seakinklets

Whoops lol, I got the line from chapter 1 where he said he wanted a 5th mixed up in my head. I stand by what I said tho

Extremely standard and predictable love story so far, but with that title drop I'm actually re-interested in what could happen. Getting in deep with the mixed feelings that surround his relationship with his dead wife, and how that compares to the love that had began forming(that he didn't realize) even before she passed? Now that sounds interesting and unique. This series started WILD, since I'm 23 and the idea of having 5 kids and wanting more is INSANE to me. Hearing he'd had 5 kids and not a single blowjob was also wild, and I didn't think it would come back up. I really hope this goes more in depth with character feelings, and we focus primarily on Kyan's feelings(and Perry's ofc) rather than mostly plot like previous stories. I recognize wanting basically therapy transcripts is asking a lot, but I can't help but hope for some serious depth in terms of getting into the serious nitty gritty of Kyan's feelings.

NGL, I completely forgot about this story, but I am glad to see it back. Might have to reread if youre gonna be updating it regularly, to get refreshed.

The mechanics of Terik's planning board and the cost seems completely out of left field, considering she apparently has infinite lightning storm powers and I assume teleportation for objects. Combined with Vincent not choosing to lose his magic, and Mason being the one to kill Stephan because of Terik, if Vincent hadn't trained at all and got killed immediately it would have made no difference in the outcome of the battle, meaning the 3 books of training was effectively pointless in the end. He doesn't even keep his magic, so it's not even theoretically useful in being an EC agent or anything like that. Stephan didn't need to be weakened by Vincent, or really at all since Mason snapped his neck even through his shadows with a full bracelet. The Divine aspect was also anticlimactic. This rare and unknown aspect just lets you get possessed by gods when they decide to possess you? How is that an elusive aspect of magic? I've been worried how the ending would land with the meandering of the third book and all the training and evolution of the first 2, but this just does not land for me. I've followed all 3 books as they were written, and I'm sure plenty of people will still enjoy this ending, but I hope my reasons why I think it was weak are clear. I always felt the main strengths of this series was the mystery in the world building and the plot, and while the world building was still pretty good I found the plot really fell through in this last book. I still think that a second revision going back through and probably shortening it to 2 books would make this a stellar series though. I wouldn't spend time on constructive criticism if I didn't think that the core of the work was good and that there's potential here. You've made a really good serialized story here that could be edited and revised into a book series I'd happily buy.

So for the final battle, Vincent loses, and is now going to win because of literal divine intervention in the most direct possible way. And because they were so evenly matched despite years of differences and every advantage Vincent had, if he had trained harder and focused more he could have won legitimately. Seeing the "gods" and their incompetence was nice, but I really don't know if it's possible to make this fight not ultimately feel like an ass pull after 3 books building to it.

Some of the phrasing is a bit confusing, I thought Nora was Christophe's daughter at first because of the way it was written. I'm also confused why Tani would think Kirion would know Lani would end up with the woman from Durante's line. Unless I'm missing something, Lani's mom had no connection and he would have had no idea the two families would cross paths

"Viscous bitch" I believe you meant vicious, meaning aggressive. Viscous means thick and sticky, and would more accurately describe, say, cum. Although "resistant to flow, sticky, tenacious" aren't necessarily inaccurate, and imagining Shivay's mom as a pile of slime was funny.

Oh my god, magic phone sex

Team Alinn, cause that's a way better name :3

As much as I find your dialogue the weakest part of your writing, this was a really good chapter. Plot and worldbuilding continue to be an amazing part of your stories, but this is maybe your best emotional scene so far(in my opinion). I do wish we lingered on Dirk, really got in deep with the pain and anger; Him laying naked screaming till his voice breaks at the injustice and anguish, ya know? But that kinda contrasts with the general pacing of moving at a brisk jog.

Quite a good chapter, but you might want to read back over and revise it. There were a number of typos and either missing or extra capitalization. If you want someone to read through your work for grammar editing and such feel free to pm me

Honestly although ny comment about summarizing everything instead of just showing us last chapter still stands, this one was leagues better. Very simple but enjoyable seeing the two have a nice date and chat, got to learn a little more about them too!

The worldbuilding was interesting, and generally I dont mind stopping for exposition dumps... Except when most of the story is exposition dumps. "Reilly learned how Sebastian became Alpha of the pack. Sebastian learned how Reilly and Kellan had survived on their own. They each garnered a new respect for the other and by the time Reilly fell asleep he was feeling much more comfortable with the whole being mated thing" These are two main characters. Them growing close seems important. We got Reilly's backstory being told to us THROUGH someone else, and here we don't even get Sebastian's? This story is almost entirely telling without showing, but this is really the most egregious example that just really took me out of the story. I like lore dumps, and I think the worldbuilding is fine, I just wish things were happening in between the dumps. Things we got to see and experience, rather than have the plot summarized.

Interesting, I like the kinda anthology structure with each species so far. My eyes glazed over a bit with all the proper nouns during the meeting but I imagine we'll explore each one later. I do hope you're setting up for showing off the wide breadth of human cultures.

37 kids tried to lift 600 lbs and not a single one said it was impossible? Jared is certainly called smart and interesting but he hasn't really done anything so far that would warrent that. I suppose studying the kids before would count, but that's basic test taking skills there. If this was an intentional set up to show the values of this society and how simple things like that have become considered exemplary then that fits in well with the good worldbuilding.

Facism has a funny little line to walk. The enemy must be powerful, so powerful to be a meaningful threat. They also must be weak. Weak enough to be conquered definitively. Flipping back and forth subtly so the contradictions don't become obvious is necessary for propaganda to convince people. Just a random thought, nothing to do with this chapter of course :3

Wow, between this and the prologue you're clearly flexing your character writing muscles. I can feel these two, I know them, I know people like them. Very very good work.

Fast and hard with the heavy exposition, before we even know what either of them look like. I don't know how effective this would be on new readers, but I know your work and I'm certainly interested. I trust you to get the dump out of the way now to focus on the story and characters, and I'm interested to see where this goes. The fairy tale happily ever after and general story beats seem obvious, but The Reluctant Consort showed me I should expect more from you, so I'm curious what wrinkles you'll introduce. All in all, promising first two chapters.

Beautiful piece about a dying man meeting his first love after decades of absence. Seeing Coy and Boone again was nice, but not all that exciting. They're living up their happily ever after as farmers and just as in love as when we left them. Their stable life is a great boon to Mitch however, and seeing the fatherly relationship between the three is heartwarming. Coy and Boone got lucky, and its nice both learning more about Mitch and how his young love didnt pan out as well, and his complex feelings on the matter. The story is incredibly simple, the setting is quite simple, and there are really only about 4 characters. And yet, I was thoroughly invested from word one to the end. I was just as interested every time a chapter came out. Its a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, and a bit of farmwork, and yet it was a wonderful read. The characters feel incredibly three dimensional and *real*, and the strife and love between them feels so *real*. Remove the word love from the story and its still so obvious how much they care for each other. Its truly a testament to how well written this is that such a simple and barebones story can be so fulfilling and worthwhile based on the emotions behind it. This is art, and among the best stories across the entire site. I struggle to think of a story on here that compares to how clear and deeply you can *feel* the love pouring from every word they speak. I repeat myself a lot here, but I do it for emphasis. I would love this to be turned into a proper novel. I would want a paperback copy of this sitting on my shelf. This is a story that even if you didn't read the first, I can easily recommend to anyone I know.

Ah, we're going with end of the world, destiny as foreseen by norse gods, and angelic messengers playing cupid. Well, at least we'll finally get some conflict, some actual plot, maybe some other characters that add some level of intrigue. Considering theres a binary good and bad ending, the result is now obvious. With the stakes that high, theres no way you'd follow through on that. Siku and Shivay will be true mates, although that was obvious when they fell in love at first date. I hate to sound so negative but this particular book has been so boring. The first book had death as a possibility for beloved characters. The second was an expansion of the lore and how bad bears can be. The third was an exploration of a character and their trauma. The fourth was full of mythology and gods and ghosts and shit. Even if it wasn't great, there were elements I didnt expect and intrigue. Here, Siku wants a mate. Find the mate. They're perfect together and fall in love immediately. And now I know they cant break up or be threatened by the mom or something with the party, cause they have to be together or else the world ends, and I'm calling your narrative bluff. Honestly I enjoyed Siku on the road, but beyond that this has been just... disappointing.

I won't lie, I am curious about where this will go and clearly you're doing research into Hinduism based on that rum loophole, but these characters feel a bit flat. What about Siku makes him unique from any other horny and hairy fishing bear? Likes, dislikes, hopes and dreams? He wants a mate... and...? I think the issue I'm having is how extra flst the dialogue is, which kinda makes sense considering English is(presumably based on their backstories) neither of their first languages, but without a colorful cast of characters the weak dialogue is really all we have. Most of the characters have been pretty one note, but theres been enough of them to paint a colorful, if simple, picture. I'm hoping for more characterization, development, new characters, some actual plot, SOMETHING. I'm sure you'll pull through, but I always want to give constructive criticism to things I'm invested in and passionate about.

Avian shifters? NOW WE'RE TALKIN!

Honestly I'm not a huge fan of this one. The series was at its best with paired down character interactions and personal stakes. Mike surviving and being with Gunnar, Axel trying not to kill his abusive papa, ect. The high concept battle of the gods being solved by the kid being Thor's descendant and weilder of Mjolnir is... a bit much, to say the least. The distraction and escape of the drag performers in the first book felt more clever and interesting in terms of the events actually happening. Axel taking control of the dabibi's and only Chris and his father dying/being injured was morr interesting thematically and emotionally. The kid being Thor was pulled out of nowhere like the rest of the high concept magic and felt like raising the stakes and specticle simply for the sake of it. Things don't need to get bigger, stakes don't need to get raised, scope doesn't need to widen with every book. I still think Trophy Cub is the best because it was focused on a limited number of characters that were more thoroughly explored, with clear and personal stakes that happened to have wider reaching implications. Susie is still great though, love her. I *will* keep reading as long as shes in it.

Susie continues to not only be my favorite character, but unironically one of the best depictions of trans women I've seen. As a trans woman myself, ill never drop this series, if only to see more of Mrs Banshee

Riding the thunder? That's one he'll of an entrance Cy. The mage dance tends to fall apart for me cause its so high concept and can be difficult for me to follow along with what I'm supposed to be visualizing, but that part was loud and fucking clear. Between his performance and Vincent's, all that high concept visual displays in a text medium flew over my head. However, My man jumping out of a helicopter, riding a lightning bolt, then landing without a hair out of place? More than enough. Thats some seriously Smokin' Sexy Style right there.