The Discovery - 17. Chapter 17

Kyle sat in the meeting room inside the courthouse and waited patiently with Kevin sitting next to him. He was going over his notes and mentally preparing himself for their appearance that was supposed to take place in a few minutes. A glance towards his associate showed Kevin to be sitting and staring at seemingly nothing.

“Nervous,” Kyle asked him casually.

The younger man shook his head. “No. Just wondering.”

“Wondering what?”

Kevin was silent for a moment before he responded. “Just wondering how we’re going to prove Josh’s innocence without someone else to point the finger at.”

Kyle shrugged. “We’re not done gathering evidence. Besides, if we can just get to ‘reasonable doubt’ then we won’t need finger pointing. Would be nice, though.”

“That’s just the thing, though,” Kevin countered. “We don’t really have any evidence to really get to reasonable doubt. Just rumor and conjecture.”

“I know. We have a working theory, of sorts. Something is going to break for us. Have we gotten anywhere with Emma Griffon or Angie Crawford?”

Kevin frowned slightly. “Not yet. Once we get this done, I think we should push to depose them and Mr. Goode.”

Kyle nodded in agreement. “That’ll be first on the agenda. Once we find one of those women though, I want you and Michelle on your way there. Plane, train or car. I don’t care. I’m having Rose calling all of the others to submit affidavits and contact information to give to the prosecutors.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the door to the room opening. Kyle looked up as a bailiff walked in escorting Josh into the room. He was dressed in his new suit, complete with tie and shoes. Michelle did an excellent job of finding something that showed Josh as more than someone who’s spent the last five and a half years in prison. Kyle broke into a smile as he stood, noticing for the first time Josh wasn’t wearing a hat. Now he could see the familiar dark hair color. It was trimmed down to less than an inch but even that made the similarity to Jacob even more apparent.

Josh stood there, looking uncertain and a little embarrassed. “Um. Hi.”

“Bailiff,” Kyle said first. “You can wait outside while I confer with my client.” The man nodded and stepped out with the door closed. He returned his attention to Josh. “You look good. Just remember. Never say anything in here unless the door is closed and there’s no guards or anything in here with us.”

Josh nodded. “I understand. Is everything okay?”

Kyle looked him over again. Even though he was two years his junior, Josh’s quiet and shy appearance made him look even younger. “With you? You look great.”

Kevin muttered into Kyle’s ear, “he looks just like you-know-who.”

Kyle’s smirk widened. A noticeably skinnier, slightly shorter version of Jacob. “Just so you know, this is only going to take a few minutes. I’ll do my best, but I can’t guarantee the best outcome.”

Josh nodded. “I know. You already warned me. When are we starting?”

“Any minute now,” Kevin said. “Just relax and keep quiet except when they ask you how you plead.”

“And when they asked you that, what are you going to say,” Kyle asked.

Without hesitation, Josh answered, “not guilty.”

Kyle nodded. “Just like that. When you say it, say it knowing that it’s already a foregone conclusion. Don’t sound shy or uncertain. This is just an arraignment for bail, but as far as we are concerned, your trial starts today. Okay?”

Josh nodded. “Okay.” He could feel a difference in his life. Kyle was so different from his last lawyer. When he spoke, it was with confidence and conviction. It wasn’t just what was going to happen but knowing that it was going to lead to him walking out of here a free man one day. For the first time in many years, Josh felt a small measure of safety. Someone, this person in front of him, was invested in him and his life. Knowing that gave him courage to lower his guard. He offered Kyle a small smile and said, “this is already better than prison anyway. I can manage in the county jail for however long it takes for this to be over with.”

Kyle nodded. “I’m glad. I don’t want it to happen that way, but with the charges and your situation, it’s likely the judge will deny bail. But I’m going to fight for it anyway.”

“I know you will.” Josh wanted to thank him. For everything, but he couldn’t find the words to describe that everything. Maybe it was best to just wait for whatever came next.

There was a knock at the door before it opened, and the bailiff reappeared. “The judge is ready for you now,” he announced.

Kyle nodded and grabbed his briefcase. Together, they headed out into the hall towards the courtroom. With each step, Kyle felt his conviction harden within him. He didn’t have all the answers and didn’t know half of what he needed to get an easy acquittal, but he knew the answers and ultimately the truth was out there somewhere, and he was going to find it. As they walked in, he could almost feel himself shed everything that wasn’t about the job ahead and a mask falling over his face as he stopped being a husband, father and friend was only Josh Carter’s lawyer and advocate.

The court clerk was standing with a folder in his hand and announced the case number. “Docket number 708 MD 2024, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania versus Joshua Carter.”

The magistrate judge looked up from his bench to Kyle and the others walking up to their place at the defendant’s table and took their seats. “Commonwealth, versus Carter,” the judge began as he read the file handed to him before looking up again. “Murder in the second degree. Counsel for the commonwealth?”

The man standing across the aisle from Kyle rose and nodded. “Adam Jensen for the commonwealth, your honor.”

“Counsel for the defense?”

Kyle stood, prompting Josh and Kevin to rise as well. “Kyle Howard for the defendant, your honor.”

“Are we entering a plea this morning, Mr. Howard,” the judge asked.

“We are sir.”

“Very good. How does the defendant plead?”

“Not guilty,” Josh responded as he practiced in his head during their trip down the hall.

The judge looked up from the sheet in his hands to regard Josh. “So entered.” The judge made a notation on the paper and set it aside. “Mr. Jensen? What is the commonwealth’s position on bail?”

“The commonwealth asks that the defendant be remanded into custody,” Jensen replied. “This is a retrial from a previous conviction. The defendant has been in prison for the last five years and we feel it serves the public best if he remains in custody until the end of the trial.”

The Judge nodded and turned his attention to Kyle. “Mr. Howard?”

Kyle kept his voice measured but for a small hint of sarcasm. “Since the verdict was vacated, it means my client still enjoys an eighth amendment privilege against excessive bail. If he’s being retried, that would suggest he’s still innocent until proven guilty by the commonwealth.”

The judge nodded slightly, though looked totally convinced. “Mr. Jensen?”

The prosecutor looked at the judge with a sardonic expression. “Mr. Howard can quote whatever he likes, your honor. The fact remains that this case is about a heinous crime the defendant committed on his own girlfriend. Due to the nature of the case, plus the defendant having no family or anyone else in the area to ensure he will return for trial, it’s the opinion of the district attorney that he be kept in the county jail until the trial concludes.

The judge nodded and started to put his pen to the paper. “The court appreciates the nod to the Constitution Mr. Howard, however it’s in the public interest the defendant await trial in county jail until such time as we have a trial date.” He paused in his speaking as he finished writing. “Court orders the defendant remanded to Allegheny County jail for the duration of his trial. The bailiff will take Mr. Carter into custody.”

Kyle frowned slightly but accepted the judgement without complaint. He turned to Josh who stood there stoically and nodded in approval before the bailiff came and placed handcuffs on his wrists. “You’ll be alright,” Kyle said quietly to him before they took him away. He was still disappointed, but knew it was likely for the best.

As he and Kevin started to make their way out of the courtroom, they heard the other lawyer call out to them. “Kyle? You got a second?”

Kyle stopped in the hall and turned to regard Adam Jensen for a moment before he shrugged, uncaring as he followed the man down a hallway with Kevin in tow. “How’s it goin’,” Kyle asked casually.

Adam smirked, finding that humorous for some reason. “Well, I won, so I guess I’m good. Wanna talk about a plea bargain?”

“Sure,” Kyle said with more than a little sarcasm. “You drop the charges, and we take our client out to dinner to celebrate.”

Adam chuckled as he stopped and regarded his opponent. “That won’t be happening. But what could happen is I could offer accidental manslaughter. That’s about as low as it gets. He’s already done five and a half years, so the minimum is ten. He’d be out in about two with good behavior at most. At best, the judge says, ‘time served’ and it’s over and done with.”

Kyle stared at him for a moment. “Wait. Let me get this straight. I just said drop the charges and you responded with, ‘how about we just let him go?’”

Adam shrugged. “That was my boss’s orders, not mine,” he responded. “He tried this case the first time. But he figures, the killing was isolated and in the five years he’s been in prison he’s kept his nose clean. We’ll say he did it on accident. Doesn’t have to say anything more specific than that and then we’re done.”

Kyle remained stoic while his mind reeled. This was an offer unheard of. In his years spent in the DA’s office, not once did his boss make an offer like this. “Well, sounds to me like your boss…. What’s his name?”

“Ruiz,” Adam said. “Al Ruiz.”

Kyle nodded slowly. “I see. Well, your boss sounds like a nice guy. But I’ll have to talk to my client first.”

“Why not right now,” Adam offered with a shrug.

His mouth opened slightly in shock which he quickly closed. He didn’t want to give anything away. “Unfortunately, I need to get to a meeting with another client. But I’ll call Josh later and pass on your offer.”

“Alright,” Adam said, sounding like a disappointed salesman. “I’ll keep the offer on the table for two days. How’s that sound?”

Kyle nodded. “Very generous of you. I’ll see you later.” He turned and headed away as quickly as he could walk away from Adam. When he saw Kevin hesitate, he grabbed him by the arm and kept walking. “Don’t look back,” Kyle hissed at him.

“What the fuck?” Kevin couldn’t believe what was going on. “Why didn’t you run to Josh now? That’s the offer of a lifetime!”

“I know it is,” Kyle replied. “It makes no sense. Which means there’s something going on. Something bigger than this.”

“Bigger than a murder?”

Kyle didn’t answer. “We need to get back to the office. I need to look over everything again and figure out what I missed. In the meantime, you and Michelle have got to find Angie Crawford.”

“What about the other girl?”

Kyle shook his head. “I think Angie is the one with the answers to all this. Just don’t make a scene about it. Keep anything you two find out to yourselves and to me.” As they made their way out of the courthouse, his mind whirled with all the possible questions and answers they had yet to find. One thing was for certain. Sharon Ellington’s death was more important that he first realized.

****

Later, after Kyle and Kevin returned to the office, Kyle told Kevin to resume his search for the missing witnesses from Sharon’s last night while he headed to his office. He was halfway down the hall before he stopped in thought. The deal from the DA’s office seemed too good to be true. It was too obvious that there was more to it than just a simple matter of brushing Josh’s guilt under the rug. He detoured and headed to another room, finding the door ajar. When he stepped in, he looked at the desk and found himself relieved to see Monica sitting quietly at her desk, looking down at a set of papers.

“Have you got a minute,” he asked quietly.

She looked up at him and smiled in surprise. “Of course. Was he remanded?”

“Yeah.” He closed the door behind him to give them privacy before he took a seat. “And then… something happened.”

She sat back, putting her pen down and gave him her full attention. “Sounds serious.”

Kyle nodded. “They offered to pretty much let him go.”

Monica’s face became very serious. “What?”

“The ADA offered involuntary manslaughter. Ten years. With his good behavior, it would mean he would pretty much be free to go.”

“If that’s what they wanted to do, then why did they bother to refile the charges?”

“No clue,” he replied. “It just feels…. Weird.”

The corner of her lips tilted slightly. “That’s because it is. The ADA offered this?”

“He said it came from the DA himself.”

She thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. “Well, let the client know and tell him to take the deal.”

Kyle frowned. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter how you feel. You’re his attorney. You are ethically bound to let your client know about the offer and to impress upon him that it’s in his best interests.”

He grimaced slightly. “You’re right. But why would they go through all of this?”

“Two possibilities,” she said. “One; they’re aware of your investigation and it’s possible you will uncover some mismanagement or something else that can get the DA or someone else in a lot of trouble. Or, two… they know he’s innocent but they’re covering for someone else.”

“Like councilman Goode?”

“Maybe,” she said. “I think that would be a bit much. Plus, even if he did do it, you still haven’t found any proof. Right now, all you have is some circumstantial evidence that points to his innocence. So, you both have circumstantial cases with no solid proof. In cases like that, most juries err on the side of caution and convict the defendant.”

Kyle nodded silently. Unless he could find real, exculpatory evidence, Josh stood a chance of going back to prison for the rest of his life. He couldn’t afford to risk that. “I’ll go call Josh. Have him take the deal.” He slowly rose to his feet and started for the door. He paused and turned to ask her, “you have some friends there?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I don’t know this DA very well. He’s been there for the last four years. I was told he was the guy who originally prosecuted Josh.”

She arched an eyebrow, in interest. “Hm. You want me to ask around about him?”

“If you can without it bringing attention to yourself.”

Monica nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks.” He resumed his course out of her office and went to his own. “Rose,” he called into the mic on his desk phone. “Call up the county jail and get Josh on the phone for me, please.”

“Yes, Mr. Howard,” came here standard reply. He sat down and waited as patiently as he could. Within a few minutes his phone buzzed, and he hit the button to hear Rosette say, “Mr. Carter is on line two.”

He picked up the phone and braced himself. “Josh, it’s me. I have some news.”

“That was pretty fast,” Josh said, sounding like he was preparing himself for bad news.

“Yeah.” Kyle took a breath before he went on. “The DA is offering to lower the charges to Involuntary manslaughter.”

“So?”

“So… they say they’ll recommend the minimum, which is ten years. And, since you already served over five, with good behavior… well… you’d be out. It would be over.”

“Wait. So, what you’re saying is… if I agree to this, then I’d be out?”

“Yeah.” A prolonged silence filled the line. Kyle cleared his throat. “Josh. As your attorney, I am duty bound to tell you that this is a very good deal. You will have served your time and you would likely be free to go.”

Josh didn’t say anything right away. When he did, it was with a cautious tone. “And all I’d have to do is plead guilty.”

Kyle nodded. His voice dropped to a quieter tone. “Yeah. You would.”

“Kyle. I didn’t kill her.”

“I know.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Josh, listen—”

“No, you listen.” His voice got a little louder and harder. “You’re married, right? To… to my… to Jacob?”

“Yeah.”

“So, put yourself in my position. If it were Jacob, would you stand there and tell the world you killed him even if you didn’t?”

Kyle sighed. “No. No, I couldn’t.”

“Then you know my answer.”

Kyle smirked slightly. “I knew it before I even called you.”

“I’m sorry,” Josh said with a little less anger. “I wish this were easier.”

“it’s alright,” Kyle assured him. “It’s my job to do what’s best for you. In the end, what’s best for you is getting you out of prison. This deal is the quickest way to that goal.”

“But it’s wrong.”

Kyle smiled and closed his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, it is. And that’s not your lawyer talking to you. That’s your…” He felt so awkward, even though it was technically true. “… your brother-in-law. Josh. I’m going to tell them you turned down their deal. They won’t offer it again. But, no matter what, I’m still going to be here for you. And I’m not giving up on you.”

“That helps. You don’t know how much that helps me get through the day.”

“No, I don’t. What I do know is that you and your brother are both stubborn assholes when you’ve a mind to be.”

Josh laughed. A sound Kyle had never heard before. It was muted and it didn’t last very long, but it was a sound Kyle felt grateful to hear. “Thanks. I think.”

“I need to get back to work,” Kyle said. He was reluctant to finish the call, but knew he had no choice. “I’ll talk to you once I hear more about when the trial will start.”

“Okay. Thanks. For everything.”

“Welcome.” That made it all worth it. For the moment, Kyle felt a sense of peace about how this case was going. All he had to do was believe.

His quiet moment was interrupted when his door opened and Michelle marched in. “What’s this I hear about a plea deal?”

“Forget it,” Kyle said. “Josh already turned it down. Focus on your work. How’s the search for our missing witnesses?”

Michelle sighed in relief. “That’s a relief. I’ve been working all morning looking for Grant Dawson.”

Kyle sat up a little straighter. “You found him?”

“I did,” she said with a self-satisfied smile. “Took me a bit. But then I realized if he got disowned and maybe it was because of a certain former college jock he was sleeping with, I figured to stop looking for Grant Dawson and start looking for Grant Reid. Who, I found an address for in West Hollywood, if you can believe it.”

“Reid?”

She nodded. “Same last name as Rodger. Looks like I got a two-for-one deal. I’m assuming they got married in California. I was getting ready to brief you when Kevin told me about your arraignment and the deal you got.”

Kyle gave her an uncompromising look. “We aren’t accepting any deal other than them dropping the charges. That’s the only deal Josh will accept. Everything else is just a distraction. Once you get in touch with him, you go meet with him and get his statement. Get Rodger’s to, if you can. But this time, you put them on the spot. They either cooperate, or they get hauled back here by the court. Their choice.”

Michelle nodded. “Good. I’m going back and calling everyone we’ve already spoken to. I’m getting them to sign affidavits for when we go into discovery.”

He nodded his approval. “Staff it out. We have a paralegal that can take the affidavits. I’m going to spend most of the day looking over this,” he said as he motioned to the large table on one side of his office where their case is currently gathering. “Tomorrow, I plan on taking a trip to the police and finding all the original investigators.”

“Good,” she said. “There’s still that question of who was going around asking questions and not entering any of the information they got into the file.”

“Yeah,” he said with a hint of sarcasm. “If only that was the only oddity to all this.”

“What did they offer him?”

He pursed his lips, still uncomfortable about it. “A get out of jail free card.”

Michelle blinked in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“Basically, he said if Josh confesses to the crime, they’d let him out of prison.”

She stepped closer to Kyle’s desk as the look of confusion turned to concern. “What did they offer, exactly?”

“Involuntary manslaughter. Ten years. With his good behavior, he’d be out right now, if he took the deal.”

Her look darkened. “You should get him into protective custody.”

That wasn’t what he expected to hear. “Why?”

She hesitated to answer. “There was… a case a colleague of mine had. It was a little bit like this, only the guy had already served fifteen years. It got turned over on appeal. When the defense refused, because they already had the proof of his innocence…” She paused before she finished. “The defendant was found dead in his cell two days later. Turns out, there was a corrupt cop and...” She shrugged helplessly.

Kyle picked up his phone and dialed out. He waited until he got an answer. “This is Kyle Howard. I need to speak to judge Laughlan right away, please.” His eyes went to Michelle while he waited. “Judge Laughlan, this is Kyle Howard. My client, Joshua Carter was in your courtroom earlier today on an arraignment hearing… Yes, sir… I’m calling to ask you to modify your order to include that Mr. Carter be placed in protective custody… I see no reason why the county would deny the order, though you can ask them. However, this isn’t in their purview. I’m asking because I want my client safe for trial while he’s in custody. Yes, sir…” Kyle exhales in relief. “Thank you, your honor. No sir. I will put together a list of people who are authorized to see him and ask that his visitor’s list is restricted to only that list of people. Thank you, Sir.” He hung up the phone and nodded. “The judge agreed to the custody change. He figured, since he was remanded with no violent priors, it was the least he could do.”

Michelle nodded. “Best to keep that list small.”’

He agreed. “Okay. Thanks for the added stress,” Kyle said with a playful smirk. “Now, go get me some evidence.”

Michelle grinned and headed to the door. “Sure. Be right back.”

****

Kyle stood at the large table in his office filled with the gathered information on Josh’s case, staring at it all, as if staring at it long enough would make a solution magically appear. He read over the police report again and went over all the pictures from the crime scene. Went over every report Kevin and Michelle had added in their interviews in the last three months. It was dark out and he knew he was running out of time. Dinner was going to be ready in about an hour and he had to get home and leave all of this behind. In the back of his mind, he knew he would have to talk to Jacob about bringing some work home.

The normal sounds of the office had softened as people had started heading home. He frowned and leaned over the table, looking over all the pictures again. It was hard to admit, but the file had very little compared to any other criminal investigation he had been involved in as an ADA. He was going to have to go to the police station and request their files and compare them to what he has.

Time passed without him noticing. When the door to his office opened, he barely noticed until he heard a voice. “Mr. Howard. You’re going to be late for dinner.”

Kyle sighed. Rose, of course, was right. “I know. I keep looking over all this for something I missed. Just annoying.”

She huffed under her breath as she walked to look at the table next to him. “Not as annoyed as your husband will be if you don’t get moving. What’s all this?”

“Everything I have as far as evidence,” he replied. “For all the good it does me.”

Rose looked over the pictures. She picked the group picture Michelle acquired from one of the witnesses, examining the contents. “This the dead girl,” she asked, pointing to Sharon.

Kyle smirked and glanced at the picture. “The victim, yes.”

She shrugged. “Victim, dead girl. Doesn’t matter what you call it. Dead is dead.” She looked over the girl in the picture before remarking casually, “she had good style. That scarf looks nice. I don’t think I’d wear it that tight around my neck, though.”

Kyle looked at the picture again. “She had money. Probably cost a couple hundred…” His eyes went to the other pictures. The pictures the police took at the crime scene. Sharon’s body lying on the floor. He frowned slightly. “Wait.”

Rose frowned. “Don’t make excuses. Time to go home.”

“No, wait,” he said again as he went over all the pictures. “It’s not there.”

“What?”

“The scarf,” he said as he went over all the pictures again. “She had it at the party, but it wasn’t there when the police were there.”

Rose shrugged. “And?”

“Rose,” Kyle lightly admonished. His excitement started to grow as he started thinking out loud. “She was murdered by asphyxiation. She was strangled. But there were no fingerprints. The killer must’ve used the scarf, and they might have taken it with them.”

Rose let him go on for a moment before she brought him back to reality. “Mr. Howard. If you don’t get going, she won’t be the only person who’s getting strangled.”

Kyle gave her a droll look and finally conceded. “Okay, okay.” He went to grab his coat and briefcase, promising himself he wouldn’t open it until later tonight when everyone else is asleep. “I’m on my way out. Everyone else gone?”

“Mostly,” she said as she escorted him out. “Do you need anything else?”

“Not that I can think of,” he said as he went down the hall. “I want you to start sending emails to the county jail daily to check on Josh’s condition. I’ll give you his ID number tomorrow along with a list of approved visitors.”

She nodded and made a mental note to herself. “Understood. If any press come along wanting information?”

“You don’t have any to give them,” he said evenly. “Keep it that way.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t help you figure out your murder,” she said dryly.

Kyle smirked. “As usual, Rosette, you’re a genius.”

“Remember that when my review comes up. Now, go. I’m locking up.”

“Yes, ma’am. Goodnight.”

Rose kept one eye on him as he walked to the elevator. “Goodnight, Mr. Howard.” Only after he was in, and the door closed, did she believe he was heading home. She sighed, muttering to herself and got her things before locking the door. Anyone left inside would know to lock it again on their way out.

****

Jacob was standing at the stove, getting dinner finished when Kyle came through the door. For a moment, he worried that Kyle would miss dinner, so his sudden arrival brought a smile to his face. “Worked hard today,” he asked as Kyle put his coat up before walking into the kitchen.

“Well, probably not as hard as you did,” Kyle answered as he came up and kissed him on the cheek. “Where’s the boys?”

“Matt’s watching TV and Aaron was upstairs in his room playing last I checked.”

Kyle nodded. A nice quiet evening sounded like a good way to end the day. “How much longer do I have?”

Jacob stepped back and turned to him. “Enough time to get a shower in, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Good,” Kyle sighed in relief. “It was kind of rough today, and I am feeling a little damp in some places.”

He grinned and kissed Kyle on the neck. “I’d offer to help, but I should get the boys moving.”

Kyle chuckled softly and headed to the door. “Maybe later. I’ll be back.”

Jacob watched him go and then checked everything on the stove. It looked fine and could sit there for a few minutes while he got the boys to the table, so he headed down the hall to the front room. “Matt? Dinner’s almost ready.”

Matt had been lying on the couch almost out of sight. When he heard his dad, his head popped up and turned. “Okay.”

“Go wash your hands.” Jacob turned and headed up the stairs for Aaron’s room. The door was open, so he knocked and stepped inside. “Aaron?” He looked around curiously at the seemingly empty room. He didn’t get a response right away, causing his chest to tighten with concern. “Aaron? Where are you?”

A muffled voice replied, “in here.”

Jacob frowned slightly in confusion until he tracked the voice to the closed closet door on the other side of the room. He opened it to find Aaron sitting on the floor with the light on with a tablet in his hands, playing a game. What seemed odd but otherwise normal brought a sense of fear and dread out of Jacob. The moment he saw his son sitting there in the closet, his mind went back to a time when it had been he who was hiding in the closet, doing his best to be as quiet as possible to not attract the attention of his father who had been yelling and thrashing around the house in a drunken rage. The memory of the pain and fear that had gripped him in those moments all came rushing back into his mind and caused his eyes to tear up. Realizing how painful the memory was, he squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them to get his mind back in the present. “Baby, what are you doing in here?”

Aaron looked up at Jacob innocently. “Playing a game.”

“Yeah, I see that.” He swallowed roughly as he continued to fight off the unwanted memories. “I mean, why are you playing your game in the closet?”

Aaron shrugged. “I wanted too.”

Jacob took another moment to take a breath before he reached down and picked Aaron up and held him in his arms. “You never have to hide in a closet from me, you know that, right?”

Aaron giggled at that. “Daddy… I’m not hiding from you.”

“Okay. Well, just… if you’re going to play your game, how about you do it on your bed where you’ll be more comfortable.”

Aaron shrugged again, unconcerned. “Okay.”

Jacob kissed his head. He never wanted to imagine Aaron ever feeling like he used to feel as a child. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

Aaron smiled and put his arms around Jacob’s neck. “I love you to, Daddy.”

“You wanna go wash your hands and come have dinner with us?”

“Sure!” Aaron wiggled himself out of Jacob’s arms and raced out of the room.

Jacob took another moment to just stand there before he felt like he was back to normal. Feeling normal again, he headed back down to the kitchen to finish dinner. By the time Kyle and the boys were at the table, his focus was able to shift to dinner and talking to the boys. With the unwanted thoughts banished, Jacob was able to smile and laugh along with Kyle as Matt recounted his day with his friends and the playful antics they would pull on each other. Aaron was bright and chipper as ever, though towards the end of dinner he asked about talking to Grandpa and Colt.

Kyle looked up at Aaron from his plate thoughtfully. “Well, let me text them first and see if they’re free. Grandpa and Colt spend a lot of time out with their friends down there so they might be busy.”

Aaron nodded, his smile still firmly in place. “Okay. Can we do a video call?”

“I don’t see why not,” Jacob said. “Once we’re done here, then we’ll see if they’re free. You and Matt can use his phone to call.” After his eleventh birthday, Jacob and Kyle had decided to give him his own cellphone. Their only rule was that it couldn’t be used for any numbers beyond what was already put into it. Naturally, his grandfather and other trusted adults he knew were available for him to call in an emergency.

Kyle nodded in agreement, and they finished dinner in relative silence. When he was finished, Jacob got up and started cleaning up. Kyle told Matt to help clean up while he took Aaron into the front room while he contacted David. Jacob and Matt made short work of the dishes and by the time they were walking in to join the others, Kyle had already been texting back and forth with David.

“He and Colt are free,” Kyle announced with a smile.

Jacob nodded. “You want to take them to the study?”

“Sure,” Kyle said as he stood up. “What about you?”

Jacob smiled apologetically. “Tell him I said hi. I’m tired after work and my back is a little sore so I’m going to just lay here for a bit.”

“Okay.” He stopped to give Jacob a kiss on the cheek before he led Matt and Aaron out of the room.

With a grateful sigh, Jacob laid down on the couch. He grabbed the remote, turned the channel to a sitcom and just let himself relax and get lost in the show. It had been a long day for him, he admitted to himself. The physical strain on his body was getting more noticeable over the last year or so. That fact upset him in a small way. He always felt he kept himself in good shape all his life. It was something he learned to do a long time ago. Before Kyle and the others were a part of his life, Jacob learned all the ways he could avoid being at home. Either working out at the school gymnasium or just wandering around, trying his best to stay out of trouble. An early lesson for him was that his father wasn’t the only person who would want to harm him. There were other kids who would do the same if they saw him and sensed weakness or if he just looked different. He learned very early to either look big enough to intimidate or how to get away if necessary.

Unbidden, his mind wandered back to the sight of Aaron sitting on the floor of his closet. How many times had he done the same when he was a kid? Whenever he managed to come back home before his dad, he would grab the quickest thing to eat and then retreat to his bedroom. Once he heard his father’s car approaching the house, he would snuff out the light and retreat to his closet. Usually, Joe would be too drunk to care, or even notice. That suited Jacob just fine. For most of his teenage years, it had felt like a constant struggle to survive. Some days were better than others.

Now Jacob was getting angry as the memories of his father kept rolling over and over inside his mind. From the wonderful, smiling handsome man he remembered loving him all the way to the drunken, bitter slob he had become. He closed his eyes and willed his father to leave him alone. To go back to hell where he belonged. Wasn’t it bad enough he had to show up in Jacob’s dreams and now he was inserting himself in his waking moments. That ever-present sliver of guilt still lodged in the memory of their last meeting began to insert itself and that day started to play over again in his mind. “God, I hate you,” he muttered darkly to himself. He turned the channel just to hear something different, hoping that would banish the thoughts.

Half an hour and five channels later, his attention was diverted by the sound of Matt and Aaron running down the hall. He looked up at them as they walked in, smiling happily as Kyle joined them a moment later. “Dad says ‘hi’,” Kyle told him.

Dad. David. His real dad. The memory and the pain vanished from his thoughts. Jacob smirked. “They having fun?”

Kyle smirked. “Yeah, but they enjoyed talking to the boys for a bit.” He moved to join Jacob on the couch. “What are you watching?”

“Not sure,” he replied.

Kyle looked up into his eyes. “Just zoning out tonight?”

“Something like that.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

Jacob met his gaze dismissively. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Do you want to go ahead and go to bed? I can get the boys to sleep on my own, if you want.”

Jacob put his arm around Kyle’s waist and squeezed him affectionately. “No, I’ll be fine. Let’s just enjoy a normal night at home.” In his mind, he wished Matt knew how lucky he was. Being ten years old and not having to worry about the things Jacob had to worry about at his age. He sighed and forced his mind to pay attention and stop dwelling on the past. Wasn’t that part of the agreement he made with Kyle years ago? To let go of their bitter memories of the past. It had been over six months now since that stupid DNA test. That’s when the dreams started, and his mind would dwell on things he would rather forget.

Kyle kept his eyes on the television and maintained a calm gaze as his eyes wandered to the side so he could check on Matt and Aaron. He was relieved to see that they were both occupied with the television. Not that there was much of a chance they would notice what he was noticing. It had been years, long before they were ever married, since Kyle had felt Jacob’s arms tense and relax over and over. He spared a glance up at his husband, but Jacob’s face remained passive as he relaxed, keeping a loose hold on Kyle.

A few hours later, after putting Aaron to bed and checking in on Matt, the two of them made their way into their bedroom. Kyle watched out of the corner of his eye while Jacob undressed and climbed into bed before turning off the lights and joining him. He laid down flat on his back and closed his eyes to get comfortable. A moment later, he felt Jacob gently press against him, laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to the crook of Kyle’s neck and shoulder. “Sweetheart?” Jacob’s left leg and arm draped over Kyle’s right thigh and over his chest as he took a big inhale as if absorbing Kyle’s scent before letting out a contended sigh.

“I miss doing this with you,” Jacob whispered softly.

Indeed, it had been so long since they slept this close to each other, Kyle couldn’t remember the last time. He vaguely remembered a night a few years ago and having something to do with Tanner. “Well, you’re always welcome to get as close as you want, darling,” Kyle responded softly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Jacob closed his eyes, remembering how safe he felt when he held Kyle at night. Nothing could hurt him. No one could take this most beloved person from him. Memories of years going without him were clouded with booze and pain, mixed with fear and self-loathing. All that disappeared that first night after he and Kyle first made love when he returned home. He was made whole again. “I’m fine now. I just… I love you so much.”

Kyle smiled and kissed his forehead gently. “Well, I love you too. As much as I did the first time I told you.”

Jacob smiled and closed his eyes. His hand squeezed Kyle a little tighter. “We need to go dancing soon.”

Kyle liked that idea. “The second I am done in court; you and I are going to go somewhere we can dance the night away.”

“Good.” Jacob sighed contentedly and, after a few more breaths, drifted off to sleep.