The Covids - 5. Kevin’s YouTube Premiere

While closeted in his bedroom, Kevin had been watching many YouTube clips of the ways people were coping with staying at home. He found some of them entertaining, some just plain stupid and other downright dangerous, such as free-running through the house. Always being one to accept a challenge and do better than his fellow man he decided to give it a try.

He had no particular plan in mind so he just turned on his computer, activated the camera and hit record.

“Hello anyone out there who cares to watch this, I’m Kevin and I’m here to help*. Where did that come from? I don’t really know, it just popped into my mind. Anyway what can I tell you about myself, that you don’t already know? Anything I suppose since none of you know anything about me. Well the boring stuff first; I’m 17, in my last year at school…. Shit, I hope it’s my last year at school, with the whole world grinding to a halt with this Corona thing, our PM has hit the pause button. I’m studying at home, but I don’t know if that’ll be enough to get me an ATAR for uni, we’ll just have to wait and see. Hey that might just be the best thing.

I live in Australia; you know the country with ever changing Prime Ministers, none of which really know what climate change means. There are about 25 million of us here, but I don’t know many of them and little chance of meeting anymore for many months. You probably know about kangaroos, koalas, snakes and stuff like that so I guess you want to know about me.

My family has the required number of parents, one of each gender, plus me, a sister and an older brother who has left home and is shacked up with his woman. My Dad’s a psychologist, but please don’t hold that against me, and my Mum’s a chef at a restaurant. Well she was until it was forced to close because of social distancing rules. My sister’s two years older than me but acts like she’s ten years older. I guess that’s just a big sister thing. She’s studying Journalism. Imagine that, a woman who hates revealing anything about herself is going to make a living poking her nose into other people’s lives…. That brings me to my older brother. Oh dear, how am I going to explain this to you? I’ll just have to grin and bear it…. Note to self, edit out that bit later…. Oh, damn it, I’ll just get it out like he does. Here goes nothing…. he’s a stripper. Yep, he gets it all off for drunken women and gay boys; although, from what I hear, he’s supposed to be very good at it. But I’m not sure what that entails. I suppose he gets it out and gives it a twirl, I don’t really know, I’ve never seen him perform in public, but before he left home we used to share a bedroom and I can tell you that he has plenty of what the women want. Anyway, that‘s enough about him.

I know you’re dying to know more about me. As well as studying I also take dance classes, I mean real dance, classical ballet. Maybe next time we meet I’ll dress more appropriately and demonstrate a few movements such as Chasse, Jeteand Pirouettes for you, but no Pas de deux, for obvious reasons. When I leave school, I want to be a professional ballet dancer but Mum and Dad want me to get a degree first. There are a couple of problems with that. First they can’t agree on what I should study. Secondly, I can’t take four or more years off dancing; they are the most important development years for a dancer. Then most importantly of all, I don’t want to go to uni. I also have a hobby of sorts. I build miniature stages and sets for ballet productions. I started off using Lego but they didn’t look too real so now I use wood, plastic fabric cardboard and stuff like that. I’m currently working on a set for Swan Lake with a real lake on stage. It’s going to be spectacular. Maybe I’ll show you that when it’s finished.

Well, that’s all for now. If you like me, come back again and see me on Kevin’s YouTube channel. Thank you.”

He stopped record and said to himself ‘I think that went well. Not as hard as I thought’. Then on the spur of the moment he opened a YouTube account and uploaded his unedited file.

A few days later he checked his channel to see if he had any views or comments. There had been some views and two comments. Both were asking if his brother had a channel. Kevin was not impressed, and decided he would have to up his game for his next YouTube outing.

Taking the opportunity, while Kevin was otherwise engaged, Christine gathered her parents together to talk about her medical appointment the previous week.

“Mum and Dad I want to talk to you about my biopsy.”

“I’ve been wanting to ask you love, but didn’t want to seem pushy.” said Jenny.

“I felt the same way Chris, I hope all is well.” added Daniel

“Well, I still have another appointment to see the doctor but I do have the results.”

“Oh no, I just knew it. Is it cancer, can they treat it, tell us?”

“Mum, stop that. It’s not malignant, it’s not cancer, but it will continue to grow, so Doctor Sharp wants me to come in and have it removed. Because of its relatively small size, she can do it in the surgery with just local anaesthetic. I have an appointment for next week.”

“That’s wonderful Chris.” said Daniel. “See Jen, I told you not to worry so much.”

“I know, but you know me when it comes to the kids, I always worry about them.”

“How about we have a little celebratory drink.” offered Daniel.

“Great Dad, and while you get that I’ll get some more of my work for you to appraise.”

“Before you go, tells us how your previous assignment went.” asked Daniel

“My lecturer was impressed and added that I seem to have a flair for capturing the essence of the political environment.”

“That’s more great news, perhaps we might allow ourselves two celebratory drinks.”

“Go easy Dan, I read today that this lockdown situation has caused the level of alcohol consumption to increase dramatically.”

“Jen, two drinks is not a drama.”

As Dan returned with the drinks, Christine arrived back with her presentation.

(*Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was fond of using this expression)