Branflakes

Really very heartbreaking to find this out. So much love sent out to his family and loved ones. I just found out ... saw an email that slipped through the filters (telling me in Dec 2022!) that Mawgrim had messaged me back regarding his help on my story and asked if I would help him in return with some edits. I regret that I wasn't able to help him. But I know he is in a better place now and hope he went peacefully and softly. ❤️

A bit late to the party—but I'll weigh in anyway. 😚 Growing up, and in school, said was always considered over-used and boring. Teachers would also then tell us to steer away from making the mistake of trying to replace said with something that usually was out of place or disrupted the flow of a dialogue. I remember being told by my grade 11 English teacher, 'If your reader has to go find a dictionary to look up the meaning of what you're trying to convey then it's a not going to be useful to you." On the contrary, a peer of mine in college that often paired off with me to editing of each other's stories and such once said this to me and it made me think. "You often just say things like said, said, said. Are they just monotone when they speak? Breathe some life into the conversation! Don't let your characters become flat." So my advice is to do whatever you feel is most comfortable. Using said can be a great way to get through dialogue quickly when there is no need to be flowery. But every now and then surprise them! Give them some salt and pepper and throw a flowery word in there. I feel as if when I do dialogue if I first use said and then read it later and try to pick up on the nuanced emotions that I want to convey, but it feels lackluster, you gotta break out that bouquet and give those scenes some TLC. Even if you don't replace the word said, throw in a spicy adjective. "She spoke to him tenderly, he said with exasperation." Bottom line: you do you! Make it your own. 💗 Edit: cute little faces heehee

Great start to a story. The characters interactions felt so real and relaxed, not forced toward some end-point. I like (as everyone has been saying) the subtlety of your story. It's nice to be reading and be surprised and not--as we all have a habit of doing--knowing, or anticipating what will happen. It is nice and refreshing, the setting is described well. And i like the little details thrown in there, they make it more real. Looking forward to reading much more.

If you like slower games, Harvest Moon: Save the Homeland or A Wonderful Life are pretty good. Raise animals, fall in love, etc. Pretty decent. Kingdom Hearts is a good series, pretty easy to get into the storyline. Radiata stories is a pretty good RPG-type game if you like knights and castles. If you like JRPGs, Tales of the Abyss is really good.

Lol, prepare for a long list. -Tales of ... Series (specifically Symphonia) -Final Fantasy (Tactics Advance, X, X-2, XIII, XIII-2) -Digimon (loved Rumble Arena 2, and I had about 3 Digivices) -Kingdom Hearts (I haven't played 358/2, coded or DDD yet) < #3 fave -Pokemon (All of them.. totally want to get Pokemon X) -Civilization (Loved 2 and jumped to 5.) - Chrono Trigger / Chrono Cross < #1 fave -Yu-Gi-Oh! (The GBA and the PSX versions) -Harvest Moon (I have the PSX one, the GBA ones, AWL, AnWL, MM, RF(2), SI, and just bought A New Beginning! < #2 fave -The Sims -Naruto (GCN games) -Dragon Ball Z -Legend of Zelda -Donkey Kong -Super Mario

I remember watching Resident Evil a while back. They are okay movies (I haven't played the games) but to me, it didn't seem like there was much to be confused about. What I mean for example is in Super Mario Bros., the story was completely wacky! A good movie, but had I not been a gamer and knew the storyline from the game, I would have been so lost because they missed explaining SO much. Another movie from a game (again, haven't played the games) was Silent Hill. A bit of a mind bender to me, but it was alright. Lastly, the best movie I have seen was Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. A lot of people give this movie crap because it had no meaning towards the games and hardly any "real" FF storyline. (AKA no real magic so to speak, and a lot of key elements that FF has in their games). Truth be told if they had knocked the "Final Fantasy" off of the title, it would have been fine as a stand-alone film.

I really liked your story! To be honest, I haven't read any of your other work. (Once I got to this part I realized you had other material!) But I'm really impressed. I loved the depth of your characters, and how real they felt. The descriptions you give are bang on, and it's like I'm in the moment with them observing and feeling what they feel. Very well done, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff!

Wow, Ashi! I really liked this. When I started reading it I wasn't sure what to think. I picked up that there wasn't really a gender set, and I liked that. It could totally go both ways. Love your writing style and the flow of the story. Loved all of the little allusions and metaphors that you threw in there with light and dark, old and new, right and wrong, lust and love. And of course, I loved the raw emotion mixed in. This story speaks out in a good way; not all relationships turn out how you expect them to. It also is a nice poke to break the mold... in the sense that gay or straight, relationships are all the same. It's subtle and striking. I really enjoyed how you took your time to show us glimpses of the characters thoughts and emotions, some background to their lives and what concerns them. It made them come alive. I think what I liked the best was the was that you showed us how they felt, how they reacted, and not telling us. It connected to me in a very personal way, and I liked that. It's a different perspective to look through and I thought it was very well done. Looking forward to reading more of your material!

Haha, yes for me it's the end of April. I'm very glad to hear you think my story is that good! I'll be sure to let you know when I update. I've also got some other stories in progress. Hold on just a bit longer!

Wow! I didn't even see that you had posted here. Soon as i can Lisa. Just having someone look over a bit of work . Once I get all of the little kinks sorted out I'll be posting it up. I hope to get more regular as the school year comes to an end.

A very good tip to have up. I'm hope many take the time to read this, it's invaluable information. As Andy said, it's well written and easy to understand.

Wow, I forget to check GA for one day and look what happens! I'm really honoured to have been featured in a post. Thank you!

I usually use Word 2010, but sometimes when I feel like an "adventure" I'll boot up Linux and use LibreOffice. Other than that, I use a program called Dark Room when I really want to be distraction free.

Haha, no, not yet. I never actually went to buy it. I figured I'd wait for the PS3 release. From your pic though it looks so much fun! I would love to be able to customize my character to look so cool