Incandescence - 17. People are Friends Not Food

The room was still dark even with the light I’d provided. I stepped forward, my eyes locking on the prone form in the middle of the room. His hair was splayed around his head in a white halo and it hit me again. Wren had been so impossibly young when he’d been turned into the monster everyone was familiar with. Yes, he was a people eating terror, but there was a side to Wren that most people would probably never see. He could be sweet and paternal. As much as he’d tried to act as though his Verseckt were disposable, it was clear to see that it was a front. He’d kissed Amaris’ head when she’d left the group. He had actually said farewell in her peoples’ tradition. I hadn’t known that until much later. He’d held her, he'd pushed Talon to be better, and he’d done the same for me. There were also the rare occurrences when he showed how much he cared for my brother.

I came to stand next to the slab he’d been laid on. Wren had been cleaned up and dressed in his Verseckt leathers. The was a rickety-looking wooden chair in the corner and I frowned. I hoped to the Gods that my brother hadn’t been sitting down here, wallowing in his grief. Hanja had preserved the small assassin for as long as he could while we looked for a solution, but even he wasn’t sure how long it’d last. He looked so pale and wrong. I hated it.

Resting my hands on the stone, I leaned closer, “The one person with the worst reputation, the person who was seen as a monster. If only they knew how selfless you are. Were.”

I took his hand gently in mine, brushing the pad of my thumb over one of his claws, “You saved Loren’s life. I think…I think you may have saved Eon’s too. In more ways than one.”

I sighed, running my fingers through my tangled hair. Wren would hate my little speech if he was here. He’d scoff at me and tell me that he hated how emotional humans were. I smiled. He’d look to Eon or Talon for some explanation as to why I acted the way I did. When he didn’t get one, he’d stalk off to mutter somewhere about how weak we were. I cleared my throat as my emotion rose.

“Why did it have to be you? Why did it have to be anyone? Why are our lives this way?” I let out a soft curse as I felt tears slip down my cheeks. I’d been devastated when I’d been unable to help, but I don’t know if I’d had enough time to grieve.

I’d gone back to sleep so quickly. It was hard to tell if I had processed the loss or just put it on the back burner while I fought for consciousness. I leaned forward farther, resting my forehead on his chest. I wished we could go back to the night on the fallen tree trunk. When we spoke for the first time and Wren’s claws carded through my hair with a gentleness that was supposed to be beyond him. I’d felt at ease enough to fall asleep with my head in his lap and he’d watched over me.

More tears escaped and I scoffed, “Gods. If you could see me now, you’d be mortified.”

I wiped at my cheeks and rose, resting my palms on his chest. I took in a slow breath, holding it and forcing my heart rate to slow. My eyes slipped closed as I felt the ebb and flow of Magik around me. Its caress was like that of an old lover. Familiar and comforting. Through my eyelids, the light growing in the room let me know I’d engaged my power. I focused and curled my fingers loosely in the fabric of Wren’s vest. I called more and more power, starting to pant softly as the sheer amount began to strain my body. I gasped and felt something warm run from my nose over my lips. It began dripping off my chin and I grimaced at the metallic smell. I started to become lightheaded and my grip on Wren’s clothing tightened. I pulled more power to me and grit my teeth to hold back a scream.

I vaguely registered a presence behind me as I started to lose consciousness. I staggered and my hands slipped from Wren. I inwardly cringed at the thought of hitting my head against the hard stone floor. It never happened. Strong arms wrapped around my body and I was hoisted up.

“Eyes open Kalian. Stay awake and finish what you started.” Talon’s deep voice murmured next to my ear. I leaned back against Talon who supported much of my weight. Deep breaths helped me calm down enough to pull power again.

Black Magik snaked over the slab and joined my own, “Remember when you were learning? Focus love. You can do it.”

Talon’s hands slid down my arms and his Magik twisted with mine the way it had when we’d fought the Soul Eater in its dream world. Gasping, I turned my face to rest in Talon’s neck. I poured everything I had into that moment, and I could feel the insane amount of power Talon was producing as well. The room was an odd mix of white light and shadow. I was beyond struggling to stand on my feet. Talon was supporting me entirely now.

Until he wasn’t. My hands dropped limply to my sides and the world around me shifted and spun. When I came to, I was sitting between Talon’s legs on the ground. My back was to his chest and my head dropped back on his shoulder. I could feel his heavy panting against my neck and his arms were draped loosely around me. My head felt heavy and I winced. I’d been overconfident. Maybe I hadn’t had some life-changing breakthrough when I’d been sleeping. I could be no closer to reviving Wren than I had been the last time I tried. Worse was the fact that now I’d dragged Talon into it. Where would we stand if our country’s heaviest hitters were out of commission for an extended period of time? With the amount of power we’d just expended, it could be weeks. We didn’t have weeks. What would we do about Wyn? He wouldn’t be alone, but he wouldn’t have us.

“Breathe. Your breathing keeps getting shallower. That’s the opposite of what we want.” Talon gasped as he struggled as well.

“D-did we do it?” I asked, ignoring his words as I tried to get myself to my feet.

“I don’t know love. I don’t think so.” Talon pulled me back down, holding me to him.

I was waiting for the inevitable wave of exhaustion that came when I used so much Magik, but I felt normal. Behind me, Talon’s breath was evening out. I didn’t understand. We should be completely wiped. How were we calming down and still conscious? Come to think of it, if we were going to pass out in the crypt my brother was using to house the body of the love of his life, maybe we should’ve told him. What would he think if he found Talon and I in a heap on the ground, asleep? I had a feeling that he wouldn’t like it very much.

“You need help getting up, love?” Talon asked.

I leaned forward, resting my palms on the ground. From all fours, I slowly climbed to my feet. When I was vertical again, I turned. Talon was standing, frowning down at the body that lay unmoving on the raised concrete. I stepped forward and my heart fell. We’d failed. My power had been unsuccessful. Even with Talon’s supplementing it. There was no way to measure how much Magik we’d just expended. Maybe the most in history, but a lot of good it had done us. I dragged my fingers through my hair and moved forward to rest my head on Talon’s shoulder. An arm looped around my waist and I raised my head as I took in Wren.

Something had happened. I didn’t understand what. Wren’s normally straight hair was dirty blond now with curls and his skin wasn’t as deathly pale as it had been. With no other signs of life, it didn’t fill me with much joy. Shaking my head, I tried to stave off my devastation. With or without Wren, there was much to be done. Our country had been plunged back into chaos and there was no time to grieve again.

“I need to finish preparing for the trip.” I sighed. It was weighed down heavily by my sadness and disappointment. I ignored Talon’s concerned look.

“There isn’t much left to do. You should be able to leave first thing in the morning I would think.” Talon moved closer and his fingers combed through my hair before he pulled me to him.

I pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I’ll see you at home then.”

*Talon*

Kalian was throwing himself a little pity party. He wasn’t as whiney as he used to be, but it was still obvious. When he’d jumped, the determination had been clear on his face. I’d felt the surge in power. Everyone with power would have. It pulled at the shared reserve around every Magik user in the near vicinity. It made a chill run down my spine. After everything he’d been through, I still wasn’t entirely sure that my husband understood how powerful he was.

I’d felt his Magik surge. It’d built and built to an almost dizzying amount. Then I’d felt his inner struggle, his desperation. The pieces had slotted together mostly on their own. There were few things presently that would drive Kalian to such extreme emotion. Through process of elimination, it had to be Wren. Which is why, seconds later, I found myself standing behind Kalian. I stopped in my tracks. The sheer power surging around my husband made me nauseous. I had faulted Kalian for not understanding the extent of his power, but now I was starting to realize I had sold him short as well.

Kalian was-at his base level-kind and compassionate. That was good. Should something ever happen that drove him away from his natural personality, we’d all be in trouble. Much like the trouble Sumerian had found himself in. I slid my hand over Wren’s leathers where they’d been bunched from Kalian’s death grip. It brought me a bit closer to him and I once again froze.

“Kalian.”

“What Talon? I have to go.” Kalian said, tone annoyed.

“Come here.” I said, leaning farther forward to confirm.

“Talon I don’t have ti-“

“Oh my gods you little brat, just come here for fuck’s sake! He’s breathing!” I felt a spike of irritation at my outburst, but I didn’t have enough brain power to really focus on anything other than the shallow, raspy breaths lifting the small chest in front of me.

“Wren?” Kalian was next to me in an instant.

I reached out and as my fingertips touched to a cheek, teeth bit into the fleshy heel of my hand. It didn’t feel great, but I’d been bitten by Wren plenty of times and this one lacked something. I pulled my hand up and the jaw connected to the teeth gnashing at my skin was brought with. Wren’s upper body was now vertical and his eyes were narrowed on my face. Looking closer, a growl reached my ears. I ignored it as I stared. This wasn’t right. What had happened?”

“Wren, your fangs are gone.”

“His eyes are different too.” Kalian whispered.

I glanced up and saw that he spoke the truth. Wren’s eyes were almost burgundy now. There were flecks of his old rose pink in the iris alongside flecks of red so dark it was almost black. They looked like long dried blood. I wrenched my hand free and looked down at my skin. His teeth hadn’t even broken through. Wren, Wren hadn’t drawn blood. How…troubling.

“Keep your hands out of my face kid.” Wren growled. I couldn’t find it in me to be intimidated. Even his growl had lost some of its edge without his fangs to back it up.

“How do you feel? You look so different! We should take you to Hanja!” Kalian rambled. He pulled Wren’s face close to his.

Blame it on habit, or maybe trauma would be more appropriate, but his face so near to Wren’s made me anxious. Wren squirmed away and swung his legs over the side of the slab. His lip curled in distaste, “Where am I?”

“You…Wren you died. You’re under the manor.” Kalian explained, eyes sporting a sheen of moisture. Wren would surely lose his mind if my husband cried on top of everything else.

“The fuck is going on down here?” A voice boomed. I’d been so caught up in, well, a gods damned resurrection, that I hadn’t noticed Eon’s giant form lumber down the stairs. (In all honesty, my brother-in-law was strangely light on his feet. He didn’t lumber.)

He stood roughly ten feet away. He was shirtless and my normal instinct had me taking in the various scars that marred his lightly tanned skin, sizing him up. Eon wasn’t my type, but I could understand why someone would be drawn to him. He looked past us and I clocked the exact moment when he saw Wren. His jaw went slack and his unnervingly light eyes looked as though they might pop out of his skull. Come to think of it, that may be entertaining to watch.

“Someone better start explaining before I suffer a mental break.” Eon spat, hands dangling limply at his sides.

“Oh, well, we brought him back!” Kalian chirped, grinning from Wren to Eon.

“Stop looking at me like that, you flaming idiot.” Wren snapped at his partner as he tried to shove himself off his stone bed to stand.

His legs gave out right away and Eon was across the room in a flash. He caught Wren even before Kalian and I could react. I wasn’t surprised. I was tuned into every finite movement that Kalian made. It was how I noticed when he was struggling before others did. Eon was probably the same. They had been partners for almost as long as Kalian and I had. Eon hoisted Wren back up, sitting him back on the stone. He still looked shocked and his mouth opened and closed as if the man had lost his grip on the language.

“You’re all looking at me as if I have three heads. Kalian’s come back from the dead before. He’s also brought an entire room full of people back from the other side. Why is this a shock to you all?” Wren sneered. He was trying to shove Eon’s hands away, but he was too weak.

“Wren, I tried to bring you back. I couldn’t. This time I did, but only after Talon helped me.” Kalian explained.

“You look different.” The normally eloquent general blurted out.

“Yeah, and you look stupid. Like a fish gasping for air. I doubt I look that different.” Wren crossed his arm and he snarled. Eon’s eyes dropped to his mouth and the man staggered backwards.

“Wren, you’re blond. Your fangs are gone too and you aren’t as pale as you used to be.” Kalian said.

“You said I came back to life. Obviously, I have more color.” Wren snapped, but his hand was creeping towards his hair. He pulled a strand into view and stared for a long moment, “How disturbing.”

*Kalian*

“He is healthy. Perhaps a little malnourished and dehydrated from…his nap, but nonetheless, healthy.” Hanja said, frowning.

“I do not get dehydrated, teacher.” Wren sniffed indignantly.

“While it’s true that monster Wren has no need for water, for human Wren it’s essential.” Hanja said as he shook his head.

“What did you call me, fool?” Wren growled, “I cannot believe you’d have the audacity, no, the unsullied gall to insult me in such a way.”

“Whether it upsets you or not, it’s true Wren. Your body is completely different from what it was before.” Hanja shrugged.

“Were you blond with eyes that shade when you were a human child?” Tyren asked from Hanja’s side,

Wren’s brow furrowed and a frown appeared on his lips, “I have barely any remaining memories from when I was…different. I couldn’t tell you.”

“Do you still have Magik?” Eon asked, seated on one of the desks a few feet away.

Wren’s nose scrunched and he stared at Eon. He moved his fingers in a circle and then clenched them into a tight fist. Eon fell to his knees, gasping loudly. I went on the offensive before I could think about the ramifications. I gripped Wren’s wrist and twisted it sharply behind his back. He and Eon gasped simultaneously. I heard a pop and Eon’s coughing. Wren let out a pained noise and I let go as fast as I had attacked. Hanja had moved to my brother’s side. I glanced over and my blood boiled as I looked. Eon was shaking a little, spit hanging from his mouth to the ground below as he sucked air frantically into his lungs.

“You dislocated his shoulder, Kalian.” Tyren said. His voice was soft and full of awe.

I faced Wren again. He was holding his arm to his side and staring down at it as if he’d never seen it before. I’d become stronger over the years, but I had never been able to overpower Wren. No one but Talon had. I looked back and forth between my hands and his arm. How? Was it true that Wren was human now? It was the only reasonable explanation. There would never have been a time before where I got the jump on him. He would’ve cast me aside like a ragdoll. He had before, in fact.

“Eon?” A small voice came from the doorway and Lyme stepped quickly into the classroom.

His eyes were on the general who was still on the ground on all fours, panting and wiping his mouth. Lyme rushed forward and right before his hands made contact with the man, a low growl tore through the room. Lyme stopped and turned fearful eyes in Wren’s direction. I looked to Talon and raised an eyebrow. Wren’s growls and snarls were lacking in punch. I remember when they used to freeze my blood in my veins.

With or without his former status, Wren is dangerous.

Talon held my gaze. He was on guard and his eyes drifted from Wren to where Lyme was crouched by my brother. I took in the two on the ground. I wasn’t sure that Eon was back with us. Either way, Lyme was very close. It’d been one sided for a long time. I wasn’t blind. Lyme had practically admitted it himself on more than one occasion and it was hard to miss the way his eyes followed Eon around rooms.

“Do not touch him weakling.” Wren said, tone low and threatening.

He stood and Lyme flinched but surprised us when he moved himself in front of Eon, “Y-you hurt him all the time! You did some serious damage by the looks of it! What if the healer wasn’t present? Yo-you’re supposed to love him but you’re a sadistic monster! You should’ve stayed dead!”

Wren slid closer, eyes looking like rippling pools of blood, “You should’ve stayed in your place. Or are you not aware of it? What do you have to offer whelp? You’re a small, timid, weak civilian.”

“Both of you stop. Give Eon some room.” I stepped in between the men, raising my hands. My mind took a very confused moment to think about how Wren really was a man now. Not some high-powered supernatural being.

Hanja managed to tug and yank Eon into a sitting position. He was grimacing, a hand resting on his chest. His eyes were glazed over as he let his head fall back. Hanja was going about his usual mumbling, hands hovering over the man. I stiffened when I caught a few of his words. Cardiac arrest. Prior signs of trauma to the heart. I was thrown back to the Dlethian safehouse when my brother had told me I had no right to worry. While I had agreed at first, Talon had never purposefully used his Magik to assault me.

Lyme was crouched nearby. At least he’d been smart enough to keep his hands to himself this time. Wren slid back onto the desk, his eyes narrowed on the slight scholar, “He is fine. I know when to stop.”

“That doesn’t matter. You can’t mess with his vascular system and expect there to be no consequences. You almost drove him to a serious heart issue.” Hanja snapped, “You could’ve killed him. I know you two have a strange, sadistic drive to your sex life but this should never be a part of that.”

Eon was starting to come around more as Hanja’s hands glowed red. The healer’s attention whirled on him, “How many times has Wren done something like that to you?”

“I don’t know.” Eon said weakly. I stared at him. He was lying.

“No more. In any context. You can’t be playing around with your inner workings like that. I don’t care if you two get off on it. Find another way to enjoy each other.” Hanja scolded.

Lyme’s face fell as Eon’s eyes found Wren right away. The memorization Magik user put some distance between them and slowly stood, “I have things to attend to.”

He scurried away without pause and I sighed. I’m sure he’d never celebrate a death, but I was positive he’d seen Wren’s death as an opportunity. I couldn’t blame him. He was head over heels for the general and his love interest was suddenly single. Grieving and single. Lyme wasn’t an opportunist, but he was enamored and he was a good man. He had probably wanted to take care of Eon and be there for him in his grief.

“So, at least dying didn’t take away your cruel edge.” Eon huffed as Hanja helped him to his feet.

“Dying took very little from me. Your brother and Talon are the one’s who made me whatever I am.” Wren said. His voice was less harsh now. Remorseful maybe? Did Wren feel remorse? Wait, did Wren feel now?

“Kalian has to get ready to leave tomorrow. We should go. He needs rest.” Talon said, linking our fingers.

“Go. No one asked you to stay.” Wren shrugged. I watched him grit his teeth and Hanja made an annoyed noise as the small man forced his own arm back into place. It made a disgusting noise.

I was thankful for Talon. I was exhausted. Not the usual way I was when I used so much Magik. I was the normal tired. It’d been a long day and I was ready for it to be over. I knew we needed to figure out why this time was so different. Why I wasn’t so wrung out. It’d have to wait. There were other more pressing issues at hand. Tomorrow, I would leave to attempt a rescue mission. I had no way of knowing if Anika was okay or even still alive.

I knew I should be terrified of losing her, but after all this time, the scars ran deep. My heart had committed her various offenses and cruel words to heart. We’d learned more of what had happened to her in the cell where Eon found her. The torn dress and injuries had confirmed it farther. I had my suspicions, but it didn’t make it easier when I found out I was right to think what I had. Her silence for the days afterward made sense. I couldn’t blame her for shrinking in on herself. Mallex had tried to subject me to some of the same treatments. I ached for her. For that part of her that I could empathize with.

Still, she’d tormented me. It had gone far beyond the normal sibling bullying. Eon had done wrong as well, but he’d never gone after me the way Anika had. Eon’s crime had been indifference. Anika’s was unabashed cruelty in a mission to get what she felt she was entitled to. I knew she was different now. It didn’t matter. When I looked at my sister, I couldn’t convince my heart that she wasn’t the same woman I’d grown up with. I cared for her and her me in our strange way, but we’d never have a loving relationship. I was ashamed of the intense relief that’d washed over me when we’d finished her small villa and she’d stopped living with us. I wasn’t sure if that made me a horrible person, but it was the way things were.

Now I was headed home. To the place that’d built the rocky foundation that I’d struggled to build upon. Gods knew how Talon and my chosen family had fought to seal cracks and patch up holes to “fix” me over the years. I had done a lot of work myself. Krinn wasn’t this ominous destination like it had been for me when I was younger. It was just the place I had happened to grow up. My estranged family was there, scattered among the shadowed memories I’d left behind in favor of finding my happiness.

Headed home now to aid a place that’d once made up a large part of me felt a bit strange. Helping my parents fight and rescuing Anika made it all the stranger. I smiled ruefully as I thought about the situation. It really was odd. In any other circumstances, my father would rather die than accept my help. There was still a chance he may try to reject it. Not that he had a choice. His forces were being overwhelmed and it was my duty to ensure we kept control of Krinn and one of our most crucial ports. He was being overruled. I was pulling rank. He would either accept my help graciously, or I would force it upon him.

The walk home was silent for the most part. I was deep in thought and I assumed the same for Talon. We had a lot to think over. We’d be separated tomorrow. Sure, Talon and I had spent time apart, but this situation felt different. We’d had to fight separate battles, but it was rarely by choice. I didn’t like leaving him and Wyn behind. I knew they’d be fine, Talon would make sure of it, but the unease wasn’t kept at bay without difficulty. A returned Wren meant another ally, but I was unsure he would provide as much protection as he had before. I had no doubt Wren would still be able to fight and his Magik was strong, but he now lacked a certain…violent edge that I hadn’t known I was so dependent on.

I needed to get to Krinn, fight back the attacking naval force, find Anika, and make it back in time so that Talon could help Eon in Serran. No big deal. The stakes weren’t deadly high or anything. I was waiting for my panic, the fear that’d come with every other battle that’d crested the horizon for me. So far, there was no sign of it. Fear would keep me performing the way I needed to. If I couldn’t execute my tasks, I would be kept from home longer. That wasn’t an option. So panic wasn’t one either. Something had awakened with me when I’d opened my eyes this last time. I’d had to fight to regain consciousness and it'd steeled me for everything to come. The being responsible for my power had told me that I was the only obstacle standing in my way and that hadn’t been the first time I’d had someone(or something) say that.

We’d made it all the way through getting ready for bed by the time one of us spoke, “You seem confident.”

I tucked Eira gently into the bed Lydia had prepared for her. The rooms had been shifted around so that the children were right next to each other. Talon wasn’t stupid. He knew that I was wiggling the child into our life, but he kept quiet. With or without a bet, Talon had a terrible habit of bending to my will. It was a trait of his I tried not to manipulate too much, but it was nice having an all-powerful man acquiesce to your every request. The little girl was already asleep, as was Wyn next door.

We made our way from the room and I sighed, “I don’t know if I’m confident, but I’m not a mess like I used to be.”

“That’s not a bad thing. You house an incredible power love. The self-doubt at this point was getting a touch ridiculous. You shouldn’t be nervous about your ability when you can blast a country off the damn map.” Talon chuckled, folding down the blankets on his side of the bed.

“I wasn’t raised feeling very confident Talon. Forgive me if I still have tremors of the memories.” I rolled my eyes as I pulled the blankets to my chin.

Talon raised an eyebrow as he lay on his side next to me, “I have enough scars lining my shoulders that they’re the first thing people notice. You want to compare memories?”

“It’s not a competition. You yourself have said that.”

“It isn’t, correct. I’m just trying to say that no matter your past, you can grow and overcome it. For a long time there, it didn’t seem like you wanted to.” Talon shrugged then rolled on his back and wiggled his fingers at me, “Come here. Let’s not get into an argument the night before you leave.”

“You started it.” I mumbled as I scooted over to him, “And your scars aren’t the first thing people notice. Believe me.”

“You know, when I started, I meant to compliment you.” Talon laughed, “You’ve become so much stronger.”

“You’re still the same amount of annoying.” I smiled up at him and was rewarded with a slow kiss. Talon’s hands cupped my face and kept it going for several minutes. He kissed the very air from my lungs and I had to break apart from him to breathe. His thumbs rubbed over my cheekbones gently as we considered each other. We couldn’t possibly lay any closer. We were pressed flush against each other and it made me regret agreeing to leave. I wouldn’t back out. I had to do this. I wasn’t going to deny the fact that I would miss him, though. I’d miss Wyn and even little Eira too. It was the worst part of this. The leaving. I had no idea how long we’d be apart. The cynical, terrible part of my mind also liked to remind me that something could go wrong. Maybe this was the last time I’d ever see any of them. Nothing in war was guaranteed. It didn’t even have to be war. Something unexpected could happen and one of us could fall tomorrow without a dramatic reason like battle.

“Are you going to miss me?” Talon cooed teasingly.

“Not at all.” I stuck my tongue out and tried to escape the hands reaching for my sides.

I wasn’t fast enough and I found myself pinned under my husband while he ruthlessly tickled me. There were downsides to having your partner know every single one of your weak spots. The tickling tapered off as I squirmed onto my stomach. Talon flopped down on top of me and his arms wrapped around me. One looped around my waist and the other around my neck. I rested my chin on his forearm and sighed, memorizing how every inch of his skin felt against mine.

“Yes, I’m going to miss you.” I said reluctantly. Talon was going to run with the admission. He’d never let me live it down.

“I will miss you too. I wish I could go with, but I know you’ll be okay.” He mumbled in my ear and lips pressed softly to the skin behind it.

“Everyone here will be too. You’ll make sure of it.” I nodded, closing my eyes.

“What will you do if you find Anika and they’ve harmed her or worse?”

“Illiath will get their navy back in pieces. Boats and soldiers.”