Walking in Circles - 18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Hmm, Steve’s bed. Wait where is he? Probably a good thing he’s not in here, I don’t feel so fresh and I probably don’t look it either. Before I can get out of the bed, I see it, one of those tray’s you can put over you in bed. There’s a small vase with flowers and a glass of orange juice. Oh and a note, ‘Sorry to run off without saying good bye, but I have a ton of things to do and you just looked so damn cute laying there. I couldn’t bare to wake you. Steve’

Of course I am drinking the orange juice, I have a ton to do also, so I need to make his bed and get to my place. I hadn’t noticed last night, but there are beautiful pictures of his wife placed throughout his condo. I might as well step out on his balcony and see what he sees of my place. Isn’t that interesting, the road curves just enough that he even doesn’t get a straight shot into my place. I can see a speck of the couch and what is the dining area and that’s about it. I have been paranoid that everyone can see me, yeah, not so much.

Now back in my place I noticed the iron fire escapes off the dining room windows don’t go anywhere. Look, I can walk straight out and it’s my own patio. Well how about that, it’s bigger than usual, at least it looks like it is to me. I probably could fit a table with chairs out here. They did down there, shocked I haven’t noticed.

I had to pick up my pace and get over to the Center. They may need my help and I will need to stop in Doc’s office. I need some coffee and I chuckle because Mr Personality is the only one working. “Your name is Zach, right?”

“Yes,” this is new, “That’s me.”

“I saw your art last night, it’s beautiful.”

I can’t help but smile wide. “Thank you, that is so nice of you.”

“I really like the drawings of the nude guys. Not in a weird way, in a, you know, art way.”

“Yes, I know exactly what you mean.” He’s so strange, but I have to admit, I am intrigued. “Would you want one of your own?”

Is he smiling? “I can’t afford to buy one.”

“Do you have a place to hang one, if you did?”

“Yes, after my dad died, I inherited his house.” Awe, that makes me sad.

“My mom and dad died too.” Well let’s see if he takes the bait. “If you would agree to come over to my place, and let me draw a few pictures of you, you know, like that. I would let you pick the one you like best for free. You know, as a payment for letting me draw you.”

“Do I have to decide right now?”

I asked if he has a cell phone and he shows me his phone. “Let me see it, ok I have just called my cell phone, I am entering my name as the contact, you’ll find it all the way at the bottom of your list. When you call just tell me it’s you, ok?”

He did that thing again with his face. I got my coffee and went into the conference rooms. They have a note on the door,

Art Retrieval
Pick Up Here

The other conference rooms are closed. Inside there are two tables with people sitting at them. All the art is lined up on the back wall. They have been wrapped in cellophane and have numbers on them. One lady is paying for her painting at one table and then she took her receipt to the other table where they located it. “That looks even better now than it did last night.” Nodded at me on her way out.

“Hey Travis, how did they talk you into doing this?” He smiled and twitched his head towards the other table. I didn’t even notice Robert was working at the other table. “So? Was I right?”

“Well, it certainly feels like it to me, we spent the night together and he had to be here early so I volunteered to help. I thought he would like to go to lunch with me after.” We both looked over at Robert who smiled and blushed.

“That’s fantastic. I really hope you guys keep it going.” We both nod to that. “So, I had marked one of my pieces as sold yesterday, where do you suppose I will find that?”

“Robert has it off to the the side I think.”

“I will talk to you later, and I expect you to be prepared to give me every detail.” He smiled and nodded like, of course I will.

“Hey Robert, anything new with you?”

“Ha ha Zach, I think I really like him, so thank you.”

“I expect you to give me every detail later!” He blushed, oh yeah, I want both perspectives. “Do you think you could find the piece I had marked sold yesterday?”

Robert bent over for a second, “Do you mean this one?”

“That’s the one, perfect, thank you.”

“Anything, for you.” I just winked and gave my hand up. Then I winked and waved to Travis as I went out the door.

I had a pretty good idea where Sam’s office was, but it still took a few times missing the door as I walked past. I knocked, and I just about gave up when the door opened. “Zach, come in. What can I do for ya?”

I had sat the piece just outside the door before he opened it, “Nothing, you have been so helpful already. I want you to know your story really touched me and I want to thank you for sharing it with me.”

“I was embarrassed after I did. I felt like I told you too much?”

“Not at all, in fact,” I opened his door and got the piece, “I’m giving this gift for you and your wife, as my thanks for your help. It probably isn’t worth much, but I know you liked it and I want you to have it.”

Sam had such a shocked expression, “I can’t take that.”

“Sam, if you don’t take it, I will be extremely offended.” I forced it into his chest.

“I don’t know what to say.” He had tears running down his cheeks. Fuck, there goes my waterworks.

“Then, I suggest trying, Thank You.”

Instead he looked at the ink drawing and sat it gently on his desk, then he turned and put his arms around me. “Thank you so much, Zach. That’s the nicest thing that has ever happened to me, ever.” I then gave him a Steve hug.

“It’s all my pleasure. I insist on meeting your wife someday. This is my cell number, pick a day next week with your wife and I want you both to join me for dinner. I will hunt you down if you don’t call me.” He smiled huge. Hand up wave and then he did the same.

That was better than I imagined.

I needed to get back to the conference room to see if I could help. I was surprised to see that there were new volunteers at the tables and the boys had left. The line was growing and I wound up shaking everybody’s hand as I made my way down the line. “Hey, Kevin, what are you doing here?”

“Hi Zach, Caira and I came to the showing last night.” I am truly surprised. “You were so busy we just never had the chance to talk to you. But, we loved your work. We bought the one you called, ‘The Cove ‘. We were both very drawn to it.” My jaw hit the floor.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t see you two and even more, you actually bought my very first piece I ever did.”

“No way!” Now his jaw hit the floor. “Zach, I think it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I had to stay right by it so that every time someone bid higher I could beat them. A couple times Caira had to poke me when I didn’t see that someone else had bid. It came down to me and a tall beautiful older woman. We went back and forth, but her husband I think got mad, because he said something to her and she stopped. Caira and I were so excited we won!” I bet a million bucks that was the Jeffries.

I felt a tear starting to form. “Thank you, I want you to thank Caira for me too. That’s an incredible story.” I pulled Kevin into a hug, I didn’t know if it was appropriate or not. Frankly, I didn’t give a damn if it wasn’t. I did note that in no way did he smell like Sean either. But, he felt good.

“Hey, have you found any new information yet?”

“Not really, I did have some memories of the accident I was in with my parents when I was 10. I had no memory of the way they died till recently. I’ve also had some random childhood memories that I had blanked out, apparently.”

“Zach, I am so sorry to hear about your parents. Hey, do you want to go get some lunch, I can pick this up later.”

“Yeah, I would like that, is Caira around, maybe she’d like to come.”

“No, we were both supposed to go up north to her parents house today, but we didn’t want to create any problems with getting this piece. To tell you the truth, I didn’t want to go anyway. Plus, she wanted to ask them for some money to help pay for the painting.” He chuckled as we started walking. I had to chuckle too. “Hey, do you mind if I stop in the men’s room before we head down there?”

“Not at all, I actually need to use it to.” I went to the end stall and he took the third. Oh boy, I have to look through the hole at some point, I mean, it’s Sean’s doppelgänger after all.

“Hey Zach, check this out, I think it’s one of those glory holes.”

“No way! Where?” I am putting on my best shock voice.

“Look, do you see my fingers?” He’s wiggling them back and forth.

“Holy shit, I’ve always wanted to see one of these.” I grabbed his fingers and stroked them. He just laughed like a school boy. Then he pulled them out.

“Ha, you do it.” He kept giggling. After I put two fingers through and wiggled them, he started that funny little hum giggle we all do sometimes. Then he freaked me out, he actually put his mouth on my fingers all while doing that hum giggle.

I played the porn star roll, “Oh yeah baby, suck it.” We both laughed. We heard the door and went quiet, after the flush, the sink and the door, we cracked up.

I chuckled pretty good when I heard, “psst, I see you.” But, I also felt the need to stick my boner between my legs as I bent over to look through the hole myself.

I did a hum giggle as I waved to him. He leaned back and laughed as he shook his boner for me to see. I really didn’t get a good enough look at it. I think I was too surprised. “I can definitely see you. Oh boy.”

“Hahaha, see if yours will fit through the hole. Hehe.” I know first hand it will, but Fuck It, why not.

I stood up and slid it very slowly through the hole as he kept giggling. “Say hello to my little friend.”

“Ha, that’s great. Hehe,” I could feel, Kevin using 2 fingers and his thumb for a pinch. Then he must have licked them because it was the same kinda pinch, but with a swipe. “Now let me try.” So, slightly disappointed but more excited, I pulled out and sat down.

Slowly, he put it through, of course chucking. It is much thinner than Sean’s, with a beautiful head and what I would call a perfect circumcision. “I triple dog dare you to put it in your mouth. Hehehe.” What are you twelve?

“Not gonna happen dude.”

“Chicken shit.”

“There’s only one way…”

“Yes, yes, hehe, I’ll do it, I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like, come-on, come-on, come-on.”

Very slowly I ran my tongue around the tip. “My turn.”

“No way man, you didn’t even do anything.” I could see he was starting to lose some of his enthusiasm. I got the whole head in my mouth and held it there. Eventually, I managed to have most of it in my mouth and he moaned..... Fuck it, I just went for it all. I was pulling and sucking so I could rock this boys world. I heard him say so quietly, “Oh Shit.” And I yanked off of it. That thing was jumping and pulsing so hard I didn’t think he could hold it back. Amazingly , it leaked a ton, but he didn’t cum though.

“Dude, it’s gotta be my turn now.” No questions, he sat down. What I am surprised to find out, is he put his mouth to the hole, because I slid right into it. I do love the way it feels and he is enjoying it enough to do to me what I had just done to him. The biggest difference is he didn’t stop. I even told him to stop, but he ain’t listening..... I almost tore that wall down by slamming into it. As I came out of my orgasm I whispered, “Shit, I’ll finish you…”

“Nope, no need, already did.” We needed to clean up the floor and any other evidence. When we came out of the stalls, we kept scanning each other’s faces as we washed our hands. I’m completely expecting him to bolt as we step out into the hall. But instead he turned to me, “Still want to get lunch? I’m starving. Hahaha.”

“Right on” We just giggled the whole way. After getting what we wanted I suggested, “Do you want to eat outside?”

“Yeah, Zach, that’s cool.” He pointed at a picnic table furthest away from the others.

Why so far away? Sadly, I thought out loud, “This is probably about the last time this will be used before winter hits”

“Ugh, I hate winter.” He took a couple bites. “I need to tell you something that I couldn’t say in front of Caira.” We kept eating between words, it’s just something in his tone that worried me. “I am glad I ran into you today, I couldn’t have created a better opportunity.” I must have looked serious. “Remember when Caira said I was standing beside her when she asked me to take her for a walk, you know, at the party?”

“Ok, yeah.” I have a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach now.

“Do you remember how she said you were drinking with one of the frat brothers when you first got there?” I nodded. “Ok, I am one of the fraternity brothers from that house. I saw you drinking with one of our ‘asshole brothers’ and I didn’t think you looked like the type to click with him. So, I asked you if you were interested in being a frat brother, you said you would like to see what it’s about. Then, I offered to give you a the tour of our frat house, and also showed you what my room looked like. You seemed very interested in the whole fraternity life, do you remember any of this?”

I am stunned beyond belief, “Not even a little bit.”

“We talked about a lot about what it is basically like, and so I offered you the other bed in my room that nobody was using yet, you know, for the couple nights you were going to be on campus. You started asking what hazing is like, I tried to tell how we aren’t allowed to do any of the things you were asking about, not anymore. They stopped all that after a couple people died. Millions of people passed through those doors, but a couple people die and nobody is able to complete a century old tradition, from then on. Anyway, you kept saying, ‘ if you guys want me to suck your dicks to prove my loyalty to the brotherhood, I WILL.....’ “

“I tried to say it wasn’t necessary, but then you started grabbing at my dick. Ok look, I love pussy, I love Caira; but fuck it, I’m a guy with a dick that likes to get sucked once in a while. So… I let you prove your loyalty. Dude, I shit you not, it was the BEST fucking blowy of my life. I still wank my pud over that one, which is why I remember that night so well. You swallowed what I shot in your mouth and you licked it clean.” He paused, maybe cause he wants me to say something, like what would I fuckin say to any of that.

“So here’s the thing. While you were cleaning my cock and balls with your tongue, the dude you were drinking with, ‘the asshole’, opened the door and saw you. He started laughing saying that he knew you would be a good frat whore. You started going off on him , and I just tried to keep you two from throwing punches. That’s why I was standing there. When she turned and asked me to go for a walk with her, I was like ‘fuck it, let them duke it out’. After I left with Caira, and walked her home, I walked back to the frat house. I found out that you got even with him by taking his dirt bike. They said he had his keys in his pocket and you pretended to want to suck his dick, apparently to get his keys. I heard you took off with his bike dude. I am sorry about your whole memory thing, but that is my favorite part.”

I felt as if my blood had turned to ice. I couldn’t move or speak. “Ssss so, “ I am trying to get my head around it. “So, what was, you know, that, in the bathroom. Why the show?”

“Well. I hear you, and I kinda thought about that for a second myself. But, look Zach, I didn’t think you remembered any of that day, which you don’t, plus, I have never actually seen a gloryhole in person. Then there’s the fact that I have had my dick sucked dozens of times by guys, and I have never did it back before. If you hadn’t stopped before I shot off, I wouldn’t have done it this time either.” He chuckled “But, honestly, I think I’ve been missing out on something, I actually liked it.”

“Are you saying they think I stole that guys bike?”

“You were seen doing it. They figured you were going to crash it somewhere, cause you didn’t really look like you knew what you were doing, at least not very well. Anyway, by the time I got back, the party was over and you were long gone.”

“I just don’t understand. How can I remember what you’re saying in a totally different way. It’s terrifying actually.” I checked the time, “Kevin, if I make a solemn vow to you right now, that in no way shape or form will I allow Caira to know about this, would you be willing to say all this to my Doctor, please.”

Now Kevin is the one looking terrified., “I, I don’t know, I’m, actually afraid to say it out loud, you know, to anyone but you.” He almost looked sick.

“Kevin, I swear to you that Dr Stiene is an honorable man, he will not tell anyone else.” Kevin looked me in the eyes for a long time..

“Dude you will owe me huge.”

I smiled, “Deal.” We got up and I think we were both shaking as we walked to Dr Stiene’s office.

“Hi Doc. This is Kevin, he has some important information that I think you need to hear.” Doc looked concerned.

“Hello Kevin, please boys, have a seat.” He shut the door. And then he took his seat, I think he is waiting for us to speak first.

After I looked at Kevin, I decided to start things off. “Doc, Kevin is the newlywed I told you about. He is concerned about his wife, Caira, finding out what he is about to tell you. I promised him you wouldn’t ever say anything to anyone.”

“Kevin, I assure you that I have no desire to disturb your marriage, even if you tell me something horrible, I am bound by my oath to stay confidential.”

I think I even saw Kevin release a breath before he began recounting the details he had shared with me. I was embarrassed and impressed at the same time that he told Doc ‘all’ the details. Doc seemed to listen with a calculating mind. It was as if he was adding it all up.

“Is there anything else you can share?” After some thought Kevin assured us that was all he knew. “Thank you for your candor, Kevin. It is a brave man who can be honest about matters like this. As you may be aware, Zach has no memory of your account. He does, however, have an alternate understanding of the same events.” Kevin just looked at me.

“What do you think it means Doc? Have I gone completely bonkers?”

“Well, I have the final report from the investigators here. I have gone through all of their findings. I can confirm that you are on security video riding the dirt bike through campus. The University confirms your account of the letter offering you a scholarship, as well as, you arriving to tour the campus. What was not confirmed, is Zach’s account of Sean’s letter and attendance. With Kevin here, I wonder if you want me to continue with the report.”

“Doc, I understand, if you don’t mind, let me try to fill him in first.” Doc nodded like he was saying, ‘I think that is fair’. “This is going to sound crazy to you, Kevin, but I think you should hear it from me, you know, how I remember everything.”

Kevin’s face was one of concern, but there was also something I could only read as sympathy. He laughed at my stories of the alternate him, but not ‘at me’, as a crazy person. I was touched when I shared my memory of losing Sean in the lake, how Kevin shed a tear.

“Zach, I didn’t know how hard seeing me had to have been. I don’t understand, why it was me that you used as Sean. I am touched how you fell in love with him, ah me? But, I can’t be that guy for you though.”

“That’s just it Kevin. I knew the first time you spoke to me, outside with Caira, that in no way you were Sean. I did ask Doc if it was possible you had a twin you didn’t know about.“ I was relieved that Kevin and I could laugh at that idea. “Doc, why would this even happen?”

“Zach, I don’t know if we will understand all the why’s, what I think we could say is that when you witnessed your parents die in the car crash when you were 10, you had PTSD. Unfortunately, you were placed into an uncaring home, which only allowed you to manifest all the typical characteristics of PTSD. It angers me when I think about how your Aunt treated you. The investigators had looked into them and found her son, your cousin, is in prison for child molestation. It is fair to concede, he had molested you as well. For a traumatized 10 year old, with PTSD, to face such horrific torture, it’s no wonder you would learn to shut any knowledge of that reality from your mind.”

“It seems you found yourself lost when you made the fire in the woods. Possibly by adding alcohol to your trauma, your mind needed ‘Sean’ to help understand the gravity of your situation, and possibly, to give you hope. I believe that the relationship your mind created was also a design to help you accept the attention you desire from men. Are you gay? Are you straight? Does there have to be a definite line? I ask, why can’t it be both or neither? From here out, the choice is yours. We can help to keep these types of situations from occurring, or at a minimum, keep them short, if they do.”

I am unable to hide my tears, I even feel embarrassed to have Kevin see me like this. I looked at him and am surprised to see he had tears as well. “Doc, am I insane?”

“Absolutely NOT, don’t even let your mind tell you that. You are a traumatized young man. You were never nurtured to be able to cope with the tragedies you had to face. If anything, you are an incredibly brave and intelligent man, who is well on his way to healing.”

Doc came around his desk to give me a hug and then motioned for Kevin to join us. I think we all cried for that little boy that I was, and for the man who is trying to overcome the challenges placed before him. I honestly don’t know what that means for my future, but I believe I can do anything with the help I have around me.

As Kevin and I started making our way back to the conference rooms, to retrieve his purchase, he grabbed my arm stopping me in my tracks. He pulled me into a tight hug, “I am so sorry you have been through so much pain, but I am so honored you chose me to be a symbol of hope and love. I am almost sorry that I am not him.... Zach,” He pulled away to look me in eyes, “You WILL find that man, or woman, who will be the love of your life. I hope I can get the chance to see that, when you do.”

We hugged tight again. Kevin and I exchanged numbers, as we walked. We promised each other to stay in touch. We agreed to tell Caira everything someday, well except the blowjob stuff of course.

Exhausted, from today’s events, I decided to stop at the public library on my way to my current dwelling. I researched the location of the cove the investigators found. I was able to use their county records to find the name of the current owner. I also found a phone number for that guy on some search site. When I finally got home I laid on the couch to take a nap and drifted into a fast sleep.

Alright, I’m awake now, but I don’t want to move. What’s on my phone. Well there’s a text from Steve. Apparently, he had to go see his Grandma and won’t be home tonight. That’s probably good, because I really am not in the mood to be of good company, anyway.

‘It’s cool, I am exhausted and have been napping. I am going to just lay low and call it an early night. Be safe and call me tomorrow, if you get the chance.’

A message from Kevin? ‘Love the painting, looks perfect. Caira is gonna be up state till Sunday. Do you want to come see how the painting looks?’

‘You know. I would like that, I have time now if you want the company. Give me your address and I will use GPS.’

When I got it and entered it into MapQuest. It is literally a 5 minute walk down the hill around the corner and down the block. Cute house, I think they call it craftsman. It has a huge front porch and dark colors.

“Hey Zach, come in. Do you want a cup of hot tea?”

“You’re house is beautiful, yes I would like some tea. I’ll have whatever your having.”

“Come see the kitchen. We just had it done before we moved in.”

“Wow, this is sweet. It’s funny I just live around the corner and up the hill. I’m in the old Stanley Co. building.”

“Really, Caira and I looked at a unit in that building, what floor are you on. The fourth in the corner looking towards downtown. “

“Oh wow, do you have those big arched windows?”

“Yeah. They’re really nice.”

“Here ya go. Why don’t you follow me.” I took the tea and followed Kevin into the living room, “there it is. What do you think, do you like where we wanted it?”

“That looks amazing there. I love it.” We stood looking at it for a few minutes.

“I want to show you my man cave.” I followed Kevin into the basement. “When we bought the house, I insisted on having a large portion of the basement as a man cave. Caira doesn’t even come in, it’s so cool.”

“Dude, this is sweet. You have all the games I like. Foosball, pool, is that PacMan?”

“Do you want to play?”

“Shit Yeah!”

Kevin turned on some music and was SHAMED after I beat him 3 times on PacMan. “I don’t loose on that game. Sorry.”

“Check out my tv, I have surround sound and everything.” When he turned it on there were two chicks eating each other out in a 69 position. “Oops sorry about that.”

“Turn it back, I can’t even remember the last time I saw lesbians.”

Kevin started chuckling then stopped. “Wait, are you sure you can?”

“Thanks for caring dude, but I’m good.”

He chuckled again. “These two are hot, they really go at it.”

“Fuck, you ain’t lying, damn. If she sticks her tongue in there any deeper she’ll fall in.” We kept watching, fixated on their talents, even when Kevin started talking.

“Why do you think you chose me, you know, to be Sean?”

“I keep running that through my head too. I guess it was because you were the last one I had fooled around with, maybe. Or I think it could have been like a jealous thing, when you left with Caira, I mean. Remember, I told you Sean said ‘he’ blew you, then ‘he’ went for a walk with Caira. You/he actually did do that part.”

We stared at the lesbians moving into position to grind their pussies together. “You talked about someone else following you. Which, that’s scary for anyone. Do you think that was real, or part of the same story of Sean?”

I see the footprint in my mind, fucking still gives me shivers. “I have no idea. Let’s say he was real, for a second. My fear of him taking me to the woods, wasn’t real for sure, so who would he be, right?”

“Yeah, he could have been Jason. You know from the movie where he drowned at summer camp and gets even with the counselors for letting him drown.”

I like where he’s going with this. “Hahaha, or it was the Blair Witch.” We looked at each other wide eyed and did the macho horror screams.

“Oh my god, what if it was one of those inbred mutant people, who only eat people who are lost in the woods!”

“Now you’ve gone too fuckin far, you son of a bitch.” He looked nervous, so I jabbed him in the ribs and pulled him into a quick side hug, “If he was real at all, he was probably some hunter who was checking out the shack.” We both nodded.

“Would he be the same person who was standing next to your bed, when you said you chased him down the stairs?”

“Good point. I guess I assumed I completely imagined it in the first place. I suppose it could have been someone wondering why a cottage was built there, especially if they had been going to those woods for years.”

“I wonder what he thought when he saw you?”

Ha, “He probably thought I was the Blair Witch!” We started laughing hysterically. Man that feels good to laugh like that.

“Hey, I have a good question. What was Sean’s dick like?” I smiled. “Well, if you think about it, you had already sucked my dick, so did it look the same, or bigger? Ha”

“You’re not gonna like that answer. It was huge. I would say probably about the same length, but way bigger around. The kind with veins that stick out, and a huge bulbous head.”

“I’ve seen those, I always wanted to be the proud owner of such a gigantic cock. At least I had one for, what, a year?”

“Yes you did.” We got fixated on the two girls basically using a guy as their sex tool. They obviously had no interest in his pleasure. But, as you would guess, he was in complete ecstasy. “Hey Kevin, how old were you the first time a dude sucked your dick?”

“Man, I was 12. My buddy Brett and I were having a sleepover at his house. I woke up at some point and his hand was on top of my dick. He sounded like he was asleep, so I slowly pulled down the front of my underwear. I thought this was my chance know what it felt like to have his hand on my bare dick. Curiously, I also wondered what it would feel like to have somebody else stroking my dick. So I carefully curled his fingers around it. I was so pleased when his fingers stayed curled, as I put my hands behind my head, and slowly thrust through his fingers.”

“Next thing I know, Brett slid under the covers and started licking it, I was like, Fuck! I started having these crazy sensations, I had no idea anything could feel that good. Sure, I had already jacked and shot off, but this was on a whole new level. He put his mouth on it and sucked. Looking back, I don’t think he knew what he was doing, but it was so intense at the time. I didn’t even know I was cumming till after I saw his face with cum on it. I had one long continuous orgasm.”

I was getting turned on, “Damn, that’s hot. Now that I know I have had issues with reality, I have no idea what my first time really was. In my head it happened when my Aunt took my cousin out to a circus. She didn’t want me to go, I guess, so she hired this high school football player to babysit me, probably just my fantasy though. I think I was 11 or 12, if it was real. He let me stay up with him, so I could watch Nightmare on Elm Street with him. He laughed at me, because he thought it was funny how scared I was. He wound up sitting next to me with his arm over my shoulders to make me feel safer.”

“When Freddie was scraping his finger knives on the pipes I shivered and Mike started rubbing my chest and my stomach to calm me down. It felt nice, and even when I calmed down he left his hand on my stomach. It felt so warm and big. I was wearing gym shorts and I didn’t have any underwear on. I liked the way gym shorts felt on my bare dick, ha still do.”

“I don’t remember what happened in the movie, but I sat more upright and that put his hand square on top of my dick. Schwing, my shit boned up instantly. Mike just looked at me for a second then wrapped his fingers around it through my shorts. Suddenly I was keenly aware of the bulge in his jeans, I could see his boner was pointing towards me. I just couldn’t stop myself from reaching for it. I remember the feeling of every curve and every ridge through his jeans. I playfully squeezed it so it would throb. Sometimes it would throb 4 or 5 times from one squeeze.”

“Everything I did to him, he did to me in return. When I wanted him to rub on my boy balls, I knew what I had to do to get my wish. So, I studied the shape of his balls with my finger tips, and my head swooned from the heat generating from them. For some reason, as I reached into that area between his balls and his butthole it felt so foreign to me. I didn’t even know why I wanted to do it. At least, not until he tickled mine. I remember how it made my boner harden and my butthole quiver.“

“All of this excitement made me feel like I was going to pee myself. I wanted to know how his balls and his dick would feel without his jeans in the way. I was feeling really bold at that moment, so I unzipped his jeans and stuck my fingers in. He didn’t have any underwear on either, I got even more excited when I instantly felt one of his balls, hair and all, on the tips of my fingers. In turn, he pulled the elastic away from my belly and slid his hand down onto my bare throbbing dick.”

”I wanted to see his so badly, I tried opening the button with one hand with no success. In the end I used both hands, and I peeled back the flaps of Mike’s jeans to free his jumping and pulsing teen dick. I look away from that huge arch towards his belly button. I remember thinking it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Like the first ice cream cone that you can’t wait to lick.”

“Before, I could bend over to actually lick it, he stopped me and he stood up. Mike asked me if I wanted to follow him. We went from room to room and stopped at my cousins walk in closet. It was so dark in there, I didn’t understand why we were in there. Not until I realized he had got on his knees and was pulling down my shorts. It was that sensation, you talked about, that just blew me away. His hot wet mouth pulling on my shaft and licking the head. I thought he should stop because I was positive I was going to pee, but it felt so out of this world that I didn’t want him to stop for that. I figured he must know I pee out of it, so he must be ok with it if I do it in his mouth now. I have no idea how long it lasted because I was in an alternate universe. But, when I started peeing in his mouth I lost all ability to stand. He actually had to hold me up so he could keep his mouth on it, and not make a mess with my pee everywhere.” I chuckled at the thought.

“Mike was disappointed that I wasn’t willing to do that to him. Frustrated, he turned on the light and pinned me down by sitting on my chest. He kept sticking his fingers in my mouth and stroking himself. He even slapped my face with it. It wasn’t very long into it that he held my chin and aimed his dick right at my lips. I closed my eyes and tried to close my lips. He just used his index finger to pry them open again. I could taste it as he came on my face and it went in my mouth. Except, I thought it was pee. So after he let me up and we went to the bathroom to clean up, I angrily asked him why he pee’d on me. He didn’t laugh, instead he closed the lid on the toilet and sat down. He grabbed me and had me sit on his lap while he lovingly explained what it was and what it’s for. He started messing with my dick again as he was explaining in detail the whole baby process. By that time he started whispering in my ear, telling me he was going to make me spray my sperm out of my dick to show me. I could feel his boner pushing on the crack of my butt. I told him I was going to pee again, but he promised it wasn’t pee at all. In complete shock I saw everything, he had already described, coming from my dick. I still wasn’t willing to do anything, like eat it, and was kinda grossed out when he licked mine up from his hand.”

I realized Kevin was in the midst of stroking his cock during my story, so I pulled mine out. Kevin, looked like he was memorizing every detail of my dick and balls. He stayed so focused on my dick that I thought he may want to suck it.

I watched the lesbians ignoring the guy, except his dick as a tool, and another guy joined the group hoping to get in on the action. He was being completely shunned by the lesbians, which looked like it frustrated him. He moved to the other guys face wanting someone to give him some attention. The guy laying on the ottoman seemed to hesitate for a moment. When he finally did suck it, he really started going at it. The girls took turns riding on his cock while eating out the other one as she stood. They occasionally let the new guy lick their pussies while licking the cock they were using. Before long though, they would literally push him away. The first guy would pick up where he had left off.

I looked at Kevin again, his focus had not changed. I let go of my dick and laid my head on the back of the couch. Gradually Kevin started leaning, bit by bit, he got closer. That is until I could feel his breath on my balls as he seemed to inspect my cock. I think I even heard him sniffing at my balls. Finally, he took my dick in his mouth. Honestly, I think that’s what this whole thing was about anyway. I imagined that he has a chance, while his wife is safely away, to suck a dick for all it’s worth. I don’t think I can blame him for taking advantage of a moment like this, it can’t be easy to be in a long term relationship. He may not get another chance for a long time, if ever. They say secrets will destroy a marriage, but I think they can enhance it, but only if you can wait for the perfect opportunities to be completely secret. I am in the understanding, if you are conducting a relationship, or even seeking one, with someone else is the real threat to your marriage.

This night is for Kevin, I am like the guy with the lesbians, a tool for his immediate pleasure. I even put my arms behind my head to give him complete control. When he saw that I kicked back like that, I think he completely understood his role. I could see the new understanding process around his perversion. He is now going to take command of his primal needs without limitations. This is his chance to feel what every nasty thought he had would feel like for real.

“Come-on, you little pervert, what are you going to do now?”

Oh shit, the challenge in his eyes said it all. He looked at me like, ‘I’ll fucking show you what I want, and your gonna fucking do it’. He threw his leg over my waist and aimed my dick at his hole. Every now and then he applied pressure to the tip of my dick to get some in. He’d lean forward and shove his dick in my mouth while stroking mine. With new determination he’d try sitting on it again. I debated if I should help, but ultimately I decided this is his show, and he seems to be loving it. At one point he added his spit to his fingers and spread it on his asshole. With my dickhead inside the ring, he decided to go for it and took the plunge. I know it was more than he expected, but the determination in his eyes said ‘I’m not about to give up now. I want you to fuck my ass!’. I think it’s interesting that ‘straight’ guys want to be fucked in the ass. Maybe it’s the one thing that they cannot get from their wives. Or maybe, it’s the only opportunity that they will get to do the most taboo thing in the world, that takes them over the edge. This dude is definitely in that camp, he wants what most guys fantasize about and he’s no different.

Once he found his rhythm he was in total ecstasy driving my cock into his guts. He had my dick in so far up there that he had to move forward and backwards on my pubic mound to feel it moving inside of him. Frankly, I wasn’t sure how long I could hold out for him, but I was doing my best to let him have his way.

Eventually, I think he knew he’d cum if he didn’t stop. I saw the look that said, ‘I want more before I bust my but’. He stood up and raised my legs, then he pulled my ass just off the edge of the couch. I did take control of holding my legs up so he could free his hands from that responsibility. He started licking my hole then petting it with his hand. He used that time to embed the memory of its shape movements and smells into his brain, I could see he loved to make it want more. Then he’d jam his tongue in and I think he was trying to get some of his bottom jaw in like the lesbians were doing. It made it so his tongue would go further in. I imagined every time he watched the lesbians he will remember this. I wonder if he tries tongue fucking Caira like this. If he does I would venture to guess that’s why she married him.

Damn this boy is hungry. Now he studies it with his fingers to see what it will do when he gets in past the pucker. He even digs further to find out how it feels on the inside. I am starting to think he’s going to try to get his whole arm up in there, I just don’t think it can happen. I see him form a cone shape with his fingers and apply pressure to my hole with it. He is definitely trying to get his fist in there if he can. I want to tell him it won’t happen, but I decide he will give up when he’s ready. He licks around his pressing hand and up onto my aching cock. He looked me in the eyes, I see such hunger and desire that gets me to get even harder. As he forcibly pushes my dick into the back of his throat I feel a sudden reduction of pressure on my hole. I realized as he twists his hand, this fucker has his hand in me past his knuckles. I find it astonishing to think anyone would be able to do that to me. Thankfully he’s taking it out. As he gets himself more upright and into a lunging position he thrusts that long cock into my opened hole. I’m now convinced it’s better than I’ve ever felt.

He started kissing me as his speed increased. I think he’s going to nut in me. Fuck, I am pressing his shoulders down to get him to swallow my cock as he pumps inside me. “That’s it, pull my fucking cum out as you nut in my butt. Do you want it? Fuck don’t stop, you, got, it, harder. Awe, come-on, oh fffuuuucccckkk yyyeaahhh.”

My asshole is leaking his spent cum as I am still leaking from my cock on each spasm. I pull him onto me and I realized I am Kissing my Sean for the very last time. I am filled with emotions and I think Kevin knew exactly why. He had tears for the love I lost, but he kisses me lovingly to give me my chance to say goodbye in my way, to the love I created in his image. I wept as Kevin held me tight, “It’s ok Zach, let it out, yes, yes let him go. You’re going to be fine without him now. You’re stronger now, I will be here when you think you’d like to see him, but you need to move on, From Him.”

Whispering now I say, “Thank you.”

We got up and cleaned up in the man cave bathroom. Silently erasing the evidence of our transgressions. “Kevin, thank you for understanding what this meant to me, and I hope you are going to be ok with what we did here.”

“Zach, I felt your love, I didn’t feel like I was with a random stranger, rather, more like a last time with an old love. Plus, I have some wicked jacking off material for a long time.” We hugged and kissed with our tongues one more time, but for Kevin and I to say goodbye.

I walked with a new feeling on my way home. I think I am calling it free’r and ready to move on. As I walked into my apartment I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. “Hi Steve.”

“Are you ok, Zach? Do you need me to come back?”

“You heard?”

“I didn’t hear much, just that the report came back and you got some shocking news. I can come back if you need me to.”

“Actually, I’m good. I think I have my head around it enough to move on now. I want you to stay with your family as long as you want. But, I will be a giddy little school boy when you do come back.”

“You really do surprise me, do you know that? I love how you talk to me. Alright, the doctors say she is stable and my Mom is here to help her now. I just want to spend a good day with Mom before I go.”

“That sounds great, if you want to stay longer I’ll be fine. Plus, I have a delivery tomorrow for cabinets on my studio side. I think I will do some drawings, tonight though.”

“That’ll probably help your spirit as well. Maybe try to draw me from memory, haha, I’m just kidding. Ok, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Ok Steve, Good night.”

“You too.”

I walked over to the window and look out at the small town down the hill from here. It’s such a cute little town and in the dark with the sprinkles of light, I think about the stars you could see from the cove. I really do feel better, not lost like I’ve been. My phone is vibrating again, what’s the matter Steve. “Hello?”

“Is this Zach?”

“Yes”

“This is Albert. From, from the coffee shop.”

Really? Fucking Hell, he has more guts than I gave him credit for, I will give him that. “Hi, what do you need, or maybe want?” Fuck that sounded stupid, Zach.

“I thought, maybe if you had time, maybe you’d wanna, draw me.” Oh shit. Now what do I do?

“Albert, I can do that, but you need to be aware up front, I want you to be nude when I do that, if you don’t think you are comfortable with that, it’s ok to back out right now.”

That’ll probably do the trick. “Ok”

What does that mean? “Ok what Albert?”

“I want you to draw me so I can hang it on my wall.”

“You should also know that I need you to be very still for half an hour after I move you into each position. I will probably want to draw you about 4 or 5 times before you leave. That means you will be here 2 to 3 hours. Do you have that kind of time?”

“I can do that.”

I told him how to get here, but I’m not gonna hold my breath that he’ll actually show up. Lord, I don’t know if I actually want him to, so there’s that.

It’s been a bit more than a half hour and no Albert yet. I am thinking I could just go to bed. Oope there he is buzzing me. Alright Albert, let’s see what you got. I buzzed the door and about 5 minutes later he is knocking on the door. “Hi Albert, come in. Would you like some water?”

“Yes please..” as he takes off his jacket I note he’s wearing new jeans and a nice white shirt. He actually looks good for a creepy guy.

“Here you go, I cranked up the heat so you should be warm enough without your clothes. Go ahead and take all of that off and let’s have you sit on the couch while I get my things together.” Glancing at Mr Personality after he has his shirt off, I would measure him as someone who never works out, but has more natural tone than most guys. As he removes his clothes I am surprised at how meticulous he is folding everything into perfect folds. He is wearing stark white boxers and they seem to be a perfect fit for his round ass, gonna need to include it in a pose at some point. “Ok let’s get you to lay…” holy shit, what the fuck is that? This dude has probably got a 9 inch dick SOFT. “Sorry, lay down on the cou…ch.” I think I am sweating.

“Ok, let’s get you in the corner of the couch. Sit up a bit more. Here let me put this arm up on the pillow. Yes, now I’m going to move this foot down to the floor, ok good. I want to make this knee slightly up. Don’t move, bit I want to have your penis draped over the leg that is on the floor so I am going to grab it and move it.” He doesn’t object, I think it must weigh 5 pounds. “Is it hard?”

“Not yet.” Huh.

“Ok don’t move.” Some fast sketches to feel the likeness. This one needs to be more defined more dark edges. Now I want to do one free and whimsical, like his personality, not.

“Albert, do you need some more water, or use the bathroom?”

“No, I’m ok.”

Standing over him, he has more hair than I normally like, but somehow it works for him. “I want to see what you look like with your butt at the edge of the couch, feet on the floor and laying back. Here, hold this pillow on your rib cage. Ok, here, look at me squeezing this pillow with my arms folding over. Yes, good. Now I wanna try getting your knees farther apart. Maybe, gonna see what your dick looks like hanging. It isn’t staying down.”

“Getting kinda hard.”

“Oh, ok, how long will it stay that way?”

“I don’t know, pretty long I guess.” Huh.

“Well then, what if I put it up towards your belly button. Yes, I need to move my easel on this angle. Albert, can I try to make it harder.”

“Yes.”

Oh look, it’s already begun. I am going to grab it with more force and squeeze the blood into it, that is just impressive. “Ok, I am going to start again. Stay still.”

I think 3 fast sketches are enough, let’s bring more details into this one, this is nice. “Albert, I need it to be harder again. Just going to grab it like I did, yes that’s better, are you ok?”

“Yes.”

“Is there something you need to keep it harder?” Like porn?

“Try taking your pants off.”

Oh, ok, “Will that keep you interested?”

“Yes”

Well, then there you go, “yep that seems to be working just fine.” I even chubbed up a bit.

Ok, now for a long one, yes, good, oh boy, he’s leaking. Yes, this one will do. “Albert, do you have any ideas for posing that you’d like to show me?”

“Yes”

“Alright, let’s see it then.” He does some shuffling around. “Oh, ok, yes. That has good movement. Can you do that for about 20 minutes?” What am I saying? I bet he does this all day long. “I don’t expect you to speak with your dick in your mouth, just nod if you are saying yes. Ok then I’m going to start now.”

Even my sketches look incredible with this pose, my lines have movement the shades are incredible. I am doing two of each in case he chooses one of these. In fact, of the two, I am stashing the better, not that they are that different. I think this pose instills an emotion from the viewer. Ha, I got it, jealousy.

“Albert, do you have another one you want me to do? Or do you need a break? I have one more I would like to try in my mind.”

“Can I use the restroom?”

“Yes, I just want to be sure you don’t ejaculate yet. I am hoping to keep your, ah, momentum going.”

“Ok”

Look at that, this guy is a real trooper, that was all of 5 minutes. That club he is carrying around has not deflated one bit by my judgement. “Alright, did you want to try another, or should we wrap it up with mine?”

“I have one.” He didn’t wait for me to tell him, he just got into his pose. Laying back on the couch, pillow just below his neck with his head back. Arching his chest, knees bent with his feet together. What I found interesting is the, ‘Thrust’ of his pose is a double fisted stroke with several inches remaining. “Uhmm, are you comfortable?” Holy masturbation.

“Yes” Okie Dokie.

I just started changing tools and really, almost wildly, moving my hand and my arm. I felt like I was throwing the papers I was moving so fast. I even changed my easel positions 3 times. Wow, how intense. “That was great Albert. I really enjoyed that pose. I just want one more. I want you to kneel toward the back of the couch with your head resting on the couch. Yes, that’s it. Ok let’s bring your hands back to the back of your legs, more like this near the bottom of your butt. Yep, ok this leg should move back just a bit. Good, let’s just see, out of curiosity, try pulling your butt cheeks apart.” Now, I would imagine a strong odor from someone’s butt would be repulsive, that is not true with Albert here. It was almost mouth watering. “Maybe we’ll save that for another time. I want to get you just a bit harder again so I am going to stroke it for you a couple times. Yes, perfect.” Mind blowing to stroke his giant cock.

I definitely am having a good time with this pose, but I admit I think his were better. “Albert that’s it, you can get dressed, and I am going to line these up for you.” I am blown away by this set. Truly a fun model.

“Do you see the one you want?”

“Yes, That one.” Somehow I knew this would be the one. He is self sucking bent forward, his legs appear to go off the page, most of the outside image of his back and hair disappear in the light. But, the details of the inner action is truly remarkable.

“I have a nice frame I can put it in, unless of course you have something else in mind?”

“I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“Not at all.” I put it together and the thing he does like a smile actually got brighter. “Do you like it?”

“Oh yes.” Wow, that’s the most expression I’ve heard from him yet.

“Albert. Before you leave, do you think you would be interested in doing this again, maybe even for a painting, which takes longer and usually several sittings?”

He did the less impressive but still a smile thing. “Yes.”

After Albert left I went through the drawings and even pulled out the ones I stashed. I am truly impressed. As I get my head on my pillow I just fade-away.