last home? I hope to learn some more about him and see him be a bit less shy with Marcus so we learn something about him. How old is Marcus?

Great to see something new from you for the briefers. This looks good. I like the dry humor of Hudson. sounds like Chris can't be too secure if he's holding that against Hudson to the point he has to be that rude even across a room! Also seems to be an interesting and scary case to be solved in that town and on campus. A bunch of drunken party-goers is perfect fodder for a murderer.

I think you are making him sound really stupid and someone with reasoning skills to think of using the washing machine for water would not make these mistakes. You're saying that he knows his father will kill him if he is found and yet he will stop to take a freakin' shower? Holding on to the wish his father comes home is his tactic? He is clearly in need of counseling for the beliefs he deserves this stuff. He might be hungry enough to go in for food, but taking a shower and sitting down to write? It just sounds too stupid a choice for him to make with basic reasoning skills. I know he may believe dad will find him if he tries to escape and that fear may have stopped him from leaving but if he is brave enough to find that exit and he knows how wounded he is and he knows his father will kill him, then he'd try to get away and not go inside the house to shower and get some soup. He might risk the journal which is stupid in and of itself but that has been his outlet and he wants it to be a record. but he has a chance to not wait for it to be found with his body, though dad wouldn't leave it there and he's not taking it? Dad will know the second he gets in that things aren' how he left it and he will look for him and the kid has to be as far as possible and in someone's home waiting for police if they can convince him to try. I believe he'd know this. So my issue with this chapter is that it makes him sound like an idiot who wants to die. it doesn't follow the characterization you made so far. There are issues mentally that may affect his decisions like the belief he deserves it and his not believing in adults after what mom and the principal did for him (though dad might have killed mom) so that might affect him not going to a house for help from someone. But he'd get away from the house and his father at this point even if he hadn't before. He sees his father was willing to leave him without water food, is raping him with objects and is clearly saying he's a drain on him. I can only hope the kid doesn't think he deserves all this. Please keep with the relatively strong character who has survived it all so far and is smart and creative as a thinker and who hopefully wants to live now that he sees a chance. finding a way out like he did shows he does.

I only would have liked to see some (tough when they are how old?) snapshots from E and J's lives together, like their meeting and their first success together in these creations, maybe when they meet their creation, Two. I'd like to have an idea about who they are today but also why they are that way and something about their relationship and how it started and developed. Your description led me to believe it would be the story of their meeting and the work they did together. That all said (sorry) I love the start. it's a very imaginative SF story. I love the times when SF makes you say 'wow! wouldn't it be cool if that really was possible or existed.' I am looking forward to getting to know these characters better and going along for their next adventure.

I am so confused. What is it that happened to Sabrina. She is saying she can't have the corrective surgery...but why? And what was done to her? snowflake says she doesn't top, implying she has the physical ability to? I can imagine that if she loved Snowflake watching him with Brian would suck. It'd be nice of Snowflake and Brian keep the PDA's to a minimum in public spots, but then it seems some of the spots they think they are alone in are being violated by her. I feel badly that she is resorting to drugs. It's an illness that never goes away and now that she is less happy she sadly went right back to it. i wish jimmy could help her through some of this, but he can't make better decisions for her. I am surprised Brian came out with the love thing as quickly as he did. I'm even more surprised Snowflake is willing to be with him in the off season. Sadly, I don't think he knows what he's getting into. When will he see Brian? He's gonna be busy 20 hours a day and probably grabbing sleep at the hospital. He won't be home with him. He needs to tell Snowflake that or bitterness will kill what they have.

So sad that he couldn't speak up and tell the principal but he's so used to not talking back he couldn't. It's horrible. Now he's in the basement chained up! Jeez. And I'm sure that jerkoff principal won't look into it when he doesn't show up for school huh!

Could you put it out on a different day? Wednesday briefs come out and you have to wait all week for a new chapter. it'd be nice to have a story to read on another day of the week and look forward to it. This kid is freakin slow. It annoyed me, frankly. He heard rumors that kids who went before him were never seen again. He gets that welcome at the diner. Then Greg is clearly upset and tells him to just leave, it isn't necessary for this to happen...DUH wouldn't fear for him connect to those kids not coming home? He seems a bit dense despite knowing how to fight. Not to mention the butler with claw marks across his face. I understand he's homeless, but might reason tell him this seemed too good to be true and why not ask what he's doing for 3G first. God! Well, I'm excited to see where this goes but I definitely have to question the intelligence of Ryan

Very intriguing story! What a cast of characters so far! I only chuckled at Landyn saying the name Diamahr (was that it?) and him not connecting it to the person by that name that he met. How many Diahmar's are there around. lol I only hope we can maybe get slightly longer chapters if you're only posting weekly. I read the prologue and ch. 1 together and I think that would make a good amount. shorter and I don't think you could take the story very far...something that makes the wednesday briefs frustrating in many cases. The story barely moves forward and you have to wait another week to feed the obsession Did Diamahr fall on his ass when the person who saw him falling was thrown across the room? Wow, he must feel like he entered the twilight zone with all the wierd conversations and what was just done to him! I'd be annoyed...once I woke up. Jeez! Why don't the others know he's met Diahmar so they wouldn't think he's a killer? lol

Shouldn't they tell people what to do if they see one of these things and can't walk away and report it? can you kill it? Will they arm people just in case? Having this start right at the beginning...the first day at the outpost is a challenge b/c you'd want to list the steps they'd take. They'd probably ask everyone (adults) what they did for a living so they could help with things. They'd have to know names of everyone and ages so a sign in process would be necessary. Maybe they did that after the shower. I thought it crazy that they have people meet the convoys. Didn't that defeat the purpose of checking them over?? If one was infected you have them getting access to those who are safe. YOur descriptions of the looks on people's faces who had been through such trauma was really good. Describing the woman with the red blanket made you imagine dealing with that. I hope they might find someone among the survivors to talk to people. Grief counselors or someone who could at least listen to people would help. The guy shoulda told people not to go looking for places they could get in and to only tell them. There would be alot to convey to a group. how scary to think those things could get in somewhere. You'd not feel very safe. And how could a place hold out indefinitely. I wonder if governments have a plan for this stuff lol

First, I would recommend you get an editor. I find it a bit hard to read in certain spots and there are several simple spelling errors and stuff. I'm not trying to be mean at all. The best writers have editors and beta readers and sometimes more than one of each. I find Josh to be a frustrating character. he's trying to put this all on Cory, but it seems that Cory tried to discuss things when he didn't. Then he's angry that Cory isn't considering his feelings. Well, he can't consider what was never said. He isn't a mind reader. I'm not saying Cory is blameless. There isn't enough of their time together in the story to judge that. I do see that Cory seems to have the issue of wanting the hetero lifestyle. But, Josh implied he did too the day Cory asked about them and he said, 'sure go ask her out.' He gave his blessing so can he be angry that Cory went with it and he ended up with the girl? I'm also a bit confused that he came in, interupted the wedding and acted like an ass and stormed out and then they come home and nothing is said by the couple about it? Tina should have addressed it in front of everyone or better asked her husband to address it. cory comes in like the event didn't happen. It was strange. Josh should have possibly apologized for his behavior. Tina is too nice if she was only going to say something behind closed doors. I hope she asked her husband about what happened and why. Josh likes to do things publicly that affect Cory, like saying what he did about what he wants which would have probably made the most clueless person ask questions. Cory's reaction was over the top which would cause the same. Yet they couldn't discuss it when it was just them? What a pair.