No going back - 8. Getting to know you 2

I'd been feeling a bit grumpy all week. I had wondered about taking Mhairi or Joe to the Netherwich Male Chorale concert on Friday. I was curious; partly because I had this idea to join a choir myself, but also because of Colin’s connection. I wondered whether their type of music might be my thing. There was only one way to find out, but now the idea of sitting at the back with Colin in front row of the choir, belting out the tenor line or whatever, just seemed a little too weird.

There was nothing for it, I was going to have to speak to him. On Monday, I would ask him to stay behind with the excuse that I wanted to discuss the contract and next steps. That was nice and innocuous but would give us a chance to talk after motormouth left.

On Saturday, I was trying to decide what to do about my evening meal - get a take-away, something out of the freezer, or attempt to cook one of the so-called easy recipes that I'd downloaded from the BBC Food website. None of it really sparked an interest.

The doorbell rang. Mhairi usually phoned or texted me and arranged to meet in town. Perhaps it was Joe and that girlfriend of his, what was her name? I opened the door and there was Colin, neat as a bandbox, hair gelled, smart polo shirt, the lot and a bunch of freesias. Nice ones, hand wrapped, not a grab-and-go from the supermarket.

"I didn't want to bother you, but I wanted to apologise. I've been a complete tit. The guys' comments about gay men panicked me, simply made me stupid. I've brought these to say thank you and sorry" and he held the bunch out. I took them and invited him in, he looked surprised. "If you're sure?"

"Hey, you can't bring me these and then just piss off. You have to have a drink, at least."

Now, the house wasn't that big, just a main room downstairs with a kitchen, but it did me pro tem. The decor was standard inoffensive landlord, and I'd not really personalised it. I had been going to say something to break the ice with Colin, but he started apologising again.

"Now look, don't apologise. Every guy deals with being gay in a different way. Me, I've been out since I was 18, when my parents kicked me out when they found out. But not everyone's like that, and I accept that having that Jimmie bloke around thinking he's being funny by making cracks about me being a shirt-lifter", I shook my head.

Colin gave a shy grin, "He's a pain, but his work is good."

"So I'd noticed. Look, rather than just standing here, what do you fancy to drink? I don't have beer, but there's 20 different varieties of red wine", I grinned. "Guess what my preferred tipple is!"

"Red wine's fine. Your parents kicked you out. For real?"

"Yes. We were members of a local church, the Brethren."

"Yeah, heard of them. Pretty hard-core stuff."

"And how. Mum and Dad found out I was gay when I was in my last year of school and said I had to leave, last day of exams."

And there we were, swapping family stories. He'd come to Netherwich to train but admitted that it got him away from his family, except it didn't. Both his Mother and married elder brother seemed to expect Colin to be the one that constantly drove up to Leighton to look out for her. I gathered that Mummy Dearest had Colin firmly in the palm of her hand, any slacking and the moral blackmail came out. I couldn't resist and quoted to him about the only poetry I remembered.

"They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad, they don't mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you."

Colin stared at me, "What was that?"

I grinned, "Sorry, one of the few bits of poetry that I can remember. 'This be the verse' by Philip Larkin."

"I think I've heard of him, but never come across that."

"Don't ask me to remember the rest, but that verse stuck in my mind."

Colin rolled his eyes, "You and me both, I think."

I rolled my eyes back at him. We were sitting in adjacent chairs, but given the smallness of the room, he was easily within reach. I decided I had to go slow on this. I'm a natural jumper in, but I thought he might shy away again, after all he'd intended to give me the flowers and scarper. But there was something about Colin that attracted me. So I reached out and touched his hand, he didn't shy, so I grasped it a bit more.

"You want a top up?"

"Mmm? I shouldn't, I'm in the van. Be a bit risky I'm afraid."

"You can always stay. I'd not fixed what dinner was going to be, so you help me decide."

"Stay? You mean?"

I kept hold of his hand, "Well, I won't lie, it'd be nice if you were to share my bed, but there is a spare room. Small, but perfectly formed, so the choice is yours. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but I thought we had fun last week, and it'd be nice to continue that", I gave what I hoped was a cheeky grin, "besides, I like the idea of waking up next to you."

"It's just, I've never done that before."

"You mean?"

"Spend the night. I was always too windy to do it, too worried and somehow", he shrugged.

"Well, there's always a first. A drink, a meal, a cuddle or more", another cheeky smile, I hoped, "we can take it as things come, and we're nice and private here. Not overlooked, so all you are doing is having a meal and sleeping over at a client's. OK. How about that?"

I continued stroking his hand. He didn't say anything but didn't pull away so keeping hold of his hand, I slipped out of the chair and over to him, leaned down and kissed him. With my other hand I stroked his belly and then slipped down, he was rock hard.

He pulled away and gave a shy grin. "Well, OK? But what about next week?"

"Next week? Are you planning on staying the week?" I grinned at that.

"No! But when we meet next week. Sort of is this a one-off?" He stared at me, surprisingly anxious.

"Oh, I see. I'd rather not. A one-off. As I said, I've had fun the last few days and wanted to take things a bit further, going for a drink, doing stuff apart from re-building a house and fucking that arse of yours. Not that that isn't fun", another grin.

"But I was a tit", I started to say something, but he stopped me, "No. I was. And I'd been thinking that it'd be fun to ask you to the chorale's concert last night", he shrugged.

"No worries, there'll be another. And next week. We can easily be discreet if you want. It wouldn't take much for you to stay late a couple of times, to update me on progress", I smiled, "with the house and with your bum. And we could meet up for that drink next Friday and take the weekend from there? So, certainly not a one-nighter. I think I've got a bit too old for those."

He gave me a rather shy look, "I think it would be nice to wake up next to you, so yes. Thank you. I'll have to be up promptly, so I can drive up to Mum's tomorrow."

"Not a problem. So, big question, another drink or do I get to take your jeans off?"

He gave me a big smile and unfastened his belt. It was the mixture as before, but somehow it meant more because he'd come to the house and was relaxed enough to let me do everything. And because fucking him in a chair in my living room seemed, well, sexy. Of course, after we'd finished, he insisted on pulling his clothes on again, shame. We'd have to work on that, but I didn't want to make the mistake of trying to get rid of that rather appealing little boy that lurked underneath the big man. I poured that second glass of wine.

"So, what do you fancy to eat. I have some frozen stuff in and that's about it. I'll warn you; I am useless in the kitchen."

"Well, there's a Sainsbury's Local near here and they often have some decent stuff that you can make. Pasta and that."

"You a dab hand in the kitchen?"

"Not a dab hand, but I can cope. I can cook a few things from scratch, like, but you can buy the bits and pieces and assemble."

"Sounds good. Pasta, salad and cheese to follow. OK?"

We left the wine and set off to find food. As we walked along to the supermarket, I asked about cooking.

"Miles, my brother, is older so as kids he'd be outside doing 'big boy' things with Dad and I'd be inside helping Mum", he put the last two works in air quotes. Then he gave a grin, "But I've always enjoyed food, am interested in what happens to it. Miles isn't, he eats if you put it in front of him but", he shrugged, "that's about it.”

“With us it was genders, I did things with Dad and Mhairi learned useful skills from Mother.”

“Well, Mum didn't exactly teach me to cook, she didn't really approve, either. I picked enough up for myself that when I got my own flat, I experimented. It got so that I developed a small repertoire of things that I felt confident cooking.”

“Well, you’re miles ahead of me then”.

He smiled, “I even cooked for the blokes in the shared house. It was a bit of joke, Colin's cooking tonight, but they never turned it down. What about you?"

"Food was fuel, that was it. As far as my parents were concerned, we should not be wasting time on indulging ourselves. Good plain cooking, that was all. And whilst Mother and Father had a fairly equal relationship, I was never taught things like cooking, but I'm not sure that my sister Mhairi was either.”

“Didn’t your Mum teach her.”

“Hardly. I seem to remember her commenting that she'd learned most of her cooking from flatmates at college, because she felt such an idiot not being able to do more than scramble eggs. So, no. I don't cook. At all. Frozen meals, and instant stuff. I've started exploring the take-aways here, trying to find the ones I like."

If I'd been choosing, it would have been grab pasta, a bag of sauce and salad and go, but Colin seemed to have more of an idea. He wandered round the shop first, checking what there was, then came away with pasta, some mangetout, prawns and chili sauce, plus cheese to follow. And what he did with it was magic too. We weren't up late. After the meal, which was terrific, we'd cuddled which had led to the expected second round, gentler and more fun-sized this time. Then, amazingly, we'd listened to some music. I let Colin loose on some of my playlists on my phone, and the result was a selection of pieces he recognised or had sung in. That led to chatting about why we knew the music in the first place, which meant that Lily came up a lot.

Next morning, there was time for coffee and toast before he left. I think he was running late but seemed cool. Or was that just for me? Anyway, we agreed to meet up for a drink at a place in town that sold wine along with platters of cheese, cold meat and the like. All very trendy, but it appealed to us both.