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Ron

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Everything posted by Ron

  1. I've been lazing in bed answering greetings after a late morning start. Now I am in need of a big mug of coffee. That's what you do, right, pamper yourself on your day? I've dinner out with friends tonight and that should be fun, otherwise my day is to myself, and whatever I feel like doing. Not bad for a Tuesday. Thanks a bunch to you all for the birthday greetings!
  2. Ron

    Chapter 8

    That was very nice imagery with the random bits forming a hand on the screen and with the sprinklers going off as tears. But, really, mobsters entering through the kitchen . . . How cliché.
  3. I think, the rarity of the 'silencing' having been performed in the past, and that so few have been a part of one, gives us much information about its solemn nature and the importance that is put on the decision to perform one. That came across well. I believe, too, that without dwelling on the subject--and perhaps spending unnecessary effort--you've made clear that being captured and made to work for the government is no walk in the park for those captured . . . witness: the JJ twins. All in, this was a well developed chapter: The ship pauses on its journey; A sad, and arguably necessary event happens; The characters are affected; The story progresses. Very nice.
  4. Ron

    Chapter 5

    Everything seems to have gone higgledy piggledy.
  5. When writing, what aspect of it do you find being the easiest for you? What is the hardest?
  6. Ron

    Chapter 2

    This is very inventive, Dark. It's . . . catchy!
  7. You've offered a very convincing depiction of a school day morning, Wayne. I like it.
  8. Ron

    Prompt 355

    I was waiting to read your prompt but it took a long time to shuffle through the queue. Finally, I am able to read it. You show a great deal of imagination in your story and should be applauded for it. On the other hand, it lacks clarity. I get the gist of the story but it never really makes the connections that I believe you were striving for. Would another thousand words help? Perhaps, but sometimes more . . . is less. I suggest that in your future stories (there should be more from you) that part of the focus should be on making things clear to the reader--when you really want them to understand, that is. I find the prompts to be a good way to learn, a good chance to experiment with style, to practice, and an opportunity to entertain others at the same time. Good writing to you, Rook Lee.
  9. Ron

    Chapter 26

    This was a very enjoyable story, Topher. I enjoyed the characters, even Dickie--who was the real prat--and thought that you brought a real sense of life to them. The humor throughout the story was great fun.
  10. This song immediately popped into my head when I read the title of the thread! Of course . . . I was out dancing to it in the clubs in my twenties then. Edit: Sept '93 actually! So, I take back my age . . . It was early thirties. Yeah, I didn't give that up until late.
  11. Ron

    Chapter 14

    I'd forgotten about Dickie and Serena. I was shocked all over again.
  12. Happy Birthday Yettie!!!
  13. Ron

    Chapter 4

    The bar talk had me cracking up. The poor boy just seems so out of his element.
  14. Ron

    Chapter 1

    Because of forum interest in your writing I decided to check out your stories and I picked this one. At around four chapters in I realized that I'd read the story before, before I officially joined GA, and it made enough of an impression that bits and pieces began to come back to me. Enough so, Topher, that I have decided to read and enjoy this story again.
  15. Ron

    Chapter 15 (3.5)

    I loved those first two paragraphs. They really speak for the emotional bond that you've established for Marshal and Lee.
  16. Happy Birthday Steve! You Wildone, you!
  17. I found this to be interesting: http://writinghappiness.com/take-the-confusion-out-of-blog-writing-create-a-reader-profile/
  18. Ron

    Chapter 33

    There was an awful lot of information to take in but it sounded meaningful. I felt like my ship had sank and I was treading water while reading it though--and without a life vest. For a person who is not keen on war stories it was difficult to get through but I'm hoping I take enough away so as to not be out of the loop for the next chapter.
  19. Happy Birthday Celethiel.
  20. Congratulations on a fine achievement, Myr. I am appreciative of what you have accomplished with GA. Thanks!
  21. Happy Birthday Totally!!!
  22. Ron

    Prompt 354

    Does that mean Rudy doesn't have to take the Prozac?
  23. Ron

    Prompt 340

    I think your prompt got lost, Andy. The usual commentator group is late, including me--I just found the story. Only Valkyrie was on the spot prompt. That was quite a full stop ending to this Halloween treat. The mean old man setup was great and I liked the backstory for those mentioned early on in the story. Nice!
  24. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE! NOW LET'S PARTY
  25. Ron

    Memory Loss

    You can get a concussion, Sasha, without hitting your head. http://www.webmd.com/brain/tc/traumatic-brain-injury-concussion-overview Please take care of yourself.
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