Conner
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Everything posted by Conner
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This is going to be one of those stories where the author, early in the story, plants the suggestion that a main character will suffer grieviously and we readers follow along voluntarily with our blinkers firmly in place, like lambs to the slaughter. It's not easy for an author to pull that off and still maintain a following. I must say you're doing well so far - well, speaking for myself at least. Nice chapter!
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Great chapter! I enjoyed the two major scenes very much - Mark and Amanada and Mark and Steve. Really good work here.
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Yet another gift! Thanks, Marky. By the time I figured out the man that I wanted to be, I was a little "long in the tooth" as they say...not to mentioned tired. But it's a journey we men must take, willingly or otherwise. So good luck with that! If I can help you stumble along the path, you just let me know.
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Happy B-Day, Benji!!
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Chapter 6 - Fear and Humiliation
Conner commented on Enpassant's story chapter in Chapter 6 - Fear and Humiliation
I suppose the next thing Mark needs to determine is whether Amanda outed him with malicious intent. Some people spread stories of others simply because it makes them feel better about themselves. The consequences of their actions are raely considered. I imagine these consequences are staring Amanda in the face right now and she's decided to try and dodge the bullet. Steve is making me laugh. He keeps asking Mark if he's ok. Mark is not ok and Steve knows that. Steve feels helpless. Seeing that you left us in the parking lot with Mark staring at Amanda, I'm declaring a cliffhanger! -
Great dialogue....like always!
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renee stevens Challenging Fate By Renee Stevens
Conner replied to Renee Stevens's topic in Promoted Author Discussion Forum
So our Blue takes the high road and saves the Peacemaker dragon from the evil wizard. We'll have to see how that turns out - friend or foe. Given Ryder is a Peacemaker, I'm hoping for the best. So all this wizard had was the stone? Not much of a wizard! -
Great characters! Enjoying the story!
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Chapter 5 - Pent Up Feelings and Sudden Outbursts
Conner commented on Enpassant's story chapter in Chapter 5 - Pent Up Feelings and Sudden Outbursts
Three possibilities I suppose. Mark's parents, his brother or Amanda. I'm going to go with Amanda. I could say why but then some Mod would have to delete my review. Had to happen. This way he can throw his teary self into Adam's arms for comfort. Good chapter! -
Chapter 5: From Decimation to Destruction
Conner commented on Sagitta137's story chapter in Chapter 5: From Decimation to Destruction
Bugs, eh?? I certainly wouldn't be plunging my hand into the backback. I'd use Terku's hand! No zombies, please! Something tells me staying healthy isn't going to be easy. -
Chapter 4 - Confessing the Secrets You've Nurtured
Conner commented on Enpassant's story chapter in Chapter 4 - Confessing the Secrets You've Nurtured
Now there are 2 characters in your story that I don't like. Leslie and Amanda. Steve is totally cool! Adam too. Regardless of his sexuality, he's being incredibly supportive. Great dialogue! -
Chapter 3 - Questions and Answers
Conner commented on Enpassant's story chapter in Chapter 3 - Questions and Answers
Well, seeing that you squeal, I'll have to leave a review. The story has a nice flow to it. I'm not too happy with Leslie right now. Hoping to hear more about Adam. I think "monotonous" would have worked better when describing Mark's job. -
You write well. That said, I have to wonder why you keep a dictionary so close at hand. The half-dozen or so 50 cent words tend to distract the reader and disturb the flow of the story. Not a biggie, but you may want to review that issue with your editor/beta.
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At this point, I'm just confused. How are you going to connect all the dots? It's driving me nutso!
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I like vampire stories, although I'm not sure this is one yet. I'm still curious.
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Nice flow to the story. Some good character development there too. I'm curious how things work out living with Adam. I suppose there will be contact with his family at some point. I'll just have to wait and see.
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For me, this was the best chapter so far - both in content and the flow of the story. Well done!
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Happy B-Day, Andy!!
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Chapter 9 The Truth and Nothing But The Truth...
Conner commented on Naptowngirl's story chapter in Chapter 9 The Truth and Nothing But The Truth...
Great chapter, Kim! It's hard imagining Simon getting used by anyone, yet he claims Alec is a player and took money and family from him. For some reason, I sense some truth there. Believing Simon? Maybe I need my head examined. Well, you're not about to say too much on that subject. I'll just have to stay tuned! -
Good flow to this chapter. You maintain the tension very well. Good chapter.
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I like your character names. Sound Finnish but not really sure. OMG! I was waiting for the four horsemen to come riding in. Pretty devasting scene, for sure. Good job here! You may want to look around for an editor/beta once you're comfortable here
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renee stevens Challenging Fate By Renee Stevens
Conner replied to Renee Stevens's topic in Promoted Author Discussion Forum
Well, that's just it, I suppose. It's a great theme, but it's been done a few times. Therein lies the challenge. I'm anxious to see what you do with it. -
renee stevens Challenging Fate By Renee Stevens
Conner replied to Renee Stevens's topic in Promoted Author Discussion Forum
This first chapter has "ugly duckling" written all over it. -
A week of horse muck! That's got to suck. It makes a ruler to the knuckles sound tame. I enjoyed listening to Ernie whine about it. I'm curious about the "magic" rock introduced in this chapter. Perhaps we'll hear more about it later in the story, maybe even along with Sam's 'lil bro. It does seem Lance could use a friend...or maybe a punching bag. I'm enjoying the story more as I get to know your characters better. Great job with this chapter!
