JamesSavik

Disclaimer: What happened to me happened decades ago inside a culture that isn't very forgiving in sexual matters. Occasionally, where religious nuts are involved, it still happens. Past performance is not necessairly indicative of future results. Coming out can be as painless as Colinian's or as difficult (or worse than) my own. Use your own best judgment. Just be aware that it may be more complicated than you think.

I never though I would read that. In fact, I think I need to wash my eyes.

Fun from the War Zone care of: US Marine Corp & Lady Gaga

I like Aussies and Kiwis myself. Canadians with their hockey and flapping heads... Tell us what it was all "aboot" again?

I hate seeing this topic. I really do. I don't know whether to lie and tell a rosy truth or simply tell you a shitty truth. All is not wine & roses and coming out can be debacle. It is not something to be taken lightly or on a whim. I don't lie well. It's part of the culture that I both embrace and am hopelessly trapped by. So I might as well tell the truth and let you sort it out for yourself. If I had to pick a bad place and time to be gay, I doubt that I could have done much worse than choosing Mississippi, the 1970s, and choosing a very religious, very military and very Old South family. Immediately when I say the word Mississippi, people get the images of klansmen and inbred trailer trash. They are there- just not in the quantities that you might think. That's not who we are. Our family came from a South-Central part of the state: Smith and Jones counties. Cattle country, horse people. We are an odd mix of English and Swedes who bought a compass from a street vendor in New York and thought they were going to Minnesota. The military is a strong tradition in the family that goes as far back as Agincourt. We were never Generals or Lords. We were always trusted Lieutenants and Captains. We are BIG men. We grow large early and excel at sports. We are a quick witted lot and can beat you at chess or simply... beat you. It is difficult to describe our culture. Being immersed in it, it is as natural for me as breathing air or swimming in water. For someone who has no idea what Southern culture is like, describing it is like trying to nail jelly to a tree. At the core of Southern culture is tradition. Knowing your family, knowing your history and knowing what is expected of you. A young Southerner knows these things. The second tenet of our culture is honor. Your word must have meaning or you and it are worthless. To lie is a hateful thing and can be remembered and held against you for decades. Next duty is central to our culture. Duty to family, duty to community and duty to God. Finally, faith is part of who we are. It is a force that unites us and gives us continuity across the generations. Southern culture is horribly misunderstood by people who don't know or care about the truth. There it is. For better or worse and it could be a great deal worse. If you know someone who has grown up in this culture and tradition, that's the kind of friend who would take a bullet for you. It's someone that you could trust with your life. As conflicted as I am by it sometimes, it is a matter of great pride. As a boy I did all of the expected things. I was expected to follow in my fathers footsteps. I would be a military officer and that's something you prepared for from boyhood. I played sports, hunted, fished and lived in the outdoors and when the time came- I became a Boy Scout. This would prove to be my undoing. To make a long story short, I was outed by an overzealous scoutmater who went on an anti-homosexual witch hunt with 12 and 13 year olds. He made a point to tell all of our parents why we were no longer welcome in scouting and he told the other parents so they could make sure their kids didn't catch faggotry. This happened to me on the very day of my 13th birthday. It was a disaster for me personally and it pretty much caused wounds that my family never really healed. I laugh at what some people call abuse today. It's a joke. Some of the shit I lived through was the stuff of nightmares. I was in a f**king war. Worse, I was in a war with people I loved. I can't say that all of my friends turned their backs on me- they just turned on me like a pack of wild dogs. There was a time I was fighting so often and regular that I never completely healed from one fight to the next. Thankfully- I fought enough to get good at it and became more than a match for most kids my age. When I knew that I couldn't win, I made the bastards pay for it. I made them hurt. I continued to do the things I loved like playing football. In fact, I was the first ever openly gay kid to play and letter at my high school. I fought my way through high school and picked up a nasty little drug habit. When I turned 20 I cleaned up and got my college degree. I thought that I was past it all. In the eighties, people started dying. That was another little horror show I got a front row seat for. You never knew who was going to be next. It went on for years and I have to admit that it got to me. I got to the point to where I couldn't stand to read the newspaper. Finally it hit someone that I very close to and I snapped. I started drinking and smoking pot again just so I could pass out and not have to feel it anymore. Something else was wrong. All the violence that I had been exposed to had taken its toll. I knew that it wasn't wise for anyone to sleep in the same bad as me because I was violent in my sleep. I didn't understand what was happening to me. I thought I was cracking up. It took a shrink and a couple of years therapy to get it sorted out. I had post traumatic stress disorder and was only sleeping when I passed out. I was very screwed up. That was 7 years ago. I have since cleaned up and starting rebuilding my life. ________________________________________________ So- in all of those words, what did I want to say about coming out? It's not a joke. It's not a lark. It's something that you have to think over carefully. If you live in certain types of families or cultures, it can actually be dangerous for you. I offer two pieces of advice: be ready. My "coming out" wasn't voluntary. I didn't get to pick and chose when I came out and I wasn't ready for the consequences. Wait until you are 18: if all else fails, you can walk away if you have to. Before you turn 18, your parents can, and many do, things that are badly wrong out of ignorance and fear. If you are not sure what they will do, err on the side of caution. It can save you a lot of grief in the long run.

loyalty trust integrity creativity constancy strength determination courage passion curiosity honor

Dangerous question as these points are turning points. Zigging where you once zagged? Answer the phone or don't? Take the red pill or the green pill? Changing directions at one of these points could change your whole life and make you a different person. It also makes a mess of the quantum structure of the universe when you change history. Time Travel: Just Say No. The temporal reality that you save might just be your own.

Bad Touch, BAD TOUCH!

You are so much more than just a pretty face Chase.

No. Tom looks like Clay in the Place In Between- my newest story for the anthology! Come to think of it, he could be Tom in Twilight- which I will rename Childhood's End for publication.

Welcome to GA. I like you already.

Little Billy, pair of skates, hole in the ice, golden gates.

I'm entirely too evil to be anybody's Mr. Right. I'm more a Mr. Right Now kind of guy. Sure. It's a dirty job but somebody has to do it.

What drives me crazy are perfect people in fiction. perfect people with perfect looks with perfect ass, perfect teeth, perfect grades, perfect families, perfect cars, perfect lives and they are rich as fuk. I just want to KICK THEIR PERFECT ASS!

I watched for a while and decided that I've done enough acid for one lifetime.

OMG! The entire active membership of GA is coming to a big dinner party and you have to plan it! You have plan a party and food for ~1000 people. Budget is no problem. You have Myr's platinum card. Where is the party? What is the theme? What is the menu? I'll start: Our party starts at the New Orleans French Quarter Mariott in the Spring. The theme: Elegant New Orleans! Music: jazz band Menu: Horderves Raw oysters on the half shell seafood gumbo shrimp cocktail shrimp nachos Drinks Dixie Beer Sangria White wines Iced Tea Coffee (New Orleans blend) Soft drinks Bottled Water Main Course Prime Rib & twice baked potatoes Scallops & shrimp + veggie Crabs & Shrimp + veggie Sir Loin Steak & potatoes Twigs & seeds (for vegetarians) Dessert Key Lime Pie Beignets Caramel Cake Carrot Cake Cuban cigars freshly smuggled in. After dinner, we'll assemble and raffle off WatchPatRun, JamieD and thatBoyChase for charity. OK, OK, we'll think of one.

Truthfully- writing is a creative act and it is rather involved. Beyond the grammar and spelling, there is the plot, characters, settings- coordinating all of those elements is not trivial. Revision, rewrites, editing, checking for continuity- it's hard work and it takes a great deal of concentration. When I'm writing, I'm not good for much else. I do most of my writing late at night when other people are in bed and can't interrupt and the phone is unlikely to ring. If you DON'T have tunnel vision, then you probably aren't doing it right.

I've got my eye on a little planet in NGC 1300

Respectfully- you couldn't be more wrong. There's some first class writing talent here. Good enough for publication. Beyond that, there's a community here that is special and unique. It has people from all ages and around the world. Americans, and Aussies, and Canadians, OH MY! Germans, and Chinese and Czech, oh my! Every point on the political spectrum is covered from arch-conservative to revolutionary communist. It's a damned interesting place to be. It's not the layouts or the fonts or code that make GA so special: it's the people. People you get to meet and learn about- their lives, their stories and who they are. That can enrich you life in amazing ways. All of the people here add something to the community. Here's just a few I've been privileged to get to know- past and present. *HJ*,.::Jσey::.,abbillion, acassimaty, Adrian Michaels, Aeroplane, AFriendlyFace, Arpeggio, azula, B1ue, Bao, Bardeara, BeaStKid, Benji, BoyNeedsTherapy, Bugeye, Bumblebee, C James, C.L.L, cabbagepatchwife, Caipirinha, Camy, Chaz, Christian000, Clovis, colinian, ComeWhatMay, Comicality, Coming Undone, corvus, Curti, Cyberia_Desire, Cyhort, Darion, davek48, David McLeod, Demetz, Dezlboi, Dio, DomLuka, Drewbie, Elemental, Eros, Foolplaya, Gaytron87, Gay_In_Flanders, Graeme, Greedya, Hylas, Irony, ixyam, jalaki, James Albert, Jamie de Valen, JamieD, Jeebus, JensenC, Johnathan Colourfield, Jovian_w2002, JSmith, JTRandall, Juss, JustynC, Kavrik, Kitten, KiwiShadow, LittleBuddhaTW, Luc, lurker, maddy, Mari, Mark Arbor, Mark M Matthew, Meeko, Menorain, Menzoberranzen, meowsan, miguelsanchez55, MikeL, Mirage, MMandM, moonwolf, Morganx, Myk, Myr, myself_i_must_remake, Myval, Naiilo, Narcidius, NateB, Nephylim, Nerotorb, NickolasJames8, nicks_a_writer, nono, Objectivist, OperaGhostV, Pablo, Pai-kun, phrere, PrivateTim, Razor, rekop1, ricky, Rigel, Riley Jericho, Rush, S t e v e n, Sagar, Sendraguy, shadows, sidLove, Simon, Skiller1294, slaveboy, sumbloke, TalonRider, tator_tot2010, Team Emmett, TetRefine, thatboyChase, The Reaper, TheEggman61, TheFountainhead, TheUnwanted, TheZot, Thirdeye, Tiger, VickyS, vlista20, W.L., WatchPatRun, wildone, x Trevor x, xander, Xiao_Chun, Yang Bang, Young Sage It is this amazing community that lets a redneck from Mississippi get to know people from the UK, Canada, Mexico, Australia, India, China, Brazil, Uraguay, New Zealand, Germany, the Czech Republic, Israel, the Ukraine, Belarus, Slovenia and goodness knows how many places. And it teaches that they are all special, all unique, all worthy of knowing and even caring about. No. GA is under construction. Be patient. Maybe come back later when the paint is dry. There is something very special here that is well worth getting to know and to be a part of.

When you take a dump on something holy, when you ruin something sacred, when you make a joke of a song so beloved- that's heresy. Look- I never heard of Fergie before the half time superbowl show. I hope I never hear of that skank ever again. What she did to GNR's masterpiece Sweet Child of Mine was a crime against art. No body seems to give a f**k about offending our culture. They call us trailer trash. They make fun of our mullets. f**k'em. I got no use for their half assed bullshit. They live in their $10 a cup of bullshit double latte world, I live in mine. When you do some thing that f**king wrong, a big angry redneck such as myself should drag you out and beat the living shit out of you. Do you know how many broken hearts that song has cured? Do you know how many times someone wrapped the beauty of that song around them to keep out the ugliness of the world? Or- the times that song gave someone insight into their feelings? It's more than just a song. It's a treasure. If you cover it, do a damn good job of it. It's a hymn. It is sacred. It means more to people than you know. GNR's Sweet Child of Mine done right.

I find it interesting if you know.

It's all a matter of style. Narrative sets the mood, anchors the setting and performs a hundred other functions that dialogue alone can only handle awkwardly. There's a time and place for everything. It's up to the author to find the proper balance. Narrative allows you to set the most natural balance between showing and telling.

< Who are you? < What do you want?