knotme

Gripping start. Grammatical mistakes were only minor speed bumps. Next comes the hard part: fleshing out at least the main characters convincingly. Can you turn Phillip from a comic-book superhero into a human being? Or maybe you're going in a different direction. Depends what you mean by "Spartans".

This is my first time through this story. The link at the end of each chapter is not working for me, and so far I don't see a topic for this story in the author's forum, so I'll comment here. Echos of Circumnavigation (not saying which actually came first!): the makings of another epic gay (and lesbian this time) melodrama. The good guys are oh so good; the bad guys oh so bad. So what if Brandon does something out-of-character irresponsible? As long as he's shirtless, it's all good. Sex handled all to my liking. (If I want hard porn, there are better places than GA.) Interesting details span the gamut, from the decor of the Arizona Biltmore to the intricacies of fabricating a dirty atomic bomb. I like the various avenues opened by the 10-yr life span of the dirty bomb. At first I was struggling to see how our globe-trotting villains would arrive in Phoenix in time to blow up our heroes, but now we have 10 years to play with. Anything could happen. I'm intrigued by Shadow's proposal to climb a cliff. Of course it's reckless, but is it also perhaps to smoke out the gay wimps? I would suspect Shadow of something more nefarious, but we've got The Scar and Dimitri for that.

Oh, boy. What a great start to a novel or novella. So many ways to go. "Village of the Damned", maybe (be sure to rent the original film starring George Sanders; the remake is garbage). I got to thinking of one of my favorite short stories about an exceptional child: "It's a Good Life" by Jerome Bixby. The Twilight Zone's rendition creeped me out as a kid. So far, Loring does not resemble any of these children, and he may never, but he's probably got a ton of potential that Shawn may tease out of him. I particularly like the way "crown was worked in".

Derek is jealous! Derek is jealous! I think Derek wants Noah back, on Derek's terms of course. Derek probably demands that all interactions be on his terms, and he's not used to "No".

Miklas is so shart and motivated that I am disappointed in his unimaginative, low-tech choices of pain. Makes for a good story though. He certainly could use some help. Maybe from a wolf man with a degree in psychology?

unconventional: My expected struggle with "stream of consciousness" never came. Basil thinks quite clearly indeed, more than I certainly, but I suppose you needed to warn off the grammar police. :-) second person present: I'm inside with Basil, but I'm not Basil; or maybe I'm a different ego of Basil, much as when I talk to myself in second person, one actor to another on my stage of consciousness. limerence: an essential new word. Thank you! melodrama: Reading your reply on avoiding melodrama, I recalled other plots driven artificially by angst, fear, and pain. The dictionary definition differs, but maybe you are using the word as I do. Change and pain are essential to life. Rational actors welcome or at least accept both where they must, strive for beauty and pleasure where they can, and avoid raining down needless pain and suffering on all concerned. In "Footprints" I see an honest portrayal of rational actors. sanity: I took a break from your powerful story Imagine There's no Heaven, an honest portrayal of what I see as mass psychosis, to step away from needless pain and suffering. Compared to that, is sanity at issue here? Basil's carefully buffered stasis is in jeopardy, but is his sanity? sandcastle: If this pair, a 30-yr old seeking love and a 20-yr old wanting to learn, are building a sandcastle, that's OK. underlined italics: I suppose you did that because italics alone don't show up well in the sorry san serif fonts that afflict most on-line stories. I yearn for the day when enough computer screens can support Times New Roman that we can relegate san serif to headings and tables.

I like that MIck has enough to offer the pack that he's more than the usual human "sheep". It may have been stupid, but his instinctive confrontation of the bad guy will probably earn him browny points.

In Europe's medieval history as I understand it, the moral of this story would have fallen on deaf ears. Marriages were arranged. If partners didn't want sex, surrogates were found. "What does love have to do with it"? Given this environment, I blame both both Percivals: the old one for unimaginative stubbornness, and the younger one for waiting until the his actions resulted in certain war. I see no heroes in this story.

Thanks Myiege! Your answer came just in time. I got waylayed by Thanksgiving and the Anthology, but then Veil 3 showed up, no more time! Thanks again.

The author promised ups and downs. I cannot believe we've seen the final dip. Anyway, Rose to the rescue, as hinted earlier by the author, if I'm not mistaken, in responses to reviews.

I enjoyed reading, and I'm glad it's short. The characters couldn't take a second chapter of this! I note that the author intended this piece for the "Recipe for Disaster" anthology, which I just finished reading. This piece would have fit well, and to me, it's a foil for entries like "Half Jack" or "Invested", where good actions or good fortune turned tragedy into comedy. This story illustrates well how bad luck can turn decent ingredients into a disaster in the blink of an eye, regardless of recipe. Life isn't fair.

The theme is red meat for the writer, so I'm not surprised by the healthy response. "Only 12", but I enjoyed all. I happened upon "Half Jack" and reviewed it, oblivious to the anthology and its common theme. After reading "To Thine Own Self be True", I noted the anthology and decided to read all before reviewing any more. As a group, the stories teach me that one may be stuck with bad ingredients but perhaps can improve upon the recipe, with a bit of luck, an ingredient completely lacking in several entries.

Beautifully done! Setting a right, true emotional tone surrounding gender identity is tricky. The short-story format is perfect for this tale. It forces you to get to the point efficiently, with less chance to run off the rails. I see good, intelligent people trying their best and doing pretty well. That shouldn't be a surprise, but getting that across without skirting the main issues requires a deft touch. Personally, I don't look forward to the day when gender is "insignificant". Better to struggle than to see or feel nothing.

I agree with Thorne and nostalgic, the guy was stalking. Nice to see the self-serving blather of the narrator pushed aside. I didn't see it coming either, perhaps because so many stories portray such behavior as romantic.

There are times I can recall when I wish this had happened to me, to save me from myself.

My favorite chapter so far. Maybe Arcana can do at least some of their jobs merely by being. Matt's existence facilitates creative foolishness? Death's existence allows death? Matt, the oldest, is only 12000 years, so Time and Sun's children must have repeatedly abandoned their parents over the span of human existence. Can Time or Sun similarly bug out when they're too bored to continue? I suspect not. What a gulf between parent and child!

I see bits of the old TV series The Immortals as Matt switches autos with his mood and tries to act human, but a lot of the premise is new to me. Nice! I hope this interesting, off beat story continues for a while. There's so much ground to cover. Almost eighteen thousand words so far, and I don't think we've seen Matt at work as Fool. His reason for being remains theoretical. We don't yet know these Arcana, but their existences seem to be no bowls of cherries. I find the italicized part of this quote ominous: "If there was a God it was Time, and as Matt’s father, he knew better than most not to question Time’s involvement in matters. His father interacted with very few people in the world, and even less with members of the Arcana, and when he did, it was for a reason." BTW, the bolded phrase seems backwards to me.

A favorite chapter, showing a relationship maturing and enriching (instinct and trust clumped ). Paddy had for weeks showered Troy with gentleness and calm. Now calm floods back to Paddy. I feel for Nic, Peter Principle personified, wheels turning oh so slowly. Alexia's fulmination could have turned Betty Friedan in her grave, had she bothered to listen.

The four story lines hooked me; I anticipate their intersections. The illegal C-S expedition: ??? Earth: Fortunately Konstatin is tough and resilient. Damn. The dagenith of Otsin got me thinking about Earth societies with a strong oral tradition. Some of the chants and songs are formal rituals: questions are not expected; answers not forthcoming. Mikom's response goes well beyond that. Yugan dreams and then questions. She seems to feel the need to tread very carefully. Finally, back on Lucere, the arbiters remain important, and I hadn't paid them enough attention. More in the forum.

Questions about arbiters for any fellow readers who might want to weigh in. (Stellar, please abstain for now. I'd rather find out for myself before asking you to explain redundantly.) I had not paid enought attention to arbiters in Book 1, leaving my holes in my understanding. How are arbiters related to the Sharpe's virus? For example, did one begat the other? How are arbiters related to a sharpeling? Would any of these common Earth analogies work?: owner to slave, manager to worker, parent to child, god to subject, creater to embodiment of the creation? I'll return to Book 1 and try to find out, because it looks like arbiters will remain important to the action.

People can surely make a complicated mess of things! The old tree is patient.

I'm thankful for the bumper crop of fine reading that helped me manage Thanksgiving week. Every year, no matter how many organic veggies and eggs we harvest, we could sell twice that many this week, at the local market (down the hill) Tuesday afternoon and a regional market (14 miles away) Wednesday morning. This year I hosted the farm's Thanksgiving meal for, as it turned out, 13 adults and 5 kids. Rather than prioritize scarce free time, I fell back on a tried and true management technique: play piano, read stories, procrastinate until options fall away, leaving focused desperation. Once again, I got away with it. Thanks, GA!

I'm feeling much better. In so many stories where someone is feared to be suicidal, they really are.

First snowfall triggers a jumble of thoughts, feelings, memories and memories of memories, tangled and multiply connected through shared elements. Besides the snow itself, my favorites are the beanie, first generous and comforting, now barely better than nothing; and the different emotions in different places attached to parched lips and bitter cold. The structure is nearly perfect, with hints for the reader but without a clutter of signposts and tags. Language is simple and spare, images clear and sharp. Ambiguities feel comfortable and right. Why should I know the thoughts of another better than I know my own? The bitterest, most painful memory outshines the others. Through a mist of time and healing, it casts a melancholy glare, mixed with the gentle regret of childhood lost. Yet this sombre, beautiful peace leaves me hopeful. Love is not always unrequited.

Yeah, it does seem to be in bad taste somehow.