A Slice of Life - 8. Chapter 8 - Is it Better to Have Loved?

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“You were supposed to have broken things off,” Jessica yelled as she looked down at Cheryl, who was covering herself looking back and forth between the two of them with a look of confusion on her face.

“What’s going on Kyle? What is she talking about?” Cheryl asked as she gathered her clothes and proceeded to get dressed.

Kyle refused to look either of them in the face as he sat against the wall holding the side of his face where Xavier had punched him. “He wasn’t supposed to find out, not like this. It was never my intention to hurt him, but Cheryl just made me feel good. I care about Xavier...”

“Hold on, are you telling me you’ve been dating Xavier this entire time?” Cheryl stood above him with disgust on her face. “I don’t give a rat's ass if you are gay, bi, or whatever, but I wouldn’t do that to someone. He must think the worst of me. If I had known, I would never have done anything with you; I am such an idiot”

“Xavier didn’t tell anyone for my benefit,” Kyle said as he looked around the room, only to be reminded of Xavier everywhere he looked. Of course, that would be the case, this was his room after all.

“You are no better in this,” Cheryl fumed as she turned on her cousin causing Jessica to shrink back wishing she was anywhere but here. “You could have told me he was involved with someone, you didn’t have to say who, but damn a heads up or something would have been nice. That boy must think that I am the biggest slut for stealing his man.” She shook her head and turned her attention back to Kyle. “Listen champ, it sounds like you have some issues to work out for yourself, and right now I can’t stand the sight of either of you.” Cheryl gathered the last of her things and made her way out.

The party had become eerily quiet as the event had drawn more than a few peering eyes as Jessica and Kyle made their way down to let everyone know the party was over for the night. The least they could do was clear everyone out and pick up the place before Xavier came back.

“This wasn’t the way I envisioned coming out in school, but I guess there is no stopping the rumor mill now,” Kyle sighed as they got the house back in order.

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“I’ll tell him myself” Jasper whispered having heard all he could stand from the two of them. Thinking about it, he knew at this point that he had blown his shot with Xavier; once he revealed what was going on, there was no coming back from this. “It’s clear you two probably won’t say anything. This probably doesn’t need to be said, but Kyle we are going to call whatever it was we were doing quits too.”

Kyle and Jessica looked at one another as Jasper left. “Back then, I should have just talked with Xavier and told him how I felt and what I needed. I just never understood why he seemed so hot and cold sometimes.” Kyle absentmindedly stirred his drink.

The guilt was eating away at her, but it was far too late to address it at this point. She knew why Xavier was hesitant to give himself to Kyle, her words of wisdom weren’t so wise in the end as she just wanted to make sure she was number one on her friend's priority list.

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“What are you doing here? Did we have a date planned that I forgot about?” Xavier asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before smiling at Jasper.

Jasper hesitated, for a moment considering not telling him and just letting things continue to play out with Xavier. He sighed and shook his head, no that would make him no better than what Kyle did to him, and Xavier didn’t deserve that again.

“Look there is something I need to tell you.” Xavier’s face fell as he looked up at Jasper.

“Kyle got to you already, didn’t he?” Xavier responded coldly without looking back up at Jasper.

“I am not going to try and make any excuses, but I have been physical with Kyle” Jasper whispered as he looked away from Xavier.

“Why, why is it always sex that ends up losing me the guy?” Xavier yelled in frustration. “It’s just like Jessica said, I should just keep guys on ice because sooner or later you will find out that they were just in it for the sex,” Xavier yelled as he slammed the door in Jasper’s face, leaving the boy stunned and confused.

“Xavier, I know you can hear me. What do you mean ice a guy out? What does that even mean?” Jasper begged through the door.

“It’s just like she said, just hold off on giving them anything more, and you will see that it was all just a game to them. Eventually, you will show your true self and end up in bed with someone else; you are both the same, and she was right just like before.”

Jasper was stunned, sure Kyle made his own decisions at the end of the day, but what the hell had Jessica been feeding into his mind and for what purpose.

The next few months were like cold days in hell. Xavier refused to speak to anyone and eventually stopped showing up to school altogether.

“Hey Jess, have you heard from Xavier at all?” Kyle asked as he sat down with Jasper for lunch. “His parents won’t tell me anything at all, just that he is fine, and they are sure that he will reach out to me when he is ready. I don’t even know what that means.”

“They weren’t telling me anything more either, but when I asked about bringing his classwork over to him, I was told there was no need as he was finishing out his remaining credits through remote learning.”

Jasper said nothing as he sat between the two. Who could blame Xavier for withdrawing away from them as they all had cut him deep.

“I wanted to tell him that I got a full scholarship to my school of choice, but he never responded to any of my calls or messages.” Kyle sighed as he stared at his plate completely uninterested in the food.

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Xavier gave himself a once-over in the mirror one last time. He was happy with himself much happier than he had been in months. Gone were the days when he used his hair to hide his face, these days, he wore it pulled back, and in a ponytail - a look that only someone with his androgyny could pull off. His glasses were replaced with contacts, and his time spent running and swimming had toned him up with a firm and plump rear if he did say so himself. He smiled in the mirror as his mom came around the corner.

“Well, look at my handsome man,” his mother cooed as she fixed his gown. “I can’t believe my little boy is ready to graduate and be off to college, you’ve made your father and I very proud.” She smiled at him. “Now let's be on our way before we are late.”

It was time for a new chapter to begin in a new place, to make his way and dreams come true.