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Green...that is an awesome cool story..you made me smile....your new str8 friend sounds cool and awesome...I bet you could introduce him to the BF, your friend brings along his Gay brother and hey, new friendships....way cool.....I so go with it:) (ok the fact that he makes Brad Pitt look um less then hot, ok, so your new friend is sexy hot eye candy...hey, so what's wrong with that? LOL...and I am sure the BF wouldn't complain if you shared the eye candy...I know very bad..but its a cool story (ok and hot too:) thanks for making me smile with mid week craziness going on:) your stories always make me smile....I still love the Church Lady story..that's what she reminds of..but I call her the Bigoted Christian Wrong Headed Lady (The Christian Right are neither "Christian" and never "right") You gave her the "get over it" "whatever" story that comes once in a blue moon and she deserved it and you delivered it with great panache! Michael

While I don't dispute your experience, my own doesn't match yours. Sex outside the primary relationship isn't cheating if it's part of the contract between the partners: otherwise it is: but even without making that exception, I'd say that the majority of the people I know who intend to be monogamous and say so are. Drifitng off to a tanget: Lately, there's a movement to call it cheating whenever a person has any kind of friendship outside the primary relationship, including friends you go to the movies with, and that's just stupid and makes life more difficult. Makes it much harder to be a good monogamous lover, because you have nothing to bring home to your sweety. Lucy, as I said in my reply to Dom, its exactly what you said...when both make the rules/contract and terms of what you both want the relationship to be and when both want a Monogamous relationship, if one cheats, then I am done(in my case, that is what both of us wanted...faithfulness and monogamy....when that didn't happen, I was done) I also agree that in a partner, I want a best friend..and often when you don't do things together, it is easier to "wander"..and I am not saying one has to do everything but sharing is important. I know too many couples that don't. I believe its important to communicate and spell out what the terms of the relationship are...and to keep communicating. I can be dense...the Taurus in me often doesn't see the obvious..so If I hurt someone's feelings...best to tell me...so I can acknowledge it and learn from it..things like that. I appreciate your blog post..you explained how I feel far better then I can ever relate..thank you:) I still say we don't have to repeat our parents' experiences and do our best to learn from those around us....but I have learned that parents are human as the rest of us....and it helps to see someone in that light..it doesn't take from them being a parent..but at least to me it helped me with my relationship with my Dad to find out about him as a person..not just his role as a Dad... Michael

Dom, you are learning at a younger age then I did that your Dad is human...with his own foibles...good and bad points...I finally learned in my 30s with my Dad and started to see him as a whole person with a long history before I arrived in life.... but your values are yours....and not his..so as to the cheating thing..yeah, I am right there with you...ended two relationships over it....you cheat on me....don't let the door hit you on the way out..I am done...that simple...for me its a self worth issue too...so, I am with you on that...but I have learned over the years that we may never really know someone on that issue (some people have long standing relationships/marriages where it has happened and they haven't ended it..but to me, if it happens, If I cheat shame on me(and no, in a relationship that is committed, I don't cheat....I believe you set the ground rules..either accept them going in or move on) and if I am cheated on..like I said....bye bye. so good for you..and its not you judging your Dad or anyone else....its your values...they are for you to respect yourself and live by... ok, enough of my rambling soap box... kinda freaks you out that parents are human? lol..it did when I sat down with my Dad to learn how human he is...it actually ended up being a great thing.. your Dad is your Dad...sounds like a good guy...as the saying goes "things happen"...so who knows what happened and why....just goes to prove he is human...don't know what else to say. Michael

Hi Nickolas, I have to agree with Lurker on this one...I have had people do this to me..then I have learned over the years to try and envision myself being them and being at the computer and trying to figure out what they hare doing..sometimes, people turn on their computer, get invovled in something else and even walk away and don't remember they were chatting...other times, they are multitasking and even talking on the phone while trying to chat, email, read email, write blogs, check blogs, etc...other times, they are just block heads and can't multitask and are just air heads and don't get that you are trying to chat with them (and they are probably do the same thing to everyone else....and don't even know it) So, I would hope that if he is friend that lives nearby and you see him in person...instead of IMing him..or emailing him and explaining that you have blocked him, if he is that good of a friend to you..sit him down, make sure there are no distractions and talk to him....don't get upset...just explain your feelings..he may not he has been doing it (or since he has repeated his behavior a zillion times say, ok, to keep our friendship, hey, best I don't IM you...I would still try to figure out what he is doing on his end of the computer...maybe he is just a dizzy kind of person and doesn't know he is doing it..but he is..so you can stop the insanity and let it go, keep the friendship and do things in person) sooner or later, he may figure it out..or not.... I know this is all over the place, but my point is Lurker is dead on right...with computers people do all sorts of silly things with IMs and emails and so on and don't even realize it.....so, hey, why ruin a perfectly good friendship over their silliness...just do the eye roll thing....explain you love him as friend and will keep the friendship and realize his computer etiquette isn't yours... I am sure you explaining it in person will help..creates a record..and then you won't feel guilty for blocking him...and it will be better then your BF in juvenile court for an assault on your friend over his bad computer etiquette. just be you Nick....he is being him....all types..all flavors...it is what it is.... Michael

That is why Grace, um, I mean Viv is our sweetie:) Hugs to you Gracie, um, I mean Vivie:) Michael

Ted, your story is both funny and cute....and sorry you are on the couch...bring extra pillows:) I bet your Baby will forgive you quickly.....remind him that he looks hot no matter whether he is hairy or smooth....(and um, avoid that long standing argument of smooth vs. hairy....I take the view of its what fits the man...and both are hot:) and I bet you will tell your Baby he is hot no matter what and snuggle and make love and bring him flowers (since two nights on a couch sucks) and take him out for a candle light dinner... anyway, that's the Italian in me and I can't stand to stay mad at my S/O (or at least when I have one..but alas we singles miss having our Baby) but its still a very funny story....I am still smiling and laughing...you do have a good sense of humor! Michael

Conner, you always have the best sense of humor (or humour for those who speak English of a different kind then American English:) Hugs sent your way for making me smile and laugh:) Michael

Myr, I also have a problem..when I tried to type a response in SoapBox, the lettering came out in white and unreadable...how does one fix that? yet, I type here and it comes out readable...ugh. thanks for your help...the new format is awesome:) and so are the new changes:) Michael

Mark, It has been quite a week....Matt announces he has serious health issues and Snow Dog has announced his departure from the Forum due to serious family issues. I believe both have had serious emotional affect on all of us. In our own way, we have become a 21st century family (dysfunctional but still loving including fights, love and respect for each other, arguments, personal announcements from love gained/lost, health issues, etc....the latest being Lore will be a Mom). I also think of Kitty daily in the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina leaving her homeless/jobless and the effects it had for James and Kitty and their communities. In the last few months we have become for lack of a better word feel connected and close to each other(since I am not sure there is one for a Group that by and large have never met in person) In our own way we have become a "family". I can't speak for others on that point, just for me. But I feel as if in our own way, we are a family. It is heart breaking and sad and painful to read about Matt, at age 22 (well anyone at any age) having serious health issues. The same is true for hearing about Snow Dog's troubles. Knowing both Matt and Snow Dog they are strong and will "soldier on" to do what they must do and not ones to "share their pain"...just not their style. But we can keep them in our thoughts and hope for the best...and know that they shaped our hearts and minds and souls...and hopefully, we did the same for them and will continue to do the same. I don't believe that Snow Dog, Matt, Kitty and those who have had major trauma in their lives want us to worry..but we will...and of course, that is only human nature, but we can be optimistic, pray(prayers to me are good thoughts, good karma and sending out positive energy) and honestly knowing that with time life will get better for Snow Dog, Matt, Kitty and everyone here we have come to know.... I believe Snow Dog will do what he must...and I also hope that as Vision expressed that Snow Dog finds happiness...and yes, the happiness he wants and needs....co dependency also can be debilitating...one I relate well to and done my own share of therapy in...but Snow Dog is smart and will get through it all. One thing that Vision said that I hope for Snow Dog is that he finds happiness as a Gay Man but that happiness must begin with him and his own recovery, which I have learned is one day at a time. It is a precious gift and thankfully, I believe Snow Dog, who is a precious gift to us all, will be able to find his way. That is what matters....the rest will take care of itself. On that note, I best end this post. Michael

Green, I had a similar experience...I still wonder what about if things had worked out and if the timing/karma/cosmic nature of the sun/moon/stars had set right (ok, ignore me on that..combo of my own sarcasm and wondering what if)..but it just seemed in my case the timing was off for both of us...ah, I will leave it at that and spare you the details and so on.. but I do sooo relate to what you experienced! Michael

Lore!!! Congratulations and Lots of Hugs sent your way...you will have lots of Aunts and Uncles online to hear all the good stuff and the times you want to shriek, cry, scream and laugh and of course beam with pride about your soon to be newest arrival....matters not if a boy or a girl...your little one will be loved with great parents and of course all of us oohing and ahhing:) and the Moms and Dads and hey even we Aunts and Uncles chiming in:) Best wishes and keep us informed.....I remember my sisters telling me everything swells...ring fingers, feet, hands..so, listen to mother Sharon and invest in slip ons and comfy shoes/sneakers/slippers I remember when the first of my sisters was pregnant..she said she was only having one child and she had a craving for chocolate 7 layer cake and we watched her devour the whole thing....anyone who attempted to get a piece of cake had their hand slapped away as she said she was only having one child and she had that craving for chocolate cake so hands off....she had me rolling with laughter....well my niece will be 21 in March and she is one amazing smart woman..so, good luck and enjoy some chocolate cake:) Hugs, Michael

Dom, I am sorry to hear about your bad news...Don't worry about TOU...we can wait..I am still bummed and very sad to hear Matt's news....so add that to your bad news (unless its about Matt..well, then, its just well, words can't say how much we are all worried about Matt.) In any event, post your next chapter when you are ready...I don't feel anyone can complain...add to that you are now newly single (which you said you are happy about..but still well, the whole break up thing etc) and migranes..I don't get them but I do know how horrible my bad sinus headaches can get and are much like migranes...sucko...at least you have your cute puppy..she is adorable..and loves your lasagna. If you talk to Matt, please send let him know he is in our thoughts, prayers, good wishes and hopes for his speedy recovery and return to good health. Hugs to both of you...and really, (geez, I know I will be super flamed for this) but I am sure we can wait for when you are ready to post..better to post when you are ready then to have yourself feel upset and disappointed no less for whatever your bad upsetting news is.. I hope you are ok...and good thoughts sent your way...and hopefully some rest (no less having to deal with your sister and her um "misunderstanding" (more like she wanted you to write the story....oops and I am glad you didn't) ok, this rambling post is ending..no need to make your migrane worse....by its non ending ending Michael

Val...until I saw the comma, I read it as Foreign GLBT Cult and like it had a free Membership...goes with the old joke of we get a free toaster for each Member we recruit......I know very old joke...but I would have had the what the heck (um, I remember no cuss words) kind of reaction too.....oh well, maybe I haven't had enough sleep..all I know is lately, I want more sleep and I am not getting it..... that's another story...but did you enter the store and are they renting GLBT films? selling Cds and books by GLBT authors? just wondering. Michael

Now that was funny...but um, he lost his credibility...or won it with me..since he used his Mac to do the film he did.....Macs Rock and Rule!! BTW, Chris, cool site..thanks for sharing it with is and my Mac totally agrees:) Michael

Val, Good Luck with the Law School Applications. now for a few pointers from an attorney (me): 1. The first year of law school is the same courses everywhere in the country..... 2. The same pretty much holds true for the 2nd and 3rd yr of law school. 3. There is a law school saying...the 1st year they scare you to death, the 2nd yr they work you to death and the 3rd yr they bore you to death...you will see its true. 4. As far as I am concerned, everyone should be given the bar exam after the 1st yr of law school and here is why..except for Evidence, the Multi state part of the Bar exam (its the multiple choice hell part of 200 questions in 6 hrs and a question can be a page and have multi parts or just be one question or there can be brief questions..never mind...cold sweats on that one..but the point is that the Multi state part of the bar exam covers 6 subjects...5 of which you have in the first year of law school and forget about by the 3rd yr..) My point is that from my perspective, it doesn't matter where you go (as long as they are an accredited law school) but you may want to check out certain law schools with different perspectives. I also think its smarter (unless you plan on being a Harvard/Yale or Ivy League elite) to go to a public law school..its cheaper and financially helpful when you have to pay say half the student loans over 30 yrs compared to the loans from a private institution and to me you will get a great education at half the cost:) Good Luck to you:) Michael

James:) Ditto...beautiful pictures and scenery and keep those beautiful pictures and thoughts of what Mississippi will once again look like...Hugs to y'all and then some...I hope that you are all doing better...and each day gets better....My thoughts go with you. Michael

Kat...Jinx is adorable...so is Jetta....the dog (not the car...) and Kel..such a cute dog....she is a cutey pie and for that matter, the pets are pretty amazing..I loved the names...and the cat that is Yasser Ara Cat..well the name cracked me up......you should get a female cat named Gold Meier Meow to add to the set:) Michael

Actually the Reefer Madness movie from the 1930s was a propaganda film made by the Hearst Newspaper chain. It seems that the Hearsts owned textile mills and forests/papermills. Apparently, the Hearsts allied themselves with the nylon industry to stop the hemp industry. (and no, I am not smoking reefer as I type this...its a true story) Hemp has many useful by products including clothing and I think paper. Thus, as this industry was taking off, the Hearsts would have lost money and so they did what they could to make marijuana illegal and backed the Reefer Madness film. As Gobears said, marijuana is not addictive in any way....and its a myth that it leads to other drug taking. I say, make marijuana legal, tax it and sell it over the counter to those 18 yrs of age and older. It would save a lot of energy for law enforcement so they could pursue real crime and raise money in the process and the food industry would be pleased to..for all the munchies created...and nope, I never ever smoked a joint but I have inhaled the smell (well hard not to inhale the smell from being with friends who have smoked marijuana. If any one gets a chance watch the independent film "Reefer Madness" (I think that is the title)with Alan Cummings (that's where I learned about all the info about it. Michael

Conner, Happy Birthday to you......May you have a wonderful Birthday and a ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS YEAR... filled with fun, merriment, sexy men, good health, happiness, Rainbow Jelly Beans and Hershey Kisses all things in life and love that are sweet and wonderful! All the best sent your way, ALWAYS:) Birthday Hugs and Kisses sent your way:) Michael

Nickolas... I have been crazy with work but I wanted to wish you the best with your new school..and your course work which seems heavy duty.....and I hope you enjoy new cool friends at your new school..you all start at an even playing field..so that hopefully helps. Wrestling is a form of the theater of the absurd..i don't get it...but that doesn't mean its not what a lot of people find fun (I typed cool and deleted it....I sense Snow Dog on cool patrol) good luck with biology.....I liked that better then chemistry..yucko. give me English and History..I am in my element there... oh, well, back to paperwork I go....all the best Nick:) and hey, don't forget to be proud of yourself for taking on the extra tough stuff....way cool (um, I better end there before Snow Dog calls me out again for over use of the word cool....) and um, stay focused but don't forget to have fun:) I am sure you will....go get em and good luck..my nephew Nicholas started 9th grade too...hmm..I will have to check in to see if he survived...today was his first day. Michael

Happy Birthday and many more and welcome to the Fab and Fun 40s!!! Enjoy your Birthday and have a great year! Michael

Reaper..I LOVE Scissor Sisters (I was thinking of them when I typed my list and went back and re-edited..they are in the cd in my car now..I can't get enough of them:) thanks for reminding me:) Michael

I have more then one favorite (these are not in any preference order) Ella Fitzgerald, Barbra Streisand, Celine Dion, Judy Garland, Billie Holiday, Cher, Rufus Wainwright (he has such range and pathos and is one amazing singer with depth and feeling. I have all his Cds and have followed him since 1998 when he came out with his first Cd) Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett Ella had an amazing range....there really is no one like her. Billie Holiday had in each of her songs both so much joy and soooo much pain of course, well, I have loved Barbra Streisand since I was a little boy..the same with Judy Garland I also love k d lang (she really does have a velvet voice) Celine is Celine....such ooh la la Cher....she thinks she has a bad voice..I love it and love her..she said k d lang is her favorite singer I am sure I could think of more.but those are some of them. Michael P.S. by way of edit..I forget to add Scissor Sisters...they really are soooo cool....I can't wait to get lots of their Cds... Michael

1. Who are you? I am Michael 2. Are we friends? I hope so...I think you and Chris are the coolest:) 3. When and how did we meet? Met online and via posts through DomaLuka 4. Do you have a crush on me? No 5. Would you kiss me? A kiss on the cheek and a warm hug 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Dave...it just fits you 7. Describe me in one word. Ok, I need more then one word...several. Sweet. Loving. Adorable and a Doll 8. What was your first impression? A down to earth and loving and special guy. 9. Do you still think that way about me now? Yes 10. What reminds you of me? How much you love Chris 11. If you could give me anything what would it be? A long happy loving life (healthy too) with your loving husband, Chris:) 12. How well do you know me? From reading your posts and blogs, I hope well. 13. When's the last time you talked to me? Never spoken in person or on the phone but I think once or twice in Live Chat. 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? No 15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you? I don't have a blog..so I hope you don't mind that I posted my answers in your blog