Nephylim

I'm feeling very sorry for Elijah and wondering why put bread on the table if no one is allowed to eat it. Neurotic mother makes neurotic son. It would be fun if he told her the truth. I guess he isn't going to any time soon. Shame

Astute but totally neurotic. He reminds me of a character from Gossip Girl. Not that I ever watched that of course I really like your writing and I'm looking forward to hearing more about Elijah. I still think he's heading for a fall and really looking forward to it. He may be neurotic but he's cocky as hell and I really don't like that about him

Elijah can't be bothered with a lot of things. It's that lethargy that worries me most. He's so screwed up it's a joy to watch. It so isn't going to last long. Is he going to descend or crash and burn. God how neurotic can one person be, to wonder whether it's better to be at the front or the back of the queue at the barber???? Very nice work as usual.

I'm beginning to understand more and more why Elijah is as he is. He's a social cripple and hiding it less and less well. I feel sorry for him now, sespite the fact that he is... undeniably a twat, especially on the outside. Pretentious is the word that comes to mind, but isn't everyone at eighteen, at least a little bit. I think sometimes it's hard to remember how young he is. He is very mature. but in an inexperienced way, that doesn't go very well together. I am very much enjoying your writing. It really does suck you in an spit you out. Nice work

I, against all the odds, like Elijah. I can imagine he would be an impossible person to care for but a great person to spend time with... all things to all people... no one to himself. I think the hollowness is the most honest part of him. Great story development. I keep waiting for the house of cards to fall

I agree with Anyta, the end is melancholic, at least from the other side, when I look back on my life and realise how many good friends, friends I thought would be forever, I've lost touch with for some reason or other. Change, on the other hand, doesn;t bother me at all. Actually, I'm warming to Elijah. He's a freak but he's got some excuses and he's a pretty cool one in a spoiled, screwed up kind of way. I think I agree with Tom,'s parents and, if things keep going the way they are he is so going to have a breakdown, which would be pretty spectacular to watch

Well, any story that comments that if Maths were a person they'd steal your lunch money, has to be worth SOMETHING. I hated maths and loved Art so Elijah scores points on that ground. Other than that I'm not sure I like him. He has SUCH a towering ego and if he thinks Sophie's spoiled... On the other hand, I'm pretty sure the confidence is false. He has an acute sense of other people though, as have you. All of my stories are character drived and I can't help but admire other writers who do the same thing, and you certainly do. As much as I'm not sure I like Elijah at this point I can totally admire the way you're drawing him, such a seething mass of contradiction. Characterisation and observation are definitely your strong points and I love the way you play to them. For a first story, it's pretty damn good

Congratulations to all the winners. You deserve it, each and every one of you (especially CJ )

I don't know whether to hug you or slap you. I guess the hug wins... just. You speak English a lot better than many of the native speakers I know. Well... okay, we're Welsh but most as first language English. You're charming, intelligent, knowledgeable, forthright, confident, as well as totally adorable.. Okay, maybe the last one won't help with job hunting... buy who known, maybe it will You'll be absolutely fine. I really really can't see you waiting tables hun

I can't keep it to one so there First I woul agree about Acedias' New Life. It has all the elements of a great film. Scenery, underwater scenes, locations, tension, class issues, abuse, mental health issues, men with their tops off... There is also the fact that the tension builds for a very long time without there being any actual sexua contact, It has elements of Brokeback mountain, and there are also other things going on that distract from the totally gay theme. I think it would definitely be commercially viable. Doesn anyone know a Hollywood producer? And can I come along to the casting please. I could bring my own couch. Second i would have to say that, unfortunately Comsie's stories would and could never make it to the big screen. There are lots of reasons for this. First, of course is the sex. The language I don't think would be an issue these days, but society isn't ready for all the gay sex. For the same reason, Mark Harbour will never be up there. As far as Comsie is concerned he also has two other strikes against him, especially with regard to GFD. Firstly, there are multiple gay couples and secondly the ages of the boys. Even though 16 is the age of consent I have seen very little with people of that age sexually active. Society doesn't like to think of 'children' having sex even though the evidence is all around them. It's the same thing with old people. When was the last time you saw an elderly couple kiss an have sex or even have it implied? That being said, as the question is what story I would like to see I have to say GFD purely because the story itself would look great up there. Without the sex I think it would be a fantastic YA movie.

Well, at least I don't have to prove I'm not a robot. I am ABSOLUTELY APPALLED. This is TERRIBLE. Okay... it was a good chapter but HOW DARE YOU!!!!! You left BS2 on a cliffie and you haven't resolved it. What happened to Adam, you bitch?

Don't you dare let that arrogant, self centered, selfish, did I mention arrogant pig of a man get you down. You're a beautiful man, your words show that. Spit in his eyes and mark it down to experience,

Thank you. Uplifting is a wonderful word to use for any author's work. Thank you so much for your comment.

Everything I write is totally character driven. The character comes alive before the plot and walks me through it. I don't think my stories are boring and mundane, but they are all about the characters.

Ariel's an elemental who can take any form he wants. He just chooses to adopt the form of a boy for Sam.

We now have two published authors in the family. My son's 'flash' has been accepted for publication as the winner of a school competition. The stories had to be 50 words or less THE HANGING There was a man called Maledos who was accused of many crimes. A wave of fear washed over him as the scarlet-stained, golden rope was fitted around his beck. The lever was pulled, the door opened. He saw darkness then light... saved by a magnificent golden angel. "You!" I am a proud proud Mamma

I can't resist a boy called Ariel

Nothing is too much if it's essential. If you need to make religion important to all or part of a story then you need to put it in, simple as. Now, how much you put in is another matter. If you are showing someone being swayed or affected by what is being said then you need to put a fair amount in, because it is reflected in the thought processes of the characters. Also, if you need to put in certain dialogue to clearly show the position of the speaker then, again necessary. If it's setting up a scene later on, or you need a certain amount of set up for the scene you're writing, again necessary. What you need to ask about each particular reading, verse, dialogue etc is whether it's necessary. If it is leave it in, if it's not consider whether it adds anything else to things such as flow, scene setting etc and if it does leave it in, if it doesn't shave it out.

Which is why I very rarely tell you where my stories are set Presumably, it's obvious from the writing they're set in the uk... or somewhere entirely alternate to it... Hostage, Fallen etc, but I very rarely give anything away as to precisely where it is. In that way no one can tell me I'm wrong because, in my world I'm alwyas right

I see where you're coming from, I think. In fact, I believe that you are asking exactly what Cia has said, namely, rather than think of a process gender should be considered to be what that individual considers themselves to be ie if a person in a physically female body considers themselves to be male then they are transgendered no matter where on the scale of 'change' they are. Whether it is purely mental or carried further into the physical. Obviously the same for a female encased in a physically male body. In that I would wholly agree.

For me, the key issue is the one raised by rustle. I have absolutely no problem with the concept and, in fact I have a problem with stereotyping BUT this is something that is imposed on the child by the parent and I have more of a problem with that. The child is the one who is going to bear the brunt of the taunts and teasing and it's hard enough to be a kid today.

He's beautiful. That's a gorgeous picture

Peanuts

One good thing about hitting the bottom is that the only way is up

I've always been demented so how would anyone know the difference. Glad you're feeling at least a little better.