The Next Stage - 11. Facing Reality

“You can legally request your money back.”

Jasper lies on the uncomfortable bed in the stuffy room, listening to the suggestions and plans being made to handle his situation. He wasn't even sure he wanted to do anything about it. The whole botched charity thing had just drawn all the excitement and anticipation out of him right at the end of the tour. He'd done so much, gone through so much, and been drained but holding on, just for this almighty fuck-up to plummet him into another low. He knew returning here would be hard, but when he left, he promised he'd do all he could to help the community and the kids. To return years later and see he'd made no difference, all this time, was such a depressing revelation.

“He can’t sue a third world country over funds used for medical treatment during a pandemic. The media would have a field day and he’d be cancelled.” As usual, Leo was doing his best to take control of the situation while Jasper was in total shut down. Three days. Three days, Jasper had barely done more than agree or refuse Leo's suggestions of self-care. He'd finally agreed to an intervention via Zoom, with his lawyer and manager, and was still nowhere near capable of maintaining a professional conversation about it. Partly because he felt responsible for this, like it was his own fault and he didn't have any right to pass blame or complain. Mostly, though, he felt no inclination to follow it up. It would be easier to just leave and pretend he'd not wasted so much money on a flawed and selfish government system.

“Don’t worry too much about your image, Jasper. We’ve got you covered; I promise. We have your mission statement signed, your donation agreement signed and dated by both parties. The building plans and agreements and dates are all on file. They cannot argue that you set out to allocate your money to the rich of the country. It’s all in the paperwork that they reneged on their agreed use of the funds.” Mark says with gentle reassurance.

“Mm, even without the media, that doesn’t fit me morally. I hate where the money went, but I also have to acknowledge that I have helped even if it’s in a way I didn’t want to.” Jasper sighs, rubbing his head. "My brain is throbbing. Leo, can you get me some pain tablets?"

There’s a knock at the door of Jasper’s hotel. Leo nudges Jasper. “That’s for you.”

Jasper gives a suspicious squint, then slides off the bed and walks to the door. It’s the first time since they’d found out about the abandoned charity project, that he feels emotional again as he throws his arms around his visitor.

“I got here as fast as I could.” Ryan whispers, feeling the desperation through Jasper's arms.

“You're meant to be at home sorting out your career, not here dealing with my problems.” Jasper's body shakes as he tries to hold back tears.

“My career is first and foremost, making sure you're ok. Your problems are my problems. We’ll work something out,” Ryan promises. Jasper just holds him tighter. With Jasper contained, Leo moves behind him to show Ryan an article titled ‘Jasper Reid’s Corruption Tour’. Ryan stares at it in disbelief, mouthing ‘does he know?’ to Leo, who just nods, then gestures at the laptop on the bed, Mark and Daniel discussing what can be done about the slanderous and misinformed reports of this. Even if they produced evidence to contradict the headline, that headline was going to do damage. People would judge, feel cheated, spread the rumour way faster and further than any defense could be put forward.

Jasper steps back from Ryan and wipes the tears from his eyes before turning to Leo. “Thanks for getting him here.” Jasper gives Leo a quick hug, too. “Is it ok if Ryan joins the meeting?” Jasper asks, leading Ryan over and climbing on the bed.

“Of course, hi Ryan.” Mark greets him, then continues discussing their options for managing the situation. “What we need to do is get the attention off this.”

“That’s why I invited Ryan. I thought they can throw a charity performance together and go public about their relationship. Completely divert the attention and buy us a little more time to plan the next actions for this.” Leo suggests.

“Brilliant thinking Leo. What do you boys think?” Mark asks.

“Problem. People aren’t going to trust that the money is going to charity...”

“How about we find a lot of land here, buy it with the money earned from the concert and market it as, ‘buy a concert ticket and you’ll be one of the financial benefactors of the orphanage?'” Ryan suggests. Everyone goes silent for a minute as they take in his suggestion.

“Fans will feel involved in helping improve these kids' lives and the money would be between myself and the bank over here, so we’d be taking out the third party and just owning it ourselves. That could work. What do you think, Daniel?”

“I’ll have to look into any legal issues in owning the land when you don’t reside in the country and ensure there’s no ownership default to the government. Otherwise though, it’s not a bad plan.” Daniel replies.

“It’s pretty genius, actually.” Jasper smiles at Ryan.

“Thanks, I was thinking about it the entire flight. If they won’t build you an orphanage, fuck ‘em. We’ll build our own.” Ryan shrugs. Jasper quickly steals a kiss.

“Ok, are you happy with that Jasper?” Leo asks.

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Do you want to go look at locations that are selling at the moment, meet with any building companies? We’ve got the whole day.” Leo suggests.

“I was going to head back to the hospital and spend the day volunteering with the kids. What do you want to do Ry?”

“Definitely go with you.” Ryan replies.

“Leo, can you look up land for us? Somewhere near the hospital, so they aren’t far from medical help if possible.” Jasper delegates.

“Already looking.” Leo shows Jasper the real estate he’s looking at on his phone.

“Ok. I think we’re set for the day then. Thank you both so much for this impromptu meeting.” Jasper turns back to the laptop.

“To make it to the very last week of your tour before a crisis management meeting is an achievement. Enjoy the rest of the week and I’ll see you both when you get home,” Mark smiles.

“I’ll meet you at the airport when you return. There’s likely to be reporters waiting for you there and I don’t want you to be ambushed,” Daniel suggests.

“Thank you again. I really can’t say it enough,” Jasper sighs. “Bye.” He closes the zoom and turns to Ryan, slipping on top of him and kissing him passionately.

“And I’m out,” Leo comments loudly as he walks towards the door. Jasper and Ryan keep kissing until they hear the door close.

“God, I needed you. I can’t believe you’re here.” Jasper sighs, cuddling into Ryan. “It’s been such a stressful few days.” Jasper rubs his face, exhausted by the stress of the last few days, matched with once again falling victim to insomnia.

“I can’t even imagine. I’m sorry you were alone for this.”

“Leo's getting pretty used to looking out for me. If you have to go through something, go through it with someone that had practiced enough 'aftercare' to have all the comfort techniques up his sleeve.”

“I’m sorry it wasn’t me, though. I was devastated when he called to tell me what happened.”

“Someone had to take care of things back home. How’s Grace?” Jasper asks, needing to change the subject to something happier.

“You need to talk to Flynn some time.”

“Why, what’s he doing?”

“From what Grace has said, and what I saw while I was with them, not much. He’s struggling with the kids.”

“And you think I can help with that?”

“They are your nieces and nephews. Plus, he's just more likely to listen to you. You guys confide in each other emotionally. You might be able to convince him he needs therapy or to change his perspective. I don't know. He's just not being the parent or husband he promised he'd be.” Ryan shrugs.

“Flynn will not do therapy and he always shuts down around this time. We are overdue for a chat, though, so I'll talk to him when I get home. I guess I can at least help my kids.”

“Speaking of when we get home. I have put an offer on that house I was looking at and...”

“Wait, you bought a house?” Jasper asks, shocked.

"I put an offer down. It's just some security that if we don't find anything else, we have something lined up to move into. Anyway, it gave me the idea of buying and building over here."

“Well, I hope you do get this choreography job, because as it turns out, I’ve funded the health care of the politicians in this country for the last year.” Jasper sighs, rolling over and looking up at the ceiling. “I’m a lot more stressed and depressed about this than I’m letting on. I feel like I ruined everything for us.” Tears fill his eyes and he tries to calm himself down again.

“You didn’t ruin anything. You and your big heart that you like to pretend you don’t have, hasn’t ruined anything."

“I should have been getting all set up for our future.”

“Stop.” Ryan wipes the tears from Jasper’s cheeks. “We’re going to be fine. A little publicity stunt and we’ll have money coming in again.”

“I didn’t want to turn our relationship into a publicity stunt.”

“Fine, don’t use ours. Fake something with Leo.” Ryan suggests with a laugh.

“I’m not doing that. One day, our kid is going to google me, and I’m not having sex scandals pop up about me with my PA just before they are born. The last thing I need is for them to think I cheated on their dad. There's already enough real problems published about me that I get to dread them coming across one day."

“I can't wait to start calling 'our kid' by an actual name.” Ryan sighs thoughtfully. "We need to agree on a name. Baby is due really soon and we're so unprepared."

“I’ve been giving you plenty of suggestions.”

“I mean, serious names.”

“Screw you, I was being serious with some of those. You haven't suggested anything yet. It's your turn. What have you got in mind?”

“Something different.” Ryan shrugs.

“It's got to be a name that fits in with us and our names, though."

"Yes, but I've got a traditional sounding name and you've got a more interesting name so we can kinda pick anything and it'll work. I am just leaning more towards a name that stands out."

"Ry, the kid's got two gay parents in the performance industry. They are already going to stand out. I don't think it's going to matter what we name them as long as it's not ostentatious and they can put it on a resume and have people take them seriously. We're not going to be those celebrities that have a kid and name it, like, Lampshade or something."

"I don't know, Lampshade Sparklewings Reid-Kurtis has a nice ring to it." Ryan jokes.

"And, it's gender neutral." Jasper agrees, managing to keep a straight face until Ryan starts laughing, causing him to burst out, too.

"God, I love you." Ryan grabs Jasper by the waist and pulls him close, kissing him hard. Glad to have put a smile back on Jasper's stressed face.

“Are you guys done fucking?” Leo asks, knocking on the door. “We’ve got things to do.”

Jasper rolls his eyes and lowers his voice. "I cannot wait to live with you again at last, without anyone awkwardly standing on the other side of a door or wall, checking in on whether we're having sex."

"I was going to ask Leo to move in, actually. Get him a bed in our room so he can watch us sleep and constantly question or comment on our intimacy." Ryan whispers back.

"Don't even joke about that, I'm pretty sure watching or being watched is one of his kinks." Jasper laughs, getting up and going over to open the door. “Actually, Leo. Ryan has just informed me he has made an offer on a house back home. We might not have the money to look at land here right now.”

“Well then, you’ll have to schmooze twice as hard. There’s an event on tonight, the kind of advent that will only feature the upper class. I figure if you sweet talk them on your plans for this, you may be able to get some generous donations. Trick the people into paying you back.” Leo suggests with a grin, crossing his arms.

“Oh my god, Leo, that’s brilliant. Ryan, are you up for a social event?"

"In a foreign country where I don't know the language? Yes. Leo, do you have any valium?" Ryan asks jokingly.

"Speaking of, you still got that headache?" Leo asks Jasper, who had completely forgotten.

"I'm good now that Ry's here. It was just stress."

“In that case, let's see the kids and get some photos and videos, prepare statements. I’ll look into the people that will attend tonight and see who’s most likely to donate to this kind of thing so we don’t waste our time on the selfish ones.” Leo states, clapping his hands to applaud his own idea.

"What'd he say?" Jasper frown at the translator.

"That he'd not trust a gay man with children." This was a similar response to the last person Jasper had approached. He turns and walks over to Leo and Ryan who were standing back chatting.

"Ry, if you'd rather go, I don't mind. Apparently, all the money I've supplied this country hasn't cured it of homophobia yet. People aren't donating because of my sexuality." Jasper rolls his eyes.

"What if I go and chat to the ladies over there?" Ryan suggests.

"People would assume you're trying to sleep with them. Financially and politically, they have very little say over here." Leo shrugs.

"Oh, great. In that case, I need photos of Ryan talking to them, so when I get slandered for working in a misogynistic community, I can prove that we at least treated the women here with respect. Fuck, this place needs to get with the times." Jasper sighs and turns away. "That guy looks like he sleeps on a bed of cash." Jasper nods towards a someone that looked very formal and important.

“Don’t talk to him. His daughter died giving birth to his child when she was 12.” Leo steers Jasper away.

“What the fuck is wrong with this place? How is he even accepted by society?”

"He's a politician." Leo shrugs like that's a legitimate reason for the man to not be in prison. “Try that guy. Chairman of the hospital board, one of the leading doctors in this country, got his medical license in the UK, so you won’t need a translator for him. I’ll steal him while I go and talk to this group.” Leo gestures at the translator to follow him. Jasper turns and wanders over, drink in hand, to the man standing on his own over at the side of the room.

“Hi.” Jasper greets him and the man smiles.

“Hi. English?” He answers.

“Yes.”

“Ah, nice to actually be able to speak to someone without having to think too hard about it. Dr Jones.” The man extends his hand.

“Jasper Reid.” Jasper shakes it firmly.

“The singer? My daughters will kill me if I don’t get a photo with you. Would you mind?”

“Oh absolutely.” Jasper smiles as he stands beside the Dr for a photo. “How old are your girls?”

“17, 15, and 2. Admittedly, the youngest doesn't know you that well, but the bigger ones were huge fans a few years back. I believe the girls actually went to your concert in Britain a few months ago. They said it was fantastic.”

“I always welcome those reviews. So, you live here or are you just working here?” Jasper asks.

“Came over to work at the start of the pandemic, ended up stuck here due to travel restrictions and starting a new family. Quite a mistake, but you can imagine how the wife back home felt getting that phone call.” The man laughs.

“Oh, so the youngest is living here with you?”

“Yes.”

“How do you go working in the hospital here with all those sick children? It must be hard having a little one at home and seeing children in such poor health every day.”

“Quite. Though, to be frank, no one can live in a place like this, without switching off from certain aspects of it. At some point, you let yourself forget the things that are awful, because it’s easier that hating yourself for not being able to make a change. The medical system is not built to care for those that need it most. It’s to care for those running the economy. I can thank my fortunes and my status on the people in this room.”

“Sounds like a moral dilemma.”

“If there were other options, I’d definitely take it. Back in the day I specialized in pediatrics.”

“Would you ever consider working private?” Jasper asks quietly. “I’m looking at opening my own privately run orphanage. Given the state of the children’s health here, I imagine there would be a need to put on a full-time doctor in the facility to work purely for the children and staff. Someone passionate about helping improve the health outcomes of children.”

“When would that be coming into effect?”

“For now, we’re looking into donations to fund the project. Once we have the money to make it happen, it’s my priority. If I had things my way, it’d be underway already, but the money I’ve been donating has gone into what I’m starting to learn is a very flawed medical system.”

“Thank you for wanting to do what’s right. You’re fighting an uphill battle here though.” Dr Jones sighs.

“I just need support from the right people. Then maybe some of these children can grow up to make the differences that the leaders here tonight are too selfish to make.” Jasper whispers.

A few smooth conversations with the right people later, Jasper grabs himself a victorious glass of champage and takes a moment to just enjoy the feeling of hope that was coming back to him.

"How'd you go?" Leo asks with a smile.

"He pledged $20,000 and his services as an in-home doctor when the place is up and running. And sent a photo of me to his daughters, apparently massive fans." Jasper grins, then looks around to see Ryan still chatting with the ladies.

“I love kids, I would take all of them home if I could.” Ryan states to a group of awe-stricken women.

“I don’t know if Ryan’s done more than flirt, but between my offers and yours, I’m sure we’ll be going ahead with this in no time.” Leo steals back Jasper's attention as he raises his glass in front of his face.

“Leo, you know how you were talking about not wanting to settle down with one gender and never get to experience the other again?” Jasper sighs, turning away from Ryan.

“Yes?” Leo asks suspiciously.

“Is it dumb that I feel insecure that Ryan will regret not having physical relationships with women? Part of me even feels guilty that I’m standing between him and having that experience. What if he resents me for stopping him from exploring himself more. I know he’s demi, but if he fell in love with a woman, he might want to try. You know? Is it dumb to worry?” Jasper asks.

“He’s flirting with them, not courting them, Jasper. Relax.”

“My sister, Beth, Kelsey.” Jasper lists.

“Your sister is married, and so is Ryan. To you.”

“Yes, but she’s giving him a baby. That puts her pretty high on the list of people he loves right now.”

“And Beth?”

“Well, she’s his best friend. They’ve been looking at houses together. The more I think about it, the more he seems to want a wife to bare him children and live the white picket fence American dream with. Beth wants a big family. He already adores her as a person and they are compatible. What if there's more to it but he just doesn't have the heart to tell me?”

“Right. Who the hell is Kelsey?”

“His dance partner. They have the same passion and all this sexual chemistry...”

“You’re reaching pretty hard. Ryan wouldn’t have married you if he wasn’t willing to spend an eternity fucking the same man."

“Ok, but what if that willingness changes when he realises that forever is a long time?”

“Are we really doing this? Why do you look for faults or reasons it won’t work? You’re married and about to have a baby with the guy. Sounds to me like he’s already made the commitment, don’t question it for him. Plus, you dance with him and support him in that passion. He was looking for a house to move into with you and you’re about to build a place and fill it with kids over here. I’m pretty sure you’re ticking all the boxes all on your own. You’re stressing about the fact you're actually about to have a life that's real, not just this big, constant act of being in the spotlight. Marriage, a house, a baby. You're panicking and he hasn’t ruined it yet, so you want to be impulsive and self-destructive so you don't have to go through with finding out if you can actually handle being a regular person?”

“I need to spend less time with you. You’re sounding like my inner dialogue.” Jasper states. “Get Ryan. I want to go home.”

“Done with this party?”

"Done with this tour." Jasper shrugs and hands Leo his untouched drink. "Book us a flight home and tell Mark to release the first show recording to the media. I’m over all of this. It’s starting to destroy my brain, one mind numbing insecurity after another. It's time for reality. I want to go home and see where I’m going to be raising a baby with my husband in a few very short weeks."