Conner

Now there are 2 characters in your story that I don't like. Leslie and Amanda. Steve is totally cool! Adam too. Regardless of his sexuality, he's being incredibly supportive. Great dialogue!

Well, seeing that you squeal, I'll have to leave a review. The story has a nice flow to it. I'm not too happy with Leslie right now. Hoping to hear more about Adam. I think "monotonous" would have worked better when describing Mark's job.

You write well. That said, I have to wonder why you keep a dictionary so close at hand. The half-dozen or so 50 cent words tend to distract the reader and disturb the flow of the story. Not a biggie, but you may want to review that issue with your editor/beta.

At this point, I'm just confused. How are you going to connect all the dots? It's driving me nutso!

I like vampire stories, although I'm not sure this is one yet. I'm still curious.

Nice flow to the story. Some good character development there too. I'm curious how things work out living with Adam. I suppose there will be contact with his family at some point. I'll just have to wait and see.

For me, this was the best chapter so far - both in content and the flow of the story. Well done!

Happy B-Day, Andy!!

Great chapter, Kim! It's hard imagining Simon getting used by anyone, yet he claims Alec is a player and took money and family from him. For some reason, I sense some truth there. Believing Simon? Maybe I need my head examined. Well, you're not about to say too much on that subject. I'll just have to stay tuned!

Good flow to this chapter. You maintain the tension very well. Good chapter.

I like your character names. Sound Finnish but not really sure. OMG! I was waiting for the four horsemen to come riding in. Pretty devasting scene, for sure. Good job here! You may want to look around for an editor/beta once you're comfortable here

A week of horse muck! That's got to suck. It makes a ruler to the knuckles sound tame. I enjoyed listening to Ernie whine about it. I'm curious about the "magic" rock introduced in this chapter. Perhaps we'll hear more about it later in the story, maybe even along with Sam's 'lil bro. It does seem Lance could use a friend...or maybe a punching bag. I'm enjoying the story more as I get to know your characters better. Great job with this chapter!

Two minor things - in the third paragraph, it should read hydrated; towards the end when Yoshi is reflecting on what to do, the story referes to the Empress seeing the "fake ring" - that ring is not fake, right? Seems to be a great story shaping up here!

Joshua is definitely the treatment of choice for Alexi's anxiety. I recommend doubling up on this medication. 'Tis better to be chased than to chase. It's far more distracting. Fun chapter!

Numbing-out is not a bad thing. I do it all the time. Like a lot of things, it's a coping mechanism. If it helps you get through your day, more power to you.

I was a little confused at the beginning of this chapter - different narrator and all that. So you're setting things up for Gunni's arrival - all good. I'm wondering if Gunni will have to beat Dimitri off with a stick.. Interesting character.

The dialogue along with your humour are just great! I enjoyed both the Sara and the Cassie exchanges. That Cassie has a mouth on her. Sara too for that matter. I think they're both good for Caleb. Carson is too, but much less brutal. So I'm already thinking about the next chapter and what the gay club will bring. Great job with this story.

Great tension! I'm not at all convinced that Jeremy is dying or very sick. It could be something like Jer's family is about to move to a different state or something. I guess the one fly in the ointment is something that Zach's mother said to her husband about "this" having gone on for a long time. Thanks for the story. Hope to read more soon.

What I'd really like to think is that all Pete needs is a little push (or perhaps a pull), you know, to get him out of the closet. He reminds me of a friend who goes to AA meetings but doesn't believe he's an alcoholic. I can't decide how much patience Corbin has left at this point. I can just hear Corbin saying, "Well, I hope you and Mister will be very happy together!" Wrestling is an excellent exercise. Great chapter, Jwolf! Keep 'em coming!

A positively scrumptious story! Frankly, I wasn't surprised that Heath didn't hang around to explain everything to Alec. I'm not even sure if Heath has made it that far in his own mind, not conciously at least. He now desperately wants answers from Simon which, honestly, is going to be a waste of time. Simon is simply going to say, "Yes, it's personal. What's your point? Why aren't you doing your job?" Actually, that's a good name for Simon - Simple Simon. But not because he's a dullard. He just does things "simply". Check with Nina. What's been on my mind though for the longest time is, if Heath and Alec are going to make it, how will Alec deal with the truth here, Heath's complicity. Not even to mention Heath's history with other "victims". How do you ever trust someone like that?

I need to know how this will end. NOW! Alright, I'll wait. Mind you, patience has never been a strong suit for me. Great story, really well written!

It's ironic how Davey has figured Dean out vis-vis his relationship with Tyler yet he (Davey) has figured himself out in that regard - even when Dean practically gave him a road map on how to proceed. Does Davey really think he's going to become David, like permanently??? Has he gone completely nuts?

You do a great job with young Zack, specifically writing the character of a 4-year old. Nice job with this chapter.

Great opening chapter! It has a nice flow and good dialogue. Looking forward to learning more about your characters. Ginger plants? Now that's different.

I believe the power of this story lies in the rather universal application of the theme of losing one's way, for whatever reason. Fear is often the cause. Isolation, in one form or another, is often the result. Good job here, AJ!!