Change of Heart - 29. Chapter 29

Awakened by the alarm Daniel shut down the beep almost immediately. Raymond shifted slightly but remained unfazed by the intrusive alarm. Daniel was tempted to awaken his lover for more of what they had shared last night. Instead, he gently lifted Raymond's arm from his chest and twisted out from under his leg. His man pulled him in close to his chest. He could feel that massive cock press against his lower back as Raymond stretched, yawned and pulled him even closer. “This is the first time in over a year that I have awakened with a man in my bed and you are trying to sneak out without saying goodbye. I think I’ll hold you until you either apologize or fuck my brains out like you promised to do last night.” Raymond's hand sifted through the hair on his lover's chest and drifted down to capture Daniel's manroot. “Looks like someone is interested in trying for a lobotomy the hard way this morning.”

Daniel twisted in his lover's arms. Smiling into Raymond's emerald green eyes he planted a peck on his nose and explained, “I wasn't sneaking out. We both have a busy day ahead.” With a heavy sigh, he continued, “As much as I regret it, my alarm was not set to allow for much more than a shower. Besides, we have a playdate scheduled for later via long distance, remember”? He gently extracted his cock from Raymond's grip, flipped the cover back, rolled away and stood from the bed. The cover exposed Raymond's leaking manroot. “I don't remember ever having a stronger incentive to stay in bed. But, I have to get going.” Daniel tucked the covers up under Raymond's chin and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Go back to sleep. I hope you do call me to participate in your, uh,... Well, I hope you do call.” Without waiting for a response, he moved to the bathroom for a piss and a shower.

When he was finally dressed he found Raymond in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee. Raymond looked up from his iPad and asked, “Do you have time for a cup of coffee”?

Daniel nodded and Raymond fetched a mug and the pot. Daniel took a sip, then spoke softly, “What does it say about me that I can turn down an offer of incredibly hot sex from an absolute stud, but can’t say no to a cup of coffee”?

“Well, first of all, I’m flattered that you describe it as ‘incredibly hot sex’ and refer to me as a ‘stud’. I assure you those perceptions are shared. In light of the circumstances, I’d say you were simply thinking with your big head instead of your not so little head. I promise to always respect that kind logic. However, if you make a habit of rejecting my advances, I might develop a complex.”

Daniel rested his mug on the counter, taking Raymond in his arms said softly, “Sometimes you sound like a lawyer negotiating a contract and other times you sound like that teenage kid whose world is about to fall apart. I think you know how difficult it is for me to simply leave your side, like yesterday at the diner. When it's you and me alone, it’s damn near impossible.” The kiss tasted of coffee, lust and unspoken promises. They were interrupted by the security guards seeking coffee refills and bringing in warm, fresh pastries from Runt.

By the time Daniel threw his bag into his truck and drove away, the pair had decided that Raymond would text him throughout the day. Daniel would know where Raymond was at any given time. That way the moment of intimacy would not catch Daniel off guard and unavailable.

After Daniel left, Raymond cleaned up the kitchen and walked over to thank Runt for the breakfast pastries. He found both men already hard at work. When he explained his plans for refurbishing their abode, Larry offered to contact a cousin, in Austin, who sold modular homes and see what might be immediately available. He knew that they had modules on hand that could be set up in a matter of days as a complete home. They agreed the location should be close to their home so as to share existing water, electrical and plumbing connections. Raymond told them to take whatever they wanted from the big house exempting the bedroom and a few select pieces.

Runt had decided to accept the job as cook/housekeeper. He encouraged Runt to set up the smaller house’s kitchen to his liking. Runt and Larry were to stop by the motel offices to pick up cards for purchasing home and ranch supplies.

On his way to the airport, Raymond arranged for a new 4X4 Supercab pickup to be ready for them when they picked up the bank cards.

Once airborne he texted Daniel to let him know. Landing in Fayetteville he texted Daniel with an update. Then again as the car and driver took him, and his security team, to the clinic. Raymond was impressed with the clinic and the staff. It was clean and comfortable without the sense of cold sterility usually associated with a medical facility. Each person he dealt with was friendly and professional as if they had strange men coming in every day to jerk off. He chuckled as he realized, for them, it was an everyday occurrence. Once he was situated in a surprisingly comfortable sitting room and had checked the deadbolt lock, twice, he texted Daniel.

Almost immediately he received a FaceTime request from “Lawman”. He was surprised to see Daniel had removed his shirt. “Aren't you concerned that one of your Deputies or staff might walk in on you half dressed”?

“Considering I’m at home, in my bedroom, I don't think that’s likely to happen.” Daniel set his phone down and began to caress his hairy chest. Suddenly he froze. “For God's sake. Tell me you're alone right now.”

Raymond chuckled and assured him they were alone. Daniel let his doubts rest and resumed his self-exploration. “Ok cowboy, drop your drawers and show me what you got. I’ve been horney since I woke up beside you this morning. I thought about dragging you into the shower and having my wicked way with you. I don't know about you but I could use some playtime right about now.” At this, he stepped back far enough so that Raymond could see his already throbbing, leaking erection.

Raymond looked around for a suitable resting place for his iPad. He hurriedly stripped to present his own throbbing manhood to his video lover. “You are so hot. You look like some super sexy porn star.”

Daniel slowly stroked his cock, “Show me your receptacle, big boy.”

Raymond froze mid-stroke. “What part of that is supposed to be sexy”?

“Well, I didn't want it to be awkward when you shoot your load into a cup.”

“Believe me, the only way this could be more awkward is if I had to do it at the reception desk. I suppose I should be grateful I’m not jerking off in some men’s room.”

“Have you ever jerked off in a men’s room”?

“Yeah, the first time I ever came was in a men's room in Dallas. I had only had a couple of wet dreams. My mom had taken me shopping for school clothes. The salesman took measurements that got me hard and I said I had to go pee. I felt like something was gonna bust. It only took a couple of strokes and I was shooting against the back wall of the stall. I was shocked. It was so intense, I almost collapsed on the men’s room floor. I must have taken some tIme to recover because the salesman was knocking on the stall door asking if I was alright and if I needed some help. If he had been young and hot, I might have opened the door. Instead, I made some excuse that implied diarrhea and he left me alone. I couldn't wait to get home and do that again. How about you”?

“Yeah, I actually watched one of my Marine buddies suck off our company CO. It was in a restaurant in San Diego. I think it was a rendezvous planned by those two. The CO was with his wife or girlfriend and there were three of us that went out to dinner together. There was a small hole in the divider wall. I looked through and saw them kissing and then sucking each other. It was hot. But, it just reinforced my closet walls. I imagined I was one of them and someone else was sitting there watching me suck my way to a dishonorable discharge. I shot my wad and left before they finished. Our third buddy kidded us about being in the ‘lady's room’ together. My buddy turned green in fear I might have caught him sucking cock. I quickly explained that I had been making a phone call. I sometimes think about getting in touch with him, but I don't want him to think I’m interested in him other than as a friend.”

“Yeah, when I was a junior in high school I saw my baseball coach jerk off in the shower. I think he was straight, and just horney. I think he would have been embarrassed and angry if he knew I jerked off while watching him jerk off. I came before he did and snuck out, so he never knew. I never told anyone about that until just now. I still jerk off to that memory. Coach Stevens was hairy, hot and hung.”

“Coach Stevens was one of my coaches too. He was hot alright. He was just beginning to turn gray when he coached us. I often wondered if that bulge unfolded like it did in my jack off fantasies. It's hot even now to learn it did.”

“Fantasies are great when you don't have the real thing. But, none of those memories match the sensation of touching and tasting you last night. I need to cum. I can feel your hot ass gripping my cock as I pounded into you. It felt like you were peeling back a new layer of skin on my cock to reveal never before exposed nerve endings. It was like the first time I ever fucked an ass only ten times more sensitive… more sensational. Daniel, I, uhh, ung… ung, I’m cumming. Oh God! Where’s my cup”?

Fortunately, the cup was within easy reach. Daniel could offer no real help. He too was caught up in his memories of the night before. By the time Raymond mentioned the cup Daniel was already cupping his own balls, crouching down and painting his hairy chest with ribbons of baby batter.

Recovery time was cut short so Raymond could seal the sample and attach the seal with his name and information on it. The cleanup was matter of fact and only as they said their goodbyes did an air of awkwardness settle over the conversation.

Raymond became concerned. “Lawman, are you upset about something”?

“Well, I know you planned on going back to your, er, uh, to Uncle Joe’s until the small house is set up. I was wondering when I would see you again”?

“You know that you could come stay tonight with me there. No one would object or even comment. Well, except maybe Jeff. But, even that would be only teasing. You know him well enough that you can return it in kind.”

“I was wondering if you would stay tonight at my place. I know it's probably not what you're used to… But, it's out of the way. Nobody’d be there except you and me and my king-sized bed. I could heat up some canned ravioli and pour some boxed wine.”

“That all sounds good except the ravioli. I have actually had real ravioli and it doesn't come in a can and the last time I had boxed wine was in high school. Let me take care of dinner and the wine tonight. I think our relationship will thrive if you settle for occasionally manning the grill. I have taken a couple of cooking courses and am actually pretty good at it. I just don't usually take the time except on the weekend. I expect to be back in town by early evening. What time should I arrive”?

“Tell you what, let me do dinner and you bring the wine, a nice Chardonnay, I would think. I’ll serve roasted chicken with garlic and rosemary with lemony Greek potatoes and a wilted salad. Some crusty sourdough bread to spread the garlic on. That's something so simple, even I can't mess it up.”

“Do you even have canned ravioli in your pantry”?

“Actually, I do. I also have spam and Vienna sausages. All courtesy of my Mother. She knows I can cook, after all, she taught me. But, she also worries that I might starve without convenience foods. I made the mistake of once telling her I was going to bed, too tired to cook. So anytime she finds canned foods on sale, I benefit. I learned to like sardines in hot sauce. I can smother canned ravioli in shredded cheese and Tabasco sauce. It might not be gourmet, but it’ll stave off starvation.”

“Someday we’ll compare our quick and easy solutions for staving off starvation. You’d be impressed with what I can do with Ramen noodles. I think I left most of those recipes behind once I learned how to order in something other than pizza and Chinese. Restaurants, in Dallas, were too willing to deliver with just a phone call or an app. I don't think Miss Julie would deliver out to my place. I’m pretty sure the only food I could get delivered out there would be still on the hoof”. That brought out a shared chuckle.

By the time they ended the conversation, Raymond was in the car on his way to the airport.

Meanwhile……….

Jeff awakened alone. It took a moment for him to realize that he shouldn't be alone. Furthermore, he didn't like being alone. When his hand swept the cool expanse of the sheet that his lover normally occupied he realized he had been alone for some time. He thought back to the previous night. The kneeling, the neckties, the feel of the goatskin rug on his naked flesh. Paul touching him so, gently, so erotically. His own inability to respond except to accept the attention. He threw back the covers and watched as his morning wood throbbed and began to seep a glistening drop of precum. He considered jerking off. Last night left him with plenty of inciting and exciting memories. In the not too distant past, he would have gladly given into the urge involving self-gratification.

But, now he had Paul. Where was Paul? Aloud he softly called his lover, “Paul”? He wasn't surprised at the lack of response. Getting out of bed to took a moment to stretch luxuriously, regretting it couldn't go on indefinitely. Idly he scratched his balls as he headed to the bathroom. From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a strange lump lying on the goatskin rug. It was Paul curled up under a blanket. He halted mid-stride and wondered what he had done to drive his lover from their bed.

He switched on the analytical framework he used when studying various elements of a client's situation. He mentally checked off the most offensive nocturnal habits that might have led to Paul being unable to share his bed… Snoring, hogging the covers, tossing and turning, farting, talking in his sleep… Jeff felt he was not egregiously afflicted by any of these. And yet, his lover preferred to sleep on a rug rather than share a bed with him. Until last night Paul had been more than willing to split the sheets with him. What happened last night? They had not been together long enough to establish a real routine. Hell, their time together was hardly what any sane person could identify as routine. As reasons and reason failed him he began to feel oddly familiar sensations of loss, rejection, and emptiness. It was, if not a comfortable sensation it was at least familiar. He turned away from his lover and headed to the bathroom to empty his bladder.

Paul awakened to the distant hum of the shower. At first, he wondered if he had fallen asleep after having hot sex with Jeff on the rug last night. Then, in a staccato series of images he remembered. He had gagged Jeff and tied his hands behind his back and used him as if he were an inanimate sex doll. Jeff had been unable to accept or refuse Paul’s selfish demands and in the heat of passion, Paul hadn't really cared. After he had freed and cleansed his lover of their cum, Jeff had surrendered to sleep almost immediately. Paul, on the other hand, had scrubbed his body and shampooed his hair several times in an attempt to get clean. When it felt as though he would rub his already wrinkled skin raw if he continued, he left the shower. Finally, when he had no other excuse, he lay beside his lover. He lay on his side of the bed and tried to sleep. When a still sleeping Jeff tried to pull him close, Paul quietly slipped out of the bed and grabbing a blanket from the closet, he curled up on the sheepskin rug. Certain he would see the accusations in Jeff's eyes, Paul got dressed and sought out a different bathroom in which to relieve his bladder.

When Jeff came out of the bathroom to get dressed, his fears of rejection were fueled by his lover’s absence. In spite of the comfortable temperature, the room felt suddenly cold.

The atmosphere in the kitchen was no more welcoming than the empty bedroom had been. Jeff had a sneaky suspicion that Paul had shared whatever it was that repulsed him about Jeff with the other members of the household. Fred, Sam, and Dave all seemed to be preoccupied with their breakfasts. Paul had not bothered to wait for Jeff before consuming his own meal.

Without looking up Paul began, “I have asked Dave to take me around to my clients today so I can explain my new circumstances. I am sure you have things you need to get done before going to Chicago so I expect we will both be busy.”

At first, Jeff wasn't sure the conversation was even directed toward him. Paul was busily sipping his coffee. Jeff stared, but it was soon clear that Paul refused to make eye contact. He wanted to slam his fist down on the table and demand to know what crime he had apparently already been convicted of. He was made of stronger stuff. Maybe this would blow over after Paul had some time alone. They had been stitched together for the last week or so. Maybe he could find some time to be alone with Paul and simply ask what he had done that was so repulsive as to warrant this sudden cold shoulder. “I think Sam and I will go to Uncle Joe's and I’ll take Maria for a ride.”

Without so much as a glance his way, Paul responded, “That sounds good. You and your Uncle Joe probably need some time alone to absorb Raymond's revelation and what it means to the Adams family.” At last looking up, Paul asked Dave, “You ready”? Dave stood, gave Sam a quick kiss and searched Jeff's face seeking an explanation. Jeff just shrugged.

Jeff stoically hid the impact Paul's words had had on him. It was like a giant stake had been pounded into his chest. By saying “your Uncle Joe” and “the Adams family” instead of “the Adams family trust” he had effectively distanced himself to the status of almost stranger. Only the fact that Paul would allow him to spend some time with Maria offered Jeff the slightest hope that they could have some kind of relationship. Jeff was convinced that Paul would be sleeping in another room tonight, if not another house.

Even though he had to provide directions and Dave offered, Paul refused to drive. When Dave pointed out that it was Paul's personal vehicle, he was greeted with silence. When Dave offered to listen as a friend, Paul reminded him his job was to drive. Dave insisted on being at his side through each visit. Only one client chose to be abusive, stating he would not trust his animals to the care of a known sodomite. When Dave took an intimidating step forward the man shut up, except to say he would be seeking other sources for veterinarian care. Back in the Tahoe, Paul offered his thanks, to which Dave simply stated he was just doing his job. The tone was set. The two slid into a professional, respectful silence.

The day saw Paul vacillating between wanting to beg for his lover’s forgiveness and being man enough to accept Jeff's disdain and move on with his life. Again, the vast difference in resources hit Paul hard. He was homeless, no vehicle and a helpless child to support. He refused to accept any of the Adams family largesse, he just couldn't. He didn't want to think about the contempt Joe and Mellie would feel if Jeff chose to share the truth of his cruel and animalistic disregard for someone they so dearly loved.

Mentally he reviewed his financial assets. After consulting his accounts he decided he could purchase another used vehicle and get an apartment easily enough. At this last thought occurred to him he could literally feel his own heart break. It was hard to measure the sense of loss and isolation and physical pain he felt at this moment. Choking back a sob, he asked Dave to stop so he could take a leak alongside the road. He moved to the back of the vehicle and relieved his bladder. He knew it wasn't safe to break down here. Dave would most likely feel he had to report tears to Jeff and besides, there were more clients that deserved a visit. As the piss flowed so did his tears. The incongruity of the situation struck him as funny, but instead of a laugh he released a choked out sob. Mentally he thanked his grandpa for teaching him to always carry a handkerchief. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose and got on with his life.

Sam picked up on Jeff's subtle clues that he didn't feel like chatting. Even though he felt more than professionally close to both Jeff and Paul, he respected his boss's wishes.

At Joe's place, Jeff was warmly and enthusiastically welcomed by a little brown haired bombshell. He brushed off Paul’s absence with a quick explanation and was pleased when no one seemed overly concerned. He smiled and laughed at Maria's antics and thrilled her when he invited her to go horseback riding. She rushed off to get dressed while Joe ushered him into his office.

Unbeknownst to Raymond and Jeff, Joe had set in motion the plan to make both his nephews and himself equal in the eyes of the Adams Family Trust. The only point of contention was where Raymond's share was to be drawn from. Joe’s plan had himself sacrificing the lion's share where Jeff felt Raymond's portion should be derived solely from an equal split of Jeff’s holdings and access to the trust. An outsider would have thought they were playing with Monopoly money as they bandied about assets worth hundreds of millions of dollars. In the end, a suitable compromise was achieved with both men feeling they had effectively welcomed their brother and nephew to the Adams family. Snap, Snap… Snap, Snap.

Jeff found Maria in the kitchen consoling herself over the delay with milk and warm cookies. At the barn, Tom greeted Jeff with a hug and Maria with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Darlin, I got Bluebell all decked out in her finest for you. Where’s your other Daddy? I figure the honeymoon would last at least into the New Year.” With this, he glanced at Jeff. Jeff simply turned away and checked Trigger’s cinch. Maria explained her Daddy's absence and was more than pleased when Tom insisted on joining them on their ride. Jeff was not really in the mood for company.

Maria put Bluebell through her paces. Shifting effortlessly through the gaits into a full gallop. Jeff had her reign it in explaining that her Daddy would have both his and Tom’s hide if something happened to her because they let her run wild. It settled into a pattern where Maria would race ahead then race back while the two men discussed ranch business.

When it became clear that Jeff wouldn't discuss what was wrong Tom offered an opinion. “I don't know what's got into you, but I’m guessing things aren't quite kosher between you and Paul.” Jeff cut an emerald green gaze toward his friend. “Ha! I thought so. Well, you can either talk or listen. What’s it gonna be Cowboy”? Jeff's silence answered his query so Tom continued. “I don't have to tell you what an amazing man Paul Wilson is. Or what an amazing father he is to that amazing little girl. I love you like a brother Jeff. But, you need to know that men like Paul don't come along every day. If you fucked up, you need to beg for his forgiveness. I know you well enough to know that whatever you done ain't so bad as it can't be forgiven. Same applies to him, if he fucked up, you better be forgiving him right quick. I’m dating someone right now and it seems like it could grow into something special between us. If you think that you and Paul might have been just a flash in the pan. I’d appreciate you being square with me, cause I just might rethink my situation.”

Jeff’s response was a snarl and spurs into Trigger’s flanks. The stallion snorted and burst away like a practiced thoroughbred at the starting gate. Tom laughed out loud. He knew his friend. Knew how those two felt about each other. He knew that his remarks were just like spurs digging into his friend's flanks. His laugh faded as he considered the remarks, meant only to annoy and motivate his friend, might actually hold an element of truth. He pulled out his cell phone and noticeably relaxed once he heard that thick, sexy Russian accent.

Jeff herded Maria back toward the barn. He explained that he had received a call that required his attention in town. He offered no further explanation and Maria was happy to race him back to the barn. Jeff was focused on an upcoming, much-needed conversation.