Awaken - 23. Players

I took inventory of the men around me. The guards wore helmets and were faceless. They were different heights and shapes. Each man held a sword on their hip and had ten times the amount of training I’d had. I forced my eyes to Lex’s broad back. He wore a dark brown leather vest, straps running across the front horizontally to secure it. A mint green long-sleeved shirt was under it and my gaze dropped to the belt at his waist. It held multiple knives and I didn’t doubt Lex had trained with each one. Simple, brown pants fit into knee-high boots that matched his vest. It was the most…tactical I had ever seen him. I had to remind myself that Lex was a military captain. I had gotten the drop on him last night because he didn’t expect it. I didn’t stand a chance in hand-to-hand combat. Especially once you added his wind to the arsenal. I was unarmed, inexperienced, and I was outnumbered. I would have to try to be on my best behavior or who knew what my jilted fiancé would unleash.

“Do you know that I had tried for months to think of the best way to ask for your hand? And then in the end it was all thrown away in a rushed attempt to shield you from the world.” The anger in his voice sent a chill down my spine. His narrative of events was so warped, so twisted. I wondered after his mind. When had he become so unstable?

“Is that what you were doing?” He glared at me over his shoulder and a guard shoved me once again. I turned to shoot my own glare at the guard. Dull brown eyes looked back at me but filled with anger, of all things. I’ve never met this man in my life, what could I have done to offend him so much? I realized the answer as soon as I considered the question. He had to be one of Lex’s men and I had just insulted his captain. I made a great show of rolling my eyes before facing forward again.

“I have only ever tried to keep you safe. You are safest with me.” His voice was tight, the effort growing to fight back his anger.

“I have never felt safe with you, not once. I’ve watched Talon cut a man in half and I’ve never felt unsafe with him.” I argued, earning another shove from my favorite guard.

Lex stopped abruptly, turning on me, “You feel safe with a man who kills for a living? It’s his main livelihood. I heard he once disemboweled a man and hung his organs from the rafters of the man’s home to send a message. Do you think his family feared Talon or do you think they thought of his handsome face when they had to clean up pieces of their husband, their father, off the walls?”

I blinked in surprise and Lex soldiered on, “He once sliced small pieces off a man whilst interrogating him. Rumor has it, it took days for the man to perish. Don’t worry he got some breaks. Apparently, Talon liked to bring along snacks for intermissions. I certainly couldn’t eat while I was torturing someone, breaking their spirit through suffering. That’s evil. A psychopath.”

He was on a roll now, his face flushing red, “He hung a man from the chandelier in the main foyer of his home. He made sure to rip out his tongue first though. I guess he was saying things he shouldn’t.”

“Stop.” I made to cover my ears, but Lex batted my hands away.

“Do you know what I think the worst thing is? Do you want to know Kalian? His teacher, Syris, was dead for three weeks before he tried to give him a proper burial. He kept raking in his old master’s profits though. Imagine that? Making money off your father figure as he rots in the spare bedroom?”

I covered my mouth and looked away from him, “You’re lying Lex. That’s all you do.”

He yanked my chin toward him, sage green eyes blazing, “Ask him, liebe.” Without another word Mallex turned away from me, marching us toward an ornate blue door at the end of the long hallway we walked down. A deep blue carpet stretched under our feet toward the door. Much like the Queen’s hall, pictures of past kings lined the walls on either side. I barely registered the current king’s portrait as we went by. He looked younger and his eyes were painted sharper than I had seen in person.

My heart was racing as I tried to pull together some rationality. As if I had broadcasted my panic, a comforting sensation drifted over the connection. It started caressing gently against my crumpling mental walls. I physically jerked and slammed down the thickest, highest walls I could. I severed the tether and that caress died with it. I couldn’t stand the feel of Talon’s mind against my own right now. Not until I knew if these things were indeed true. I couldn’t make sense of it. If Talon did all this while in the Verseckt, how could Mallex know? Was anything in this shithole an actual secret? Did Tyren know of this? Talon had never tried to hide who he was. He’d outright told me that he killed people. Why then, was it so jarring for me to hear what blood wet his hands? Hands that had been all over me. Hands I looked to for comfort in my darkest moments over the last few months. Even as I thought it through, my stomach churned.

Lex was a few feet in front of us and he shoved open the great doors, continuing into the room as we made our way in after him. He separated from us and crossed the room to stand with a group of men to the king’s right. They wore the finest clothes, and each had a pin with a lion secured to their chests, right above their hearts. This was the Oben then. My eyes fell to the king who was fixated on an ornate chessboard.

He looked frustrated and I jumped as he shouted when he noticed me, “Kalian! I was given the most terrible news! Your family has disowned you after our conversation!”

“Yes, your majesty. They made the decision very quickly it seems.” I ground out, forcing myself to smile at him.

“Now, Anders’ man tells me you’re living in the second ring? Outrageous! I won’t allow it!” He blubbered on, his eyes were bloodshot, spit flying from his mouth as he spoke. His hair was mussed like he’d just awoken, his crown askew. He didn’t look much like a king. Something was wrong here. A creeping fear slid up my back and I watched a man step forward, his hand resting on the throne. It was less extravagant than the one in the main hall. It was made of light oak and polished to a stunning shine. Antlers curled above the king’s head, reaching for the ceiling. I took in the man who’d moved up, he had mousey brown hair that fell to his chin in a pin-straight curtain. His eyes were the palest blue, water frozen over. There was no emotion in them. There was no emotion in any part of his face. He wore a chocolate brown vest with a cream undershirt, his pants the same brown. Like Lex, he also had tall, leather boots. His eyes roamed over every part of me. Then they flicked over to where Lex stood with the Oben. Lex inclined his head, and an empty smile graced the man’s features. Those cold blue eyes returned to me and I was filled with unease.

“We’ll have you moved immediately. Captain! Captain! Captain Nainde!” The king bellowed even though Lex couldn’t have been more than twenty feet away. The members of the Oben exchanged irritated glances and the man behind the throne lifted a lip in the slightest sneer.

Lex stepped into his field of vision, a fake smile plastered on his face, “Your highness?”

“Arrange new lodgings for him! I’m sure the dorms have a room available!” Looks were shared again and I glanced between the group and king with irritation.

Lex bowed deeply, “Of course your Majesty, but may I suggest I put him up in my family house? Disowned or not, our engagement stands, yes?”

“My family made that decision for me. I’m no longer a part of that family so why would their choice continue to matter?” Lex’s eyes snapped to the man behind the king who met his gaze and raised an eyebrow.

“The boy has a point Nainde. If you’re so set on that family, I hear tell there is a daughter?” The king mumbled, slowly losing interest, “Put him in the dorms. I no longer recognize your engagement if he is no longer a member of the family who arranged it.”

“I do not care about the family. It is the person I want.” Lex bit out, failing to keep the rage from boiling over into his voice.

“Anders, leash your pet. I will not be spoken to with such a disrespectful tone.” The man-Anders-narrowed his eyes for the briefest of moments and Lex dipped his head before bowing to the king.

“Apologies my king, my judgment was clouded for a moment by my love. I will find a dorm room available as soon as I leave this meeting.” His mask was back in place, his voice sickeningly pleasant.

“Good. Remember your place boy. You aren’t Oben yet.” The king growled.

“Your highness? I apologize for the interruption. Is it possible I could be given a private dwelling? I have travel companions that I cannot be without.”

“Ah yes, your brother and the Shadow Walker. I suppose if they are needed, we could find you a more private residence. Nainde?” How many nicknames did Talon have? The king stroked his beard and I saw the wrath flare in sage green eyes.

“It. Would. Be. My. Pleasure. Highness.” He forced out the words through clenched teeth and after a sharp look from Anders, returned to his spot with the other men.

“Apologies, one more question my king?” I asked, trying to appear timid and sweet.

“What is it, boy?” He looked at me with amusement.

“Have you had any time to consider my request to start my own legacy?” Anders’ mouth pressed into a thin line as he stepped around the throne.

He placed a hand on the arm of the throne, right next to the king’s, ”The king is a busy man. Do you think your issue is the only one he has to deal with?”

“Of course not, but we are already having a meeting. Why not ask now instead of setting up another meeting and wasting more of his precious time?” I spat at him, wincing when the guards behind me shuffled closer.

“I am still considering it Kalian. I will decide soon.” Anders waved his hand with that and the guards circled me again, marching me from the room. Lex did not join us this time and I caught another exchange of looks between him and Anders. As the door closed that final inch, green eyes found mine. The rage was gone, his face was stone, and he held my gaze until the door shut. For some reason that worried me even more.

As per normal, my head was a scramble of messy thoughts. What was Lex up to? Was Anders helping him in some way or was it the other way around? If they were working together, I had a sinking sense that we were all in deep trouble. Lex was smart and ambitious and was quickly proving he would blur lines of morality if it meant he got what he wanted. Anders, I knew nothing about him, but he held power and influence. More than once during the meeting, the members of the Oben had looked to him for a reaction to whatever the king had said. That could not have been normal. My thoughts dipped back to Lex and what he’d said about Talon. What he had told me Talon had done. My Talon. My stomach twisted again. No. This was exactly what Lex wanted. He’d said it himself. He had been trying to ruin the safety and comfort I associated with Talon. I had never felt threatened by him.

No, no. What had I been thinking? I rubbed my chest as the men hurried me from the main hall. I had shut Talon out. I had been playing right into Lex’s hands. I let my mental walls slip a bit and felt around for the press of his mind against mine. I met…nothing. I wondered what damage I’d done when I shut him out. I couldn’t even find the tether now. My lips pressed together in worry as it occurred to me that Talon must’ve built walls even higher than mine.

I was taken to the school grounds before my escorts left me, one running hard into my shoulder as he left. I scowled at him but none of them paid me any mind as they returned to the palace. I trudged to Tyren’s building. I barely paid any mind to the other students as I moved through the classroom and up the stairs. I slid open the door to Tyren’s classroom and yellow eyes met mine. Tyren was sprawled across his window seat, the sunlight spilling across his dark skin and making it look like he was lit from within. He closed his eyes as I looked around the room. Talon was gone. I heard myself let out a sigh and Tyren’s eyes slowly reopened.

“He’s gone?” I asked softly, stepping into the room.

“Talon has been called away. Official business.” He was quiet for a second before he pushed himself to stand, “I think it’s time we address this special connection you two have. I’ve never heard of anything like it.”

“Address it how?” I slid onto the closest desk, lazily dragging my feet across the floor.

“What are you able to do or see? Are there limits to how far apart you can be? Can you speak to each other? Can you tell what he’s feeling or what is happening to him?” I blinked at the rapid-fire questions. I once again reached over the tether and felt the tiniest bit of excitement as I received an answer. The most subtle acknowledgment. I let out a breath of relief.

“We’ve never tested it over a long distance. We can communicate and we both can see what’s happening to the other if our minds are open. Sometimes if our emotions are extreme enough, they tear through the cracks in our mental walls.”

“Mental walls? Surely something Talon has taught you.” Tyren’s eyes lit up and he looked as though he’d thought of hundreds of more questions.

“Yes, I don’t have many answers for you. It simply started one day.” I rubbed my cheek against my palm as I zoned out.

“You look exhausted. Perhaps we should cut our lesson short today. Go see Athel.” Tyren strolled toward the door, waving his hand. It opened smoothly, “I have to check on my other students downstairs.”

I rubbed my eyes and sighed, “I feel as though we barely had a lesson today. All these politics are starting to stall my learning.”

“We’ll catch up. I promise. You’ll get there, Kalian.” Tyren smiled at me as he disappeared down the spiral staircase. I heard the metal clang as he descended and then heard the voices carry up from the classroom below. I let my hand drop from my face and sent my awareness more forcibly across the connection.

Talon?

Nothing. Not even a shudder of his presence in my mind. I hadn’t tried to speak to him across it before without him in the same room. This was an experiment and it looked like it had failed. I sighed and stood, grabbing my things. I tromped down the stairs and waved to a scowling Phelti. I waved at Fallyn, Ajul, and Lyme as well. Each gave me a slightly different response. Ajul averted her eyes quickly, Fallyn gave me a lazy smile. Finally, Lyme rubbed his temples and narrowed his eyes at me. Sometimes it bothered me that I had no interaction with the others. Maybe I should mention it to Tyren? I already had a limited number of friends. Maybe my small band of misfits could include a couple more?

I pulled myself from my thoughts as I shoved my way through the door onto the school grounds. I dragged myself to Athel’s training grounds and found the small woman seated on a rock. She didn’t look up as I approached her and my stomach sank. A quiet Athel was a scary Athel.

“I apologize. I know that I’ve been neglecting my training.” I sighed.

“Stressed boy?” Her voice was quiet but was missing her normal cranky tone.

I swallowed hard. For some reason having Athel ask me that brought all my emotions to the surface, “Yes, but this is important to me.”

She finally looked up and I blinked at the sadness in her eyes, “Lot on your shoulders. So young. Still child.” The corners of my eyes burned, and I took a deep breath, letting my head fall back. I stared up at the fluffy clouds as they drifted by. I heard Athel shift and stand. She lightly smacked my stomach and I glanced down at her. Her fierce look had returned, and she scowled at me, “Get in ring boy. You need to spar.”

                                *

My muscles screamed as I stretched them. I hadn’t heard anything about our new lodgings, and I stood in front of the palace as I waited for Talon. He had promised to walk me back this morning, but I was beginning to wonder where he was. I’d finished my lesson with Athel late and had rushed to where we’d planned to meet. He hadn’t been waiting and a quick word with the surly guards confirmed they hadn’t seen him either.

I rubbed the new bruise on my hip and tried again Talon? Where are you?

I waited for a few moments and something gently rolled over the connection before that familiar voice rumbled through my mind, I am…busy. Someone else is coming to get you.

I shuddered and bit my lip as his voice caressed every inch of my mind, I can go by myself. You don’t have to send a babysitter.

Mm, I didn’t ask Sunshine.

With that, the connection severed, and his presence withdrew from my mind. I scowled to myself and looked around, trying to spot whoever was coming to get me. Both Talon and Eon had told me that I shouldn’t be in the lower levels alone and I resented the implication that I couldn’t take care of myself. I sighed and leaned against the cool white marble wall that stood around the castle, wondering when my escort would arrive. I didn’t have to wait long.

“It’s you again! You got prettier!” I cringed hard and let my head fall back against the wall. There’s no way he did this to me. It was confirmed when thin arms wrapped around me and her chest smashed against mine. Amaris’ long hair was swept away from her face in an intricate bun and there wasn’t much of her left to the imagination. She wore a leather strapless bustier and leather pants, knives strapped to her back and thighs. My breath caught. The soft female I had met now looked battle-ready and I had to remind myself she was in the Verseckt with Talon. Her dark eyes were lined with kohl and right away I felt that annoying jealousy run through my stomach.

I pulled her arms off me and felt my nose scrunch in disgust, “He sent you?”

“Well of course he did. He couldn’t let such precious goods enter the lower levels unguarded.” She grinned up at me and I sighed. I pushed off the wall and started what I was sure would be a painful walk. Amaris remained silent, falling into step beside me.

I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m going to kill you. A laugh rippled across the tether and I slipped deeper into a mood.

“…Sister?” I hadn’t been listening, but my gaze jerked to her as I caught the last word of her sentence.

“What?” I asked, wincing at how harsh my tone was.

“The girl with hair like fire. Is she your sister?” She was looking straight ahead as we walked, her face blank.

“It very well could be. She uses water Magik. Blue eyes? She wears blue a lot as well.” I glanced at the treelined path as we walked.

“I think it was her. Her clothes were too fine for the lower levels. The company she kept is what first drew my attention though.”

“What do you mean?” My interest was piqued, and Amaris’ eyes scanned the path in front of us. Her lips were painted blood red and they pressed tightly together at my question.

“Captain Nainde. He really is handsome. Inexplicably evil, but handsome.”

I froze as my breath struggled to escape my lungs, “What?”

She kept walking and paused a few feet away, “Both looked rather…annoyed. Her nails look like claws huh?”

I barely heard her as my heart slammed in my chest. I squeezed my hands into fists and closed my eyes as I took deep breaths. I had no idea what they were doing. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart. I had to be smart. Maybe Amaris had heard something. Any chance at gathering information on Mallex’s plans couldn’t be ignored, “Did you hear anything that was said?”

She turned now, her face breaking into a stunning smile, “Maybe I did little lord. What will you give me for the information?” I sighed and walked past her. We were both quiet for a long while. I could feel her eyes on me, a smile still pulling at her pretty features. Objectively, I could see why anyone would want her. The leather and blades added to the overall appeal and I couldn’t fault Talon for being interested. I shook my head and sighed to myself. Whatever their history, Talon was mine. I smiled to myself and looked up as we reached the end of the third layer. Another half hour and we would be back at my temporary home.

“Did you not want to know what I heard?” Her voice was teasing. I looked back at her and noticed her eyes fixed on me. She held herself more rigid as the number of people we came upon increased.

“It depends on what you want for the information,” I mumbled.

“Information for information, my lord.” I could hear the grin in her light voice.

“I’m not a lord anymore. What do you want to know?” I smiled at a mother and child as we passed. They smiled back at me before they saw Amaris. The mother’s eyes widened fearfully, and she pulled the youngster behind her as Amaris passed.

“Have you slept with him?” I blinked and tore my eyes from the people, meeting her gaze. A shadow had fallen over her face and she pushed the tip of her tongue against her incisor as she studied me.

“Yes.” I turned from her and kept walking. I heard the click of her heels as she followed.

“They spoke of Talon.” Her voice was low, the happiness gone.

“What about him?” The beautifully laid cobblestones were starting to give way to rougher, older bricks. We were getting closer to the second layer.

“Ah ah. Do you sleep in the same bed?” She had attempted to make her voice teasing but it still came out sharp. Jealousy?

“That’s rather personal.” I mumbled, “So was the last question.”

“You have the information I need and vice-versa.” She snapped.

“Jealous Amaris? Need the details on an ex?” I said, struggling to keep emotion from my voice.

“So, what if I do? Answer the question or go without the answers you want. Makes no difference to me.” Her voice had changed again, a dangerous note creeping in.

“We do. Most nights.” It felt like a violation. I didn’t know what telling her these things would mean. Would she somehow use this against Talon? Was I putting him in a bad position?

“They’re trying to get rid of him. Whether through official channels or…more insidious ones.” We had finally come to the large gate that opened into the second lowest layer. The guards opened it and I rolled my eyes as theirs roamed over Amaris. She seemed to bask in the attention, adding additional sway to her hips.

“Do you love him?” I bit my lip as I wondered how far I would let this go. I wasn’t sure if I was willing to give her this. It was a piece of me that I kept closest to my heart.

I thought of Anika and Mallex moving against Talon and I had my answer, “Yes.”

I tried to ignore her sharp intake of breath and pushed my feet to move fast even as they ached from Athel’s training. Her voice had slid fully into anger, “They’re working together. Nainde wants him gone because, for some reason, he’s obsessed with you. She wants all your little group out of the way. You, your brother, Talon, and anyone else in her way. The gorgeous, evil, little bitch thinks that with you gone she’ll have a shot at the Captain. They’re both joyfully delusional.”

I rolled that over in my mind and tried to ignore the twisting in my stomach. How could she do that to Eon and me? We were her brothers, her family? For Gods’ sake what had made her into this monster? I rubbed my face as I forced myself to accept the answer. Ambition and greed. She felt she was entitled to everything she wanted. Much like Mallex. At least he had put in the work, though. Anika had been handed everything from the time she was young. I wondered to myself if even this amount of effort seemed strenuous to her.

“Does he love you?” Her voice was a deceptively calm wave that rolled through me, the anger and hesitation in it obvious. The number of people on the streets had doubled and the second layer’s clientele bustled around us, all much rougher in appearance than the people we’d passed in the third. Amaris’ head was on a swivel even as she waited for my answer. Her entire body was tense.

“I don’t know.” The answer hurt my chest and the cruel smirk that spread on her face deepened that ache. She was…triumphant. I shook it off with an eye roll.

“They are planning something for him. I’m not sure what or when but I’m sure it won’t be pleasant. They’re smart. They know Talon’s a force to be reckoned with. Their own powers alone won’t be enough. Who knows cutie? Maybe they’ll use you against him?” She giggled at the end and I spun on her, my anger getting the best of me.

“Do not,” my voice shook with rage as I looked down at her, “assume that I’m the same boy you met in his home months ago. I may not have extensive training but I’m not a damsel in distress and if anyone, and I mean anyone, harms him…I. Will. Slaughter. Them.” I kept my gaze on hers and something in my expression drove the smirk from her face. She studied me as if seeing me for the first time, a stray curl falling onto her forehead as we stared each other down.

“Are we making friends?” That low voice soothed my anger as soon as I heard it and I turned to see Talon strolling towards us. We were in the middle of the street, stalls on either side of the worn road. People milled around us, oblivious to the tension between Amaris and me. Talon wore a tight, black, leather vest with multiple buckles that clung to his torso, leather pants, and boots completing the black ensemble. His hair was up in his usual loose bun and he had a sword strapped to his back. My mouth dried at the sight of him, and I bit my lower lip hard as my emotions shifted violently in another direction.

“Tallie!” If my eyes rolled any harder, I wouldn’t be able to retrieve them from inside my skull. She lunged around me and threw her arms around his neck. She pressed her body against his, but his eyes were on me. They scanned over me as he cataloged every new bruise.

She pulled away as if she’d been burned when he smirked softly at me, “Athel kick your ass again baby?”

My stomach fluttered and I watched him step around her and stalk toward me. He lifted my tunic right there in the street and raised a questioning brow at me. A purple bruise was starting to darken over my hip and left side.

“I got cocky,” I said in answer.

He stepped farther into my space, “I’m sure she remedied that nearly instantaneously.”

I laughed and he winked at me, his fingers lacing with mine. I leaned against him, not trying to hide my gaze as it slipped over the entire leather ensemble, “Is this your uniform? Does the leather distract your target?”

“Of course. Why resort to violence when I am so, impossibly, good-looking. With that said, is that what you are beautiful? Distracted?” His fingers ghosted over my jaw and I felt heat creep over my cheeks. All at once, I seemed to remember that we were in the middle of a busy street and Amaris was staring at us. I let my gaze drift to her and felt a sharp stab of satisfaction at her crestfallen expression. She did away with it before flipping a tendril of hair that had snaked free over her shoulder.

“Well, if I’m done babysitting your little whore, I think I’ll be off.” I had almost felt bad for the momentary devastation in her face. Almost. She’d dashed that the minute she insulted me. I blinked as her face grew pale, eyes widening. Talon’s grip loosened on my fingers and I looked up. His irises were pools of onyx, his lip curled in a sneer. His fingers flexed against mine and I tightened my grip.

His voice was quiet, but it managed to carry all the feral anger pulsing across the bond, “Do not ever call him that again.”

She shook her head for a moment, and I watched her fingers caress one of her blades’ hilts, “Why does it matter what I call him? He’s just the flavor of the week. I know you Talon. You’ll be back to me before my bed cools.” Her voice rose to a saccharine note at the edge of her sentence and Talon’s stance became more tense. I stepped away from him and they both seemed surprised.

“Could you perhaps, oh I don’t know, fuck off? I don’t need all the training in the world to blind you. To burn your very eyes from that pretty little head of yours. I bet you I can do it before you draw that knife.” Her expression cooled immediately and the three of us looked to where her hand was poised above her blade.

“Do you want to test that theory cutie?” Her voice had returned to that higher, faker pitch, but I was focused on the predatory look in her eyes.

“Enough. Amaris, leave. Now.” Talon’s voice had returned to normal, his hand coming to rest on my lower back as he came to stand closer to me. She didn’t answer, only narrowed her eyes at me, stroking that blade as if making a promise.

“That’s okay! Mallex has been more fun lately anyway!” She exclaimed sweetly as she pushed through people, disappearing into the crowd. A tug on my hand and Talon and I finished the walk to his back alley. We’d been only ten minutes away. I felt embarrassment rush through me. Talon had endured torture, Eon was suffering from a head wound, and me? I couldn’t even stand a romantic rival’s company for a full hour.

“I think you should threaten more people.” Talon broke our silence as he pushed open the door to our temporary home.

“You threatened someone?” Eon questioned, his short, bronze hair a mess. I stepped into the main living space and frowned at the mess of papers spread before him. There were quills for writing and a stack of books that were almost as tall as me.

“Should you be working this hard? Your headaches…” I murmured with concern.

“He’s not a child Sunshine. If he thinks himself capable of the work let him.” Talon threw himself onto one of the couches, sprawling out. His voice was light, full of his normal amusement. It didn’t reach his eyes however, they were troubled. The black was still subsiding, and the grey was riddled with…apprehension.

“I ask again, brother, you threatened someone?” Eon held a few papers in his hands, ink smudged over them.

“Yes, an old friend.” I sighed softly, not proud of how I’d conducted myself with Amaris. Information of not, she’d been baiting me at every turn. She’d wanted me to lose my cool and when she had barely poked-I’d given her exactly what she wanted.

“We’re threatening our friends now?” Eon looked beyond confused, running a finger over his face and smearing ink across his cheekbone. He looked tired, almost haggard, and I wondered how long he’d been doing…whatever it was he was doing.

“What are you doing Eon?” I made to reach for a nearby slip of paper and he snatched it away from me. I recognized his messy scrawl across the sheet and narrowed my eyes, “What’s going on here?”

“It’s a plan. A very loose one. If the king doesn’t grant you a title and lands, I foresee Mallex trying to push for the engagement to be honored. The king will have a lot of motivation to keep you. You are his new favorite after all. It wouldn’t be the first time the king blatantly ignored his subject’s wishes to get what he wanted. If you want to stay at court, it will be tricky, but I think I can figure out a way to get most of the benefits while reducing the shame and stigma.”

My head spun for a moment, “Shame? Stigma?”

“Without your family’s title, you’re both peasants like me.” Talon explained from his couch. A bottle of wine had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, “Welcome to the lower rungs of society, gorgeous.” He tilted the bottle of red toward me in a silent toast and took a swig.

“Well, that’s not entirely true. The Talon being a peasant part.” Eon was mumbling to himself and he dug through papers, “Tyren actually brought this to my attention. Your fellow student, Lyme, has been studying monarchies around the world. Including our neighbors in Dleth.” Eon looked up at that and Talon and I both stared at him. The bottle of wine was halfway to Talon’s mouth. He almost clunked it against his teeth as he fell into a fit of laughter.

Eon frowned and I couldn’t do anything, still staring at my brother, “E, what are you saying?”

“That Talon’s father was part of the royal family in Dleth before he married his mother.” My brother nodded, his eyes lighting up.

“Mm there it is Eon. The before. Which means that whilst my father may have been royalty at one point, it was already past tense when I was born. Sorry to dash your hopes but still a peasant.” Talon took another swig of the wine, his lips tinged a pinkish hue.

“It doesn’t matter. You still have a claim.” Eon insisted, “Your father wasn’t technically disowned.”

“Technically?” Talon drawled, the picture of casual indifference. I saw through it though, could feel the roiling emotions even through both of our mental walls.

“He and your mother eloped, and then they ran until…”

“Until they popped out three little monsters and were murdered.” Talon finished, ice coating his words. Eon flinched at the phrasing. His fingers rose to rub his temples. I saw the hope there slowly dying and Talon added more nails to the coffin.

“I appreciate the effort, but my ties to that country died a long time ago. As did its ties to me. We’re going to have to find yet another solution.” Talon had tried to soften his voice, but the words were still sharp. I didn’t miss the pain that flitted across his features.

“I’m going to try and figure out something else then,” Eon said as he gathered his papers and writing supplies. My heart ached as I watched him walk away. I had never seen so much emotion or heard so many words from my brother. He must’ve been working on this theory at least all day if not far longer.

I turned to Talon, a glare already on my face, “Why- “

“I’m leaving.” His voice wasn’t angry or frustrated. Once again, I stared at him. His arm was draped over his eyes now, wine bottle dragging against the floor.

“What?” My voice was incredulous.

“I’m leaving. The day after tomorrow. I’ve been assigned a mission.” He didn’t look at me, hiding behind that arm.

“You can’t leave! We need you here!” My voice was creeping higher and he dropped his arm and grimced at my volume.

“I have no choice Kalian. It isn’t something I can say no to. I’m in service to his majesty.” He was trying to soothe me, through his voice and his gentle presence across the tether. He’d sat up, the wine bottle forgotten on the ground.

“I can’t do this alone! I can’t do it without you!” My eyes were burning as I shouted at him. He held his hands up as he walked closer. As if he was approaching an injured animal. Maybe that’s what I was. I could feel my control and calm slipping rapidly.

“You are not alone, nor will you be. Eon and Tyren are here. They guide you better than I do. I’m terrible at this political stuff. Much better with a sharp object or my body.” He quirked an eyebrow at me, trying to get me to laugh at the stupid implication in his words. I didn’t laugh. I didn’t even smile.

“I need you here.” My voice broke and he frowned deeply. How Talon had managed to crush so much hope in one day I would never know. Maybe he had a hidden gift we didn’t know about?

He rubbed his hand over his face as he reached for me, “I’ve already prepared some tinctures and tonics in case Athel beats you to hell again. There’s a red vial in there specifically for Eon’s headaches. Make sure he sleeps. Directions are etched on the glass.” I let him hold my hand, his thumb rubbing gently over the top before he lifted it to his mouth. He kissed each knuckle, his eyes trained on my face. I stared through him, unseeing. He’d been my rock through everything, my source of strength.

“You’ll have to rely on your own strength, Kalian.” I hadn’t realized my walls were down until he answered my thought.

“How long will you be gone?” As soon as I had thought myself completely broken, I rallied. There was too much at stake to fall apart now. Would it be harder on me without him? Undoubtedly. Would I still find a way to make my life what I wanted? What I had dreamed about in that cramped closet, staring at a candle that I couldn’t light? Absolutely.

“I don’t know. It depends on how everything goes.” With the mission. He was leaving to kill someone. Mallex’s words came to me again and I looked up at Talon.

“Do you enjoy it? Ending peoples’ lives?” My voice was low but firm. I had regained my composure.

A sad smile formed on his face, “No. I don’t enjoy killing people who aren’t actively trying to kill me or someone I care about. Mallex told you some fun stories.” I couldn’t force my walls up. I couldn’t convince myself to care.

“I will tell you everything when I come back.” A promise.

The only question was whether I’d be able to hold off our enemies until he did.