The Freshmen - 33. Chapter 33

September 17, 2004

Tribeca, NY

Jeremy

“Thank you for coming to get me from the hospital,” I said to Kris. “And even more, I appreciate you spending time with me every day.”

“I was glad to do those things,” Kris responded. “I’m also really happy to see that you’re doing so much better.”

“So am I,” I agreed. They’d finally found a nice balance with my drugs, or at least as good as they probably could. Inside my mind, I was still my same bitchy self, but my moods were so much more controlled, and even more than that, I was much more able to keep my thoughts to myself before I blurted out stupid things.

“This whole thing has scared the absolute shit out of me,” he confessed.

The old Jeremy would have freaked out, worrying that I was driving him away, and I still thought that initially, but it was like the meds stopped me from going into that downward spiral. It had taken me this past week not only for Dr. Feingold to get the dosage right, but for me to adapt to how the meds made me feel. “Me too,” I said. “I was worried that putting up with me through all of this would drive you away.”

“I’m more loyal than that,” he said gruffly.

Before I would have started an argument, but instead I smiled at him. “I know.” He leaned in and gave me a kiss.

“You know what the first thing on my agenda is?” he asked, whispering those words in my ear, his mouth so close I could feel his lips at the edge of my lobe.

“What?” I asked breathlessly.

“I’m going to take you into the bedroom and fuck you,” he said, then bit my ear to emphasize how in control he was going to be.

“Ahhh,” I moaned. Before my hormones convinced me that we should go at it here in the Maybach, the car stopped and Dave got out to open the door. Kris and I used that time to try to hide our erections. “Thank you, Dave,” I said as I exited the car, and put my hand on his arm in a friendly way.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Schluter,” he said. “It’s good to see you doing so well.” I nodded and went into the building and straight to the elevator.

The ride up was short enough, and when we entered the condo, Jacinta was there to welcome us back. “I am so glad you are home, Mr. Jeremy,” she said, and gave me a big hug, one I fully returned.

“You have been an angel during this time,” I said, mentally reminding myself to give her a bonus.

“I will make lunch,” she said, then giggled as we went to the bedroom. In no time at all our clothes were off and we were making love, but unlike in the past, it took me a lot longer to ejaculate. Kris didn’t seem to mind at all. When we were done, we lay on our sides, just looking at each other.

“I made you work a little harder,” I said guiltily.

“That wasn’t work; that was all fun,” he said, and kissed me.

“Doctor Feingold said that might be a side effect of the drugs,” I said sadly. “It will take me longer to cum.”

“J, I enjoyed that as much as I always do,” he said. “You should be happy you lasted longer, not upset.”

“I don’t know where I would be if you weren’t here,” I said sadly, my feelings overwhelming my medication.

“Then it’s a good thing that I am,” he said.

My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. “It’s Claire,” I told him, as I answered it. “Hello.”

“It is so good to hear your voice,” she said. “Have you been released yet?”

“I just got home,” I said cheerfully.

“I hope I am not imposing, but I was planning to stop by and see you,” she said. “I will be in town until tomorrow morning.”

“That is wonderful news,” I said. “You are staying with us.” That came out as a directive, not an offer.

“My manners would be horrible if I dropped in on you without any notice and then stayed with you,” she said, sounding horrified.

“Nonsense,” I said dismissively, sounding like Grand. “We have a room already made up for you.”

“Well, thank you for being such a good host,” she said. “I should be there in forty-five minutes.”

“We’ll be waiting for you,” I said, then ended the call. “Claire will be here in forty-five minutes.”

“Then we’d better get up and tell Jacinta,” he said. “We’ll do this again later, then maybe we can go hot tubbing.”

“That’s a great idea,” I said, smiling at him. We alerted Jacinta, then I took a few minutes to make sure my appearance was as perfect as possible. The concierge alerted me when Claire was in the elevator, so I opened the door and walked out to welcome her with Kris at my side.

“I did not expect a welcoming committee,” she said, and gave me a warm hug, then focused her attention on Kris. “It is very good to see you again.”

“Thanks,” Kris said, as she gave him a more reserved greeting. She was so classy he was almost shy around her. “I’m glad you’re here.” We led her into the great room of the condo and Jacinta came out to bring us drinks.

“Thanks,” I said to her, then turned to Claire. “Did you fly out here alone?”

“No, I was actually in Cambridge with Jack, Jake, and Brad,” she said. “They had to get back to California, so I asked them to drop me off here.”

“How lucky for us,” Kris said, but my mind was too busy grappling with what she’d said. She’d referred to my father as ‘Brad’, which could only mean that he’d disowned me. That was further amplified by the fact that he hadn’t stopped in to see me. That saddened me, but rather than be bitchy about it, I chose to say nothing.

“If they took your ride, how are you getting back?” I asked. She seemed surprised that I wasn’t losing it over my father avoiding me, and so did Kris, which improved my mood considerably.

“Luke is flying here tomorrow, then we’re going to spend a few days in St. Barts,” she said.

“So first you spent a weekend with Jack, and now you’re jetting off with Luke?” I teased.

“I am enjoying my freedom,” she said. “And how is it with you?”

“I’m doing much better,” I told her. “When things upset me, it’s like the medications prop me up and prevent me from spiraling down and becoming a complete asshole.”

“That must be a relief,” she said sympathetically.

“It is,” I agreed. “I didn’t realize how awful my mood variations were, but the meds kind of slowed my brain down enough that I could see them swinging back and forth. That was a little scary.”

“And yet you have seemingly conquered them,” she said. “Things should be much better for you going forward.”

“I’m hoping,” I said.

“What are you planning to do?” she asked. I could have been a smart-ass and told her what was on my calendar, but that wasn’t what she meant.

“I think I need to spend a little time making sure I’m stable,” I told her. “It worries me that I’ve just now managed to pull myself out of that nightmare. I want to make sure I stay that way.”

“It’s probably difficult to adapt to something so different,” Kris said supportively.

“It is, but it’s also important,” I explained. “I have some serious work to do with my family and friends to try to repair the damage I have done. They are not going to be willing to forgive me unless they believe that I really have changed. They are smart enough to figure out if I haven’t, so I have to be sure I am better before I reach out to them.”

“That is a very good approach,” she said. “I think that almost everyone will be happy to put this behind them and move on, and they will be truly grateful that you are at a good place.”

“Most people,” I grumbled, then sighed. “It’s pretty obvious that two of the people who aren’t on that list are Will and my father.”

“I would think that is a good assessment,” she said. “I think you must also factor in Stef and my father. They are very forgiving people, though, so I suspect you will find them receptive when you are ready.”

“But not my father and Will,” I said.

“Your father is quite wounded by the arguments the two of you had,” she said to me. “I think he will wait until you have made successful efforts with the others, especially Stefan. Once you and Stef are alright, I think that your father will be more willing to give you another chance.”

“Thank you for being honest with me, and giving me a path to work on,” I said sincerely. Both of them looked at me in shock, because in the past I would have been pelting them with vitriol instead of trying to make amends. “Part of me wants to explain to them how much better I am, but I don’t think that’s enough.”

“I think that is a wise course of action,” she said, which was depressing, since that was my easy way out. “In the past they have factored that in, but this time they are going to want to see concrete examples.”

“I can see that,” I said. “I guess with Will things are going to be harder.”

“I think that he will be the last person you can approach,” she said. She must have seen my expression so she relaxed a little. “He was the most wounded and felt that you’d disowned him completely. In his mind, you completely betrayed him.”

“He’s not wrong,” I admitted sadly. I still thought he’d gone a little over the top with this whole thing, but I was smart enough not to mention that.

“I think that he will watch how you deal with everyone else as you make your peace with them,” she said.

“Probably just like my father will do,” I said. “That makes sense since they are so much alike.”

“There are indeed many similarities between them,” she said with a smile. It was kind of annoying that she seemed to dote on Will. It would be fairer if I was her favorite. “I think the difference is that once your father sees you have worked out things with Stef, he will be receptive. Will won’t work that fast. He is going to watch and see how you act. I would expect that it will take him some time to come around even after you have repaired your relationships with everyone else.”

“I have completely fucked things up,” I said, and sounded very depressed, even though the meds prevented me from flying down into that horrible chasm.

“What I am most impressed with is how calm and rational you are about this, and how you seem to have made it your mission to reach out and make things right with everyone,” she said.

“Will you help me with this?” I asked her plaintively.

“I will,” she said, and patted my knee in a supportive way.

“I would not be here, doing so much better, and committed to fixing things, if it weren’t for you,” I said to Kris.

“I told you that I had your back, and I do,” he said. Jacinta came in to tell us that lunch was ready, and that took us away from this maudlin topic. As I walked into the dining room, I wondered what Kris’s true feelings were for me. His response there had been a little dismissive, but he’d shown me how much he cared by really helping me through this past week.

We had just sat down and started to eat when Claire raised a different topic. “Kris, you had a huge bombshell dropped on you. How are you doing?”

He swallowed hard before answering. “It was really tough, but I’ve been grappling with it better than I thought I would.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because ever since we flew back to New York, I’ve been focused on you,” he said to me. “First I was so pissed off at you I had to run away so I didn’t completely blow up, but after that, I have just been really worried about you.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, and was surprised at how easy it was for me to say that.

“Thanks,” he said. “I guess that was my big focus, so what happened to me sort of fell into the background.”

“Now that you and Jeremy are doing better, it seems that you will now have to grapple with it,” Claire observed.

“Jeremy’s psychologist hooked me up with a guy to talk to, and I’ve got an appointment next week,” he said. “I think that will help, but really Casey already laid out a path for me. At this point, it’s just me convincing my brain that it’s the right plan, and all I have to do is follow it.”

“The thing that I hear from both of you is how much you value your relationship with each other,” she said. “Has that been damaged?”

Kris shook his head. “This past week or so has been the most painful period in my life, even worse than when my father died.” He paused to wipe a tear, and I felt incredibly guilty for all I’d put him through. “But in the end, I think it made us stronger.”

“You do?” I asked, totally surprised by that.

“I do,” he answered. “I think that when two people go through this kind of crucible together, it will either destroy them or make them tougher. This was our first big challenge, yet we managed to overcome all the outside bullshit and still find our way back to each other.”

“That is a very beautiful sentiment,” she said. “I think that is part of the reason that I am willing to work to find a better place with Jack. We have shared so much over the years, and we have been ripped apart, but in the end, I would like to think we are strong enough to still have our friendship.”

“I’m glad you’re working on that,” I said to her, then turned to Kris. “And she’s right, that was a very beautiful sentiment.” He blushed, and we focused on finishing our lunch.

September 24, 2004

Harvard University

Cambridge, MA

Will

“How was your first week?” I asked Marie as we grabbed lunch at Annenberg.

“It’s actually easier than I thought it would be, but then again, in my mind this was going to be like working in a salt mine, so that’s not saying much,” she said. She was so funny.

“I kind of feel the same way,” I admitted. “I think that if I work pretty hard during the week, I’ll have my weekends mostly free.”

“I think you’re doing better than me,” she said wryly.

“Niko is freaking out about the work, so maybe it’s just you pre-meds that are getting hammered,” I teased.

“I figured it would be harder for you doing a double major,” she said, kind of probing.

“I’m taking an economics class and a psychology class this semester,” I told her. “I decided that when the term is over, I’ll pick which one I like better.”

“So no double major?” she asked.

I shook my head. “I decided that I didn’t want to work that hard.” She gave me a look that all but accused me of being a slacker. “This gives me time to spend with Travis. I gave up a lot to move here, and this way I can still enjoy him.”

“Makes sense,” she said. “Our suite is kind of weird.”

“How so?” I asked.

“You met our other two suitemates, right?” she asked.

“Gabriella and Maria,” I said, reciting their names. “Aren’t they both from Latin America?”

“Gabriella is from Panama, while Maria is from Puerto Rico,” Marie said. “It’s like they have their own little clique. They hang out together all the time, and they pretty much speak Spanish at home.”

“Good thing you speak Spanish too,” I said.

“I haven’t told them that I do,” she said. “It’s almost like that would destroy their connection with each other, but at the same time maybe that would be a good thing. It’s like they hang with each other, and Megan, Sarah, and I form another group.”

“Jesus, at least guys have massive fights and solve the problem, while you all just form these little groups and snipe at each other,” I teased. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Are you happy?”

She paused for a minute, then smiled and nodded. “I am. I’m making friends in my classes, and a couple of guys have even asked me out.”

“Duh,” I said. “You’re fucking beautiful. Of course you’re going to get asked out.”

“Scotty was one of them,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m surprised he talked long enough to do that,” I said. “He’s so quiet it’s sometimes hard to remember he’s in the room.”

“He’s taking me to dinner next week, and he told me that I should dress nicely,” she said.

“He’s pretty broke,” I told her. “His father is an autoworker in Toronto, so he’s here on loans and scholarships.”

“He’s kind of cute, and I like him, but I don’t want him to spend a bunch of money on me,” she said.

“I’m trying to figure out a way to get him and Fab nice suits for when they have to go out,” I said. “When we went to dinner with Dad and Jake they looked pretty ragged.”

“How about if you take care of Fab, and I’ll work on Scotty,” she said.

“That’s really nice of you,” I said. “Thanks.”

“So are you hooking up with Fab?” she asked.

“God yes,” I said, making her chuckle. “Dude, he is such a good fuck. I keep thinking that being with him is like being with a younger version of Stefan.”

“That’s hilarious,” she said, and started laughing. “You’re fantasizing about fucking your grandfather. Who does that?”

“When your grandfather is Stefan Schluter and you’re gay, you do that,” I said, making her laugh even more. “Hooking up with Fab is kind of weird, though. I feel like I have to sneak around to do it.”

“Why?” she asked.

“He and I went into his room and Thor saw us,” I said. “He was pretty sad after that happened.”

“You think he’s jealous?” she asked.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t make sense,” I said. “He’s got a girlfriend back home.”

“I thought you were the expert on closet cases,” she taunted. “Sounds like he might have a crush on you.” My mind raced as I thought about all of my interactions with Thor, and how he’d maneuvered us into the same room. All the signs pointed to his being infatuated with me.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see that,” I said. “I must have really hurt his feelings when I boned Fab.”

“Courtesy of Ryan, I got to hang around with a lot of baseball players,” she said, acting like that was a chore. “If I were going to create a stereotype of them, it would be guys who are the strong, silent type. And I think it would be really hard for a baseball player to be out of the closet.”

“This is like Zach all over again,” I said, and felt so bad for Thor.

“I think it’s a little different,” she said. “Zach is determined to make it to the NFL, while Thor is just planning to play in college.”

“He only has to be closeted for four years, while Zach is stuck for a much longer time,” I mused, getting her point.

“So what are you going to do about it?” she asked.

“This weekend, his best friend is coming to town and Travis is getting in this evening,” I said. “So I won’t have a chance to find out about this until next week at the earliest.”

“Niko and Fab also asked me out,” she said.

“Fab asked you out?” I was almost jealous.

“He did, and he’s very cute, so I may do it,” she said, then got concerned. “I won’t, though, if it will upset you.”

I smiled at her. “Thanks for thinking of me, but that’s fine. He’s bisexual and we’re just fuck buddies. Besides, then you can fantasize about what it’s like to have sex with Stef.” That made her laugh again.

“The only one of your suitemates who hasn’t tried to hit on me is Thor,” she said. “He didn’t go after Megan or Sarah either.”

“Megan is just cute; she’s not pretty, so I can see that,” I said. Marie made to argue, then nodded in agreement. “The mountain woman is really pretty, or she would be if she had a makeover.”

Marie leaned in so she could whisper in my ear. “She’s a lesbian.”

I stared at her in a bit of surprise, then nodded. “That’s cool. Maybe someday she’ll tell me that, and we can have our own Pride parade.”

“You might do that, but Sarah’s not going to get on a float,” she said. “Are you bringing Travis to campus?”

“Tomorrow,” I said. “Tonight I have to sate my carnal desires.” She rolled her eyes at how I phrased that.

“Let me know when he’s around,” she said. “I want to say hi.”

“I’ll do that,” I said. We finished eating and I headed back to my room to freshen up before I went to pick up Travis. He had decided to take the train up here this time. I walked into the main room and said hi to Niko and Scotty, then went into my room where I found Thor and another guy.

“Hey!” Thor said. “Shoots, this is my best friend, Stephen Schaeffer.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said pleasantly, while he smiled at me. He was not what I had expected at all. He was short, with reddish brown hair, and a slim but fit body. He was, in a word, a total twink. I told him to call me ‘Shoots’ and he told me to call him ‘Schaef.”

“Good to meet you, too,” he said. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” It was funny, but he was trying to talk like a bro, and it wasn’t entirely working.

“And you’re still glad to meet me?” I joked.

“Thor says you’re his best friend on campus,” he said.

“I would say the same thing about him, with the exception of my cousin,” I told him. “How long are you going to be here?”

“I fly back to New Orleans on Monday,” he said. “I ended up with a day off, so I took advantage of it.”

“Schaef goes to Tulane,” Thor added.

“Good school,” I said. “I’m going to be spending the nights at my brother’s house, so you can sleep in my bed.”

“Thank you so much,” Thor said. It was weird that he hadn’t thought about this before.

“It’s no problem at all,” I said.

“I’d really like to meet Travis,” Thor said. “Maybe we can do something, lunch or whatever, tomorrow afternoon.”

“How about doing some sightseeing?” I asked. “Travis hasn’t spent much time here, so he’d probably be up for it.”

“Let’s plan on meeting up at 11:30,” Thor said. “We can walk over to Matt and Wade’s house and catch up with you there.”

“Tomorrow at 11:30 at Matt and Wade’s,” I confirmed. “I have to go.”

“Have fun,” Thor said, and winked at me, while Schaef snickered.

I took my Segway over to Matt and Wade’s house and picked up my car, then drove down to the Back Bay Amtrak station. Travis texted me and told me they were running ten minutes late, so I found a spot to wait and watch the doors of the station. He texted me again to tell me they had just pulled in, then another ten minutes later I saw him walking out of the station. He looked as gorgeous as he did the day I first reconnected with him at Big’s birthday party. I whisked the Porsche over, grinning at him just as broadly as he was grinning at me. He tossed his bag in the back seat, then hopped into the passenger seat.

“I have missed you so much,” I told him.

“I missed you more,” he said, then he hugged me. I just held onto him until people started honking at me for blocking traffic, then I started driving. “Nice car.”

“I know, right?” I said. “Such a great present.”

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“To Matt and Wade’s house,” I said. “We need to spend some time together.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “What are we going to do?”

“You are going to sink your big dick into my ass,” I said confidently.

“Drive faster,” he said.