The Covids - 38. The Magpie

Kevin sat for his maths exam with a little grumbling afterwards about some of the questions being confusing. Again, he and Steve planned to walk home together after meeting at a nearby park, having taken different routes to avoid arousing suspicion. Steve arrived first with Kevin not far behind. “Well, up and at it.” demanded Kevin.

“No, sit down I want to talk first.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, not wrong, I just need some help making a decision.”

“What decision, has it anything to do with me?”

“Sort of, I’m not out at school or at home and I don’t know how long I can keep it secret. Actually I don’t want to keep it a secret any longer, it’s too hard. Now that we are together, I want everyone to know.”

“So what’s stopping you telling your parents?”

“The usual, I suppose, shock, horror, disappointment, being cut out of the will.”

“The will?”

“That bit was a joke.”

“Oh, ha ha, but it’s not really that hard, in fact, I told my Dad last week and the rest of my family, last night.”

“Wow, how did they take it?”

“Words to the effect of, well about time Kev, we already know. Disappointing really, I was expecting shock and horror like, oh darling Kevin, what did we do wrong to make you like this, but if that’s your decision then we must accept it. You’re still our son and we still love you.”

“You got off easy and you’re complaining?”

“I wanted just a little bit of drama, maybe a lot of drama with some crying as well, but nothing, just acceptance. What’s a bloke gotta do to get a rise out of my family?”

“Kevin, do you ever think that your family has gotten used to your dramatics and they might now be almost unshockable?”

“Do you think?”

“Or maybe you’ve just given them so many signals and they’ve grown into it.”

“Let’s not make this all about me, we’re supposed to be getting you sorted.”

“Kevin, it’s always about you.”

“Hey, are we having our first couple’s fight. It’s only been one day?”

“No, we’re not having a fight, I love the way you and your family sort stuff out, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Oh good then... Hey, I’m glad you mentioned telling your family, because I forgot to tell you about your father and what he told my father about you.”

“Our fathers have been talking about me...what, what?”

“See, it’s not always about me. Anyway, they ran into each other on Fathers’ Day when out walking. Your dad said he was worried about you being away from home so much and him not knowing where you were. So, my dad said you spent a lot of time at my place.”

Steve interrupted “Why did he say that?”

“But he added that we were studying.”

“That’s ok then.”

“But, he also said he was concerned that you didn’t seem to have a girlfriend and didn’t even talk about girls.”

“Shit, that’s a worry.”

“Not necessarily so, it might mean he’s starting to work it out for himself.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Might be, look how my family reacted because they figured it out.”

“Yeah, maybe this won’t be such a big deal after all.” concluded Steve.

“Fuck!” cursed Kevin as he was swooped by a magpie. “Those oversexed bastards are at it again.”

“They’re only defending their nest and their young.”

“I’m not much threat.”

“They don’t know that. Anyway looks like he’s found someone else to attack. There must be someone behind that tree where he’s swooping.”

“Yeah, look the poor bugger’s making a run for it, but the maggie’s chasing him. ”

“Hey, isn’t that Efron being chased? What a hoot” said Steve.

“You’re right, why’s he here, he lives over in the valley on the other side of school, and why was he hiding behind a tree? You don’t think he was watching us?”

“Maybe, what should we do?”

“Let’s go ask him. We can say we’ve come to rescue him from the maggie and then see what he says.”

“No, I’d rather watch for a while and see what he does when the magpie’s finished with him.” suggested Steve.

“Good thinking. Hey, this reminds me of when we were in primary school and we used to wear ice cream buckets on our heads when walking to school. And there was that teacher who told us that if we painted eyes in the ice cream bucket, the magpies would not attack because they would think they were being watched.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think he meant that you should add a pair of Dame Edna glasses.”

“Well, an ice cream bucket on your head is not much of a fashion statement, is it?”

“Hey, looks like the maggie’s finished with Efron, but he’s still running.”

“Good, keeping running you nosy bastard.”

“Do you think he’ll out us?” asked Steve.

“What? and risk being outed himself. Two can play that game.”

“Now back to my girl problem, what should I do?”

“Well, I think you should just tell your parents; what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Ostracism, homelessness, poverty and all leading to suicide.”

“Oh please spare me the dramatics; I’m supposed to be the drama queen here.”

“I know it won’t be that bad but just the same it will be uncomfortable.”

“Steve, just do it, rip off the bandaid in one go. Think of it this way.You only have to do it once.”

“I s’pose you’re right, but what about school?”

“What school, when we finish our exams at the end of this month there is no more school and we don’t have to see any of them again if we don’t want to.”

“Yes, that’s right, but we’ve still got the end of year formal.”

“Perfect time to come out; we’ll go as a couple. Be each other’s date. It will be just perfect. I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when you take my hand and lead me onto the dancefloor.”

“You know, there is an evil side to your personality Kevin.”

“Don’t you just love it?”

Steve did tell his parents that night. His mother was a little teary, muttered something about grandchildren but was generally supportive. His father at first said he was surprised but not shocked. Then after a few moments reflection said “You know, I should have picked up on the clues, they were there. So, are you seeing anyone? Is that the right term for...you know?”

“Yes Dad, I am seeing someone and you know him. It’s Kevin.”

“Ahah, again I missed the clue. Daniel practically told me that and I didn’t pick it up.”

“Steve, how long has this been going on?” his mother asked.

“This, as you put it, very recently, but in reality we have been friends since primary school. Remember my first day at the local school when we moved here, Kevin showed me the way to school and we’ve been best friends since. So it’s probably developed so slowly we didn’t recognise it until now.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised about the other boy though, all those ballet lessons, the colourful clothes and the way he talks, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“Dad, don’t dismiss Kevin that way, it’s unkind. I chose him as my friend and until now you’ve always accepted that. At least I thought you did.”

“Of course Son, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to your friend.”

“By the way Dad, he has a name, it’s Kevin.”

“Yes, I know, Kevin your best friend.”

“No, Kevin my boyfriend.”

“Is that so.”

That night Christine was distracted from her studies when she remembered the comments made to her lately about her perceived interest in the young motor bike rider up the street. She had not consciously thought of him as anything more than a neighbour, so why did her family think she had an interest in him?

‘Maybe I have been showing an interest in him that I haven’t noticed myself. Sure, he’s good looking. He certainly looks hot in those tight fitting leathers and I’ve not ever seen him with a passenger, so maybe he is available. Hey, back up Christine, you sound interested. Ok, I’m already judged as having the hots for him, so why not go for it. Lucas is a nice name. How do I get his attention? But then again, if he was interested why hasn’t he approached me? Am I invisible to him; if so, I’m going to fix that. What was it Kevin said, I was one step away from lying on the road to get his attention. That’s probably a bit drastic, I’ll have to be more subtle than that. I know what I’ll do. Every Saturday morning he washes and polishes his bike in the driveway. If I just happen to be passing by tomorrow....Yes that’s it, a stroll through the neighbourhood. Or maybe I should go jogging he might be attracted to the athletic type of woman. No that’s no good, I’d pass by so quickly he might not notice and I can hardly stop mid-run, that’s a bit obvious. Yes, a slow stroll that’s way to go. Damn, wish we still had a dog.’

Daniel was up early on Saturday morning and called the hospital so he could update the family when they all gathered for breakfast. “They say there’s no change overnight other than she is more stable since she was put on the ventilator.”

“Well that’s something Dan, she hasn’t gone backwards, that’s encouraging.” said Jenny.

“It’s still a worry though, I’d like to hear of some improvement.”

“I know Dad, but stay positive.” said Christine.

“Thanks Chris, now what’s everybody planning to do over the weekend?”

“Steve and I are going on our first official date. He’s taking me to lunch and then I’m taking him to the movies. You don’t think they’ll make us socially distance at the movies do you? There’d be no point going if I can’t hold his hand.”

“I’m sure couples can sit together Kev.”

“Thanks Mum, but how will they know we’re a couple?”

“The look on your face when you’re together.”

“Really, it shows, that’s great.”

“Now, what have you got planned Sis, with nobody to take you on a date?”

“Don’t be so cruel Kevin, just because you’ve now got a boyfriend.”

“Well Chris what are you planning.” Kevin insisted.

“I thought I might just go for a long walk around the neighbourhood. All the gardens are in spring bloom, it should be nice.”

“That’s a lovely idea Chris.” said Jenny “Do you want some company.”

“Thanks, but I’d like to be alone with my thoughts, it’s been hectic around here and I need some quiet time.”

“Of course Chris, enjoy the beautiful spring morning.”

“Don’t forget to go via bikie’s place and see if there’s anything growing up there.” Kevin laughed at his own joke, but nobody else seemed to get it.

DAME EDNA GLASSES