Parker Owens
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I know that smell, and the scents that go with the earth at different times of the year. They remind you that the earth is alive, that it changes as you do, as your own seasons change. But the smell of fall rain is special, and you capture that beautifully. Thank you for reminding us.
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What answer can you give? Only you can decide that. Your brother did not live the life you had to, and the old tyrant who sent you to perdition, does he regret one word, one shove out the door? This comes through clearly. Gary spoke eloquently, too. Whatever you choose, know that there is a whole cloud of loving support behind you. xo P
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Our predator appears to have felt something in his heart for the first time in a while. If that stirring of heart and conscience can rekindle even a small flame of hope, then perhaps our predator-turned-prey might be able to look for a better way to lead his life. Thanks for the support, and for continuing to read this story!
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Well. Sure CJ isn't running for office? He's mighty smooth. Looking forward to a whole bunch of new plot lines that run out from under the door you shut on Travels. Definitely do not want to be in the room when Cesar starts the lecture. My ears would hurt, I think. Many thanks for a great story, and looking forward to more in 2017.
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Choices were there, and Kenny, Adrian and Zac made theirs. Only Zach seems to have made a decision that will turn out moderately well. But the thing is, everyone is presented with decisions al the time, and some are more crucial than others. In Adrian's case, he may get another chance to decide...though it will be too late for Zac. Kenny, to, may have another big choice of doors. One can only hope they don't mess up their choices then, as they have now. Great chapter!
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You ask about whether the predator is sorry, and it appears that he is, indeed, unhappy with himself and what he has done in his life. He hates that the video is online, too. Lee is an amazingly good man. Another reader called him a star, and that was how I hoped to portray him. He is certainly the light of this chapter. Many thanks!
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Marc is definitely displeased to see the predator. But he knew it could go badly. The predator knows he is helpless and vulnerable. He is desperate, and probably does not think clearly about how Marc will react. Given the condition of the suite, campus housing could have kicked out the tenants. They must have been shocked, shocked, that parties were being thrown there...
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Unquestionably, Lee is the best thing to happen to our predator now, and to Marc earlier. Amazing the effect one person can have. It is one thing to show the predator kindness, another to feel sorry for him. I think you balance that very well. You don't hate him, but his situation is clearly deserved. Marc and Lee have shown kindness, and in some ways that seems to hurt more than insults. But you are right...Lee is a bright spot in a dark tale...
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The predator wept. There are a thousand ways to fall, differing only in the timbre and twist of the pain at impact. Surely there are pieces to pick up. But are any of them worth salvaging? In any case, you are right in that our predator is feeling wretched, and perhaps there is a cardiac warm spell beginning. But you are wise to wait and see. Marc made it clear he wants him gone...many thanks for your continued reading and patience....
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The lack of a name simply began the story, and. It seemed impossible to name the predator thereafter. For you are right in that his actions were unspeakable, and it is hard to humanize him even in the smallest way. And yet he must have had a name...and a heart...once. Thank you for speaking about this. I am very glad you continue to read this story and I thank you for your review.
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He can feel shame. He can begin to feel the hurt he inflicted on others. He can see the waste he has made of the passing years and regret. And for Marc to be merciful hurts more than if he had slammed the door in his face. I am glad you were moved; thank you for commenting and for reading this story. Perhaps there was some real light for a change...
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Our predator has sustained some deep wounds. The pity of his former victim must be so hard to sustain. It is not a physical hurt that will melt his heart, though, but something deeper. But the conflict we feel must be far more magnified for Marc. Many thanks for your perceptive review and for continuing to read!
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You ask all the right questions. And Marc has every right to slam the door. This chapter tries to illustrate just how much power has slipped from the predator's hands. He can still follow, still hunt, but he has no power to seduce, to break another man. Not now. Thanks for reading this chapter and for all your support!
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Our predator is beginning to grasp the depth of his loss - the loss of his humanity. Lee is a person who I wish I could have known. But he is a person I can aspire to be. It is amazing how kindness can hurt far more than insults or outright rejection. It exposed the predator's heart to his own conscience. Many thanks for your review and support!
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Our predator certainly feels quite low. Lee, in his innocent compassion, twists the knife of pity in the predator's wound. Perhaps the predator is beginning to understand something, as you say - perhaps he has an inkling of how to be human, after all. Thanks so much for reading this chapter, and for your review!
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You have far more experience and wisdom than either Marc or Lee; the former has been around the block once or twice, and the latter has some of the innocence of youth. Marc seems ready to protect Lee, whatever happens. And really, what can the predator do to them now? Thanks for your response and for reading this chapter!
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Yes, for once in this tale, something -- someone -- bright and good stands out. Marc is clearly unwilling, but Lee must have been more convincing; he is indeed a star. The Predator has a bed, at least for the night. And the kindness shown him surely affects him as much as any number of (deserved) insults Marc could have hurled. Since when to predators weep? Thanks a million for your response and review!
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Not sure why this appeals today, but there it is...
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Prompt 538 - The Zombie Part 3
Parker Owens commented on Valkyrie's story chapter in Prompt 538 - The Zombie Part 3
Whew! Pepsi Max sends you to the psychiatric center under heavy guard! Loved the hospital drama superimposed on all the Zombie mythology. You did wonderfully here... -
Marc stood in the doorway, blocking out the light from within. The man was angry: eyes wide, shoulders broadened and straight, ready to fight. Ready to protect. He stood there on the step, withering under the glare, willing himself not to retreat, not to look away. "Please. Can we just talk for a second?" Marc allowed a short, sharp bark of ironic laughter to escape. "No fucking way. Get your ass off my front step and get the fuck out of here before I call the cops." Call the cops? The words
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You were not alone in having to re-read in order to parse Misadventure. I can hardly blame you for hesitating and puzzling over the first two stanzas before proceeding to the third. I am very pleased that the third helped make things clearer; even better pleased that you found it good. Thank you so much for taking the time to wrestle with this, and to respond to it!
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I fear for Adrian. But at least the two boys know what they both want. This was a wonderful chapter.
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I am glad to see there is more to come. I would not like this to be the very end, not now that Luke and Jackson seem to have some measure of acceptance. You paint the picture of Cindy, the Outraged Parent very, very well. My ears are still ringing. Worse still, Cindy, in her rage, seems bent on burning bridges she ought to have been maintaining with better care. Funny how the kids find a way to deflect most of the parental drama...does that mean they won't fear it as much later? But the best part of this chapter is Jackson's parents actually standing up for him. Thanks for an awesome chapter.
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I am sorry for the hurt you endure, the water that seems to appear in droplets where they oughtn't to be. Your ray gun makes the hurt and melancholy a little less blue, a little more bearable. But still, the hurt is there, even though the words flowing over it might take a little of the sting away. But you reflect on this so artfully, so insistently, that it will resonate with me.
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I am really grateful to you for the time you spent on this, and for your really generous review. Your interpretation is on the mark. You have the story essentially right. You did really well, even tired. This is what I like about this form: it's long enough for a story to develop, if the task of telling it can be managed within the structure. Many, Many thanks for your review and kindness...P
