The Boy with No Name - 15. Chapter 15

So, as the summer went on Jesse and I got closer. He was my best friend, among other things.

Although, the only thing I didn’t really like was pretending that I wasn’t jealous when he went with Stacy like there was nothing between us, like I never even existed.

“I hate this.” I pouted as I sat in Jesse’s room watching him get ready for a date with Stacy.

“I know you do, but I’m not ready to break up her. I really care about her and I don’t want to hurt her.” said Jesse buttoning his shirt.

“You don’t think it’ll hurt her when she finds out the truth?” I asked. “You need to tell her before things with you become serious.”

“Things with us are already serious with us, Jamie. I can’t just break up with her out of the blue. She’ll want to know why and I don’t want to have to lie to her.”

“Then don’t.” I said.

“I can’t”

“Why not? Are you ashamed of me or something?”

“Of course not,” He sat next to me and took my hand. “I care about you a lot. I’m just not ready to be out yet. You understand that, right.”

“But…if we were out, we wouldn’t have to hide anymore.”

“How do you know that? How do you know our parents won’t freak out and move us apart from each other?”

“How do you know that they won’t be okay with it?” I asked.

“I can’t take that chance. I don’t want to be separated from you, Jamie. I couldn’t handle that.”

I sighed and looked down at our hands weaved together in my lap. I wanted desperately for Jesse and I to come out and to let our relationship be known, but not enough for us to fight about it.

“You’re right.” I kissed him on the cheek.

“Hey, I’m not your grandma am I? Give me a real kiss.”

I brought him closer and gave him a nice long kiss which turned into a tongue kiss which turned into making out on his bed which led to him taking his shirt off again. I lifted my shirt and then started to unbuckled his pants. He kicked off his pants and then pulled mine off.

He started to kiss at my neck. His kissing turned into slight sucking and I started to rub up and down his back. I felt his hard on against my legs. I squeezed his ass and he sucked harder. I could feel myself bruising so I pushed him off of me.

“We can’t do this now. You’re about to go out with Stacy.”

“You can’t do that. You can’t get me all hot and then just say no.” said Jesse.

“I just did, Jesse.” I said getting up off of the bed.

“What the hell’s up with you?”

“Nothing, nothing is up? I just don’t want to be the other person. I don’t want this Jesse.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

I finished getting dressed. “I’m saying that eventually you’re going to have to choose and it’s pretty clear who you would choose.”

“Jamie, don’t talk like that.”

“I’m trying to face the truth, Jesse. You’ll obviously choose Stacy. You’re too worried about how people will react to choose me. So…until you think you’re ready, I don’t want be with you.”

“Jamie, we live in the same house. It’s not as if we can avoid each other.”

“And it’s not as if you haven’t done it before.”

“Look, if you really feel this way about it, I’ll cancel my date with Stacy and we can go riding together.”

“No, don’t do that. I don’t want you to change your plans for me.”

“Please Jamie,” Jesse got up and took my hand. “I want to. I don’t want you to be upset.”

“I want you to do whatever you think is right.” I said. “If you feel it’s necessary to stay with Stacy to hide who you really are, then do it. Just don’t expect me to hide who I am for much longer.”

I left the room and walked into my bedroom. Timmy was in there playing video games.

“What’s with the long face?” he asked as I walked in. He paused his video game.

“I’m just tired. I’m think I’m going to go to bed early.”

“But I thought we were all going to that party in town.” said Timmy.

“Correction, Jesse was going with Stacy.” I said. “You can go if you want. I’m beat.”

“No, I think I’ll stay here. I’ll be downstairs. I think Family Guy is on.”

“Good for you.” I said.

Timmy walked out and I got out of my clothes and got into bed. I curled up into the fetal position.

I heard the door open. “What happened? Is mom watching TV or something?”

I felt someone sit on my bed. I looked up and it was Jesse. “What do you want?” I asked.

“I canceled my date with Stacy.” he said.

“I told you that you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

“What did she say?” I asked.

“She was disappointed, but not upset or anything. I told her she could go to the party without me.”

“Do you want a medal or something?” I asked.

“Jamie, don’t be mad at me. I can’t take it.” I could feel him rubbing my legs. It felt so good. He sat closer to the head of the bed. “Hey, I think I gave you a hickey.”

I jumped up “What?” I ran over to the mirror and there, on my neck were Jesse was kissing me, was a big purple hickey.