Chapter 18

Fuck, it was hard to breathe.

And my ears were ringing.

I fought to drag in air that had been forcefully expelled when I'd hit the ground. It felt like Master had punched me in the gut again, even though I knew that wasn't the case. I struggled to get my hands under me, to alleviate the pressure on my ribs, but a stabbing ache in my upper back had me gasping for breath again.

Then another force intensified the pain: a hand smacked down on that same painful spot on my spine and shoved. "Stay down!" a voice snapped through the tinny ringing in my ears.

I collapsed back down. Sounds like a good idea.

I curled to my side slightly, just enough to take the pressure off my lungs. As oxygen finally started returning to my brain, I tried to make out what was happening. And now that the odd silent ringing was fading away, the world around me blared back to life.

"—Liam!"

"—My lord! Are you—"

"—no one else here, sir—"

"—fine! Get him up!"

"—damn. Where's Barrett?" I was able to pick out the viscount's voice among the melee of voices.

A coughing fit fell into an odd gurgle.

"Fucking hell," Ashton cursed. "Your aim's just a little too good, Liam. I was hoping we could take him alive."

My breath hitched. Richard. Was he dead?

"Well, I thought you'd prefer him dead instead of the little one," Liam's voice carried back.

"Quite right." A soft slapping on something. "Thank you. I can't believe he took off like that."

"He saved you," Liam's voice had an odd reverence to it that I hadn't heard before. "That bastard was seconds from figuring out you weren't Charlie, and he wouldn't have hesitated to shoot you. And the way he was turned, I didn't have the shot until the boy drew him towards us."

I couldn't understand Ashton's muffled response, but I heard footsteps moving closer.

"Kye, are you all right?"

I dragged another lungful of air in, hoping to be able to respond.

"I may have winded him, sir." The voice that had ordered me down. "When I elbowed him in the back to knock him down out of the way, I think I might have hit him too hard."

I groaned. So that's what the burst of pain between my shoulder blades had been. Damn, the man had sharp elbows.

A hand wrapped around my bicep, rolling me to my side. I blinked up into the darkness, trying to focus on the man whose touch I was beginning to crave. It was stupid, and I knew I shouldn't want it, let alone hope for it, but I was beginning to think someone might actually care about me. Might actually think I was worth more than as just a commodity to sell off as my father had done, or more than just a whore as Master Barrett had thought of me.

"Kye?" Strong hands were pulling me up.

"You all right, boy?" The man who'd knocked me down stood behind the viscount peering down at me waiting anxiously for me to answer him.

I tried to get my throat to work, but I must have breathed in some dust and dirt from my recent contact with the ground. I managed to nod as I coughed.

"I really didn't mean to hit you so hard," the man apologized. "I was just trying to get you out of the way. That man was aiming for ya."

I nodded fervently, hoping he understood that I appreciated his effort, since I still couldn't seem to talk.

"Kye? Are you sure you're all right?" The worry etching through Ashton's voice sent a sliver of warmth through my heart.

More nodding as I was helped up and Ashton grabbed me under one arm. I startled when I felt another hand on my other arm from someone behind me that I hadn't known was even there. I was shocked to see Liam helping me stand, his grip firm but, for once, not menacing.

His lips were in a tight, thin line, and he offered a sharp nod that, for a moment, I'd have sworn looked like approval. But that couldn't possibly be right. The man despised me.

I winced as I straightened, certain now I was going to have a lovely bruise on my upper back.

"Oh, hell, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean—" I wasn't sure why the man was still rambling on his apologies. I was fine. He'd just been safeguarding me.

"I-I'm not hurt," I croaked out to ease his platitudes.

"Gavin, it's fine," the viscount assured. "You were just protecting him. We know that. He knows that."

Gavin gestured brokenly. "He was just so much smaller than I'd realized... so much lighter... that I—"

"Gav!" Liam cut him off. "The boy's fine. Go help Averitt and Tibbs get that worthless worm on the horse."

As the man hurried off, Lord Ashton chuckled as his steward shook his head.

"I thought he'd never stop apologizing," Liam mumbled before he leveled his gaze at me. "You aren't hurt, right, boy?"

I nodded again, surprised he cared to know. "N-no, sir, not hurt, sir."

Liam grunted.

"Come on, let's get moving." Lord Ashton pulled gently on my arm. "It's a bit of a walk, and we're all tired."

I looked over to see the other men had hoisted my old master's steward onto the back of the horse. His limp body reminding me that Liam had killed the man—to keep him from shooting me.

Lord Ashton nodded, and one of the men started leading the horse out of the grove. The viscount gently guided me along, with Liam following resolutely behind us. I carefully tried to pick my way through the woods, avoiding roots and fallen limbs as best as I could with my bare feet. I wasn't as used to the rough ground as I had been living on the farm years ago, and my soles were tender now after years of being only indoors. Weariness leeched into my body as the frenzy of the night began to fade into a fatigued calm.

Richard was dead.

The thought seemed almost surreal as my mind drifted over all the times he'd backhanded me or cuffed the back of my head for not responding quick enough or for causing Mas—Barrett—problems. He'd never hurt me quite as much as the marquis, but I could tell he wanted to sometimes. Knowing I was Barrett's property, and the marquis wanted to torment me himself, was probably the only thing that held Richard back.

My shoulders relaxed slightly as I realized he could never hurt me again. That thought jolted me. Could I now be free of the constant pain my body had lived in for so many years, free from the turmoil of dread and fear that plagued me every day?

Here, I might be hated for what I'd done, but—except for Liam's threats of violence—I hadn't been really hurt. And Tareth was here; maybe he would eventually forgive my life as Barrett's whore. And Lord Ashton... he seemed to... even like me... at least a little. Maybe...

Abruptly, I stumbled painfully over a root I failed to notice. I cursed my wandering mind and the exhaustion creeping over my body. I flung my hands out to curtail my fall, only to find two hands catching me, one on each side: Liam and Ashton.

"You all right?" Ashton's concerned voice spoke close to my ear.

I nodded, but then realized he might not be able to see my slight head movement now that we were out of the moonlit clearing. "Yes, sir."

"Probably tired," Liam stated. "It is after midnight. And we've all had a long day."

"And night," Ashton added. "Hang in there. You can rest soon."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," I knew I was beginning to ramble, my training to please instinctively taking over my weary mind as it usually did when I approached exhaustion. "I'm sorry, sir, I just... my toe caught on the root... I'm sorry..."

Lord Ashton stopped abruptly, startling me from my meandering. "Toe?"

I looked down, wondering why he was confused.

"Oh hell," Liam muttered after a moment, and Lord Ashton appeared to look at him expectantly. "He—he doesn't..." Liam's voice dropped with a hint of discomfiture, "...um, he doesn't have any shoes."

"He what?" the viscount snapped, causing me to flinch away from him as his head bent to look towards my feet. I curled one foot over the other, as if I could hide their nakedness from him. Fortunately, the darkness and the lengthy pants did that for me.

"I provided him adequate clothing," Liam defended, straightening abruptly. "I did not feel shoes were necessary, especially for a prisoner."

"Are you telling me he's been locked in that cold room with no shoes to keep his feet warm? What about stockings, at least?"

"He had bedding," the steward added to his defense. "And his clothing was more than large enough to cover him completely, including his feet."

"Which is why I didn't notice he had nothing to protect his feet when we set out tonight, damn it," Ashton cursed.

I wasn't sure why Lord Ashton was so upset about my lack of foot wear.

"Why didn't you rectify that before we dragged him out here into the damn woods?" Ashton accused. Then he snapped a look at me. "Why didn't you tell me you didn't have shoes?"

I felt my mouth fall open at his sudden admonishment. "I'm sorry?" Why would he think it would have occurred to me to even ask?

"We were headed out to hunt the bastard that poisoned Row," Liam retorted. "The boy was the last thing I was concerned about."

That seemed to halt Lord Ashton's tirade as he himself had been single-mindedly focused on the same. I felt myself sway slightly as I waited for the two men to reach some accord so I could get back to my little cot and curl up to sleep. Did it really matter at this point if I had shoes or not?

"You're right," Ashton conceded. "I'm sorry."

Please, can we move on? I silently pleaded, the cool air and late hour sapping my energy exponentially now. I shifted, hoping they would move as well.

"I'm sure Row will wake for good soon," Ashton assured Liam. "He woke briefly this evening, before I went to Kye's room to wait out the traitor. His throat was dry and he couldn't speak much, but he asked for you."

Liam cursed under his breath. "The one time I'm not there..."

Maybe if I just closed my eyes for a few moments while they were talking...

"You will be. Next time. I'm sure he'll— Kye!"

I jumped, stumbling over my own feet as a hand grabbed me.

"He's practically asleep on his feet," Liam muttered.

"I'm... I'm..." I blinked as I searched my brain for words, but it didn't seem to want to cooperate right now.

"Yes, feet that are probably torn to bits."

I'm... fine... That's it, that what I wanted to say. It's what I always said, what I was trained to say—to feel...even if it wasn't true. It's what I knew everyone wanted to hear.

"Okay, let's get you back to the estate."

I gasped when I was abruptly lifted off my bruised feet, my eyes flying open—though I hadn't realized I'd closed them again. My instinct was to insist I was fine, I didn't need help, that I was strong. That I could be good and walk on my own.

"Relax, Stubborn," Ashton's deep voice caused a calming shudder to resonate through me.

Solid, steady arms engulfed me, cradling me against a warm, muscular chest, and I felt myself sliding, letting go of the urge to stay composed. I dropped my head heavily in the crook of his neck, his stubbled chin rubbing against my forehead. I didn't remember anything else except finally feeling safe for the first time in years.

****

"—what happened? Why are you carrying him? Did he get hurt? What—"

"Reth, he's fine."

I could hear voices around me, swarming and buzzing, but not really making much sense. I tried to fight off the fatigue threatening to drag me back under, but it didn't seem worth the fight.

"I'm heading to Row. I'll send Dr. Fulbert down. He can look at the kid's hand and feet tonight at least."

"Thanks, Liam." I could feel the vibrations of Lord Ashton's voice through my body more than I could actually focus on them. I rubbed my cheek against his shirt, listening to his heart beat.

... Oh, Gods, did I just snuggle the viscount?

"Sir, please..."

"Reth, I promise, Kye is fine, just very tired. We all are. It's late," Ashton assured, apparently not noticing my nuzzling against him.

I felt him jostle me before I was plopped down. On my cot probably, even if it felt like it had softer blankets. While I missed the heat of Ashton's body against mine, I couldn't help the momentary sigh of content that escaped at the idea of finally being able to sleep.

My cot had never felt so good as it did right now.

My cot.

I jerked in sudden panic as I remembered that Charlie was being detained in my room as well. Was he here? Were they leaving us locked in together?

"Kye!" Multiple voices cried out at once. I blinked, trying to remove the fog of sleep, but it didn't want to give up its hold on me.

"Woah there, you're safe, Kye. Just rest." A firm hand pushed down on my shoulder. "Dr. Fulbert's going to just come look at your hand and feet. Unless you want to get up and bathe now before you go back to sleep."

Get up? I could barely lift my eyelids at this moment, let alone an arm or a leg. A different room. Not the stone cell. Maybe Tareth's room...

"Kye?" Tareth. A hand swept my hair from my forehead. "How are you? Are you hurt? What can I do?"

I think I managed to shake my head. "S..l..e..e..p..." I slurred, not even sure if I was audible.

There was a soft huff of laughter. "Well, that does sound like Kye."

A distant click sounded before a new voice entered. "So what's up with my second patient this time? Liam gave me a few details of what went on tonight. Charlie. Would never have thought," the doctor muttered, and I could imagine him shaking his head.

"I would never have known if it wasn't for Kye," Ashton admitted. "And we were about to send him out with Tareth to deliver supplies. I can only imagine what would have happened."

I drew myself into my tight ball, burying my face in the pillow. I could very well imagine. I would have lost Tareth again. For good.

"Sorry to wake you, Gabriel," Ashton continued, "but could you take a look at Kye's hand and feet? He got cut earlier tonight by Charlie."

I felt myself slipping in and out of awareness as Dr. Fulbert apparently lifted my hand and removed the scrap of linen currently bandaging it. The sting of something pouring over the wound on my hand pulled me briefly to awareness before I felt the tug of a dressing being secured on it.

"And his feet? What happened here?" I felt my leg pried away from its curled up position and the trouser's rough fabric slide up to expose my filthy foot. Fingers prodded the sole, causing me to flinch and try to pull my feet up protectively.

"We were unaware he didn't have shoes when we were walking back," Ashton huffed out.

"I see." Now, Dr. Fulbert's voice was hovering close, and I suspected it was his hand sliding over my jaw, lifting my chin. "Kye? Son? Can you hear me?"

I managed a grunt.

The doctor chuckled. "Very well then. We'll just clean your feet and put salve on them for tonight. After you have a chance to bathe tomorrow, we'll take a more thorough look."

"Good," Lord Ashton agreed for me. I was too tired to care right now what he did. "Thank you, Gabriel."

I was only vaguely aware of a cool rag wiping over my bruised feet. More than one set of hands quickly rubbed some ointment on before I tucked them back up under me.

"Reth, why don't you stay here with him tonight? Get some sleep, keep an eye on him—"

"But, sir, this is—"

"I'm going to check on Row. I'll be back on the morrow to check on you and Kye. Maybe you can help him with a bath. I'll leave word to have breakfast sent up."

"Thank you, sir." It was quiet for a moment before I heard Tareth's tentative voice again. "Sir, what about the deliveries?"

The heavy sigh told me how exhausted Lord Ashton must also be. Not only had he been up as long, if not longer than I had, he still had to deal with governing the estate.

"I will find someone else to go in your stead, Reth. I know Kye will need someone he trusts here—"

"But sir, several of the horses are new; we don't know how they'll react as a team yet."

"I understand that. However, we've already pushed back these deliveries too long—"

"Sir, I can—"

"Reth. I'm not asking for you to chose between your brother and your duty. I will accompany the wagons myself, if necessary. I will determine a course of action in the morning, when I can be more coherent."

"Yes, sir."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I will take my leave for the night—well, what's left of it."

"Yes, sir," Tareth laughed softly. "And thank you for letting me stay here with him tonight."

I didn't hear a response, but soon I felt a body curling up behind me. Tareth draped an arm over me like he used to when we were kids sharing that tiny pallet in the corner of our little house. I started to drift back off, reveling in his protective embrace. Twice in one night, I'd been enveloped and held like I mattered, like I was ... cherished, wanted.

It was something I hadn't felt since Tareth had left me alone all those years ago.

"Good night, Kye. I love you."

My heart lurched at words I hadn't heard in nearly seven years. I pulled his arm around me tighter, tears dampened my lashes.

"I love you too, Tareth."