November Falls - 18. Chapter 18

“This day sucks!!” I yelled in frustration as Ember glared at me.

When we finally made it back to the garage to lock the bikes away before going home. Novy left not long after we got here, angry with me because I wouldn’t take him to see Katie. I hadn’t even told him why she was in there. She didn’t want Novy to know that her boyfriend had beaten her until she was ready to tell him. I understand that Katie doesn’t want this to become the number one item on the gossip cycle. I don’t like this ongoing deceit - it just keeps piling up.

I get how Novy feels: I was and am still pissed at Linda for hiding it from me. If the shoe was on the other foot, I’d be the worst person in the world for hiding it from her. I’m still Katie’s dad and Novy is her brother- he has a right to know what’s happened to his sister.

Anyway, I’ve told Linda that they’ve got forty-eight-hours, then I’m going to let Novy know that something has happened, that Kate is ok, but is shaken up. That will leave enough detail out, so Kate can decide what she wants to share and doesn’t with her brother.

But now Ember is angry with me - I can feel it the way he was glancing at me, then looking away, the odd thing being placed roughly on the bench. To top it off, the curse words are flowing now, so something’s up. I can’t friggin’ win!

“Are you going to just stand there like a ghost or are you going to help me with this stuff, Brady?”

Looking up at Ember, his comment, well more command, snapped me into the real world.

“I’m sorry, Ember. I’ve just got a lot going on. I’m trying to work through it,” I offered in a tone that was probably more frustration in what had happened and less to do with Ember, but it wasn’t received as I thought it would be.

“Look! Are you going to talk to me or just stand there and stare into space?” There was a mix of anger, frustration, and compassion in Ember’s eyes as I looked up at him. Subconsciously, I had started to stare at the floor again, obviously.

“Brady, talk to me.” Ember pleaded.” I know there is a full-blown conversation going on in your head. How about you let me in on it? I’m guessing I play a big part of it… well, I hope I do.”

And there it was - that look - the one that could see though me. But I didn’t know how to - or even deep down if I wanted to - talk to him about it. Fuck I hadn’t even had time to tell my parents the extent of what was going on.

“Nothing, huh?!?” Ember ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “So, is this what it’s going to be like between us when something happens? You just lock me out?”

“What! Wait… no.” Yeah, okay, that didn’t go down well at all. “Ember, I don’t… I can’t. I haven’t even told my parents yet.”

“Oh okay, so this is the way that it’s going to be, is it? Everyone else first and me last, Brady Douglass? Has a familiar feel to it. Wanna start talking shit about me now, you know? After all it was your favourite thing in high school, right! I’m starting to wonder if you really have changed or not. Is this…” Ember pointed between us, “this bullshit of ‘you need to tell your parents or whomever first before me’, did you ask them if it was okay, too, or is that different?”

Ember turned and walked a few paces away. I was completely speechless, because he was right.

“I guess that I know how Kate feels, being hurt by someone that you trust or like.” Ember’s voice was lower, almost resigned.

“Are you comparing high school bullying to what she went through?” I scrubbed my hand down, my face frustrated.

“High school bullying!” Ember threw his beer bottle in the trash can angrily. “You think it was a little bullying. It was three years of sneaking around trying to be invisible. Worrying about turning a corner in a building to get to class. Was there anyone waiting on the other side. Going to school wondering what would happen today - would I be shoved into a locker, or would they steal my clothes while we were doing sport. The humiliation never stopped, Brady. It stays with you.” Ember blew out a breath trying to calm down. “You might have thought it was harmless pranks, but it wasn’t, Brady! Fuck! I left school to get away! I was lucky that Mike gave me my apprenticeship here to escape it all. I was made to feel second class, insignificant.” Ember shouted at me angrily. “Just high school bullying.”

“Ember, please. Look!” exasperated, I can see this is fast going all bad. I defensively raised my hands in surrender. “Ember… Hey, hold on a second.” I paused to try and gather my thoughts. “Okay,” I took a deep breath, “Ember, you just fry my brain at times, and I’m struggling with this so much. I feel like I’m always apologising.”

Ember’s glare deepened instantly.

“No, that’s not what I meant, Ember, please,” I’m on the verge of tears he can see that. I’m just making it worse by trying to frame everything, broker each word… sentence. “What I’m trying to say is…”

“That wasn’t me, Ember, not totally.”

“You were there, Brady, and you did nothing.”

Ember took his keys out of his pocket. For some reason, I jumped. “What - you’re scared of me or something? For fucks sake, Brady - when have I ever done anything physical to you? Even when we were at high school I didn’t, and god knows I had good reason to.”

“Ember, please, just give me thirty seconds to get this out… please.” I looked at him, pleading for an opportunity - a chance - to right this. God knows I didn’t deserve it.

Ember waved his hand in front of me in a sweeping gesture.

“Be my guest, Mr. Douglass.”

I couldn’t help it: I shook at that, finally realising the hurt I’d caused both directly and indirectly to Ember. And why? Because I was too chicken shit to tell the truth! Taking a steadying breath, I continued. “Ember I second guess what I’m doing or saying constantly when it’s just us.” I could feel tears welling up, but I had to push on. It was either now or never with us. “I try and talk to you but you’re always that bit reserved - I guess that it’s because of our past, what we all did. I’m not going to minimise it - I was a total bastard to you.” My mouth and throat were so dry, it felt like the Simpson Desert. Spotting a bottle of water on the low bench, I took a few steps and grabbed it. “Please Brady, one second.”

Taking the biggest gulp of water I could - Christ my hand is hand shaking so much I wasn’t getting much in my mouth - my tee was getting a good drink though.

Ember’s eyes softened for a second. He could see this was affecting me, that I was trying to get something out. This guy’s compassion knows no bounds. He waved his hand a little. “Go on Brady,” he motioned to me in a softer voice.

“Ember, I’m sorry.” A tear slipped down my cheek. Quickly, I wiped it away to hide it. “I don’t want to make you feel bad, or upset you… I don’t. I’ve tried to right the wrongs of my past. I’m not perfect and there were a lot of mistakes made. There are three things I’m not sorry about.”

Ember huffed, “Go on.”

I looked at him helplessly. “I’m not sorry that I have my kids in my life. They mean everything to me. I’m not sorry that I told my ex the truth and started to live my life truthfully, and I’m not sorry…” I paused to catch my breath as I shook with emotion…“that you found it in your heart to forgive me. You’re such a better person than me. Now I know what it’s like to be loved by you - the warmth… it’s like standing in soft sunlight, the joy, the way you … fill my life with purpose and love. Something I would never know if it wasn’t for you, Ember.”

A few tears escaped my eyes, rolling down my cheek. “I am sorry for what I did at high school. I’m so sorry that I didn’t step in and stop Paul and the others.” I was staring at Ember, trying to gauge his reaction, read him, but his own emotions were making that impossible.

Ember stood up from his spot against the workbench and turned, walking towards the door without a word. “Lock the door when you leave, Brady,” he said as he headed out, stopping when he got to the door.

“I’m sorry about what happened to Katie. It’s the worst kind of violence and betrayal.” He paused pensively. “I think I’ve made a mistake, Brady. I don’t think I can do this – us.”

<>-<>-<>

Arriving at my old family home stirred a lot of different emotions within me. It looked exactly the same as if I’d never left. As much as it was a relief to see, it felt weird at the same time - like time had stood still, somehow. The shrubbery in front of the porch was clipped, not a leaf out of place. That used to be my job. Wonder who does it now?

Taking a deep breath, I exited the car. I’ve no idea what to expect when I get in the house. To say I’m exhausted would be an understatement, both physically and mentally. Travelling away for the weekend for the boys’ race, then finding out some asshole hurt my beautiful Katie, not to mention the fact that Linda and Katie tried to hide it from me and now Ember and me, I don’t know what to do. The only bright point in the last 12 hours was that Linda felt that she shouldn’t hide that our daughter had been hurt, even if Katie didn’t want her to tell me. I knew something wasn’t right when Katie cancelled on me. We’ve always been close. Cancelling without a good reason and at the last minute - yeah, red flag.

Linda caved the minute I asked her what was going on with Katie. She burst into tears and fell apart right in the middle of pit lane. Katie had begged her not to tell me, but Linda told her that while she wouldn’t tell me, she wouldn’t lie for her either. I still can’t believe Linda agreed to hide what happened to Katie from me. I’m so angry right now, but I need to keep my head for Katie’s sake. I’m sure Linda wouldn’t make the same decision again - well, I hope she wouldn’t.

I knocked on the familiar door, my stomach churning for reasons I’ll never understand. This is my family, they were expecting me, so there’s no need for me to be nervous. Easier said than done, I suppose. I heard some shuffling on the other side of the door before it swung open.

“Why are you knocking? We’ve been expecting you.” Linda smiled awkwardly.

“I… Er… I wasn’t sure…” I said while scratching the side of my head.

Linda stood aside, “Come in, come in, don’t just stand out there.”

The last thing I expected was for Linda to be in a good mood at my arrival. We’d said some pretty horrible things before I’d left on Sunday. Tensions were high. None of them worth repeating, but certainly an apology is necessary. She’d only done as Katie had asked, but when it came down to it, Linda had kept her promise to Katie, but her loyalty to me as Katie’s father superseded that promise. I certainly couldn’t stay angry at her for that. I stepped into the house. Linda closed the door behind me.

“I’m sorry, Linda,” I said, as I walked in the door slowly after greeting her.

I opened my mouth to say something to continue - I’m not sure what - but she put her hand up to stop me.

“Please, just let me apologise. I should never have taken my anger out on you, Sunday. There’s no excuse. You didn’t deserve it. I’m very sorry for the things I said to you. I honestly don’t believe for one minute you–”

I smiled sadly, “It’s fine. Let’s just put it behind us and move forward.”

“Thank you.” She said contritely.

I looked around the room. Nope. Everything still the same. The house even smelled the same. And, by the aroma wafting in from the kitchen, Linda was making stew and dumplings for dinner. All our family photos still in the same place. I noticed the picture of the four of us at the zoo from when the kids were younger. “Well, at least you haven’t cut me out of the family photos yet,” I mused, trying to keep the mood light.

Linda snorted a laugh, rolling her eyes as her hand clutched the top of her chest. Linda’s free hand wrapped gently around my forearm steering me toward the kitchen.

“Oh, don’t think I haven’t been tempted on occasion.” She smirked at me. “You look like you could use a glass of wine.

“You’re right about that. Where’s Katie?”

“In her room,” Linda said frowning while pouring me a glass of wine. “Nothing’s changed since we all left the hospital on Sunday. She just lays in the bed, either staring out the window or asleep. I can’t even get her to have a shower. I’m really worried about her, Brady.”

“Me too.” I accepted the glass of wine Linda held out for me. “We’ll look into some counselling - the sooner the better it sounds.”

Linda topped up her glass and then downed half of it in one mouthful. I shook my head. This is all so unbelievably wrong. It makes me so angry that some asshole thought it was okay to knock my daughter around. I want to hurt this asshole so badly. Cam’s a fireman - maybe he knows a way for us to get rid of the body. God knows I covered for him enough when we were teenagers with all the shit he used to get up to. He could easily swing this. Then again, if I told him someone smacked around his niece, I probably wouldn’t even have to be involved. My brother is fiercely protective of Katie and Novy. He’s the one that taught them how to throw a punch, how to defend themselves, – and to practice on their dad. Oh, and my all-time favourite - he taught them all their curse words, the damn bastard. It took us a month to get Novy to stop referring to me as his ‘dickhead dad.’

“Have you told Cam or your parents?” Linda asked curiously.

I snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous, I can’t even begin to think how my folks would react. And Cam… let’s just say I couldn’t afford the barrister fees so he wouldn’t end up in jail.”

This time Linda snorted. “True.” She tapped her finger on her glass while she eyed me warily. “How long do you think you’ll be here?”

I looked down at my feet, with one hand fiddling with my wine glass that sat in front of me.

“I’m not in a hurry to get back. A few days, probably. Depends on whether my friend Pix gets sick of me, I guess. He said I can stay as long as I wanted.” I mumbled. “I told Ember, too. Sorry.” For some reason I felt like I’d betrayed someone, but I hadn’t. Well, I did really – Ember. I should have told him straight up - that’s what you do with the one you love, right? “So, where’s Gordon?”

“He’s at work. Gordon won’t be around. He’s giving us some family time. He adores Katie - you know that - but he also knows you’re her father. You’re who she needs right now.”

“Tell him thanks for me. If you want to see him while I’m here, that’s fine. I’ll stay with Katie. I want to spend time with her.” I stood up finishing my drink, then putting the glass in the dishwasher with ease, like I still lived there. “And no time like the present.”

Linda smiled warmly before throwing me for a loop as I walked out of the kitchen. “Brady?”

I put my hand up on the door frame stopping myself before turning back to Linda. “Yeah?”

“Just apologize.”

“Huh?” I asked confused, but my stomach churned because I knew she could see right through me.

Linda gave me a sad smile, “Apologise to him. Whatever you did, just apologise to November,” she said with a knowing gaze.

“I tried. Don’t know how much good it did,” I muttered as I continued to Katie’s room.

One of the things I love and hate about Linda is she can read me like a book. Guess that will happen when you’re with someone for twenty years. I also don’t like that she knows that there is a problem with me and November. I’d made a right mess of everything.

“Katie, sweetheart. It’s dad.” I tapped on her door softly.

No answer came. I turned the knob, opening the door slowly. Linda wasn’t exaggerating. Katie was laying in bed, propped up slightly by pillows as she stared out the window. My baby’s cheek was still bruised and a little swollen on one side, a black eye, and her wrist bandaged from a cut. There were still visible bruises made from his fingers on her neck. I’m going to kill that fucker! It’s taking all the will power I have to not show the rage I feel toward this guy. My stomach twisted in knots and my chest constricted. My daughter looked broken.

“Honey, do you mind if I come in?” I asked slowly moving toward the bed.

She rolled her head on the pillow, watching me with a blank stare.

“Dad?”

I picked up her hand that laid loosely next to her above the covers, sitting down next to her.

“How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

Katie shook her head. “No.”

Her eyes took in our hands together before she looked back out the window. My heart shattered into a million pieces. How could someone do this to my little girl? My vivacious, beautiful, intelligent Katie. We sat for a long time, not a word passing between us, while I held her hand. Every now and then she squeezed letting me know she was still there. God knows what she’s thinking.

“Do you need anything from your apartment?”

“I can’t go there. Sean will be there.” Katie’s head snapped to me, her eyes wild and panicked. “No, Dad, I can’t. Please, I can’t. Sorry, I’m sorry.”

My daughter finally broke down, sobbing into my arms pleading with me not to make her go there.

“Baby girl, I’m going there. You won’t ever be going back there. I’ll get your things and bring them back to mom’s. Okay?” I kissed the top of her head, whispering to her everything would be okay while she cried.

The longer she cried, the angrier I became, holding it back becoming more painful by the second. When the hiccups set in, I released her, cupping her face gently.

“I’m going to go, but I’ll be back, sweetheart. You stay here and rest. I love you.”

Katie hiccupped, her face wet, streaked from tears, eyes red and puffy, pleading with me. To me it was like she was a little girl again, begging me to help her understand. A lump formed in my throat, my eyes, stinging from holding back my own tears. I must get out of here. The rage I feel right now was making its way to the surface and I didn’t want my family to see.

“I’ll be back. Promise.”

Removing myself quickly from the room before she saw me lose my shit, I went to the kitchen to see Linda. I picked my keys up off the table.

“I’ll be back. Call me if she needs anything,” I told Linda angrily, making my way to the front door.

“Brady, wait!” Linda called out, catching up to me outside.

“What are you going to do?” Her expression was panicked and wary.

“What I should have done in the first place.”

I turned my back to Linda, going through the contact list on my phone as I got in my car.

“Cam, I need your help.”

<>-<>-<>

While I waited for Cam, I went to the real estate agent for Katie’s apartment, having a nice one-sided conversation with the snivelling brat with a grown-up job. He seemed to be more than a little intimated by an angry father. Without too much effort, I managed to get what I wanted - Katie out of her lease. He was kind enough to let me have the real estate copy of her key to get in. After all that, he was a nice bloke - even if he probably needed to change his soiled underwear by the time I’d left.

Cam: Going through Bennington.

My brother is still an hour away. I need to keep myself occupied until he gets to town. If I don’t, I’m worried that I’ll find out what I’m capable of. When somebody hurts your kids, it just fries your brain. “The university, Katie’s studies.” I thought to myself. I looked up the number of Cheryl in the accounts department of the university. Surely she’d be able to help me get the ball rolling to defer her studies.

“Accounts, this is Cheryl.”

“Hi Cheryl, this is Brady Douglass. My daugh–”

“Oh, hi Brady, how are you? How’s that lovely wife of yours? Anything I can help with?”

I rolled my eyes, “Linda’s great. Thank you for asking. Um… I need your help Cheryl.”

“If I can, I will. What do you need?”

“Katie’s needs to take some time off. I need to talk to someone about it. Do you know who that would be?”

“Oh dear, I hope everything is okay.”

“She’ll be fine in time. Thank you, Cheryl.”

“Oh, good. Okay, you’ll need to speak with the head of Student Services. I’ll just put you through. I’ll make sure he answers. Just one moment.”

At least Mr. Smithers was sympathetic to Katie’s situation and her need to take time off. I managed to defer Katie’s studies for a semester, enough time for her to sort herself out. I know she won’t be happy with when she finds out, but I’m sure she’ll understand in the long run. I just need her to follow through with the instructions the university had given me.

Cam: I’m here!

Me: Be there in five.

When I got to Katie’s apartment, parking as close as I could, my mind was preoccupied with what we were about to do. I hadn’t noticed Cam had brought some help with the move. Scrubbing the back of my neck, I took a deep breath as I approached my brother and his helpers - Justin, Hawko, oh my god, what is he doing here? Ember! My heart sped up. My stomach felt like lead, while my palms sweat. Fuck, I don’t need this right now. Cam could tell I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. He also looked like he would rip someone’s head off - he is pissed!

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me what happened to Katie?” Cam snapped angrily.

I glared at Ember. He glared right back, showing no remorse. He wasn’t sorry for telling the others what happened to Katie.

“You know why, Cameron. I can’t afford to pay your bail AND to help Katie. I had to pick one. I chose my daughter.”

Cam froze. “Hmph!” He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at me. “Fair point. Asshole.”

Cam asked, “Which one is Katie’s?” I pointed at her door. He reached into the bed of his truck and pulled out a baseball bat and threw it to Justin while wielding a halligan tool from work in the other. He was taking control now. He then moved to the apartment with others flanking like a bunch of thugs. I followed a few steps behind. Cam looked over his shoulder at me. “What’s this fucker’s name?”

“Sean,” I huffed. “We don’t even know if he’s there, Cam-” I have the key!

Cam shrugged his shoulders and banged on the door so hard even my teeth rattled. We heard the door lock click. Cam slammed his shoulder into the door it flew open, knocking the guy backward three feet in the air, landing hard on his arse. With the air knocked out of him the asshole tried to crawl away as fast as his body would let him. The four of us followed and marched into the house. Cam reached down picking him up off the floor with one hand, pinning him against the wall, lifting the halligan tool to the guy’s neck and holding him place.

“So,” Cam tilted his head, “you like to beat up women, huh?”

The guy could barely move let alone breathe.

“Who the fuck are you?” said Sean as he tried to breathe.

“This guy’s got some balls,” I said, looking at Justin and Ember who were standing on the other side of the room.

Justin twirled the baseball bat around, while Ember stood staring. With his size alone, he looked menacing.

“That doesn’t really matter right now, I wouldn’t think.” Justin’s voice was calm and jovial while he took a few practice swings as he spoke. Justin looked at me flicking his chin toward the guy. “What’s his name again?”

“Sean.” This is ridiculous.

“Right, Sean. See here’s the thing, young Sean. You hurt someone very special to us, family. So it doesn’t really matter who we are, but what we’re willing to do.” My brother leaned in close, his mouth against Sean’s ear. “I’m Uncle Cameron, and I don’t mind going back inside if I have to.”

Justin took another practice swing across the room. Sean flinched, causing Ember to laugh. With all this intimidation going on, we’ll be lucky if we don’t end up going to jail.

“Would you like us to tell you what’s going to happen next, Sean, or would you like it to be a surprise?” Ember chuckled.

Sean stood there, his pupils dilated, taking short sharp breaths from lack of oxygen or panic, one of the two. The kid’s eyes were wide, moving to and from each of us. He was panicking. Normally, none of us would do anything like this, but I don’t give a shit - he hurt my daughter.

“Fuck off!” he tried to get out of Cam’s hold, but it was a wasted effort.

My brother got in his face pushing the tool harder against the kid’s neck.

“Listen up, you little fuck-shit! You have thirty seconds to grab your crap, after which time anything that isn’t piled in the middle of the room or already outside the apartment won’t be your concern anymore. Do you understand?”

Now my brother was frothing at the mouth, but in anger. When this happens it normally doesn’t end well.

Cam removed the tool from Sean’s throat. He fell to the floor, holding his throat and coughing while giving my brother a death stare.

“Twenty-six seconds,” Cam tapped his watch. “Brady, start packing Katie’s room.”

Sean hurried, gathering his stuff and taking it to the living room. He came into the bedroom where I happened to be packing Katie’s clothes and personal possessions. I stood up quickly to launch at him. “Fuck off to another room.”

He disappeared.

I took Katie’s bags to my SUV and then helped the others with the furniture, while Ember stood guard of Sean. How did that happen?

Once we’d loaded the trucks, we all met back in the living room. Cam was standing over Sean’s belongings, squeezing lighter fluid or something over the pile. Jesus Christ, Cam.

My brother pointed at Sean, “You stay the fuck away from Katie. Forget she even exists.”

We moved toward the door, Cam standing in front of the kid. He flicked his zippo open he went to light it, then flipped it closed. “You’re not worth it.”

<>-<>-<>

The convoy arrived at Linda’s. She was opening the garage door. Cam had his truck backed up to it, with Embers truck parked at the curb waiting to be unloaded. Justin, Hawko, and Ember were pulling off ties and ropes. Linda threw out orders where to put things. I retrieved Katie’s bags from the back of my SUV, taking them into the house.

I knocked before entering Katie’s room. She sat up sleepily.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s only me. I’ve brought your clothes from the apartment.” I set her bags near the walk-in closet out of the way while she watched me. “Uncle Cam, and some friends helped get all of your furniture. They’re putting it in the garage now for you.”

Katie fell back onto the pillows letting out a breath. “God.” she swallowed audibly. “I’m so sorry, dad.”

“Honey,” I said sitting down next to her on the bed. “You don’t need to be sorry for anything. He’s the asshole.”

“I’m such an idiot, dad.”

“No, you’re not. You didn’t know it would happen. It was his doing, not yours. We have some things to talk about tomorrow. I’ll be back in the morning. You rest for now.”

I stood up, bent over and kissed her forehead as Cam knocked on the door.

“Can I visit with Katie for a moment?” he asked.

“Sure thing.”

“Daddy,” Katie said as I reached the door. I turned to face her. “Thank you.”

“It was your Uncle Cam, honey. Make sure that’s what you tell the judge anyway.” I smiled at my daughter before leaving the room.

With everything stored away, Ember was making a move to go. Hawko and Justin were going over to Pix’s place. This was it now or ever.

“Ember,” I walked over and gently placed my hand on his arm. His eyes followed my hand, not saying anything and not stopping me either. “Thank you for today,” taking a breath. “I will understand if you say no, but can we talk when I get back, please?”

“Text me when your back. We’ll see.” Ember turned and walked out the door to head back home. “Bye, Brady. Give Katie a hug for me,” he said as he pulled the door shut.

Justin said he wanted to see Pix while he was in town, so he and Cam were going to stay tonight with a friend of Cam’s. I closed my eyes resting my forehead on the front door. “Fuck!”