No going back - 14. Family Life: Church reconciliation

Sunday morning, I woke and realised that Colin was lying still beside me. I turned, and saw he was awake.

"Good morning. You could have got up".

"Good morning. I didn't want to disturb you, and I rather liked being able to lie here and think and listen to you".

"Snoring!"

He smiled, "Not really, more like an engine gently whirring", he put his hand on my chest and stroked it, "I was going to wake you up properly, but we'd better leave that till later. If we are going to get to the Minster, then I'll put coffee on", he got out of bed and waggled his naked bum at me before grinning and putting on a pair of cotton pants.

If we were going to church, we had to be fortified. At least, that was Colin's view and by the time I'd showered and that, there was coffee, toast and scrambled eggs.

"Wow. I'm not used to being so well fed at breakfast."

He looked a bit bashful, "Hope it's OK, I had to root around to find the eggs. It's partly habit", and he patted his stomach, "but also training. As kids, when we went anywhere, Mum always insisted that we were fortified by a decent breakfast. Besides", he gave a sly smile, "scrambled eggs is something I can do."

They were good, too. We had one embarrassing moment. Whilst he was in the bathroom, I blithely walked in, forgetting for that I had a guest in the house. No harm was done, and shock over, we had a laugh about it, but I would need to remember. If Colin was about, then there was someone else in the house.

"I've never been to church." We were driving into town, in my car, so all I could do was glance at Colin and raise an eyebrow. "We never went, Mum and Dad didn't believe in it, and there was nothing at school. We sang a few hymns and had prayers, but never proper church."

"But you've been into the Minster?"

He shook his head, "Never thought. I know I should have, it's a terrific building."

"We'll have to have a wander round after the service is over."

"Will they mind?"

"Of course not. That's what it’s for. The service will probably be quite grand, lots of ceremonial walking about, nice music and that."

"Do you know what to do?"

"Sort of, there'll be a service book to follow."

"Must seem odd to you. You were brought up in church."

"A very different service. Oh, they both worship God, but the services are very, very different. Some folk would go as far as saying that the God they each worship is very different too."

"How?"

I sighed, "I think I'll leave that for another day, if you don't mind. It's rather long and complicated. Let's get this service over, so you have an idea what I'm talking about."

"OK."

We parked quite easily and walked up to the Minster. We were greeted at the door and handed a hymn book and a service leaflet. It was very civilised and very English. There was an organ playing discreetly. Inside the stone was pinker, warmer than the outside, and the congregation sat in chairs rather than pews, which was a relief. The glass was plain, I seemed to remember something about it being destroyed in the Civil War and only the choir had stained glass now. When I’d been to Evensong, we’d used the choir, even sat there. But this service was in the nave, with a modern-looking altar and chairs under the tower.

We walked in, looked for somewhere to sit. Colin's 'Wow' was said quietly and was an expression of his being impressed. My 'Fuck', however, was nearly an embarrassing moment, but I managed to clamp my mouth shut. There, on the aisle, about a third of the way from the front, were Mhairi and Joe.

Colin had continued walking towards the seats, not noticing at first that I had come to a halt. "You OK?"

"That's my sister."

His eyes went wide, "Where?"

"Part of the way back, on the aisle. She's in a dark blue coat and there's a boy next to her with curly dark hair, wearing a black jacket."

"You know?"

I pulled a face, "Not at all. We'd better go and sit next to them?"

He gave me a little grin, "Can hardly avoid them or back out now", at that point Joe turned around and saw us, smiled and tapped his Mother on the arm.

By the time we arrived at the right point in the aisle, both were standing up. I stared briefly at Mhairi, and something passed through her eyes, suddenly I was back to being ten and we would be hiding something from Mother and Father. Mhairi's lips quirked, and I guessed she'd thought something similar. So, deep breath. There was, I think, a sort of tremor of surprise when I introduced Colin. It came out without thinking, I introduced him as my boyfriend. I was rewarded by a discreet squeeze of my hand from him. I'd done the right thing.

We could hardly have a long conversation, but we adjusted positions so that Mhairi and I sat in the middle, with Joe next to her and Colin next to me. We could catch up after the service.

"How come you're here?"

Mhairi raised an eyebrow, "I do live in this town, and well", she smiled, "one of the girls at work was talking about the service and dedicating the Garden of Rest and I remembered about you, and Lily and the seat", she smiled. "It was Lily and the seat that I remembered, really. I thought we'd come.”

“Blimey. Thanks.”

“Well, I wanted to remember Lily and what she did for you, and I wanted to say sorry. I blew up. That was stupid, we should have had a simple discussion. You were right, I was, I am, distrustful of acting as a career. But that's not going to stop him, is it?", she pulled a face. "So, he's going on the Summer Course, and I wanted to say sorry properly." She then leaned over so that Colin was included, "Do you fancy lunch after. We thought the Old Castle, by the river?"

We both nodded, but before we could say more, a bell rang, and the organ started on the first hymn. I found myself in the role of organiser in chief. Neither Colin nor Mhairi knew their way round the service, and though I was hardly an expert, it was a case of in the land of the blind the One-Eyed Man is King.

The music, however, was fabulous. There were two choirs, the regular church choir of adults and children, and the Minster Singers, all adults. The main choir sang the bits of the service, Kyrie, Sanctus and such, in the setting for five voices by William Byrd; I’d some sung of his music including one of his other masses and thought I might get to like this one. I'd taken a photograph of the order of service, so could explore later. The Minster Singers sang something at the beginning, a piece by Bruckner with very apt words about this place being the Lord's, another work I liked, and more Bruckner at the Offertory. Then, once everything was over, we had a piece that I actually recognised. The two choirs joined forces for Harris' Faire is the Heaven. I'd even sung it once. I sat back, closed my eyes and listened. I felt Colin grab my hand, discreetly, and we sat like that.

"You enjoy it?"

He shrugged, "Not sure about the mumbo jumbo", there was a discreet ‘hear, hear’ from Mhairi, though she had a big smile on her face, "but the music was lovely. I liked that last piece."

"I've actually sung it. We can listen at home."

"Good."

Mhairi appeared, "So, you up for lunch?"

Colin gave her a broad grin, "We'd love to."

Joe made a beeline for me and started talking about his Summer Course. He was excited about it and pleased that his Mum had changed her mind. He also wanted to apologise, because my help had caused the barney with his Mum, but she'd had a change of heart, at least. Turned out that she'd talked about it at work, and one of the women had pointed out that if it had been me, she'd have had no qualms at sticking her oar in. The thing about Mhairi, I was beginning to realise, was that she'd listen and think. She wasn't my Father.

It was going to be a proper course, lasting five weeks and there'd be a play at the end. We'd have to go and see it, naturally. Another point that had been made about the course was that it would bring important life skills. Joe thought this hilarious, but I could see the point. I asked him how his girlfriend felt about it and he wrinkled his nose. She was planning on going away with her parents to Italy for two weeks and had wanted Joe to join them. It seemed a cock-eyed scheme to me; I hardly imagined Mhairi stumping up for a luxury holiday in Italy for Joe.

"So, she's pissed off with you?"

Joe rolled his eyes, "You bet. She thinks it's all rubbish. The acting. I thought we were good but…" He shrugged then looked guilty, "If I have to choose..."

"It's the acting rather than the girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Just hope it's worth it."

I didn't want to hug him, but I gave him a friendly thump and smiled, "Well, it'd better be good. You realise we'll all be there for the play at the end?"

He looked sheepish, "Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. Look, can I ask you a question?"

"Ask away, and I might even answer."

"Who's Colin?"

"Apart from my new boyfriend?"

"Yeah", he dipped his head and returned to looking sheepish.

"He's my builder. He's being doing work on my new house, and we got friendly."

"OK", he gave a small smile, "he seems an OK bloke and a builder's good to have in the family", he glanced at me to check I realised this was a joke. "Does that mean that you're staying proper?"

"Because I now have a local boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"I think so, I've decided I like it here and I'm going to enjoy doing up the new house."

"With Colin?"

"I certainly hope so!" We both smiled.