Max and Josh - 23. We wish you a Merry Christmas

Disclaimer: This story includes sexual and romantic situations between consenting individuals. Any allusion to illicit or illegal activity, sexual or otherwise, is used only for enhancement of the story line and not promotion thereof. Remember AIDS, HIV and other STDs are a very real threat, please always practice safe sex.

I can prove copyright on this story so please don't copy or remove this story for personal use without my permission.

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Max and Josh 23: We wish you a Merry Christmas

Max had severe worries when Christmas Eve dawned the next day. He was worried that the usually family oriented time would bring Mark down to a new level of depression.

Given his own dark thoughts he was surprised when Mark cornered him in the kitchen after breakfast and asked if there was any way he could sneak him to the store to buy Christmas gifts.

“I want to get something for everyone. It’s the first time I’ve seen you guys in years and I want to get some gifts. Tomorrow is Christmas.” Mark said with a small smile.

“Well…yea we can do that…you have any idea what you want to get?” Max was still feeling a bit thrown…he didn’t expect Mark to be so…chipper.

“Nope, which is why I’m taking you with me.” Mark replied happily.

“Ahh I see how it is, you want to use me for my information. That’s cold little cousin.” Max shook his head for dramatic effect but smiled none the less.

“Oh come on, you know that this is just a thinly veiled attempt to get to spend time with my favorite cousin.” Mark replied seriously.

Max almost said that he was Mark’s only cousin but then he thought about his brother and had to force away a wave of annoyance. He didn’t want to think about him or his dad right now.

“Yea yea, a likely story. But I think it’s doable. The going part at least if not the sneaking off part. I think if we tried that mom might throttle us.” Max replied and Mark pouted a bit playfully.

“Come on man…I want it to be a surprise.” Mark said but Max just shook his head.

“We can still surprise Mamaw and Papaw.” Max smiled when Mark’s face lit up.

“Awesome, you talk to Aunt D; I’m going to go get dressed.” Mark smiled as he all but ran out of the room.

Max left the kitchen at a much more sedate pace and went to find his mother.

“Hey Mom, got a sec? We need to talk real fast.” Max said once he found her in what had been his uncle’s old office.

“Of course honey, what is it?” She asked as she looked up from the stack of envelopes she was looking through.

“Mark wants to go to the store to buy Christmas presents for everyone.” Max deadpanned and waited for her reaction.

“I think that is a great idea. Mom, Dad and I are going later. You boys can go now if you want. You can use my debit card if you forgot yours again.” She smiled and Max was worried.

“I did actually…but don’t you think it’s a bit odd…I mean the funeral was Friday.” Max said quietly, he didn’t want to drag everyone down again, especially not this close to Christmas but he was worried about Mark.

“Not really, this is just Mark’s way of processing things. There are going to be hard days ahead of him, for all of us. The best we can do is make the good days as good as we can so the bad days don’t seem as bad.” His mother said simply and Max smiled.

“You’re right. I guess I will take your card, I left mine back home, just brought my license.” Max said and his mother smiled knowingly.

“It’s in my purse, you know the limit.” She said and Max smiled and nodded before leaving.

Max, unlike Mark, had dressed before coming down stairs for breakfast so after he retrieved his mom’s debit card he waited for Mark at the foot of the stairs already dressed in his jacket and waiting with Mark’s on his arm.

“Awesome, we can go as soon as I ask Aunt Deb about something.” Mark said as he pulled on his jacket.

They headed for the office and Max noticed his cousin hesitate before pushing the door open.

“Hey Aunt Deb, I was wondering if you knew if the debit card I got when I opened my account would still work, it’s a couple of years old. I don’t think I was ever sent another one. I was always the one to get the mail and I never saw it.” Mark asked as soon as he pushed into the office.

“Mark you don’t have to use that money, that’s for you to get settled on.” Deborah said but Mark shook his head.

“I know, but I want to do this, I don’t plan on buying much, a new bed and some furniture, and maybe a laptop. I’ve got plenty for all that and still am able to get some Christmas stuff.” Mark said and Max smiled when he tossed out the puppy dog eyes that he was so famous for as a kid.

“Oh…alright. I suppose its ok. The card should be good if you haven’t received a new one. If it’s not though, you can use mine.” She replied and Max was sure Mark was doing a mental victory dance.

“Awesome…now, do you have any ideas what Grandma and Grandpa might like?” Mark asked hopefully.

Fifteen minutes later the two of them were off, Mark pouring over a short list of suggestions for their grandparents.

“You know you need to tell me what to get Aunt Deb.” Mark said seriously as he turned to Max looking nervous.

Max just smiled and watched the road. There were gifts back home that he had gotten for his mother so he’d have to find something different than what he had already gotten her.

“Well don’t forget that we are under orders not to spend a lot of money.” Max reminded, doing an impressive imitation of his mother’s voice.

“I’m not going to spend a lot of money, but I’m not going to go super cheap either. After Aunt Deb goes to court I’ll have plenty of money, aside from what I have in my account. I’ve got plenty to spend a little on my family…it’s been too long.” Mark replied and Max nodded and reached out to put a hand on his cousin’s shoulder.

“I know it has, and I may hate how it came about, but I’m glad that we’re going to have more time together.” Max said quietly, worried when Mark stayed quiet.

“I’m glad that we will too.” Mark said after a few minutes.

Max mentally kicked himself; he didn’t want to bring Mark down.

“Mom has gotten into Dan Brown recently. I heard her mention a couple weeks back how she’d like to get her own copies of the DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons. You could get her those.” Max said, hoping to perk Mark up.

“Are you sure…what are you going to get her?” Mark asked with a small smile.

“Yea I’m sure. I’m getting her the first season of CSI if I can find it; she came into the show late and wants to catch up.” Max replied happily.

“Cool, now I just need to decide on Grandma and Grandpa.” Mark said worriedly as he went over his list.

Happy that he had put Mark back in a good mood he turned his attention back to the road, looking for a good place to shop on Christmas Eve.

Two hours and several stores later the two cousins were sneaking their purchases into the house. After making sure his card still worked, (he bought a pack of gum when they first started shopping to test it out), Mark had tried to get Max to let him pay for all the gifts instead of using Aunt Deb’s card but out of self preservation Max convinced him otherwise.

He couldn’t however keep him from buying wrapping paper and name tags.

“Shh, be quiet…I don’t want them to know what we’re doing.” Mark hissed at him quietly as he stumbled into the empty work bench in the garage, the wrapping paper was bagged haphazardly and put him off balance.

“Will you relax; they already know what we’re doing. The only other person who is worse at deception than the two of us is my mom. The second Mamaw and Papaw found out we weren’t here they rounded on mom.” Max said as they stashed their purchases inside the garage cabinets before heading inside.

“It’s about time you two got back, your grandmother was about to loose her mind worrying about you.” Their grandfather’s voice reached them as soon as they stepped foot into the kitchen.

“We were only gone for a little while.” Mark replied as he pulled off his coat, looking a little sheepish.

“Yea well she’s a bit funny today; you boys need to watch yourselves.” The older man told them, both of them nodded in return.

“Mom, Mamaw; we’re home.” Max called out as the two of them moved further into the house, leaving their grandfather to wrestle with the coffee maker.

“Oh good you boys are back. Max, Josh called for you while you were gone, I told him I’d have him call you when you got back,” Caroline said as they moved into the living room, “Mark you need to come here though, you and I need to talk.” Her tone turned serious as she turned to Mark.

“Thanks Mamaw, I’ll go call him back.” Max said as he pushed Mark toward their grandmother before heading back into the kitchen for the cordless phone.

“Traitor!” He heard Mark call out as he left.

                                                           *          *          *

Josh was sitting on his bed, his head in one hand while the other rubbed up and down nervously on his leg. He really hoped Max would call him back soon…he was about to hyperventilate.

It was stupid, logically he knew that, but it didn’t stop him from being nervous as hell.

‘You shouldn’t need Max to mentally hold your hand…Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Evie and Uncle Nathan all know and they are all good with it so there is no reason to think that the rest of the family will go nuts over it.’ He told himself sternly but it didn’t really help, he still really wanted Max’s reassurance.

‘Jeez…I really have it bad don’t I?’ The silently thought question made him smile.

He had called up to Max’s Aunts place a little over an hour ago and was hoping that he’d call back soon. Josh didn’t really know how long he could excuse himself from the familial festivities to wait on Max to call back but he hoped he would soon.

Just as he was about give up and head downstairs though the cordless phone next to him rang, the ID showing the number he had called earlier.

“Hey baby boy, I heard you called looking for me. I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Mark and I went out for Christmas presents.” Max’s voice was light and happy and that above anything else eased the knot of worry in his chest.

“If you’re busy I can call you back later.” Josh replied, hoping like hell that Max didn’t take him up on that offer.

“I’m not busy, even if I was I’d take a break to get to talk to you…I miss you.” Max replied quietly.

“I miss you too…do you have any idea when you think you could be home?” Josh asked carefully, he didn’t want to sound like he was pushing.

“We talked over breakfast; we think we can be back by New Years Eve. On the twenty-sixth we’re going to ship the stuff my aunt left us. We’re sending it to a friend of my mom’s; my grandparents are doing the same.” Max’s voice was quiet and content; making Josh smile.

“That’s good to hear, I can’t wait to meet Mark.” Josh smiled when Max chuckled.

“I also can’t wait to feel those long, well muscled arms wrapped around me again.” Josh blushed furiously as Max’s voice took on a low, husky tone.

“Yea…I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t missing getting wrapped up in the sheets with you.” Josh tried to mimic’s Max’s tone but he knew he hadn’t pulled it off when Max laughed quietly over the fun.

“You suck at phone sex babe…but I love you anyway.” Max chuckled again and Josh felt himself blush once again.

“I guess I can’t argue with you on that. Loving you is actually why I called…I wanted to let you know that I’m going to tell my family tonight; at least the ones that don’t already know.” Josh was a little breathless out of nerves but Max practically cheered.

“That is awesome babe. God I wish I could be there with you…I know you’re freaking out.” Max said cheerfully and Josh felt some of his anxiety melt away.

“Yea I am…or at least I was till I talked with you. Now I’m feeling ten feet tall and bullet proof.” Josh tried for seriousness but Max just chuckled.

“No your not babe. But you should be. You want to know why?” Max asked sagely.

“Yes, I want to know why.” Josh replied as he lay back on his bed and closed his eyes; letting Max’s words wash over him.

“You should feel ten feet tall and bullet proof because you have this situation completely under control. You’re family loves you.” Max’s voice was warm and a balm to his worries.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be freaking out this bad…not after talking with Evie and Uncle Nathan, he wants to meet you by the way.” Josh said easily, forgetting that he hadn’t talked to Max since his accidental coming out.

“You talked to Evie and your uncle? How did that happen?” Max asked curiously.

Josh explained what had happened and by the end of it Max was laughing full out.

“God I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that scene; seeing you all red around the neck and ears and hugged up to your army hunk Uncle. That might be equal parts the hottest and cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” Max managed and Josh felt his ears go red.

“God, you are such a pervert…It was a sweet moment though.” Josh replied with a chuckle.

“I’m just yanking your chain babe. I’m sure it was. I think I like this guy already. From what you said he’s the one that had your worried the most. With him on your side how can you lose?” Max said and Josh could hear the smile in his voice.

“Maybe I can’t, I won’t really know till it’s over I guess. I don’t know how long everyone is staying after Christmas but if any of them are still here I’d like you to come over if you could, Evie really wants to know what you look like…You know I just realized the other day that I don’t have any pictures of you.” Josh said and Max hummed.

“You know babe I don’t have any of you…we need to rectify that.” Josh heard a trace of sneakiness in Max’s voice as he spoke.

“I mean a regular picture babe, g-rated…something that I can show my family.” Josh said nervously, which made Max laugh.

“I know…but there isn’t any law that says you can’t have another for personal use.” Max replied jokingly.

“I don’t need that kind of a picture. I can already picture you naked just fine.” Josh retorted before clamping a hand over his mouth, he couldn’t believe he just said that.

“Yes, I just got you to admit that you think about me naked, score one for me.” Max whooped into the phone.

“Like you don’t?” Josh asked playfully.

“Touché.” Max replied after a few moments of silence.

They bantered and played back and forth for a little while before Josh decided it was time for him to head downstairs, back into the fray that was his family the day before Christmas.

“Yea I need to go too, I guess. I think I heard my mom and my grandparents leave to do their own Christmas shopping so I need to go help Mark wrap stuff before they get back.” Max replied sounding somehow sad and happy at the same time.

“I love you Max…and I can’t wait to see you.” Josh said quietly.

“I love you too Josh…I’ll be home soon.” Max’s voice was equally quiet as the pair disconnected.

Josh sat quietly for a few more moments, using the quiet to collect his thoughts before he went downstairs.

He didn’t have much of a game plan, only the decision that he was going to tell the rest of his family he was gay. Part of him wanted to wait until after tomorrow; just on the off chance that someone had problems it wouldn’t ruin the day. Like he had told Max though, he didn’t know how long they would be staying after tomorrow.

“Hey Joshy, where you been? You’ve been gone for like two hours.” Evie asked as soon Josh stepped foot into the kitchen.

“I was upstairs talking to Max. Well for the last forty five minutes I was talking to Max. The hour before that I was waiting for him to call me back.” Josh replied as he put the phone back on its charger.

“Aww, that’s so cute, you’re pinning.” Evie crooned as she pretended to swoon.

“I am not pining after him…much. I needed to talk to him because I needed a little reassurance…I plan on telling the rest of the family that I’m gay…today.” Josh replied nervously.

Evie practically squealed in delight before throwing herself at him in a tight hug.

“Evie…not that I’m not grateful for your support but you’re cutting off my air supply.” Josh wheezed out…Evie had a hell of a grip for a girl her size.

“Ooopsy…sorry Joshy.” Evie said bashfully as she let him go.

“It’s cool; just remember for future reference that the lungs are in this area.” Josh said as he motioned to his chest.

“Don’t be a smart ass. Now, when do you plan on doing this?” Evie asked and he smiled sheepishly.

“Oh brother…you need to do it soon before you loose your nerve.” Evie said as he ran a hand over the back of his head.

“It shows that bad?” Josh asked and Evie just cocked an eyebrow at him, “Right, never mind. Yea, I’m nervous.”

“Well we could go with the old band-aid adage; a fast swipe, quick and painless.” Evie offered happily.

“We both know that that doesn’t actually work.” Josh said as he shook head slightly.

“You both know that what doesn’t actually work” Uncle Nathan’s voice cause the both of them to jump and turn toward the door.

“The band-aid adage, quick and painless. Josh wants to come out today.” Evie said matter of factly.

“Yea you’re right, that never really works. Coming off may be painless but it still hurts like a bitch afterward. If you’re serious about this though then I’d advise you to talk to your parent’s first.” His Uncle replied seriously.

“Yea, you’re probably right. I don’t suppose you know where they are, do you?” Josh asked and Nathan nodded before pushing open the kitchen door.

“Joshua, Emma, come ’ere for a minute please.” He called loudly into the living room.

“Daddy, manners.” Evie chided playfully.

“What, I said please.” Nathan said with a shrug as he moved past the pair of them to the fridge.

A few minutes later Josh’s parents pushed into the kitchen, each looking a little confused at the calling.

“What do you need Nathan?” His mother asked with a slight bit of disapproval in her voice. Josh knew that she didn’t much like Nathan’s seemingly rough disposition.

“Josh wants a word with you.” Nathan smiled at the pair of them as he pulled the pitcher of tea out of the fridge.

“What do you need son?” His dad asked him curiously.

“I wanted to talk to you guys about telling the rest of the family.” Josh said, feeling his face heat up a bit.

“Are you sure honey?” His mom asked and Josh noticed that her gaze shot to his uncle, who was now standing behind him and Evie sipping a glass of tea.

“Yea I’m sure. I’ve already inadvertently told Evie, who let slip to Uncle Nathan, they’re both ok with it. Uncle Nathan and I actually had a long talk about it the other night.” Josh said, partly in defense of his uncle and partly in defense of his choice.

“Ok, so when do you want to do this; today or tomorrow?” His dad asked him, ignoring the slight exchange between him and his mother.

“I was thinking today…if you guys think it’s OK I mean.” Josh answered somewhat sheepishly.

The two of them looked at each other but before either of them could say anything his uncle stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, hugging him back against him and resting his chin on Joshua’s shoulder.

“For what it’s worth I think it’s a good idea. Josh is your son so I know it isn’t any of my business or anything but what better opportunity will there be to tell his whole family?” Nathan said, his stubble scratching at his neck.

Josh blushed at bit at the hold but there was something very reassuring about having the older man’s reassurance at his back.

He watched as both his parents took in the sight of Nathan holding on to him and when his mom smiled slightly he knew they would go with him on it.

“I think it’s a good idea, but only if you’re one hundred percent sure hon.” His mom said and his dad echoed her sentiment.

“I do, I’m nervous as hell but I want to do it.” Josh answered steadily.

“Atta boy Josh.” His uncle said as he squeezed him tight before patting him hard on the chest.

“Well then, I guess there is no point in waiting…if you want to do this son then let’s go.” His dad said and Josh nodded before swallowing hard.

“Don’t worry Joshy, we’ll be with you the whole time.” Evie said as she slipped her hand into his.

“That’s right nephew.” His uncle said with another squeeze around his chest before letting his arms fall away.

Together the five of them moved back out in the large room where the rest of the family was gathered. Seeing that majority of them seemed to have their eyes glued to the door that led into the kitchen caused Josh’s nerves to spike up to an unnaturally high level.

“Is everything ok son?” His grandfather asked as he moved up to his dad.

“Yea Gramps, everything is good.” Josh said with more bravado that he was actually feeling.

“Josh has an announcement to make Dad, an important one.” His dad said quietly with a meaningful look at his grandfather.

“I see…well I suppose there is no better time than the present…how do you want to do it Josh, one at a time or all together?” His grandfather asked him and when he paled at the mention of one at a time the old man just chuckled.

“All together it is then. Yes, good idea, less nerve wracking to get it all done at once.” His grandfather said as he patted him on his shoulder.

“Hey, what’s going on? You need to get over here Josh; we need someone to beat at dominoes.” Phoebe called from across the room where her, Marley and Lindsey were sitting at a small table with a pile of dominoes in front of them.

“Quiet you two, can’t you tell that this is important?” The twin’s mother, Marion, scolded gently.

“What’s up Josh?” Lindsay asked as she tugged on a lock of her dark auburn hair.

“I, uh…since we’re all here…I thought I would just…I mean I figured that it would be the best time.” Josh stumbled over the words before dropping his head and closing his eyes.

He lifted his hand and used his fingers to count to three while he took a few deep breathes. Finishing his count down Josh looked up at his confused relatives.

“Since we’re all here I just want to officially come out of the closet. I’m gay.” Josh said as the blood rushed to his face.

A hush seemed to fall over the room and just as Josh was starting to panic Marley and Phoebe got up from the domino table and came up to him. Much to his surprise they each gave him a kiss on his cheek before taking him by each hand and pulling him over to the table.

“We’re happy for you, now come and sit down and tell us about your boyfriend while we beat you at dominoes.” Marley said happily.

As he was marched to the table Josh looked around the room to see each member of his family smiling at him. Looking back to where his parents were he caught their eye and beamed at them. Uncle Nathan gave him a wink and Evie looked ecstatic.

“His name is Max; he’s in Chicago right now.” Josh went on to tell his cousins all about Max while he beat their butts at five games of dominoes.

                                                           *          *          *

Christmas dawned cold and gray, but not depressing. The light coming through the thin curtains hit Max right in the eyes. Shielding his eyes with his arm he sat up and turned his back to the window; noticing as he did so that the bed was empty.

He didn’t think that Mark really needed him to share the bed anymore but there was no place else for him to sleep. His mother was sleeping on the couch while the grandparents took the spare room and both Max and Mark refused to sleep in his parents’ room.

Pulling on a new black sweat shirt, (his mother had bought him some clothes while her and his grandparents had gone Christmas shopping), he headed downstairs, the carpet tickling his bare feet.

“I was wondering when you were going to get up.” Mark said as he ambled into the kitchen.

Max looked around the kitchen blearily, still groggy, at all the food that had been put together.

“You’ve been busy.” Max said with a yawn as he took a seat at the counter.

“Yea I’ve been up for about an hour and half. I’m nowhere near as good a cook as Aunt D or Grandma but I know how to make a few things.” Mark said as he stirred pancake batter.

“You’ve made more than this?” Max asked as he motioned to the piles of fried eggs and sausage patties on the cookie sheet on the counter.

“Yea I’ve got bacon in the oven and as you can see I’m making waffles.” Mark replied as he motioned with his head to the waffle maker behind.

“I see. Well I’m going to put on some coffee for mom and the grand’s; they’ll be getting up soon.” Max said as he moved over to the cabinets in search of caffeine.

“Good, the muffins will be done soon. I hope they’re ok, it’s just a mix I found in the cabinet.” Mark said as he poured batter into the waffle maker.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine Mark. You really didn’t have to go through all this trouble. Mom and grandma are huge holiday cookers.” Max replied as he spooned coffee into the machine.

“Yea well I wanted to do something special. You’ve all been so great the last few days.” Mark said quietly.

Max turned the pot on before turning to Mark. He was looking at the counter and scuffing his toe back and forth along the floor.

“You don’t need to do anything for us Mark. You’re family.” Max said as he walked over to his cousin and pulled him into a hug.

Mark returned the hug fiercely and for a few minutes they just stood there holding each other tight.

“You’d better check your waffles.” Max said as he pulled away from his cousin.

“Damn!” Mark exclaimed as he ducked around his cousin to the waffle maker.

Max helped Mark with his preparations for the next half an hour until the kitchen was invaded by his mom and grandparents.

“Well, haven’t you two been hard at work?” Their grandmother said with a smile.

“Not me,” Max replied as he poured coffee for the three of them, “Mark is responsible for all this. I just made the joe.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad that you boys learned to cook, lord knows I can’t even boil water.” Their grandpa said with a smile.

“It’s as easy as following directions grandpa.” Mark said as he slipped the muffins out of the oven and pushed the eggs and sausage inside to warm up.

“Honey don’t encourage him…I don’t want to have to rebuild the kitchen.” Caroline admonished, making the others laugh.

“Papaw just needs some guidance. He did great when he helped me at thanksgiving.” Max replied in defense of the older man.

“Well, thank you Max.” His grandpa said with a smile.

“Anytime Papaw.” Max replied as he draped himself around the man’s shoulders and kissed his cheek, making his grandfather blush and the rest of the family laugh.

As soon as all the food was warmed up the five of them moved into the dinning room to eat. Grandpa said grace and Max couldn’t help the little bubble of happiness in his chest at having Mark back in the family. He hated that his aunt and uncle had passed away but at least Mark hadn’t been with them.

After breakfast was done him and Mark cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher before following their relatives into the living room.

Mark had told them while they were shopping that his dad hadn’t let them put up a Christmas tree or any decorations the last few years so the only thing that spoke of Christmas time in the house was a little pile of brightly wrapped packages in front of the fireplace.

“If you boys can stand to wait I thought we might play a few games and watch a couple of Christmas movies.” Grandpa Maxwell said as they came in.

It wasn’t until the older man spoke that Max noticed the stack of DVD’s and board games on the coffee table.

“You guys got more than Christmas presents yesterday, I see.” Max said with a smile.

“Well, what would a family holiday be without fun and games?” Caroline smiled at the pair of them.

Max saw the smile broaden on Mark’s face even as his eyes got teary. He wasn’t sure if he was thinking of his parents or not but Max wrapped an arm around his shoulder as they walked over to the coffee table and sat down on the floor.

“I vote for Frosty the Snowman and rummy.” Max smiled, remembering Mark’s favorite Christmas movie as a kid had been Frosty.

“Great minds think alike. That’s what we planned on too.” His mom said as she took a deck of cards and started shuffling them.

                                                           *          *          *

Tom was sitting quietly in his room, numerous pieces of crumpled and wadded up paper were scattered around his desk chair. Tom had been doing his best to follow Mr. Watchers advice and had been trying to create wholly fictional characters in his sketch work, or change his subjects entirely…and neither process had been going that well.

Groaning in frustration he tore another sheet of paper from the sketch pad, crumpled it and tossed it to the floor with the rest. He had been working half the night at his sketches, unable to sleep after the night before.

Thinking that his parents would be gone most of Christmas Eve, like they usually were, he sat down on the couch to draw the Christmas tree, something he had done every year when he was a kid…before his dad made him stop sketching.

Figuring that his parents wouldn’t be home for awhile Tom had been careless and left his sketch pad on the couch while he ran back up to get another pencil. He never heard his parents come in so when he walked back into the living room to see his dad holding his sketch pad it damn near made his heart stop.

His father had ripped out the Christmas tree sketch and right before his eyes tore it to shreds before throwing it into the unlit fireplace…before tossing the rest of the book in along with it.

Tom stood frozen in place as he watched his dad light the fire and the sketch and pad reduced to ashes.

“’Maybe this time this will be the last I see the damned thing.’” His dad had said quietly as he turned away from the curling paper and cardboard.

His mother had looked so scared and upset throughout all of it but made no move to stop it and her only comfort had been a slight caress of his hand when she passed him.

After that Tom had retreated to his room and had been there ever since, only making trips to the bathroom down the hall.

‘Jokes on him though…only thing he burned was a blank pad.’ The savage thought had given Tom some small pleasure at first but soon the anger and bitterness returned and wiped away that spark.

He had tried so many times to sketch, tried so many different subjects; but his mind was so filled with dark images and thoughts that it made his hands shake. He was tired and hungry, angry, sad, and even a little scared.

Pushing away from his desk he stooped and gathered the crumpled papers around him and threw them into the small trashcan by his desk before lying down on his bed. He pulled the blanket up around him and buried his face in one of his pillows.

Despite the warmth of the bed, blanket and the room around him Tom couldn’t help but feel cold, a deep penetrating cold that seemed to go all the way down to his bones. He felt as if he were standing outside in the gray, snowy cold instead of in the warmth of his room.

As he lay there Tom was forced to admit something that he had been fighting against ever since he started on his little journey of self discovery…he was lonely. He wanted what he saw between Max and Josh…between Frank and Kylie…between any of the other dozen couples he saw happy and smiling everyday.

He ignored the silent tears that leaked from the corners of his eyes and he buried his face deeper into the pillow.

‘Might as well get used to being alone Tommy boy…even if your dad wouldn’t kill you for it who would want to be around you…knowing what you’ve done…the people you’ve hurt..’ That darker part of his mind whispered the same part that always fed his violent sketches.

Tom just let all the darkness wash over him. It didn’t matter anymore…nothing mattered, really. Even getting away from his dad and people who knew him wouldn’t matter…he’d never be brave enough to actually come out of the closet, strong enough to try and find love.

Tom wasn’t aware that he had fallen asleep until he woke up much later in the day. Sitting up the first thing he saw was tray of food and a small hastily wrapped package on his nightstand.

He picked up the plate first and tucked into the slices of turkey, chunks of ham, dressing, potatoes, and green beans; obviously part of Christmas lunch that he hadn’t been invited down for.

Once his hunger was satisfied he picked up the gift, he hadn’t expected to receive anything this year given how he had pissed off his father, even if he did know that there were a few under the tree with his name on them.

This one though wasn’t one of those; the paper was different; older. He opened it carefully and pulled out his old sketching kit. His uncle had sent to him years ago when he first showed the talent for drawing and sketch work.

It was a very nice kit, ten colored pencils, four sketching pencils, graphite pencil, two blending stumps, a sandpaper block, sharpener and eraser. The kit had also come with a twenty five page sketch pad but the pages had been filled up long ago. If he remembered right it was still stored in his closet.

The sketching and graphite pencils had shortened in the small time he had the kit before his dad took it from him but the colored pencils were still as long as they had been. Tom had never done much work in color, preferring the more classic look of black and white.

He spent so much time admiring the kit that he didn’t notice the card that had slipped out of it at first.

‘I found this Angel. I love you.’ He read quietly, recognizing his mothers’ handwriting easily.

Smiling slightly Tom took the kit over to his desk and turned to a fresh page in his sketch book and stared down at the blank page, willing something to come to him.

‘Take the characteristics that you find appealing and draw them into your sketch.’ Mr. Watcher’s words echoed in his head.

Closing his eyes Tom tried to picture the things he found attractive. Try as he might though the only images he could come up with were the guys that he had bullied over the years. As he was going over the images though he realized that he was attracted to each of them.

Thrilled by his new discovery Tom focused on the aspects that attracted him and realized that he was attracted to them because of their build, he had a thing for smaller guys.

Unbidden new images jumped to his mind, scenes of him wrapped protectively around a smaller man, holding and kissing and caressing…his actions the complete opposite of the things he had done in the past.

Smiling a little bit as he opened his eyes he wondered if it could ever be true, ever be real. With a pang of guilt, sadness and even a little anger he realized that it probably never would be.

Fearing the encroachment of dark thoughts again Tom tried to focus on something else and his eyes landed on the card his mother had included with his kit.

‘I found this Angel. I love you.’ With sudden inspiration Tom picked up one of the old sketching pencils, tested the point, and set to work.

                                                           *          *          *

Mark hummed quietly along with the Christmas songs that were still playing on the radio even though Christmas had come and gone.

“You sure you want to do this today, Christmas was just yesterday. We could wait another day or two.” Max said from next to him as he navigated the chilly streets.

Mark smiled as he remembered the day before. After a five hour Christmas movie marathon, lunch, and more than a few board and card games the five of them had sat down to opening their gifts.

Mark was currently sporting the new boots and thick winter coat from his grandparents. His aunt had given him a copy of hers and Max’s house key and a couple of gift cards for him to pick out some new stuff for when they moved.

He remembered how nervous she had been when he unwrapped the cards but Mark understood. After so long apart none of them were quite sure of Mark’s interests or hobbies any more; to be honest Mark wasn’t even sure himself anymore.

“Earth to Mark.” Max’s voice snapped him out of his memories.

“Yea sorry about that, I was thinking about yesterday. And yes I am sure I want to do this today. Now that Christmas is over I want to get all this done as soon as we can so we can get back to Indiana. I’m sure you’re missing your home and your friends and I don’t want Aunt Deb to get in trouble with her job. Besides, Mrs. Watkins called us.” Mark replied evenly.

“I do miss home and I do miss my friends but you are important too Mark. Don’t worry about mom either; she has the days to cover it. We just don’t want to rush you.” Mark could hear the careful tone in his cousin’s voice as he spoke.

“I know Max, and I appreciate what you guys are doing, but I don’t know how much longer I can stay in the house.” Mark replied quietly before directing Max to take a left.

“How so?” Max asked in what Mark had come to call his ‘clinical’ voice.

Mark buried a small laugh before he answered.

“It’s just…I can’t go into a single room without thinking about them and it just brings me down.

I don’t want to forget about them, that’s not what this is about. But having it thrown at me everyday, especially when I wake up every morning and remember that they’re not there… it just makes it harder to get through the day.” Mark did his best to keep his voice even as he spoke but he couldn’t suppress the slight warble.

Lost in his thoughts Mark jumped a little bit when he felt Max put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll talk to mom about starting on the packing when we get back.” Max’s voice was understanding but heavy with emotion.

“Thanks Max,” Mark said as he put a hand over his cousins, “You should really put both hands on the wheel though, it’s the next right.” Mark smiled as he spoke, wanting to ease the tension.

Max just smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“Where is this place at?” Max asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Mark looked around at the snow covered yards to get his bearings.

“Fifth on the right, red Cadillac in the driveway.” Mark pointed and Max let out a low whistle at the sight of the shiny, mint vehicle.

Mark just smiled as Max gaped at the car as the two of them got out.

“I never figured you for a car guy Max.” Mark chuckled as he pressed the doorbell.

“I’m not…but have you seen that car?” Max asked, still drooling at the car.

Mark didn’t get the chance to answer as the door swung open to reveal Mrs. Watkins; her hair pinned up in rollers but somehow managed to look every bit as elegant as she had the day of the funeral, even in rollers and sweats.

“Oh Mark honey; I thought I’d have more time. I look a total mess.” Mrs. Watkins chirped as her hands went to her hair.

“Sorry about that, we figured we’d have more of an issue with my aunt letting us out of the house. You look fine though.” Mark said as the two of them moved into the house at her motion. Aunt Deb hadn’t been keen on letting Max and him out the day after Christmas, on snowy roads, alone. She was a real worrier.

“Always such a sweet talker honey. Come on in and sit down, I have the box in the living room.” She said as she motioned them into the living room.

Mark just smiled, he couldn’t help but feel light hearted around Mrs. Watkins, even given what he was there for; she just had a knack for making people feel better.

“Oh you brought this sturdy young man with you too. Max right?” Mrs. Watkins beamed good naturedly at Max, making him blush.

“Yes Ma’am, Mark is my baby cousin.” Max replied through his blush.

“I’m barely six months younger than you; I don’t think that qualifies me as a baby cousin.” Mark said with mock indignity and Max smiled.

“How about little cousin then? I’ve got a good six inches on you.” Max retorted Mrs. Watkins burst out laughing.

“Oh you two are a pair,” She said as she held her sides, “You two put me in mind of my boys when they were young.”

Max and Mark just beamed as they pushed into the living room, at the sight of the box sitting before the couch Mark paled a little bit and Max put a hand on his shoulder and helped him forward.

Once the three of them had taken a seat Mrs. Watkins pushed the box closer to him.

“I don’t know what all is in here, your mother brought it to me a few years ago and asked me to keep it for you.” She said quietly as Mark opened the box.

Mark smiled at the jumble of items and objects inside. He figured to anyone else it wouldn’t look like anything more than junk but to Mark it was a treasure chest.

“What’s all this?” Max asked right on time.

“Some of my favorite things ever.” Mark replied quietly as he pulled out a framed photo of himself and Max as kids, no more than six years old. They were both standing shirtless with an arm around each other’s shoulders; in the background you could see the small pond on his grandparent’s farm. It wasn’t really deep enough to swim in but he and Max would still wade out into and have splash fights.

“I remember that summer,” Max said as he looked over Mark’s shoulder at the picture, “We stayed with them for a month and only slept inside when it rained. Papaw set that big tent up in the back yard and showed us how to make and care for a campfire.” Max smiled and Mark nodded, a small smile on his face.

Mark put the picture aside and moved things around inside, looking things over. A lot of it was just small knickknacks and mementoes he had collected over the years. At the bottom was his old laptop. It was a few years out of date when he first got it, now though it was nearing ancient.

Mark pulled it out and wiped some of the dust off its top, noticing as he did that the power cord and several of his old notebooks at the bottom.

“What’s that grin about cousin?” Max asked and Mark carefully rearranged his face into what he hoped was an inconspicuous look.

“Nothing…I’m just glad mom kept all this stuff for me.” Mark said truthfully as he set the laptop and photo back inside the box.

Mrs. Watkins smiled slightly and reached out and put a hand on Mark’s knee.

“Honey I don’t know what has been happening these last few years but I do know that your momma had been so sad. The day she brought me that box she was in tears and it took me quite sometime to get her calmed down enough to talk to me.” Mrs. Watkins said and Mark paled a bit.

Mark took a deep breath and unbidden the words spilled from his mouth, telling Mrs. Watkins everything that had happened. By the time he was finished both Mark and Mrs. Watkins had tears rolling down their faces.

“I knew that there was something the day she brought me all of this but she never told me anything more then that she needed me to keep it for her.

I knew she was distraught and nothing I could say consoled her. Before she left I told her that if there was anything that she needed that I would be here for her and I told her that again many times over the years…I even offered her, and you, a place to stay numerous times but she never agreed.” Mrs. Watkins said and Mark nodded and slipped his hand into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a folded sheet of paper.

“I know…she…she wrote it all in here,” Mark said as he held the letter tightly, “She was afraid to try and leave dad. Without him she had nothing, no money, no house…they got married right out of high school. She had no job skills or experience. Dad had always taken care of her and provided for her.

She was afraid that if she left him that he could get custody of me since she had no way of providing for me. She…she thought…she thought that it would be best if we stayed till I turned eighteen…she was taking money and socking it away for me…I would be relatively taken care of…she didn’t worry about herself.” Mark’s voice was quiet but there was a small smile on his face.

Mrs. Watkins smiled too and lifted one hand to wipe away the tears on his cheeks.

“She did the right thing in the end; I’m assuming that you’ll be going to live with your Aunt now?’ Mrs. Watkins asked Mark nodded.

“Yes Ma’am. She lives in Indiana. I don’t know when we’ll be leaving though. There is so much that needs to be taken care of.” Mark replied before explaining all the things he had to do…Mrs. Watkins looked fairly shocked when she heard that Mark’s father had only agreed to leave him the house and nothing else.

“That is just terrible; leaving everything he has to some stranger instead of his own son. He could have at least done the right thing in death.” She said with a shake of the head.

“I know…I don’t really care to be honest…I just wish they’d get in touch with us soon so I can get it over with.” Mark replied quietly.

“What are you going to do with the house? Will you keep it?” Mrs. Watkins asked and mark shrugged.

“I haven’t figured it out yet. My Aunt will have to go to court over the trust. It’ll probably be a month or two so hopefully I’ll have figured something out by then.” Mark replied, looking confused.

“Well honey you let me know what you decide. If you want to sell the place or even rent it I might me able to find some folks that would be interested.” Mrs. Watkins said and Mark smiled.

“I’ll really miss you.” Mark said quietly.

“Oh honey I’ll miss you too. That is why you will keep in touch with me. I fully expect biweekly emails and a monthly phone call.” She said in wonderfully matter of fact way.

Mark just smiled.

                                                           *          *          *

Max smiled happily as he drove back to Mark’s, mostly because Mark was happier after talking with Mrs. Watkins. Max knew that Mark’s emotions were volatile right now, he had been up and down the spectrum a lot in the last few days but Max was happy anytime his cousin was happy.

Max had a feeling that the happiness was going to evaporate though the second he saw the shiny black Beamer in the driveway of his aunt and uncle’s house.

“Do you know whose car that is?” Max asked as he pulled the van in alongside it.

“No, I’ve never seen it before…you’re not going to fawn over that one too are you?” Mark asked with a cheeky smile but Max shook his head.

He had no intention of fawning over the car…for some reason he knew that this car meant trouble.

As they walked past, Max let his hand wander over the hood though it was still pretty hot.

The two of them were inside and just hanging up their jackets when Max’s sense of foreboding got worse… he could hear a low grumble of voices coming from the living room.

“…I really must insist; I have a legal right to be here…to claim what is mine.” The statement issued from the tall, skinny blond standing rigid in the living room as he and Mark pushed open the door.

“Miss Anders, what are you doing here?” Mark said and Max could hear the confusion in his voice.

The blond turned around and hinged on a smile Max was pretty sure was suppose to come off as comforting or even sympathetic but it failed miserably and came off as more of a leer.

“Oh Mark…I was so sorry to hear about your parents passing.” She said as she stepped closer with her arms out as if to hug Mark.

Mark though took a step back and stood slightly behind Max.

“What are you doing here…the service was three days ago.” Mark asked again, this time with more force.

“I was contacted by a lawyer this morning. It turns out that Mr. Blevins left me some things in his will. Everything he owned aside from the house actually.” She said with a small yet self satisfied smile.

“So you decided to run over here as fast as you could to try and collect.” Max said heatedly, drawing her leer from his cousin and on to himself.

“That is really none of your business young man…Nor is there any reason for hostility; I’m simply here to collect what’s due to me.” Her leer faltered now and became much more like a sneer.

At her words though both his grandparents and his mother stepped forward but it was Mark who interceded.

“Please feel free to either leave me your file or send me copies of the list, along with photos and I will separate all the items for you to come and pack separately but I don’t want you in my house.” Mark’s voice was quiet but determined.

“I don’t believe you have the right to keep from getting what belongs to me.” Miss Anders replied sweetly but Max’s mom stepped in now.

“He isn’t trying to keep you from anything. In fact he is making a very reasonable attempt to make sure that you get what belongs to you. Surely you can see though the kind of distress it would cause him to have a strange woman that he barely knows wandering through his house.” She said and Miss. Anders arched an eye brow at her.

“Forgive me if I can’t place a lot of trust in an over emotional child who is likely jealous that his father left him nothing.” The blond said rudely and both his mother and grandmother advance on the woman. Before he could make a move to stop them though, Grandpa stepped between them.

“You will not insult a member of my family.” Maxwell spoke with a hint of heat in his voice.

“Or what?” Miss Anders asked and the tone of her voice made it clear that she was challenging him.

Mark spoke up though before the three women could attempt to kill each other.

“Miss. Anders, get out of my house before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing. My aunt may be the trustee of my inheritance but I never agreed to allow you into the house. As I said please feel free to leave a list and I’ll make sure that you get everything.” Mark’s tone was enough to give the older woman pause before holding out the file, which Max took quickly.

“I want everything sorted and ready to be packed by Friday or I will contact the police and an attorney.” She said before stalking out.

No one moved until they heard the front door slam closed, the echo spreading throughout the entire house.

Max was the first one to move, stepping up close behind Mark and putting his hands on his tense shoulders.

“Who the hell was that Mark?” Max asked quietly.

“Ms. Ramona Anders. Dad’s personal secretary…and his mistress.” Mark replied stiffly.

Max could feel the younger man shaking and guided him into the living room and pushed him to sit on the sofa.

“How do you know?” Max asked and Mark shrugged.

“I wasn’t entirely sure until today, after he hired her though he started working late a lot. He went out for business dinners at least once a week and then there were late night phone calls, it would ring twice and hang up then dad would call back. Her showing up today, being the one who got everything dad has…that pretty much cemented my suspicion.

Beside Max, you saw her car; she couldn’t afford that nice a ride on what secretary’s make at Dad’s office, trust me I know.” Mark replied and far from sounding upset he actually sounded relieved.

“That…that is un-freaking-believable,” Max replied loudly as sudden rage filled him up, “It wasn’t enough for him to make Mark and Aunt Caroline miserable he had to go and start sleeping with his damn secretary too?!” Max fumed as he started to pace, unaware of the bewildered looks he was getting from his family.

“It isn’t fair…what did they do to deserve to be treated like that?” Max couldn’t stop pacing, even when he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes.

As he turned though, strong hands gripped his arms and he was pulled into a tight embrace. Max went willingly as he was pulled to his grandpa’s chest, the scent of Old Spice and peppermint was unmistakable and comforting.

“Shh, its okay son… you’re right; Mark and Caroline didn’t deserve to be treated like that…and neither did you or your mother.” He whispered roughly as a hand stroked his back.

The older man’s statement evoked memories and feelings that Max had long buried, things that had been silently pushing back against his barriers as they discovered the truth about Mark’s life.

Max had been forcing them all down again, not wanting them to get in the way while he tried to help Mark. Now though, he couldn’t stop the onslaught to his mind, the dam had been broken with the new information that his Uncle had been cheating on Aunt Caroline on top of everything else that they had learned.

“It’s alright Max, just let it all out. It’s all over now.” His grandfather said quietly as rough and calloused fingers cupped his neck.

It took a few minutes but under his Grandfathers ministrations Max managed to calm down and pulled away from the older man slightly.

“I’m sorry about that.” Max said quietly, embarrassment heating up the back of his neck.

“It’s alright son…I should have seen how badly this would effect you.” Deborah said quietly.

Before Max had a chance to reply Mark came up to him and hugged him around the waist.

“Thanks for being here for me Max…I know it hasn’t been easy to put up with me. I’m sorry that it tore you up so much.” Mark muttered quietly.

Max hugged Mark tight, not wanting his smaller cousin to be upset.

“I haven’t been ‘putting up with you’. You’re my cousin and I’ve been happy to be here for you…As for the rest…it’s my fault. I guess I haven’t really dealt with all the issues that Dad taking off on us left me with.” Max replied as Mark pulled away a little bit, there were small tears at the corners of his eyes but he had a small smile none the less.

“For a kid who wants to be a shrink you don’t know a lot about repression Max.” Caroline said with a small smile, lightening the mood instantly.

“No, I guess I don’t. Come on though, let’s get busy. We’ve got a lot to do.” Max said and the others agreed.

*********************************************************************************************************

I want to thank Rush for her work in editing, without her I would be nowhere. As always, I love to get your thoughts and opinions so feel free to email me at allenarcane88@yahoo.com, drop me a PM, write me a review or visit the discussion forum.

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