The Discovery - 16. Chapter 16

The buzz of the door unlocking barely registered to Josh as he waited for the guard to escort him through the doorway and down the hall. For the last five, nearly six years, he has kept his head down, avoided the dangerous inmates and stayed as silent and unassuming as possible. There were a few instances where his method of survival didn’t serve him very well. It wasn’t something he wanted to talk about or think about. All that has kept him sane and alive during his time in prison was the belief that he wasn’t going to die behind bars. As the years passed, that belief got dimmer and dimmer. Years spent reliving his personal nightmare coupled with knowing there was no one left in his life chipped away at his soul. Little by little. Bit by bit. There were days when he wondered if there was anything to really live for. The urge to just succumb to the inevitable over time got stronger and stronger.

And then, one day, someone came into his life and brought that ember of hope inside him back from oblivion. He still can remember that first meeting with his new lawyer. The part that clung to him the most was feeling his touch. It was the first time for as far back as he could remember when he felt the touch of another person that was comforting instead of cold and indifferent like the guard’s hand on his arm as they walked down the hall. Or the tepid, half-hearted attempt at compassion from a foster parent who in the end didn’t care as much as they wanted him to believe. And the idea that he wasn’t alone. That he had family. Out there, somewhere. The concept of having a family was one he gave up on as a child. Reimagined when he met Sharon, only to have it crushed again in the worst way possible.

Yet, hope was still there. Since Kyle told him he had a brother, and that they were married, left Josh wondering what kind of a person he was. What he looked like. What he sounded like. Was he funny? Was he serious? He had a million questions in his mind, but he kept them to himself. Until this nightmare ended, he had to keep all of that to himself for now. He did have hope. But he also didn’t want it to overwhelm him. Like a person buying a lottery ticket who automatically starts thinking about how they will spend it, Josh didn’t want to dream too far into the future only to have it come crashing down again. His first task was to make it through the legal mess. Later, he can start thinking about the next step.

He was escorted into the same meeting room as before and wasn’t surprised to see Kyle and Michelle sitting there. When their eyes met, Kyle smiled warmly to him. That got Josh’s attention. Normally, Kyle stayed pretty professional. They waited until the handcuffs were removed and the guard left before they spoke.

“Having a good day yet,” Kyle asked with that bright smile still on his lips.

Josh’s brow furrowed as he frowned curiously. “Same as any other day.”

Michelle’s lips lifted in a shadow of a smirk before saying, “well, I’m pretty sure we can make it better.”

“How?”

Kyle pulled some papers out of his briefcase, still smiling. He silently flipped through them until he got to the final page and read it aloud. “Therefore, it is the opinion of this court that the defendant, Joshua Carter, received inadequate representation and by that was deprived of his sixth amendment right to assistant of counsel for his defense. We therefore vacate the jury’s conviction and order the Allegheny district attorney to refile charges, if they see fit to do so.”

Josh sat there, absorbing the news. There was this irrational feeling inside him telling It was just a dream and to move would make it end. Yet still, he felt his eyes water knowing that he could be one step closer to being free. He didn’t let himself get too emotional. He had a feeling that somewhere in those words there were more hurdles to overcome. “So, what happens next?”

Kyle’s smile faltered a little at Josh’s reaction. “Josh. This means that your conviction was overturned.”

He nodded in understanding. “But it’s still not over with. If it was, I’d be on my way out of here.”

“Not yet, unfortunately,” Michelle confirmed. “The DA’s office is refiling the charges tomorrow. But…” She smirked slightly. “You are getting out of here.”

Josh blinked rapidly. “What? How?!”

Kyle’s smile brightened again, seeing the small flicker of relief in Josh’s eyes. “Because you’re no longer considered a convicted felon. Tomorrow, you’ll be brought to the magisterial court for arraignment.” Kyle sobered slightly as he continued. “Now, that means a bail amount may be issued. But, if not, and you’re remanded into custody, you’ll be going to the county jail instead of here. And you’ll stay there while the trial goes on.”

Josh’s emotions started to press against the tight bands inside him he had spent a lifetime constructing to keep himself in check from more disappointment. The idea that he might be free tomorrow was too good of an idea to discount. But, again, he held back. Not wanting to get ahead of himself. “So…” He took a breath and felt his feelings go calm inside him. “Okay. When is the trial?”

Kyle grimaced. “That could be awhile. We’re still doing an investigation and now that there is an actual trial, we can have the court issue subpoenas for testimony. We’ve found a few holes in the prosecution but we’re looking for more. Remember, we don’t need to find Sharon’s real killer. That’s not our job here. Our job is to give the jury reasonable doubt to your own guilt.”

“That said, we have a few leads,” Michelle chimed in. “We just need to do some more backtracking. You wouldn’t happen to know anyone who may have had reason to hurt Sharon, do you?”

He shook his head. “I wish I did. The cops asked me that at the time. But all I knew was that she was out with her friends. She wasn’t even supposed to come back to my place. But she probably did just to check up on me.”

“That’s kind of odd, if you think about it,” she commented. “I mean… if you were asleep and unresponsive, what was there for her to check up on?”

Josh smirked ruefully. “She was a worrier. I can imagine she would’ve come just to watch me sleep. She either was going to stay the night with me or just stopped in to check if I was still breathing. She had a key to my place, so it’s not like it wasn’t possible for her to come and go whenever she wanted.”

Kyle nodded. “That’s a hard knot to undo. Nearly everyone we’ve talked to had nothing bad to say about her, other than her drug addiction and even then, they sounded more sympathetic than accusatory.”

“She was easy to like,” Josh admitted. “She was very outgoing. Lots of guys were interested in her in college, so she told me.”

“How old was she when she died,” Michelle asked.

“Twenty-four.”

“And you were thirty,” she stated.

“Thirty-one.” His mind rebelliously went back to that last birthday with her. He smiled softly to himself despite the pain that it caused in his heart. “She threw me a party. Had a bunch of her friends there with us.” Overcome with the memories, he bowed his head. Despite himself, he chuckled at the mental image. “Sharon’s friend… Emma… God, they were so young. She tried to get me drunk, but I told her I was staying sober for life. Told me I was no fun, but still hugged on me tight. Told me how lucky Sharon was. That was the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.”

Kyle smiled as he listened but Michelle, keeping her mind on the case, frowned slightly. “Emma? She wasn’t at that party the night Sharon died. Do you know anything else about her?”

Josh thought about it for a moment before answering. “She and Sharon had been friends through college. Guess they got high together. Dated the same guys and stuff. She was friendly to most.”

“Most, but not everyone,” Michelle stated.

“Not everyone gets along. She was friends with Sharon but was tight with Angie. They were mutual friends. She had a beef with a few people. I remember she told me she just put up with Mindy, but she hated Dylan.”

“She never said why?”

Josh shook his head. “If she did, I don’t remember it.”

“Do you know her last name?”

Josh sighed, trying to remember. “Griff…. Griffon, I think?”

She dutifully wrote the name down to go with her other notes. “One of the other people at the party mentioned that Angie hated Dylan. Any idea about why?”

He shook his head. “No clue. I remember at one of their little gatherings Dylan walked in and Angie just ran out of the house. No clue why. Dylan didn’t say anything other than her being a drama queen.”

Kyle and Michelle both frowned. “Weird that we can’t get in touch with him. He’s been putting us off for a while.”

Josh just shrugged. “I heard he’s a big-time guy now. Doesn’t surprise me. He always acted like he was above everyone else. Wasn’t obvious about it, but I could tell.”

Kyle tilted his head curiously. “What was it that you could see?”

“I’m a poor kid, Kyle,” Josh replied with a half-smirk. “Been moved from foster home to foster home. You get used to people looking down their noses at you even if they think they’re not or not being obvious about it.”

“What else did you think about him?” Kyle sat back in his seat. He had a feeling that this was worth getting into.

“Just that he liked to talk about himself. About how he was going to be a politician someday. Always had to have a debate about anything, and always talked about how his ideas were right and everyone else was wrong. Personally, I think the others just put up with him to be polite.”

Kyle frowned slightly. He never had much use for politicians. “Didn’t you say Rodger flirted with you once?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “It was innocent enough. I think he was just being flirty to flirt. Didn’t really mean anything.”

“We were told Rodger and Sharon had a few words exchanged between them,” Michelle said. “The night before her murder. Was that something you’ve seen them do before?”

Josh frowned. “That doesn’t sound right. They may have been joking around. But Sharon wasn’t the type to take shit either. Depends on what was said.”

“We’re still hoping to find him. But we have a good idea where to look.”

Josh shrugged. “You’d know better than I would. After I got arrested, I never saw any of them again.”

“Is there anything else about them you haven’t told us yet,” Kyle asked.

Josh thought for a moment. “Well… I didn’t bring it up sooner because it didn’t seem important. But… I met Dylan the same time I met Sharon.”

Kyle blinked and stared at him for a few seconds, not understanding at first. When it came to him, his eyes widened in surprise. “Dylan Goode was in rehab?”

Josh nodded. “Came in around the same time as Sharon did. I was a week into the program. He didn’t seem too happy to be there.”

Kyle and Michelle exchanged meaningful looks. This could be what they were looking for. “Josh,” Michelle began to ask. “Do you know if Sharon dated Dylan before that?”

“Yeah, they did. Freshman year of college. Sharon implied it got really intense for a while. But with the drugs and everything else going on, it fell apart.”

“So, they were just friends after that?”

Josh looked uncomfortable at her question. “I wouldn’t put it that way, exactly. More like they still had mutual friends. She wasn’t hostile towards him. He would hit on her. Like, aggressively sometimes. Not physical, but really more or less trying to get her to break up with me.”

Kyle frowned. “Right in front of you?”

“Oh, no,” he quickly replied. “Whenever I wasn’t around. He even got her to meet him for lunch or dinner when I was working. Act like it was a date. She didn’t mention it a lot to me, but I know she told her friends. That’s how I found out about it.”

His voice lowered slightly as he continued. “I asked her once if she was interested in him again. Told her that if she was, I’d understand. She told me there was no way in hell she was going to get involved with him. Made it clear. I was the only one she wanted to be with. Made me feel good to hear that.” His eyes drifted down to the table in front of him and his voice sounded more subdued. “I never told her that I loved her enough. It was never something easy for me to say. I felt it. I knew I wanted to spend my life with her. But it was so hard for me to say it. Because I’d gone so long without having someone to say it to that it always felt like if I did say it, then she’d leave. Sounds so stupid when I think of that now. I should have told her I loved her that night.”

Kyle regarded him sadly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that. And that you’re going through this now. But we’re going to make it right.” Kyle smirked ruefully before he said, “happy birthday, by the way.”

Josh looked up at him in surprise. “How did you know?”

“I’ve read your file a few times.” Kyle didn’t add that he had seen Kathrine Eaton’s death certificate and the date had hung in his memory since then. He decided it was time to wrap up this meeting, but before he left, he had one more thing to do. He stood up and grabbed a small object in his hand before coming around the table. “Stand up for me, Josh.”

Josh slowly rose to his feet wondering what his lawyer was up to. It was easier for him to think of Kyle more as just a lawyer and not that there was a deeper connection between them. The idea that he was married to a brother he never met seemed too much for him to handle for now. “What’s going on?”

Kyle smirked and unrolled a measuring tape in his hand. “You’re going to court tomorrow. We need to get you something to wear.”

Josh stared at Michelle weirdly as Kyle stood behind him stretching the tape down his back and then around his waist. “Isn’t this a bit much?”

Michelle grinned. “We want you looking like a defendant, not a convicted criminal. So, we’re getting you a suit to wear to court that you can change into at the courthouse before we go before the judge.”

“If you say so,” he replied. Despite his misgivings, a small smile lifted his lips, feeling silly to be just standing there while a guy he barely knows but is somehow related to him was going over his arms, legs and waist with the tape. If what they said was true, then he would be moving out of his cell in the morning. For some reason, that felt like a bigger change in his life than everything else he had talked about.

“Okay,” Kyle said as he finished. “Michelle is going to get you something nice to wear and we will see you tomorrow.”

Josh remained standing, unsure of what to do. There was a sudden sense of not wanting to be alone. Kyle made him feel like he used to feel whenever he remembered his parents. Or, rather, his adopted parents. His mind was still processing that information. In a way, it didn’t matter anymore. Like Kyle had told him weeks ago when he revealed the truth to him, it didn’t matter if he was adopted or not. His parents were real, and they loved him. Feeling loved was the one thing he missed most since Sharon’s death. He’d gone most of his life without feeling it and she got him hooked on it faster than the meth or heroin ever had.

A few minutes later, the guard stepped inside as Kyle and Michelle gathered their things to leave. On his way back, he felt the guard’s grip on him was lighter than usual. When he spoke to Josh, he could hear a little less harshness in it. The guard was probably not allowed to say anything about impending departure the next day, but his attitude let him know that every Kyle had said was true. When the guard released him at the door to his cell, Josh looked him in the eye and thanked him before stepping in. The guard only nodded and walked away. Later in the day, he was told of his transfer and to pack his things. As his cellmate watched, Josh started in on his task, trying to contain the sense of hope that he could feel growing faster within himself.

****

Kevin was finally unwinding from the stress of the last few weeks as he focused on his workout. It had been months since he had both the time and energy to go to the gym and get in some reps. The repetitive physical strain and release helped to clear his mind and relax. Before today, the last time he managed to get to a workout was that tiny hotel gym room with the single treadmill and small weight rack in Houston. So, today, once he finally finished up the divorce case he had been working on and had nothing else other than a few documents he needed to read up on in the Carter file, he finally got to leave the office at a reasonable time and go to the gym.

The brightly lit room and the sounds of other people around him also helped with ignoring how dark it was already in the day. Kevin grew up in Iowa, in a small rural area bigger than where he lives now. For as long as he could remember, the winter months were the harshest with the cold temperatures and how quickly the sun set every day. Even now, he found himself longing for the hot humid weather of summer. At least in the gym, he could ignore that it wasn’t even six o’clock and it was pitch dark outside.

He finished his last set and got up from the bench before walking towards the locker room. As much as he hated to, he would have to get home and check his email for messages from Kyle or Michelle about court tomorrow. So preoccupied with his internal thoughts he didn’t notice the young boy coming around the corner and crashing into him in his rush to get to the weight room. The boy might look small, but he seemed to have some mass to him since Kevin had to put effort into staying upright.

The boy halted and looked up at him in surprise and embarrassment. “Oh, God. I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to run into you like that.”

Kevin took a second to make sure he was alright. Nothing felt broken so he politely waved the boy off. “No problem, kid. Accidents happen.”

Before either of them could say anything more, Kevin heard a teasing yet authoritative voice from around the corner the boy had just come from. “Tanner, I told you no running.”

Tanner blushed and turned his head. “I said I was sorry.”

Kevin was about to assure the boy’s father when the man appeared, and his throat went dry. His eyes widened slightly in surprise and a sliver of fear while his mind grasped for words. “Oh shit… ah… Mr. Howard.”

Jacob looked at the man with curious amusement. “You sure he didn’t knock you around? He gets a little excited and stops thinking when we’re getting ready to work out.”

“Oh.” Kevin was searching his brain for names while at the same time thinking that he has seen this person’s brother which he didn’t know about. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t remember the names of Kyle’s sons while trying to not look panicked. “This is your son?”

“Oh, no,” Jacob said with a laugh. “This is my friend’s son. Andy’s already out there somewhere in the gym. I’m just here to help Tanner with his workout.” He took a moment to look the man in front of him up and down. “I’m sorry. Have we met? Or are you confusing me with my husband? He’s usually Mr. Howard. I’m just Jacob most of the time.”

“Or Uncle Jacob,” Tanner added with a smile.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m… ah… one of Kyle’s associates. Well, his lawyer. One of the other lawyers. In his law office that is.” Normally, Kevin didn’t have problems starting conversations with just about anyone. But seeing Jacob suddenly appear only reminded him of the uncomfortable secret he was carrying. Or, rather, he thought he was. Seeing Jacob this close, there was no doubt in his mind that he was related to Josh. While Josh was thinner and paler, the face had far too many similarities to discount. “Okay. Jacob. Yeah. I was just… finishing up.”

Jacob looked at him with growing concern. “Are you sure you’re okay? Tanner didn’t hit you too hard I hope. Or has Kyle been working you a lot?”

“Oh. No! Just been a long workout. Haven’t had a chance lately with…” He winced, slightly. He made it sound like Kyle was a slavedriver where Kevin had no time to himself. “What I mean is between court appearances, it’s been hard to find time to come down here.”

“I see.” He really didn’t but felt he should be polite to the obviously nervous younger man. “You have something big coming up?”

Kevin paled slightly. That was a clear indication Kyle hadn’t said anything about Josh. “You could say that.”

Jacob’s eyes narrowed slightly as he smirked. “Well, don’t let him work you too hard. Come on, Tanner, let’s get started. You have an hour to get some more work in.” As he was walking away, he turned and asked, “what was your name again?”

“Uh. Kevin. Kevin Bryant.”

Jacob nodded. “Nice to meet you, Kevin. See you later.”

Kevin watched the two of them walk into the workout room he had just left. He let out a breath and then hurried to the locker room. He needed to get home, get a drink and then bed. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.

****

Kyle was enjoying a rare quiet night at home with Matt and Aaron. Jacob left for the gym with Andy and Tanner shortly after they finished dinner, promising to be back in a few hours. That left him with the task of entertaining the boys on his own. In truth, he relished it. After his long day working with Josh, preparing his opening arguments and making plans for what would happen between now and the start of the trial, it was refreshing to get to spend the night with the boys. A part of him wished he could do this every day.

They had started with a card game between the three of them. After an hour, Kyle was content to just watch the two of them play together as he lay on the couch. It still amazed him that with Matt being five years older than Aaron, there were rarely any squabbles between them. It seemed almost abnormal to him. Even when he was growing up as an only child, he would bicker and spat with Andy or Troy which sometimes turn into shoving matches. He could even recall a few times when they fought with Andy’s older brother Nathan. It was rare, but it did happen. As they got older, they settled into their friendships and by the time they were teenagers, they learned how to avoid fights altogether. Perhaps that they were a team for so long helped in that. Their coaches and their fathers emphasized working together so much it ended up bleeding into their personal lives.

It wasn’t long before he started to notice Aaron’s eyes drooping and he knew it was nearly time for them to start getting ready for bed. “Aaron, sweetie,” Kyle said as he motioned for him to come over.

Aaron rose slowly to his feet and trundled over. Kyle carefully picked him up and laid him down on his chest, folding his arms around him. He smiled as Aaron put his arms over him and laid his head to one side. “Matt, will you be fine while I get him in the tub?” He took a moment to brush his nose against the dark mop of hair on top of the little boy’s head.

Matt was getting to his feet as he replied. “Sure. When’s Dad gonna be home?”

Kyle carefully got to his feet, keeping his hold on Aaron secure. “Should be any time now. It’s been almost three hours.”

“Is Tanner going to be in a tournament soon?”

Kyle grinned. “So Andy tells me. I’m heading up.” He kissed Aaron’s hair as he ascended the stairs. “I think we’re a little late getting your bath tonight, sweetheart.”

Aaron yawned. “When’s Daddy coming home?”

“Soon.” They went into the bathroom and Kyle started running the water. Once he felt it was fine, he left Aaron to get undressed and in the water while he went into his room and got some pajamas for bed. Aaron must have been tired, Kyle reasoned, since he didn’t fuss and went about his task briskly without any playtime. Just as Aaron was finishing up, they heard the back door open and the familiar sound of Jacob’s footsteps coming down the hall.

Aaron’s eyes lit up slightly from his fatigue as he got into his pajamas. Downstairs, Kyle could hear Jacob’s voice carry through the halls as he was talking to Matt. Once he was dressed, Aaron headed towards the stairs just as Jacob started coming up. He grinned as he jogged up the steps and scooped Aaron up in his arms. “How’s my little boy tonight?”

“Tired,” Kyle supplied with a smirk from his vantage point in the bathroom doorway.

“Aww.” Jacob kissed his cheek. “Want me to put you to bed, or read you a story first?”

“Story,” Aaron said as he rubbed his eyes.

Jacob gave Kyle a knowing smirk before he started towards Aaron’s room. “Okay. Story it is.” As he passed him, Jacob gave Kyle a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Kyle said to Aaron as he made his way back downstairs. He knew Jacob would be down in a few minutes. As he was making his way across the hall, Matt started heading towards the stairs. He stopped and looked at his son curiously. “Going to bed already?”

“No,” Matt replied as he walked up to him. “Just going to my room to read and maybe play a game or two.”

Kyle hugged him. “Well, don’t be up for too long. You still have school in the morning.”

“I know.” He let go and headed up the stairs. “’Night, Dad.”

Kyle smiled. “Goodnight, Baby Boy.” He continued on his way to the kitchen and started heating up water for some tea. By the time the water was hot, he heard footsteps approaching. He smiled and pulled two cups from the cabinet as Jacob walked in.

Jacob smelled the air and ask, “what’s that?”

“Oolong tea,” Kyle replied. “I wanted to try something new.”

Jacob shrugged. “I’ll try some.”

“How’s the workouts coming?” Kyle poured two cups and brought them to the table.

“He’s fine.” Jacob took his mug and added a bit of sugar to it. “He’s starting to get some definition to him. He probably won’t get far this year, but once he hits high school, he’ll be a beast.”

Kyle smirked. “Nice.”

“How was your day?”

He thought about Josh and what’s happening tomorrow. “It was good. I’ll be in court for a while tomorrow. But it’ll be court in Pittsburgh. The drive will be longer than the hearing.”

Jacob looked up, curiously. “Anything serious?”

Kyle nodded. “Not right now. Just a preliminary thing. I’ll probably get pulled into a meeting with the county DA afterwards.” He realized he needed to tell Jacob more. Much more than he had already. “About this case… once it gets started, it’s going to get pretty detailed.”

“When will that be?” Jacob frowned slightly, not liking what might be coming.

Kyle put up a hand to forestall any misunderstanding. “It’ll be a few more months, probably before we go to trial. There’s still discovery and obtaining evidence. That could take two more months. So, in all truth, the real trial won’t start until sometime in March or April.”

Jacob nodded. He could live with that. “Do we need to change our schedule with the kids?”

“I don’t think so,” Kyle replied. “If there are changes to be made, it’ll be on a week-to-week basis.”

“Okay.” He took a drink of his tea and found it to his liking. “I ran into one of your guys earlier.”

“Really? Who?”

Jacob had to stop and think. “Kevin, I think? He was acting weird. Called me ‘Mr. Howard.’” The last part made him break into a grin as he looked across the table to Kyle.

Kyle chuckled silently. “He’s a good guy. He did the divorce for Mark’s parents. Remember? He’s working on this case to.”

“You still haven’t told me much about this thing you’re doing now,” Jacob commented. “Is there anything I should know?”

He could feel himself getting anxious. He didn’t want to lie to Jacob. But at the same time, he didn’t want to start a fight. “Nothing I can think of.”

Jacob looked at Kyle silently. He was almost sure Kyle wasn’t telling him the truth. “Well, I hope it all works out.”

“Me too.” Kyle decided to change the subject. “You shouldn’t drink too much of that. It’ll keep you up all night.”

“I doubt that” he quipped. He didn’t mention that in the last two months he had been waking up more often to strange dreams. Like fractured memories his mind replayed when he couldn’t stop them. Jacob sighed. He knew he should say something. “I’ve been dreaming quite a bit lately.”

Kyle’s eyes showed a hint of concern as he asked, “about what?”

“Just… things.” He didn’t want to evade him completely. But at the same time, he also wasn’t sure how to describe them. “A couple nights ago I had a dream I was running from something.”

“Just something?”

Jacob shrugged. “Yeah. I was carrying Aaron with me and running through this hallway as fast as I could.” He looked down at his tea. “It was one of those weird things. Like, I didn’t look behind me, but I knew there was something chasing me, and it was getting closer.”

“Sounds scary,” Kyle said. “Has this happened a lot?”

Jacob shrugged. “Not regularly. Just… happens.”

Kyle saw an opportunity and took it. “Is this something that started recently?”

“Not… not really, no.”

Kyle frowned slightly and decided to try another way. “You know… since we found out about your thing, you’ve been a little odd. Not all the time. And you don’t let it get in the way of taking care of the boys. But it’s been mentioned to me a few times now since last summer that you have been having some moments.”

Jacob shook his head dismissively as he listened. “It’s nothing.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Kyle said. He thought about his next words carefully before he continued. “You’ve never really talked about your dad. I mean, you’ve said things here and there. But you never really shared any memories of him.”

“Not many memories I want to share,” Jacob replied. “It wasn’t a very good life with him.”

Kyle frowned, unconvinced. “There were never any good moments?”

Jacob sighed and closed his eyes even as thoughts and memories of his dad swirled around in his mind. “It wasn’t one bad day after another,” he offered. “But I don’t talk about it because it all feels so… tainted.”

With a sigh, Kyle pressed on. “Nothing good happened? No good birthdays or anything like that?”

“Why is it so important?”

“Because it’s a part of you. I remember all the times I dropped you off at home. How you never wanted or let me drive you up to your trailer. Why was that?”

“I didn’t want you to see him. See…” Jacob’s mind drifted back to that place and that time. What Kyle was asking wasn’t unreasonable. But the idea of going back to those times filled him with dread. “I was embarrassed. I guess that’s the best way to say it.”

Kyle sighed. “Jacob… I think some of the reasons for your problem with the whole ‘missing brother’ situation is that you can’t bring yourself to talk about your dad. And I think you’re making a mistake.”

“Oh?”

“Well, if we’re supposed to share with each other, then don’t you think you should at least tell me about what happened?”

“I already told you what happened.” Jacob’s face started to grow stern the longer they talked about this. “He used to beat me. He got drunk a lot. Eventually I had to escape. He went to prison for it. He got out. Then he died.”

Kyle frowned. “We both know there’s more to it than that. I mean, was he drunk all the time? Was he hitting you when you were a little kid?”

“Yes,” Jacob snapped. “I was seven the first time he hit me.”

He could tell Jacob was getting irritated, but he had to keep trying. “So, no happy memories then?”

Jacob’s lips pressed thin in irritation. “Why is this important? It was years ago and doesn’t have anything to do with our lives today.”

Kyle shrugged and let it drop. “I guess it doesn’t.”

“Then just forget about it.” He wished it was that easy. He rose to his feet and rinsed out his mug before setting it in the sink. “I’m going to get ready for bed. You coming soon?”

“I’ll be there in a little bit. I want to make a list of things we need from the grocery store later this weekend.”

“Okay.” Jacob turned and left the kitchen without looking back. With each step, his mind replayed the memory of that smiling, loving face he used to know as a child. Before the night was over and he finally found sleep, it would go back to every pain and every tear he shed as a child. The confusion, fear and desire to be loved would continue to try and resolve it all just as it has for years with no real conclusion.

Kyle watched him walk out longingly. Over the last few months there had been this gap opening up between them. It had started the night of that fateful DNA test and since then, despite his efforts, Kyle was unable to find a way to bridge that gap. With every attempt to get Jacob to open up about his time with his father, he had been rebuffed. Jacob would get irritated, sometimes angry. Over and over, while they were alone, Kyle tried to get him to deal with his problems. Andy even mentioned that Jacob was showing familiar signs of some unknown trauma. David had even attempted to talk to him, all of it to no avail. Kyle so wished he could have learned more about Joe when they were younger. Before all of this happened. But he had ignored it, because Jacob ignored it. Now it, along with the secret Kyle was keeping, was threatening their relationship.

Kyle finished his tea and jotting down a few ideas for the coming days at work, with a resigned sigh, got up and started turning off the lights and he headed to their bedroom. He had a full day ahead of him and he would need his wits about him as he began the real fight for Josh’s freedom.