The Boy with No Name - 13. Chapter 13

I ran straight upstairs as soon as we got home. Timmy followed me.

“So, what’s up with you and Jesse?” he asked.

“Nothing, Timmy. It’s all in your head.” I answered throwing myself onto my bed.

“No I’m not. Even Stacy picked up on it. It’s not just your crush on him. It’s more than that.”

“Do you ever shut up?” I asked.

“I’m not shutting up until you tell me what’s up.”

“Okay,” I said sitting up. “The truth is that I don’t know what’s going on between us. It’s just something that happens.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well, that’s the truth. I can’t explain this thing going on between us.” I said.

“What do you mean ‘thing’?” asked Timmy.

“I didn’t mean it like that. Nothing like that is going on between us.”

My instincts told me that what happened with Jesse was real, but if there was the slightest chance that it wasn’t, I couldn’t take the chance of telling Timmy.

“Are you sure?” asked Timmy.

“I think I would know if something happened between Jesse and me, Timmy.”

“Okay, okay chill. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m always going to worry about you.” said Timmy. “I know sometimes we don’t get along very well, but you’re my little brother. I will always look out for you.”

I gave him a half smile. “Thanks, but I have this under control.”

“If you say so,” said Timmy. “Look, I’m going to go out riding for a bit. Clear my head. You wanna come?”

“No, I think I’ll stay here.” I said.

My dad, having grown up in Montana, thought it would be good for my brother and me to learn how to ride horses. He’s had us riding since we were smaller. I think I was six when I started riding and Timmy was around the same age when he started. Of course, we rode ponies at first, but switched to horses when we got big enough.

It was another few days before Jesse talked to me again. He acted as if I didn’t exist. Though, this time, none of the adults really noticed.

He finally talked to me on a Saturday after noon, exactly a week later. I was out riding a horse called Max. It was my first time riding since I got to Montana.

Jesse walked up to the horse and started to pet it. “I saw you from my window in my room. I knew your brother could ride, but I didn’t know you could too.”

“Well, we’ve been riding since we were little.”

“I know. He told me. You’re a much better rider than he is. You have better form.”

“I guess. Can I go now?” I asked.

“Wait, can’t we talk for a minute?” asked Jesse.

“Oh, but what would we talk about?” I asked back.

“I don’t know. How long have you been riding?”

I got off of my horse and I started to walk him back to the stables.

I sighed before I answered. “I’ve been writing since I was six, so about ten years.”

“You really are a good rider.” said Jesse.

“Is this what we’re really going to talk about after an entire week of silence? We’re going to talk about my riding?”

“What else do you expect to talk about?”

“How about what happened last Saturday night?” I asked.

“Listen, nothing happened. It’s all in your head.” Jesse answered.

“Whatever. I know what really happened. You can be in denial all you want.”

We finally reached the stables. I took off Max’s sattle and started to brush him.

“I’m not in denial. Nothing happened.”

“Listen, if you’re just going to keep denying everything I want you to leave me alone.” I told him as coldly as I could.

“But I don’t want to leave. I want us to be friends.”

“Ha! Friends?! How can I be friends with you after what happened between us?”

“I told you nothing happened between us.”

That was it. I had it. I couldn’t take his denial any longer. I threw the brush down and got into his face.

“You know what? If you’re in denial about your own sexuality that’s one thing, but bringing me into this, fucking with my head, that’s just wrong.”

He didn’t answer. It was, again, like déjà vu. He grabbed me, pulled me close and pressed his lips hard against mine. After the kiss, his hands were still on my waist. I just looked into his eyes. They were full of so much passion.

I brought him closer and kissed him again and he pushed me into Max’s empty stall. He closed the stall door and the pushed me very sexually onto the hay. He lifted off his t-shirt and then got on top of me.

We rolled around in the hay a few times with our lips locked together. I ended up on top of him. I took my shirt off and my hips brushed against his. I could feel him get excited under me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted him so much. It didn’t matter how much I was mad at him or how much of an ass he was. I wanted him, pure and simple.