MichaelS36

That's interesting. Dogs often know what we need emotionally.

This is an odd tale, but I like it. I think my journal, if I kept one, would sound rather the same. Nice to see you posting something, tim. This amused me: Master Dog sat. Eh, out, sit, what's the difference?

The both of you hang in there. As tim wrote in his story Until The End ... Time has a way of softening life’s sharp corners. And that's the truth. It hurts and I know more pain is to come but we cannot stop it, any more than we can stop the Earth turning. Talk about your pain and joy; sharing what's in your heart and mind, makes what will come easier.

Dad is on the final path, I think. And yes, it's hard and sad to see and think about. I know he wants to come home and I hope we can make that happen for him, even if he's only there a few weeks or a few days. He'd be happier surrounded by his own space, things and family. About you. Yes, you know I want you out of that stressful job. you carry too much home from that place and I want you to be happy. I want you to have the chance to go for a walk, to volunteer, to write and post your creations. We don't know how much time we have on this planet and so I do want you to have the chance to make some choices for yourself. Maybe in a year you'll want another job, who knows, we'll deal with that if it happens. I look forward to you posting a new story. For what you've told me it's another sweeping piece. I hope the changes we'll be making will make you happy and be positive for you. xo

Those are so good. I'm sure tim mentioned leaving them full size and then making ice cream sandwiches. However, you make them, they are good!

Haha, depends!

I won't answer that. LOL

It's beautiful, tim. Thank you. xo

That's generous of you to say that about tim. he's a pretty talented guy though he struggles with belief in himself. Glad you listened to him.

I like this too. tim said when he read this on your chat, he wasn't sure if it was a poem, or lyrics. I can understand why. Glad you posted it. It flowed out of you and it's really wonderful. Thanks for sharing it.

So, a beginning. I'm glad to know it and wish you all the best.

It is. But it's the only way forward, giant steps or baby, the only way is forward. You know this. You can do this.

Yes, they most certainly can.

I hope you feel safe, boy. Safe and loved.

You're so right in all you say, Fae. Dan is a great guy. He's very insightful, open and honest, I'm glad he's here for a lot of reasons. Thanks for your support and insight.

Thank you. You know well of all of this. It's difficult to get through, but leaning on friends is so important. And we have to remember that while we support our loved ones who have mental illness, we cannot cure them, and we need to look after ourselves. Honesty, self care, open and talk ... using those tools life is slowly getting better for us all.

Thank you, Reader. you've always been a dear and generous friend. I'm grateful for that.

No, it wasn't my fault or anyone's ... it was just the nature of the beast and my reaction was pretty normal. Like everything, it gets easier with time. Thanks, Wayne. Your friendship and support is appreciated very much.

Hmmm, I wonder.

Hang in there, Katie.

I've wondered for a while if I should talk about things going on in my, our, lives. I'm not much in the way of an attention seeker. I've always found being who I am attracts enough attention without me seeking it. I returned to school last year, I'm nearly done the first part of the course I'm taking: cybersecurity. It's in line with what I used to do, and what interests me and what I know can contribute. I'll look for a job in that field once I'm done, but I know there will be more schooling to come, likely at night school or distance. I then hope tim can reduce his hours or quit altogether if he wishes. tim's job is extremely stressful. Enough that a month or so ago he attempted to end his life. There was blood and hospital for a week. On my part fear and profound sadness. I was asleep at the time this happened and if it hadn't been for our other partner, Dan, tim likely would not be with us. Dan woke and noticed tim wasn't in bed and he got up to investigate. I slept through it all until Dan had bound tim's wounds, called the paramedics and at that point he woke me up. I think about that. Too much and too often. I wonder if I did so purposely and that thought feeds the sucking guilt in my soul. My more sensible side tells me, you were asleep because you don't sleep enough, you have a chronic disease, you're going to school and you're dealing with your father who has cancer. I try to believe this voice. Dan tells me the same things, as does my therapist. Dan's been with us for a while now. He's a good fit and we have a good time together. He makes my life much easier, as he's home, while I'm at school, so tim isn't alone. More than all of that he's my friend. I hope when I'm working again, that tim will at the very least reduce his hours. Maybe he'll find a way to write and publish again. he says its because he doesn't have an editor, but I'm not so sure about that. I'd like him to have more leisure time, write, volunteer, sleep more, exercise, visit ... whatever he'd like as long as it doesn't involve trying to keep customer's happy. he is very good at his job, but it's taking a toll. I saw a guy on tv last night. He'd been a cop for 17 years, and doing what I'd done for a part of that time. He worked trying to track pedophiles, he worked to help save kids. It's a necessary job but it takes its own toll. He went home one night.. and sat down.. and could not move. He was having a very real breakdown. I was lucky to have left before that happened to me. He had to retire and deal with the never ending nightmares. They are part of the reason I don't like to sleep too early so when I finally sleep I don't remember dreams. Even with all of this .. all of what could be, I'm hopeful that tim will fight back and choose life, I'm hopeful I'll be able to give him and us the life we want and deserve. As I read this over I ask myself why I'm writing this. I don't know really .. better out than in? Maybe someone out there needs to read it? Don't know. But here it is.

Ouch. I have a bridge thanks to one guy sucker punching me. Lost a couple of teeth there. Not a pleasant experience. Cracked molar.. ouch.

Couldn't agree more. I think they will give him a local so the young torturist can go to town. We'll need to make sure we have soup. At least she doesn't laugh gleefully.

Well, not many people can deal with that kind of pain. Dental pain is a pain even I cannot inflict, boy. I'd take the freezing and let them get it done.

Ah, here is said cake. It is a very nice cake, I have to admit.