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    Puppilull
  • Puppilull
  • Author
  • 04/10/2016
  • 211 Words
  • 813 Views
  • 10 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Puppilull's poetry prompts - 17. Poetry prompt 19 - Lullaby

Write lyrics to accompany George Gershwin's piano version of his composition, Lullaby. The lyrics begin at minute 0:27. Choose any metre and rhyme scheme you think appropriate. You also decide if you want to write a song about sleep, or a song to put someone to sleep.

 

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Come, lay your head down to sleep

Lay your head down to rest

In dreams you’ll keep

Hoping for the best

 

When I have bid you good night

My true wish for you’s meek

Turn out the light

Find what you seek

 

I know nighttime is very often blue

Be a friend to you is all that I can do

 

Maybe you’ll see who you miss

Someone you’re longing for

Briefest of kiss

Wanting much more

 

If I could hold your heart,

Shelter you from that pain

Knowing from start

My wish is vain

 

Inside that beautiful mind

There’s so much to explore

World must be blind

Missing that core

 

It’s so strange that the world does not seem to see

What is there and so very clear to me

 

Soon when you wake from your dream

With someone you adore

Or so it will seem

Till he starts to snore

I only did lyrics up until 3.25. I couldn't handle 9 min of lyrics. My brain would implode...
Hope you can follow the music! https://www.youtube....h?v=mk2TMZNv0Rc
Copyright © 2016 Puppilull; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 5
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

AC Benus

The length is perfect. You have taken the lyrics right to the start of the development section of the music (min 3:35), and then I started reading again at the top. You words fit the development section perfectly and the key change adds new depth to them. With the start of the recapitulation section (about min. 4:20), I started at the top again and it all works great.

 

My favorite moment is when you blend the music with the lyrics:
"I know nighttime is very often blue
Be a friend to you is all that I can do"
There's a depth the melody adds here that is truly beautiful, imo.

 

Thanks for taking the Poetry Prompt challenge, and for doing such a great job!

Puppilull
On 04/12/2016 02:58 AM, aditus said:

I hummed your words, very nice. Love it. Some parts were a little muddled in regards of the music, not your words, at least for my ears. A difficult task you mastered beautifully.

I thought about recording a version of me singing it, but I think I would be too embarrassed... It was a bit difficult to match the lyrics to the music since the pianoe is so ornamental (as it should be in a solo piece of course) and I missed sheet music. Glad you liked it though!

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Puppilull
On 04/12/2016 02:36 AM, AC Benus said:

The length is perfect. You have taken the lyrics right to the start of the development section of the music (min 3:35), and then I started reading again at the top. You words fit the development section perfectly and the key change adds new depth to them. With the start of the recapitulation section (about min. 4:20), I started at the top again and it all works great.

 

My favorite moment is when you blend the music with the lyrics:

"I know nighttime is very often blue

Be a friend to you is all that I can do"

There's a depth the melody adds here that is truly beautiful, imo.

 

Thanks for taking the Poetry Prompt challenge, and for doing such a great job!

This was kind of hard, since I focused more on matching the lyrics to the music and couldn't rely on syllable counting (my usual crutch when writing poetry). At the same time I thought a lullaby has to rhyme...

 

I liked the passage you quoted the best too actually.

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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