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The Great Mirror of Same-Sex Love - Poetry - 13. ...I have slept with many men...
.
The first man I ever loved
Said good bye
and went away
He was killed in Picardy
on a sunny day.
I have slept with many men,
wakened in the night
and cried
I was marri[ed][…]
sleeping by
my husband’s side
In this night of bliss […]
I have slept with many men
wakened in the night
[wakened] in wantonness [?]
wakened in the night
and cried
—Ernest Hemingway[i]
1922
From Hemingway Complete Poems, p. 60
[i] “The first man I ever loved” Ernest Hemingway Complete Poems (New York 1979), ps. 60-61
https://archive.org/details/completepoems0000hemi/page/60/mode/1up
“The first man I ever loved” is the original opening line of this poem. “First” was later crossed out and replaced with “only.” The fragment of this work survives in a single manuscript, where he apparently grew frustrated by the challenges of writing the second and stanzas – or thought better of their explicitness – crossed them out, and obscured at least one word entirely with the black infill of a fish doodle. More doodles followed, although of an arguably sexual nature (a pussycat, snake, fish and a testicular-headed person/creature). Oddly, the Complete Poems (New York 1979), has nothing to say (in print) about this remarkably revealing poem.
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