JamesSavik

They lost already. Who cares?

I may be evil but I do have standards. Knowing that nobody has actually bothered to read the Pork, I mean Stimilus Package, I would insert the following clause: Amendment 301.23.451 All states and municipalaties that accept stimilius funds are required to have all of their citizens renounce their faith and begin to worship the evil goddess Globulus. In early April, 100 of the nations best basketball players must be sacrificed to Globulus to avoid a plague of boils and rats. Amendment 301.23.452 In the event of a plague of boils and rats, the federal goverenment will send 10,000 cats and 10,000 liters of hydrogen peroxide to the afflicted region. Amendment 301.23.452 In the event that Globulus is further angered, citizens are advised to put their heads between their legs and kiss their ass goodbye because after we've paid for all this bullshit we'll be so broke that we couldn't afford a firecracker much less fight off an evil diety. Hail Globulus! Give her your children because they annoy the shit out of me in restaurants and on airplanes. Ah the peace of Globulus the Child-eater. Boy are the right to lifers going to be pissed! Not only are millions of kids going to be eaten by a dusty Babylonian diety, they've got to give up Jebus too! Just remember- it's a change. Maybe not the one you were looking for but you didn't read the fine print did you? Bu-wah-hah-hah-hah

Too tall. A friend of mine had a short annoying red-headed girlfriend that got on everybodys nerves (and hit on everyone). One night she came around in a particulary bitchy mood and we had been drinking a little. That's where that one came from. The insults thrown my way are usually about shedding, fleas or age.

If you are looking for a fun, light read that might make you think, consider the Shadow Children series by Margaret Haddix. I agreed to test read the first book in the series, Among the Hidden, for a jr-high english teacher friend and ended up reading the whole series. I like books that establish a "consistent universe" that makes sense and Haddix did a very good job. The books are aimed at a teen auidance but they are page turners that deal with universals themes like fear, courage and how ordinary people overcome them and become extroidinary. This is not, ahummm... literature. It is a fun read for a rainy weekend.

Not a bad line but you can spice it up a little. Try: No sprechen sie Asshole...

Anybody want a Beast? I go great with blue carpet, don't shed, walk myself, only eat obnoxious people and can fix computers. A warm climate is a must, the Beast has bad joints. Need rafters to hang from when I sleep.

puppies are always cute and Labs are the royalty of the dog kingdom if you ask me. You should never have a dog smarter than you are so most people would be ineligible to own a Lab. Thank goodness they are good natured and take care of their dumber owners.

Three way relationships work all the time... until they are discovered and called affairs. Then it's lawyers and private investigators and judges OH MY!

I didn't answer the poll because it is clear that I don't have a f-ing clue.

At the end of the Cold War I was a scientist. I worked at Oak Ridge and Aberdeen. Like most old war dogs put out to pasture, I'm not sure what I am anymore.

you don't need one for the other to be true. the first law of thermodynamics states that energy can not be created or destroyed- it merely changes form. What are we at our most basic essence if not energy?

OK I'll try again... What's the matter? Did Oompa-Loompa land close early tonight?

Where have I lived? That is a difficult question. I can't remember all the lifetimes and people that I've been. I remember Babylon and her Hanging Gardens, They called us the Immortals there In the land of the rivers crescent. In Macedon I met a noble prince and followed him across the world but after a summer of conquest came a very long fall In Carthage I stood upon the walls in service of a king most fair The Romans bleed in horrific war killed us all and picked the corpses bare Again against Rome I losed my sword In a place called Massada Again the hoardes came and picked our bones In the land some call Holy. Upon the Steepes from the East came a plague called the Khan His riderers spread across the horizon At a last stand in Prague we broke them and they receeded like the tide. The Popes called for a rightious Crusade So pilgrims could visit the holy lands In pluder the noble lost their vision Many Lords of Chrisendom fell into heathen hands. At Agincout I joined Prince Henry and his merry few All the might of France fell that day and there in the mud we slew. Against the Franco Emperor, Prussia's horsemen stood like a wall Pressed we were to the bitter end We were at Waterloo to see him fall. Once again heeding freedom's cry This time in the Brave New World At Shiloh and Vicksburg we broke the gray we saw the end of slavery a worthy reason to die. In Flanders field we fough the Kaiser And broke his imperial ambition There we saw the horror of modern war and endless battles of attrition. Barely a generation later after an unjust peace, We fought against the evil one, The coming of a horrible beast Europe lay broken even after the war was one. When freedom is at stake, There is no need to call. The Immortals will always be there Until the day we can finally rest and there is freedom for all.

Battlestar Galactica The Liberation of New Caprica

This is Blackie. He decided that he liked me and came to stay. Blackie and his mate Sweetie. This is Boo. When he's not eating or sleeping, he reads the works of EleCivil.

Reality TV is what it is because its cheap to produce and people watch it. A reality TV show costs a mere fraction to produce compaired to a made for TV series drama or movie but it fills a time slot and advertisers pay to air their commercials at the same rates. Basically it is the worst of the worse video junkfood that the networks have to offer. I hear there is an all reality cable channel in the works. I can't wait to ignore that. They make a profit for their networks so the only way to kill them is not to watch.

We've all been here before Yesterday and tomorrow the same all that changes are the faces and names and the gods that we chose to blame The fire was burning long ago and we are merely fuel the river of time has no branches just a steady flow where nothing is brand new No one can say its destination We can only hold on for the ride yesterday was once tomorrow and soon tomorrow will be yesterday again If you seek a reason, ignore the lyrics and listen to the song for tomorrow will be yesterday again it will not take so long.

I can't make two-way relationships work so you'll understand if I take a pass on this one.

I can't imagine a more tragic and complete waste of consciousness. Reality TV is like curly baldness: it is a complete contradiction in terms.

I didn't see the short bus pull up.

for dummies books are a good cheap tutorial or review on a number of topics. They are one of the most cost-effective series there is when you are dealing with technology. Books on Math or tech start at ~$40 (if you're lucky). For Dummies books cost ~$20. Instead of calling them For Dummies books, they should call them For Smart People Who Want Results and Don't Want To Pay TOO Much.

It does if that feminine characteristic/quality is never knowing when to shut up.

There are some str8 people that think that all gay men are effeminate and if you're not, you are being deceitful in some way. Of course they are slack-jawed yokels with family wreaths instead of trees but they are out there.

You've all seen him: he's some horn-dog variation of leisure suit Larry that's drunk, has a white spot on his ring finger where the wedding ring in his pocket goes and he's looking to score. Unfortunately he is locked onto you. Tell us your best lines to make horn-dogs go hump someone elses leg. I'm sorry. I'm just not into inter-species dating You must have me mistaken with your right hand. drunk pickup line: what's your sign? A: I'm a Leo and you're obviously a feces. I'm your wife's private investigator. Oh please- not now. My chain saw is out being sharpened. Come back when my herpes isn't in remission. Sorry- too much self esteem