Procyon

I agree, although obviously it's very, very important to take anyone who thinks they're being sexually harrassed seriously, even if it may seem trivial to an outsider. That wasn't flirting as most of us see it, that *was* sexual harrassment, so no wonder it made you feel bad. Adults shouldn't flirt with minors, for one thing, and the fact that the behaviour of these men was suggestive and disrespectful takes this beyond flirting. Also, they didn't stop although you weren't feeling comfortable, and flirting is a two-way thing (here where I live anyway, and it seems it is to most people on GA). What if they smile at you? That is obviously an attempt at getting a tip too. And the man -- he was being genuinely nice, remember, I was there and saw him. Of course he was also trying to sell more strawberries, I don't think anyone wasn't aware of that. Not even the 95-year-old ladies. Yeah that's exactly what I meant.

Um, I don't really view a smile and a wink of the eye as something explicitly sexual, and certainly not as harrassment. And I would never take offence if someone didn't respond to my smiling at them... In my experience flirting was usually meant as something genuinely nice, such as the example I gave.

What a depressing world we'd have if people didn't flirt unless they were seriously interested in someone. Someone here said that it's usually one person initiating the flirting, and that's true, but usually the first smile (or whatever it is) is very open to interpretation so one has to respond for the flirting to go on. So, it takes two to tango. And if a guy (or girl) behind the counter in any shop were flirting with me, I'd definitely assume that it was nothing serious until proven otherwise. There was a guy selling strawberries close to where I live last summer, and I think he flirted with basically every customer he had -- even the old, decrepit ladies of about 95 -- and when he did that he made you feel so good even though you knew he couldn't possibly fancy you. And it was nice to see the ladies going home with their rollators, happy and smiling and looking only 85.

Aww now I want to reread Jules Verne... Yeah I'm having trouble getting past the first page because of the bad writing. I'm even debating whether to read it in translation since it might have improved in the process.

Interestingly I think I look at women that way a lot, although I've rarely wanted to do more than just look at them and -- hmm -- drool? lol. I don't think I've ever wanted to have sex with a woman, though I kissed a girl and liked it (haha) -- once. I do look at men too, but if I don't know what they're like to talk to they're not as interesting, while I can look at a beautiful woman and just think of her looks and not her potential as a lover. Well, I'm straight, but I think you're right. I don't think it'd be impossible that I'd have sex with a woman and find it as rewarding as I do with most men, and that I'd fancy her etc (although that is very far from my mind right now) but I think I'd still be pretty much straight, since that is the basic mindset that I have -- that of a straight woman.

Feet and neck, but not always. When I see it coming it's much, much worse.

Happy Birthday Drewbie!

That does definitely add to homophobia, and this raises an interesting issue -- all those bisexuals out there, I think they have a hard time sorting themselves into a slot (well some of them, obviously, not all) since they're neither gay nor straight. So some may either stay in the closet (internalised homophobia) and be continually scared of falling in love with a guy, wihch has been mentioned a few times here. Others may have had a homosexual experience, thought they were gay, and then become scared because they realise, maybe a good while later, that they also fancy girls -- which would make them (in their view) have to leave the box they sorted themselves into (i.e. gay) and become something else, less well-defined. Also, Ive seen (in literature, so I don't know how true this is) an attitude among gays that you should be "loyal" to your homosexuality and not soil it by having sex with the opposite sex. If you have that view of things, or if it's prevalent among those you associate with, you may become scared of suddenly finding yourself fancying a girl. lol well we can stop now. I don't know, in many cases I think not displaying emotional intimacy is something you've chosen and are happy with. Of course there's always some people who still secretly want what they haven't got, probably subconsciously, but... really I think it's much more about wanting someone to bully. And traditionally the weak are bullied, and displaying emotions, of course, equals being weak. Luckily that is beginning to change. Lol, I knowww. But it felt a bit like you were kicking someone who was already down. Okay that's not true I know, but in the context of this thread and this forum it felt like it. Yeah! It really was lovely, there were at least three of them who kept doing that. I was getting quite jealous, almost. Emotional jealousy, as it were. Luckily they also included me in their hugging every now and then.

That's because women write about men about as often as men write about women, while men don't tend to write about women a lot. I thought it was interesting (and possibly accurate) that 'we' was on the women's list while 'are,' 'the,' and 'a' were on the men's list, as well as 'above' and 'below'. Do men describe locations more often? And write about objects to a greater extent? Haha both of mine were female, The Caf

The trailer makes me want to reread the book, not watch the film... seems like they completely lost the spirit of the book. Hopefully I'm wrong, though. That was such a great book, and like you I still think about it from time to time, and I remember it well, much better than most other books. Maybe I should reread it, I've nothing else to read now really. P.S. The second trailer seems better, didn't watch that before. But still, not the way I had imagined things -- it might be watchable, though.

Poor you... how fast were you driving? And -- you have to go to court?? Gosh, that sounds scary. How much will it be, do you have any idea? Hmm I think I'll drive more slowly... for a while, it'll probably last about a week or so...

I hope it goes well. Do you know for how long you'll need to be on warfarin? That's not a fun medicine to have to take, not in the long run. Although if it helps you lead a normal, healthy life, it's a good thing.

I voted 'no' because I'm not from the US. But -- who won? Were they any good?

Lol sure, there's a lot of games you should ignore because of the country that's arranging them, then. But I don't think that's the way to go... At least not in this case.

There's a lot of countries you should ignore because of their policies, and many of them are represented here on GA. I don't think ignoring a country is going to do anyone any good -- some sound criticism, however, can be very effective. Me too... I *really* enjoyed it. It felt genuine, not corny, at least most of it did. I'm looking forward to it, very much!

I think they'd charge you even more for the bags, and imagine the airport taxes! Also, it'd be annoying to not make it back home in one's own lifetime. And I'm sure the supplies of pickled herring would be low.

My son doesn't want to go to Mars!! Or any other planet... I don't get it, that was my greatest dream when I was a kid, to go to a) the moon, b ) Mars, or c ) some other nice planet. A couple of Jupiter's moons are on my list, and going out of our solar system would also be cool. I'm beginning to realise that it won't happen, but yeah...

Happy Birthday Mike!

I'll talk you into period travel yet... Muahahaha. And yeah, Hangzhou and Suzhou are definitely on my list as well, and I'll stick a few of those mountains on it, too. And *cough* the wall. Of course, I have to go to China both via the Silk Road and on the Transsiberian railway, so that'll be two long journeys... Not that I mind, though. Heeey, did you forget Sweden?? The other places are cool though. Yeah, I did that, for four years, and I'd recommend it to anyone. I had a great time! The pubs are great, the music sessions are great, and -- the beer is wonderful. As is the Irish language. And as an extra bonus I got to take a kid with me back home. On that note, I'll say that travelling with kids is absolutely great, it makes you see things differently, and it gives you an excuse to take things easy and skip the things the kid wants to skip, and which you secretly may not want to see either. Apart from what I've already mentioned I'd like to go to Iceland, Svalbard, Lake Baikhal, some places in the Middle East (Jordan, Oman, Beiruth, Baghdad, Israel, Egypt, Iran), Peru/possibly Bolivia, and Mexico. I'm going to Australia in December, but I'd also love to see New Zealand some time, and I'll definitely go to San Francisco some time not too far off. And then, of course, I need to start revisiting the places I liked...

Are you aching to go to exciting far-away places, like I am? If so, where would you like to go? What countries? Are there any specific journeys you'd like to make -- any traditional routes you'd like to travel, legendary trains, or would you like to experience something in particular?

Lol, you might change your mind about that when you're at the Old Folks Home at age 157 or so... But you have a point in that all those who die when they're in the middle of something they'd have liked to finish, die too young. And that happens to so many people... I do think there are some who feel that they've finished what they wanted to do though, and who don't mind dying even if those around them might be of a different opinion. And it's interesting, when you've seen some (fairly close ones) die, you know who was ready for it and who wasn't.

Why do you think there are so many non-outed gays out there, is it only because there's homophobia around them? Sadly I don't think that's true. If you learn from your surroundings that women can't be engineers, you're going to think that's true even if you're a woman and you want to be an engineer. If you hear that being gay is a bad thing you're going to think so even if you're gay -- it's not likely that gays in a homophobic environment will think that homosexuality is something great, initially. And I think that is something you cant simply ignore. I think that intimacy is largely, if not completely, cultural. For instance, I also think that Americans (in some circles) are more prone to indiscriminate hugging than people of many other nationalities. Thus I don't really think that straight men feel that they're missing out on closeness, etc. I don't really feel that I am, for instance, even though I don't go round hugging people all the time (although if a nice person comes along and gives me a hug, I'll be pleased, of course. ) So no, I don't really think there's any emotional jealousy -- I do agree, though, that there is homophobia for the reasons we were talking about last week in James's thread about homophobia as "a fear and loathing of homosexuals; a fear of becoming homosexual." Um, I happen to like most of the straight guys I know, actually, and if I've had problems with them it wasn't usually because they weren't good at being intimate... I agree, I think most guys aren't so apprehensive about that kind of thing anymore, gay or straight. And I do see guys hugging, too, especially in the place I used to work before. They were hugging each other much more often than the women were... (and no, they weren't all gay. ;P ) I agree completely.

I really hope it goes well.

Haha, darnnnn.... Why didn't I write it first? But in any case all this is extremely obvious, isn't it? And I think I might still want to take a look at that book, who wrote it? Maybe I should have done gender and gay studies instead of in addition to all the other stuff I've done at university. See, you'll be grand whatever happens. I knew it.

This is very interesting, because I don't even think it's that unusual -- you come across these pieces of writing (often from young writers but not always) which are like rough gems, where you get a glimpse of potential genius-hood -- or magic -- and which give you a satisfying reading experience even in their imperfect state. Only, then the writer either gives up writing, or finds out about literary rules (which is necessary and unavoidable) and tries to conform, and it may take a very long time until she or he manages to get back to that state of liberation again. Or it may not happen at all.