Jason Rimbaud

Not forgotten, but my plans for things got seriously derailed when I finished Circumnavigation by CJames a few months ago. That story got me so frustrated I started my own nautical story, Beneath The Blue Deception. I have about forty chapters completed, first draft, and will continue to barrel through until the end. After that's finished, I won't go back to start editing until I finish Part Two of Tyler's Dilemma, which is 75% complete before I begin edits. So it depends if @Lee Wilson has time available to help me get the turd polished, look for Part Two in the coming months. As for Beneath The Blue Deception, probably at least a year away as it needs a lot of work to get ready for edits. Another way to look at this, it might just be all in Brandon's head, jealousy, anger, confusion, or Brandon could be worse then we even know yet. Dylan is going to be a catalyst for the final dilemma, so part two will be a bit darker, as the themes slowly start to reveal themselves. Don't forget, the first part was a prelude to the story, the first dilemma, Tyler accepting himself. We still have some questions that need answers and they might not be all fluffy bunny slippers. J

Oh sorry to hear about that. Another one of my friends had the same thing happen to him. And that was after they moved him across the country to Chicago two months ago. It's brutal out there. So I got distracted and wrote Gabriel's Gambit, 130K words that is ready to start editing. And I'm at around 80K for another story. I need to buckle down and get working on Tyler's Dilemma. That's kind of what I'm been focusing on today. Not enough hours in the day for me to do what I want to do. Tyler's Dilemma is about 70% finished. There is only going to be a part two.

Is that your way of saying I took too long?

Um, you have seen two. 😇. And edited two. The other two, well, I was having issues connecting the two parts and I was going to hit you up when they were finished.

Poor Dylan, it gets worse before it gets better, if it ever does. Sadly, he has a much bigger part to play in Part Two. Interlude was supposed to have two chapters, I think it's four now. J

Tyler Scott pulled up to a stop in front of the Jenkins house at exactly 7:30 am. After all, a promise was a promise. Though it was a bit of a surprise to see both Devin and Dylan standing there on the front porch. It was a chilly Sunday morning and they were going to pay Nana a visit. He had no idea what her given name was, everyone just called her Nana. She was ninety-three years old, barely over five feet tall, with limited mobility but still sharp as a tack. Nana had outliv

Even for someone who doesn't like, I meant hate baseball, I could follow along easily and a few times got swept away in the game. So I agree, well done indeed.

I have not read any other stories written by this author. There is a style here, a turn of phrasing that is intriguing. The premise, I've seen lots of reels depicting this very thing. So I find it timely. Having to have a husband before *insert reason* is a tired trope and I never have been a fan of Rom/Com's. But what got me to read this first chapter was the promise of it also being a thriller. So for now, I think I am all in. I love the voice and smart assery of the narrative. Well written characters for the most part, but you are going to have a difficult time turning around my opinion of Zayn, he's not aloof, he's an asshole. He's not misunderstood, as written, he's a butt monkey. Hard to redeem a character like that while making the turn believable. Not saying it can't be done, but it's difficult. But I'll jump in the backseat and see where you drive me. I like your style a lot. J

He's just a teenage dirtbag baby Listen to Iron Maiden

Truthfully, I have not read any of the other stories. And I would never subject myself after this one. I will say this premise is the best premise on this site, hands down, full stop. I absolutely love this premise. I know more about sailing, geography, than i did before I undertook this mammoth task. The issue is, I have no love of sailing. And I am a history lover and read extensively. For the last three years now, I have been studying World War II, from the Japanese viewpoint. So I love learning about history and filling my head with old facts. I think what struck me sideways about this story, it was go to an island, learn something about the local history, get back on the boat go to the next stop. Repeat, repeat, repeat, at the expense of narrative. Entire chunks of this story could be removed and the plot would not be affected. That's not a good thing.

I'm not sure where I last commented, maybe around Chapter 149, and for twenty chapters or so before had been some of the most boring, info dumping, tedious reads of my life. I have felt for some fifty chapters that this story had gone off the rails. In my view, the story ended back in Australia when the assassin was foiled and bridget nearly was taken out by rachel. That was the logical stopping point. Every comma after that point was nothing but filler. Then we get to the last seven chapters, and all the BS info dumps, annoying running jokes, tedious sailing descriptions, fell away. And we get a running battle of wits in a hurricane that rivals anything I ever read by a professional much less an amateur. For the first time since I started this story in January 2023 I felt I finally got to see the writers talent. And yes, the action was stretched to the breaking point but I eagerly scrolled down to get to the end. The only other time, the description when Trevor was boarded by pirates, I felt lived up to the praise this story receives. The harrowing run in the eye was heart pounding action that kept me wanting to read faster. Even when little details that annoy me crept up in the narrative, I just skipped over that part, as I was invested fully in how the hell are they going to get out of the eye. I'm sure I'll have more to say when I finally write my review, but I enjoyed the last seven chapters about as much one could enjoy a story. The ending of the story did not let down, as it did give a satisfying ending to Trevor's journey. I just wish it didn't have a majority of the stuff in the middle to go through to get that ending. So I am happy I finished this tale, it's been well over two years in the making and though I bitch about it, this story has inspired me to write my own story about a boat, a boy, and cartel. So this one can go in the record books, task completed.

Exposition is so tedious. I can't believe I have to endure this just to get to the end. Because this story is very much my white whale. It's been over two years since I started this story, luckily, I skipped so much of the BS of the last few chapters. Talk about someone not understanding that just because you did research doesn't mean you have to include it. Only nine more chapters to go...ARGH! I think i can, I hope I can, I don't think I can

And not in the good way. I’ve left a much more open and fun legacy. J (reformed slut).

What a perfect subject matter you chose for this prompt. And very well written with powerful imagery. As Ron said, the subject matter was defined in the first few paragraphs but even knowing where the how was brilliant. Very nice indeed.

The first layer, not using "I" is amazing exercise in writing. Then being drawn to a mysterious man, and the open ending, perfect. I loved it. Matter of fact I loved it so much, I sat down today and wrote a companion piece from the perspective of the stranger. I also used some of your dialogue in the first draft. Do I have your permission to pursue this idea and post it as my own exercise in not using "I"? If you want, I can send you the first draft for your approval since I did use your story as inspiration.

Gay boys and their straight boy crushes. Oh if only I would have one that ended such as this. Nope, first one went on for years, under the cover of night, I ended up being the best man in his wedding after he came over the night before he said I do, he was on his back with his legs in the air saying Oh yeah, harder. The second straight boy crush, that was another multi-year affair both on and off again. He's also married now with a kid. He just texted me out of the blue to say that after ten years of silience. Your story lacks all the BS some writers might fill necassary to include, it was friendship that carried the narrative. Maybe I should read it again because I didn't get the impression that the kids stopped hanging around after the accident. It seemed Cooper is the one that pulled back. I'm sure I'm misremembering. ANyway, I really enjoyed this tale, very nice short.

I thought I commented on this story, I guess I didn't. @CassieQ really took her time with this plot. What starts out as a small get together slowly turns into a deadly encounter with a budding serial killer. A killer who not only performs CPR on someone he knows is dead they just don't know it yet. You find out that our juvinelle Dexter has killed a cat, though professes to love animals, and now has his sights set on Oliver, the jilted lover of our recently deceased gold digger. The secret hits hard and is so in your face you actually kind of like our junior Ted Bundy. I really enjoyed the twistedness of this tale and much like someone said, it's twisted, I like it J

So I sprinted the last few chapters, I didn't even comment. But now we are at the end. The make-up scene, the dialogue, wow, makes me wish I wrote some of that. Just fucking brilliant. @Laura S. Fox thank you for putting up with me all these weeks. I was worried if you'd stick the landing, and for a moment I thought you jumped the shark. But then Nolan came on board and though the ending was a bit telling instead of showing, I thought it was just perfect. The boy without anyone ended up getting everyone. You could teach a course on dialogue, just perfect. J

It took some time but methinks both Jamie and Cottontail realized under the verbal fencing, the evasive truths, lies a connection they both feel but don't yet understand. And finally some drama, we're out of Jamie's house. I made the best decision stopping when I did, waiting for new chapters I would have made @Laura S. Fox so hot it would have burned her tongue. This way I get to binge, i think it's been four chapter today. I'm the real winner. I've been warned that we will get a happy ending, so for now, my happy ending is Jamie and Will getting it on wearing furry wolf masks, wolves being the natural enemy of rabbits.

So the truth comes out, the Incel is pissed about jamie's family stealing his future. Though how he wormed his way into Livefeed I don't remember. Maybe Angus is also a pawn and the Incel is the mastermind. I still stand by my earlier comment, in this day and age, Jamie being unmasked as the child victim in his families crime spree, would make him a star, people would be mailing him packages of dirty undies. The Incel doesn't seem to have a grasp on reality. Though I think the boy in glasses, Will? should replace cottontail... J

So Jamie was justified in his tirade against Cottontail. Lies, secrets, and fear kept the bunny from being honest, now he's very much reaping what he sowed. Jamie already suspected him of being Xpress, the glasses cemented it. Yes he jumped to conclusions but given the data, it makes sense. Xpress had been coming after him hard, now he realized that the Incel wasn't happy sticking to a college TMZ, I'd be pissed too. Rally the other contestants to revolt, sleep with them if you have too, suck dick to freedom! J

So having a few friends who have been on reality TV shows, Hell's Kitchen for an example, I kind of have an inside sight on reality shows and how they work. They say they aren't scripted but each episode has a producer that scripts the footage and gives us the final edit. They might portray someone only in a negative light by editing out all the good stuff and only showing the bad, but they are capturing reality, they just shape it to make it compelling. They never manufacture that reality. Producers want the show to be successful, if they are too underhanded, people will stop applying to be on. Look at all the damage control Survivor has had to do over the years. For Livefeed to be this overt in trying to screw a single contestant, something else has to be going on. None of Angus's answers made sense from a producer point of view. They want the contestants on their side, that's when they lull them into trusting them. Being combative and forcing them into situations like this family reunion, would only be done if Jamie agreed. So what else is motivating an entire reality show to go after a single contestant? Arthur is still not a villain, Angus might be manipulated by the Incel, which means he has to have a better motivation than just hating jamie because he sucks dick. Where are you taking us @Laura S. Fox?

So @Laura S. Fox is too good at drama not to have a good reason that the incel hates jamie so much. Though staying true to her "MO", we haven't gotten those clues yet. My only critique, I probably have eight chapter left before I find out! J

I'm not hating Arthur. He was up front, still promised to help and when rebuffed, gave a life lesson. A life lesson that would have helped thirty years ago. In the age of OnlyFans, Jamie's online persona would actually help him sell himself not hurt him. Methinks Arthur is "old" in his managing style. Jamie would be better off going out on tour (still touring what show I don't know) then listening to advice from a man that is so out of touch with current events. I still don't think Arthur is the villain.

So the story is finished, and I finally get to get the rest of the story on my own pace. Which probably means a single afternoon. We'll see how much time I have on a Thursday. The lack of communication of our main characters is so very irritating. As @Laura S. Fox said, a few of us might want to struggle her. (not a typo, it's a quote) Arthur is a piece of shit, always has been. That being said, my guess, Arthur is not part of the craziness that is about to go down. The incel and Livefeed are the real villains, and Laura, if anything happens to my bunny boy you and me will be permanently cut off from all future coffee dates. Not joking. J