Mattyboy
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Everything posted by Mattyboy
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"An entire two weeks had gone by without anything going wrong. " Am I in the wrong place? It feels like I'm in the wrong place.
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I found the scene with Marie left me cringing. Love the story over all, but it was either dumb or cruel for Trent to bring him there without firm expectations of better boundaries with Marie. I see the other commenters didn't read it that way, so maybe it's just me.
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yay! Some hard sledding there, but it feels like there's traction now instead of wheel-spinning. I'm impressed with how you've written these. The baseline dynamic between Seth and Noah is a source of enormous tension, and there's so many mood-variations as you dial the hope levels up and down. (I'm enjoying the story, as well, but I feel like I'm getting a story-telling workshop along with the story, which is awesome)
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I really liked the real-ness of this day at the swim club. Youth sports these days isn't just that one day when you win the championship, there's those days too when you have to sling chairs and tables out for whatever events been planned. Nice authentic moment. And also with Scott as a recruiter- seems he does like Jackson, but he does have to be prudent with his offers. Fun stuff!
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And the Dejection and Hope theme music plays again.
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Well, maybe experiment a little to see how long you can get away with it.
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I feel you could be true to both your muse and my narrative expectations, if you tacked on an arbitrarily large number of chapters at the end where Seth and Noah ramp up the kink in increasingly improbable but nevertheless hopeful ways.
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So many plotlines advancing! Hope is having a day! Take a seat, Dejection! (For now, I presume) I hope, however, that you're no more than halfway done, I'm starting to be invested in this great ensemble of characters.
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"I never made any kind of (bleep) pass at Drew! That's a lie!" But is it really, Wayne?
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Nope, he's making a mistake there. But it's one that was set up from the moment we met Ethan; his life plan has been to compartment this stuff away from his public and social self, and it's a long way from there to the lunch table. Folks like Jermaine and Billy are more common than people like Ethan think.
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I really enjoy the "lightness of being" in this story, Comsie. There's enough heavy stuff in the world these days, it's nice to spend a few minutes on how great a "stolen moment"' kiss can be!
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Just on the tip of your tongue, and someone blinks and the moment's gone.
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"Well...this hurt to write 😬" Thank you for sharing this with us. It's powerful stuff they way you depict the beauty shining through the smothering pain and traumas. And thank you for including some green shoots of growth and hope in every episode.
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Give It To Me Straight - Chapter 11
Mattyboy commented on Comicality's story chapter in Give It To Me Straight - Chapter 11
So is Ricky's UNGGHHH!!! like Randy Stephens' one, or is that more of an UNNNGH! ? Can we have a crossover episode where they go on a date at Milo's Greek Restaurant? (This can still count as complete, it can be like a holiday special!) -
All's well. Noah needed that.
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oh boy, missing 19 woulda been missing a lot
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The episode-posting rate is pretty outstanding, though
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Someone, probably Ophelia, needs to have a talk with Lilith about just how much screamy-teen-pressure the Seth-Noah relationship can handle. Although she deserves something nice in her life too. Beautiful and powerful stuff, @Demiurge, thank you for sharing this story.
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Howard's just "in his 70s" And still pretty sharp, from what we saw here. 70s is like 64 in the old days
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And of course the business he pinged on was "wasn't dating him." Hi folks, I know this conversation's been on for a while but bingeing thru tonight. So I'm having the last three months episodes convos all at once
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Probably one of the Landry kids (Max?) siphoning/embezzling cuz they think the old man is past it. Seen it before.
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@Dodger Sorry to poke, so are we at March 2011? And Robbie's 17? I know it says somewhere back in the chapters, but I figure you have a handle. Btw, love the setting. I grew up in Ottawa, and this is the first long series I've read set in Canada, and I've really bonded with how you're handling Cobourg and Ontario. I'm winding up to maybe figure out who to lobby for "Canada" and "Ontario Gothic" tags here.
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Nice. What's this format called? I like the rhythm of it, and this piece. And your thoughts touch my soul as well, it's not just the format
