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Ron

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Everything posted by Ron

  1. Ron

    Avalon 2005

    I think the prompts offer a good chance to let one's fingers run away, to take a chance on different styles, and to practice all of those wonderful things that writing can do. That had nice imaginative twist to it, Carlos. I liked it.
  2. Ron

    Chapter 14 (3.4)

    I'm not a big fan of serialized flash fiction normally. I read them, but I don't particularly like the format. I feel differently about this story, Julie. You're capturing a tone with these chapters that strikes a very nice balance of the mundane and humor, masculinity and affection, and with a little fun discipline thrown in for spice. I find it an excellent combination.
  3. Sounds like you were in need of a great new chapter in life and have begun it already. Good for you. Happy Birthday. Many happy returns!
  4. Gifted at sports, he left the others to eat dust. Shit, did I have to pick today to tell them?! Jamie guessed at which one topped; that's who he wanted.
  5. Two Frisbees in air at all times—tension is rising.
  6. No one else? Fine! This story has a dark side (no relation to the Sith) to it but there is much to relieve that aspect, too. I find the story to be more firmly placed among the fantasy genre than that of Sci-Fi, and Renee points out some very good qualities of the story: Damon and Kai love each other very much and that comes across without fail; family plays a big role, and to good effect. Like Renee, I think, this is a good read. And, it has the benefit of being a lead-in to Andrew's newest work - The Chosen. For those who enjoy Andrew Todd's writing, and specifically The Chosen, it's a must read. Anyone who enjoys fantasy, with a hint of Sci-Fi, will appreciate Empath's Kiss.
  7. Although Wayne's story intro for Body and Soul scares me a little, I'm going to dive right in at the top and work my way down. Big applause to Renee and those others who had a hand in bringing us this fall's anthology.
  8. Happy Birthday Conner!
  9. Hello, Dave. Welcome to GA.
  10. I've just finished reading Social Skills by Sara Alva from last weeks Premium Tuesday feature, and for the second time. It took me a few chapters to remember that I had already read the story. It's a good, decent read; better than some. Sure, you can't read these stories any other way on site except to purchase Premium Access . . . but perhaps it's best to look at that available writing as icing, on what is arguably, already a very nice cake . . . and Premium Access helps provide the support, or if you must . . . that nice cake stand to hold it all up. The Experiment by Cia is a darn good read full of love, compassion, drama, and military excess; not necessarily in that order. If Premium Access fits into your budget, you'll find yourself with a nice finger-swipe of frosting with this one.
  11. Ron

    Chapter 12

    It remains interesting!
  12. You've captured the passage of time and the depth of the loss well--even that of the mother hanging on to her grief. Great use of props: The hospital environment, the medical equipment, the crutches. All used to good effect to create atmosphere and add to the purpose of the visit. My Saturday may be a sadder, and a more contemplative one, but that means you've written well, Mann.
  13. Ron

    Prompt 353

    Unless Evan was a total flight risk throughout the ten years of the relationship, I imagine he must not have been happy with it to have trotted off like that. Jody clearly saw himself, and the relationship, as being abandoned--perhaps even saw himself as a victim. I think, you have captured Jody's self indulgent, self destructive behavior well. Providing him with a good friend, and a chance to escape feeling sorry for himself, was a relief for me.
  14. 1. Just how big was that glass of beer? 2. I would have chosen to leave if a barkeep gave me that ultimatum. 3. Screw--not literally--the guy who answered 'Yes' after tossing the beer. Whatever the question was. 4. It still ended up being entertaining.
  15. Ron

    Tanka No. 1

    One of the greatest transitions from cold to heat and humidity that I've ever experienced, was when traveling from Ohio in February, to Miami and Florida during a heat spell. When the sliding glass doors from the airport slid open, I felt like I walked into a wall of moisture. It was stunning. I don't wish a lack of a/c on anyone living down south. Thanks for reading, and the compliment, Percy.
  16. It was just posted today and already four of you have written stories!!! Ugh, I'm definitely having delusions of inferiority. I look forward to reading them all.
  17. Ron

    Doing the Tanka

    I dislike that time of year, I think it teases too much, and your poems--a tease for more. Which means you now have to get busy. Nice work.
  18. Ron

    Tanka

    "Oh no!" Indeed, that cracked me up. Thank you . . . that was fun. Love it!
  19. Ron

    Tanka No. 1

    Thanks for the compliment, Nostic.
  20. Firstly, I enjoyed the poem. Secondly, and maybe I'm just not recognizing it, where is the 'I' of the person I'm supposed to be connecting with? Maybe I'm being too technical about it. Dang it, poetry is not easy when there are rules. And, Irri is right, there is grace to the poem, Aditus.
  21. Ron

    Tanka No. 1

    We've been in the 80's and up recently and Godawful humidity--I thought it an appropriate subject to work with. Glad to see the comment, Aditus. Thank you.
  22. Ron

    Tanka No. 1

    Do, do, do, do-do, do-do, do the Tanka! Extra points if you recognize the tune, Jaro.Thank you for reviewing my little ditty.
  23. Ron

    Tanka No. 1

    The poem is about summer and air-conditioning. The middle (3rd) line is about missing a real breeze as opposed to the manufactured one of the first two lines and followed by two lines of wondering if fresh air is important enough for the cost of the second line. Blame my aversion to heat with humidity for this. Thank you for the compliment, Irri.
  24. Ron

    Tanka No. 1

    I think I captured the technical if not the purity of the thing. I am glad you enjoyed it, Valkyrie.
  25. Cool air against skin Beats sweat and miserable, And yet I miss air Could this be so substantial, Be worth the price of the heat.
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