The Discovery - 21. Chapter 21

Tanner quietly watched the back and forth play out between his dad and Brian before Andy headed out of the house. All he heard was something about Matt and his dad sounding like he normally did whenever he was in a take-charge kind of mood. When Tanner noted the worried look on Brian’s face, he lost interest in the movie they were watching and turned his attention to his stepfather. “What’s up?”

Brian sighed as his face showed concern. “Not sure. Your dad had to go out to the orchard.”

Tanner found that odd this late in the evening. “Okay. Is something wrong?”

Brian shrugged, trying to look casual, but Tanner could see the uncertainty in his eyes. “I guess we’ll find out eventually.”

Half an hour later, Tanner heard the front door open which was followed by the sounds of multiple people entering the house. Without being prompted, he got up from his spot and followed Brian up the stairs to find his dad with Matt and Aaron but no sign of Uncle Jacob or Kyle. “We having a sleep over tonight,” he asked curiously.

“Looks like,” Andy said as he helped Aaron out of his jacket. He glanced up at Brian and said, “sorry, but poker night will have to wait.”

Brian stood in the doorway and smirked slightly. “No problem. Some other time.” He turned his attention to Matt. “Hey, sweetie. Blake is downstairs watching a movie. You want to go hang out with him?”

Matt nodded. To Brian, he looked like he was under stress. For a child so young, Brian felt that was the last thing he needed. “Should I put my pajamas on first?”

Brian shook his head and remained smiling. “No need. You can do that when you start to get tired.” He moved to make a path towards the stairs. “Go on downstairs. Andy and I will get you guys some snacks to eat.”

Tanner watched Matt almost reluctantly move to the stairs with his head slightly down. He frowned with worry and looked at Brian once Matt was out of hearing. “What’s going on?”

Brian nodded to Andy. “I suspect he has all the answers.”

“Tan,” Andy began as stood with Aaron at his side, “why don’t you take Aaron downstairs while I talk to Bri for a second.”

Tanner nodded and motioned for Aaron. “Hey, buddy. Let’s go see what Matt and Blake are watching.”

Aaron cautiously stepped forward and let Tanner take his hand, guiding him down the stairs. He looked up at Tanner and asked in his innocent voice, “why were my daddies yelling?”

Tanner blinked in surprise at the question. “Uh… I don’t know. But it’ll be okay. You can sit with me, and we can watch some movies. Are you hungry?”

“No,” the little boy replied. “When am I going home?”

Tanner didn’t have an answer for that as they entered the den and went over to sit on the couch together. Instead of putting Aaron with Matt and Blake, he opted to pull Aaron onto the couch with him. Laying down on his side and putting his arms around the little boy. “You’ll go home when I say you go home,” he muttered in a mock threatening tone before playing fully tickling his side.

Aaron giggled and settled on his side with Tanner. Once his attention shifted to the movie on the television screen, his cares slowly melted away. While Aaron was distracted by the movie, Tanner strained his ears to hear what his parents were discussing upstairs.

“Well, what were they yelling about?”

“I don’t know. My job was to take the boys out of the house. Troy is the one who stayed and played referee.”

“I should go over there.”

“Not tonight, honey. Let them be for now. Go over in the morning. Check up on Jacob and make sure he’s staying dry.”

“God, I didn’t even think about that!”

“I’m sure he’s fine. But doesn’t hurt to check. For right now, let’s just focus on the boys. Matt’s scared and Aaron is confused about what’s going on. Best thing for us to do tonight is to keep them calm. We’ll handle the big babies tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

Tanner wasn’t sure what to make of what he overheard, but he knew his dad was smart. If Aaron needed to be kept calm, then he decided he would be the one to do it. His eyes went over to Blake and Matt. The two of them were sitting close together and Matt’s head was leaning on Blake’s shoulder. His brother was closer to Matt than he was, so Tanner decided to let Blake take care of him. Unconsciously, Tanner tightened his hold on Aaron as he returned his attention to the movie.

Brian and Andy came down into the den and looked at the scene in front of them. Andy’s attention focused on Tanner as he was holding Aaron close to him. A feeling of pride swelled up in his chest and he made a mental note to have a talk with his older son after this was all over. Brian nudged Andy and grinned slightly at the sight before the two of them joined the boys, acting as if everything was completely normal.

Hours later when bedtime came, Tanner let Aaron go so that Andy could get him changed into his pajamas. “Hey, Dad?” He rose from his spot on the couch as Andy picked up a sleepy Aaron.

“Hm?”

“Why not just let Aaron sleep in my room tonight?”

Andy turned his full attention to his son. That was not the suggestion he expected to hear being made by Tanner. “Really?”

Tanner nodded. “Sure. It’ll be fine. He won’t take up much space on the bed.” When Andy stared at him for a moment without speaking, he added with a hint of sarcasm, “I promise not to roll over on him.”

“Well, if you want to…”

“I do,” he said with a confident nod.

“Go on upstairs and get ready then,” Andy said. “I’ll get him changed and drop him off when I’m done.” He carried Aaron up to his room where he and Brian had stored the boys’ bags. “Alright, little man, let’s get you changed into your pjs.”

Aaron’s heavy-lidded eyes looked up at Andy as he started to gently tug his shirt off. “Are there monsters here?”

Andy chuckled silently. “Nope. They wouldn’t be quiet, so I threw them all out.”

The little boy looked at him and let out a fatigued grunt as he was getting changed. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Andy said. “I’m a marine. We don’t put up with monsters in this house.” He helped Aaron step out of his pants and into his pajamas before pulling them up for him. After slipping his top on, Andy patted him gently on the back and looked him in the eye. “Nothing is going to hurt you tonight, I promise.”

Aaron’s lips tugged down and Andy feared he was going to have an outburst. “I miss grandpa.”

“I know for a fact your grandpa misses you too,” Andy assured him before giving him a warm kiss on the cheek. “Now, are you okay sharing a bed with Tanner tonight?” The boy nodded and Andy felt relieved there were no tears. Better for Kyle and Jacob too, he thought to himself. If the boys started getting so upset that they cried, he would make sure they would hear about it. He loved his friends deeply, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a problem reading them the riot act if they needed it. “Let’s go then.” He took Aaron’s hand and led him across the hall to Tanner’s room.

Tanner was standing in the room in a long shirt and a pair of Andy’s old gym shorts underneath. “Ready when you are, little guy,” he said cheerfully.

Andy helped Aaron into bed and let him find a comfortable spot before he leaned over with a smile. “Goodnight, little man. I’ll make a nice big breakfast for you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay.” Aaron closed his eyes and turned over on his side.

Andy got up and went up to Tanner. Putting his hand on the back of his son’s neck, he pulled his head in close to his and kissed him tenderly on the head before whispering, “you never stop surprising me.”

Tanner smiled, taking it as the compliment it was meant to be. “Thanks. I’ll look after him tonight.”

And he did. He lay in bed next to Aaron and listened to his breathing until Tanner was sure he was asleep. When he slowly came awake the next morning he cautiously turned and saw Aaron still sleeping peacefully. Tanner let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes again, listening to Aaron as he breathed in and out. It wasn’t long before Tanner knew he would need to go to the bathroom. Slowly extracting himself from the bed, hoping to not jostle it too much and wake Aaron up, Tanner tiptoed his way across the hall into the bathroom.

Andy woke up at the sound of the bathroom in use. He nudged Brian softly to wake him up. When his husband’s eyes opened, he smirked and leaned over to kiss him softly before slowly pulling himself out of bed. When he saw Brian’s eyes opened slightly, Andy whispered softly, “I’m going to go make coffee and then start breakfast.”

He received the typical Saturday morning grunt from his lover and chuckled silently. Andy got out of bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt before stepping out of his bedroom and heading downstairs to the kitchen. Going through the usual motions, he began the coffee and then started putting together ingredients for breakfast. While cracking eggs and stirring them in a bowl, his thoughts went to Kyle and Jacob. He never heard back from Troy the night before about what had happened and made a mental note to call him later in the morning to find out what had started the fight to begin with. Matt had not been aware of the initial cause, only giving him bare details about what he saw. He did not want to further Matt’s anxiety by asking more questions, so he had to accept that he would have to wait. Andy could only hope that with the new dawn, Matt’s concerns would be easier for him to deal with.

No sooner had the coffee finished brewing than Brian appeared in the kitchen, dressed and ready for the day, looking as if he was anything but the cranky morning person he usually was. “Any news,” Brian asked as he moved to the coffee pot.

Andy loved Saturday mornings when the boys slept in later and it gave the two of them a chance to be their old selves, before the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood had interrupted their free-spirited days. He awarded Brian with an incredulous smirk. “I’ve been up five seconds longer than you. Check CNN.”

Brian gave him his usual impish smile. “Just curious. And what I want to know isn’t on CNN.”

“Yeah, well, keep that mostly to yourself for now. Don’t want to be talking about it in front of the boys.” He turned to start getting pancake batter ready for when the boys started to filter down to the kitchen.

“Or…” Brian countered with a hint of mischief. “…I go call Troy and ask him.”

Andy motioned with his arm towards the doorway. “Have at. He should be up by now since he has a seven-year-old.”

Brian started for the door and then stopped. “Speaking of; have you checked on Tanner and Aaron?”

“No,” Andy answered. “I heard Tanner in the bathroom earlier, but I’m betting he went back to bed.”

Brian smirked. “I’ll go check.” He resumed walking out of the kitchen and went up the short flight of stairs up to where the bedrooms in the house were located. Once he got to his room and retrieved his cellphone, he made his way to the door to Tanner’s room. Carefully, in case they were asleep, Brian slowly opened the door and peaked in. What he saw from the dim light of morning filtering through the blinds made his face break into a warm smile and his heart swell in his chest.

Tanner had indeed gone back to bed after visiting the bathroom. When he crawled back into bed, he laid down on top of the blankets. Aaron was curled up in a ball, blissfully asleep to Brian’s eyes, while Tanner’s taller body was wrapped around him with one arm draped over the sleeping child. Brian never considered a twelve-year-old boy would be so dedicated as he appeared that Brian felt compelled to take a picture of it to preserve the moment. Brian stood in the doorway for another moment, almost unable to look away. Finally, his need to report back to Andy overcame his compulsion to stay in place and he quietly closed the door and rejoined his husband in the kitchen.

Andy was leaning against the counter with his coffee mug in hand when he saw Brian reappear with a glowing smile on his face. He smirked slightly. “What’s that look for?”

Brian stepped up to him, picking up the coffee mug he left behind and opened his phone to retrieve the picture he just took to show Andy. “If you’re aiming for having the perfect kid, you’re doing better than most.”

Andy leaned his head to look at what was on Brian’s screen. His smirk broadened as he shook his head slowly in disbelief. “That boy of mine.”

Brian kissed the side of his head. “He’s definitely not a boy anymore, sweetie. That there is a young man. More responsible than we were at his age, that’s for sure.”

His smile became more wistful before he finally conceded, “yeah. Guess we need to let him stay up an extra hour on school nights now.”

Brian put the phone down and had a drink of his coffee. “They’re all going to be young men before you know it. Sometimes I can’t believe it.”

Andy nodded. “Sooner than you want it to happen.” He took a drink and added as an afterthought, “send that picture to Troy. Maybe that’ll get him to spill the beans on the Howard situation.”

Brian dutifully sent the picture on with a smirk on his lips. Before they could say anything else, they heard the sound of a bedroom door opening and knew it was time to be parents again.

 

****

 

Kyle stood alone in the darkened kitchen as he waited for the coffee pot to finish brewing. He entertained the idea of just making a cup for himself but thought better of it. Jacob would be up soon and the least he could do to show his willingness to maintain their fragile relationship from falling apart was to have coffee ready for him when he came down. Once he filled his mug, he stood silently at the window of the sink that looked out over the orchard. It was still mid-March and while the temperatures had begun to warm, there was still another month at least before leaves would begin sprouting on the branches again. Right now, the orchard looked like a shadowy, lonely creature that was reaching out in all directions for something to save it. Under the overcast skies, he was saddened to look at it.

In his mind, he went over all the things that needed to get done before the warmer days returned and the trees needed tending. The amount of fertilizer, checking the weather for how much rain would be expected and irrigation pipes that would need to be laid out if they were needed. All of it culminating in the opening of the orchard in August when the apples will be ripe for picking. Then thoughts of Josh and what he had experienced slowly ebbed their way into the mix. No family, few friends and no hope. Kyle could almost feel that he was close to what he needed to set Josh free. All he needed was something else. Some tangible piece of proof to put the real story of Sharon Ellington’s murder together. He hadn’t checked his email since he came home last night. Maybe he would find something there.

As he was deciding to wait in the kitchen or go check his email in his room, he heard a door open upstairs. He listened as the footsteps moved about and heard a door close. Within seconds, the sound of running water filled the silence in the house. Kyle’s first compulsion was to go upstairs and wait for him at the door. But logic won out, reasoning that doing so would likely only aggravate things further. Just as with his murder investigation, he would have to be patient. Minutes ticked by as the sound of the water continued to flow. Kyle briefly wondered if Jacob had brought fresh clothes up with him last night. He could not remember, with everything else that had happened.

With a reluctance akin to avoiding a painful wound, Kyle mentally went over what Jacob had said to him and about him while Troy sat there between them. Specifically, the things Jacob said about him not being around. Through the anger and bitterness in Jacob’s voice, Kyle heard a genuine note of sadness in his words. And, while Kyle was loathe to admit it, Jacob had a point.

All through the two years that he had worked on the class action lawsuit, Kyle had to travel all around the area, sometimes hundreds of miles away, to track down potential claimants and get them to join the lawsuit. It had been exhausting after he discovered just how bad the situation was. Starting as a simple suit for medical expenses soon ballooned and expanded until he wasn’t just representing one person but hundreds of people. The drive to seek justice for people who had been neglected and ignored for years drove him. It had drained his time and his savings. When he was running out of funds to continue his investigation, he had talked his father into mortgaging the orchard in the hopes that it would be enough to see him through to a win. Having that added stress to succeed only spurred him on more so that he was sometimes away for months as he traveled around, finding and meeting with people, using everything he had to get people to trust in him that he would get them the settlements that they deserved. More than a few times, he slept in his car to save the expense of a hotel room. And through all that, he managed to hire new attorneys to pick up the slack of the growing number of smaller cases that were being neglected in the area.

The cost of all that effort had been missed birthdays, the start of the school year and a husband who had felt left behind. When Josh’s case fell into his lap, he had managed to grow his firm enough that he could delegate much of the footwork so he could stay in the area and be the father he thought he should be. But even then, hours of interviews, meetings and planning out a defense strategy wore on his time and made him miss a few responsibilities. And in all that, Jacob had suffered in silence. But Kyle also somewhat resented his attitude. If they were supposed to be married and free to share everything in their lives, why was Jacob always shutting the door to his past from him? It wasn’t enough to just share all the good things in their lives together. Jacob needed to be honest with him as well. It couldn’t just flow in one direction. And that inconsistency is what fueled this fight between them.

Kyle heard the water shut off and checked his urge to retreat from the kitchen. Soon enough, he heard Jacob come down the stairs and head to the back of the house to their rooms. He waited another moment and then went that way as well. When he walked in, Kyle saw Jacob with his back turned to him. He had already put on a fresh pair of underwear and was looking for clothes to put on. Kyle stood there silently, giving him a chance to see him before he said anything.

When Jacob finished getting dressed, he turned towards the door and stopped short when he saw Kyle standing there. He stared at him silently. There was no anger in his eyes. No frown. His body was relaxed and seemed normal. Yet, there was something missing. It took Kyle a moment to realize that his eyes were different. The happy, positive and loving eyes that he so often took for granted were dull and devoid of any emotion. As if it had all drained out of him. Jacob neither moved nor spoke until Kyle finally felt the need to speak. “I made coffee, if you want some,” he said quietly, raising his own mug in his hand as if to show proof.

Jacob stared at him, unsure of what to do or say. He managed to eke out a quiet, “thanks,” before carefully moving to the door. Kyle moved aside to leave a clear path for him to the kitchen. Jacob silently stepped in and poured his coffee, wishing that it would all just go away. What the “it” was exactly he wasn’t sure. The only thing he knew was what they were doing was not working out the way they had planned or dreamed. As he drank his coffee, his mind replayed the vague recollections of the dream he had last night. The disturbing dream where he was holding an infant Aaron in his arms while his father sat across the room staring at him. Jacob could remember Joe’s mouth moving but no sound coming out. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to hear what his father had to say. But whatever it was remained beyond his ability to comprehend. With that dream, some feelings that were long buried had resurfaced since that damned test. All the opportunities Jacob had to reconcile with his estranged father before his death and Jacob had been too angry or too drunk to take advantage of them. Maybe a part of him had thought there would always be another chance. Another moment when the anger and the pain in his heart would ease enough to allow him to listen.

But then he ran out of chances. And Jacob used all that hurt, all that anger and resentment to bury his guilt of the missed opportunities to reconnect with his father. His real father. Not the man who had had his soul consumed by alcoholism. The father that had loved him and cared about him. The man who he remembered being held in his arms as a boy. The pain of that loss remained buried under his own trials with addiction along with all the good memories he chose to pretend never happened.

Kyle stepped into the kitchen and watched Jacob grasp the edge of the counter and lean over. His compassion won out over all his other feelings as he spoke. “Jacob, please tell me we can talk about all of this?”

The sound of Kyle’s voice helped Jacob pack away all his pain and grief. “Kyle… I really don’t want to talk right now. I just want to be alone.”

Hurt by the flatness of his voice, Kyle choked down his emotions and nodded his head. “Okay. Well, I’ll be here all day if you change your mind.”

Jacob didn’t turn to look at him. He couldn’t. He didn’t know if he could trust himself to look at Kyle in that moment while he could still feel his emotions so close to the surface. Like a frayed wire that could spark and ignite at any moment. “I have a delivery to make today. I should be back in the afternoon.”

Kyle’s concerns for Jacob rushed back into his heart. “By yourself?”

“No,” he replied.

Kyle nodded, hoping he was telling the truth. “Alright then. I’ll still be here.”

Jacob said nothing more as he went to pull his boots on that he kept near the back door. He quickly finished his coffee, grabbed his coat and keys and stepped out into the chill morning air. Mentally drained, Jacob quickly got in his truck and drove to his shop. He let himself in and went to the tiny office that he rarely used and waited for the other movers to arrive. That there was a delivery to make today had been true. What Jacob had not told Kyle was that there were several hours before he had to get it done. Tired from all the stress and boiling emotions inside him, Jacob sat down at the desk, laid his head down and silently wept as he felt his world falling down around him.

 

****

 

Brian and Andy sat on the couch in their living room and stared in disbelief at Troy who was sitting on the chair nearby after he had just informed him of what happened at the orchard after Andy had left. “You have got to be shitting me,” Brian said. “He’s been holding out about Jacob’s brother since October?!”

Troy nodded. “Yup. And I guess Jacob somehow found out on his own a few days ago. When he confronted Kyle about it…” He waved his hands helplessly.

Andy sighed. “This… this is not good. What do we do?”

Brian frowned darkly. “We should go over there and bitch smack Kyle for hiding something so important from Jacob. Come to think of it, he was hiding it from us too. How the hell does he keep a secret that good?”

Andy shook his head. “Well, he has practice, being a lawyer and keeping shit to himself. Unlike some people I know.”

Brian shot him a wounded look that was immediately followed by a smirk. “Yeah, yeah. Can we all agree that Kyle crossed a line? I mean, he started this, really.”

“We don’t know all the facts,” Troy said. He sighed and went on. “I don’t want us all to start fighting about this. They’ll work it out. Somehow.”

Andy nodded in agreement. “In the meantime, they can rant and rave all they want, but the boys stay here until they get their act together. I’ll call their mom, if I have too.”

“Maybe I should call her now,” Brian wondered aloud. “I mean, I know nominally, Matt and Aaron are Kyle and Jacob’s kids. But she still has some say, I think. If anything, maybe she can talk them down.”

Troy shrugged. “It’s worth considering. Go ahead and call her. See what she thinks.” He asked Andy his next question. “How are the boys?”

Andy gave him a half-smirk. “They’re fine. Matt seems more concerned, but he woke up today ready to eat and was playing games with Blake soon after. Aaron has been totally fine. He asked some questions last night but since then, he’s just having fun with Tanner.”

That was at least one bright spot in all of this to put Troy’s mind at ease. “If they need anything from the house, one of us should get it. Might sound bad, but I just don’t want them around their dads when they’re fighting. It’s not something they should be exposed to.”

Andy nodded. “They’ll be fine. We can check up on them later and see if they’ve settled down if we don’t hear from them by tonight.”

With nothing much left to say on the situation, Troy went back home while Andy and Brian went about their tasks.

 

****

 

Kyle spent the morning after Jacob left sitting around the house. Part of him knew he should at least be working on Josh’s case, but his mind refused to stay focused on the task. For most of the afternoon, he laid on the couch and wondered what Jacob was doing and hoping he was staying safe. As he lay on the sofa, he heard the sound of his phone ringing over the noise from the TV. Kyle hurried through the house to grab it before it was too late, expecting to see Jacob or Andy’s names on the screen.

When he answered it, he was a little surprised by who it was. “Hey.”

There was a slight pause before the familiar female voice came through. “Kyle, didn’t I warn you about things blowing up in your face?”

Kyle sighed. “Yeah. You did.”

Stephanie’s voice was admonishing while also sympathetic. “I got a call from Brian earlier. Told me that you and Jacob have been going rounds. In front of our children, no less?”

Kyle slowly walked back to the front room as he talked to her. He was starting to realize that all of this was having a bigger impact than he thought. “Andy came and picked them up last night. And yeah… yeah, we kind of started yelling at each other in front of the boys.”

A sliver of annoyance rang in her voice over the phone. “Well, thank God for Andy. Last thing I want, and I would think you and Jacob could both agree with me, that whatever disagreements you have with each other should not include terrorizing Matthew or Aaron.” She sighed as if letting out all of her pent-up displeasure. “How are you?”

“Just… confused,” he replied. “I knew to expect him to get upset about it when this first started. But I wasn’t prepared for how much anger and resentment he had.”

“Truthfully, how long have you two been fighting?”

“A couple days now,” he confessed.

“That’s not normal for you two,” she said with displeasure. “How goes the case?”

He shrugged as he sat back down on the sofa. “As well as can be expected. We have a new suspect. Still trying to gather evidence but it’s only a matter of time I think.”

“Who’s the new suspect?”

He sighed, wondering if this conversation was a good idea. “I’m not sure I should say. It’s a pretty prominent person in the area.”

“Oh?” The shift in her tone went from casual interest to very curious. “Do tell. Anyone I would know?”

“A city councilman in Pitt.”

“Oh my. You do have a problem then, don’t you?”

Kyle shook his head. “It’s just… I need some more solid proof. Right now, all I have is some vague innuendos and circumstantial evidence. I need to dig deeper into him. Which isn’t easy when you don’t really know what you’re looking for. Plus, I could run into bigger problems when you take into account that his dad is a state senator.”

“Give me his name. Maybe I can ask around about him,” she offered.

“His dad’s name is Robert. Robert Goode.”

“Oh. I know him,” she said in mild surprise. “I just met him the other night. Kind of… weird. But he’s a politician so you can’t be one hundred percent sure he’s just not talking bullshit with every other syllable.”

Kyle’s frown deepened at her opinion. “Well… I’ll deal with that in the office on Monday. Right now, all I’m worried about is Jacob.”

“I know you are, sweetie,” she said sympathetically. “He’ll come around; I promise. And then you can have some really nice make-up-sex and you’ll be back to work firing on all cylinders.”

Kyle closed his eyes as a wave of emotions flowed over him. He really wished what Stephanie said would come true, but right now, all he could think about was how broken it all feels. “Thanks.” The muffled sound of a truck engine was approaching the house. “Hey, I need to go,” Kyle said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “He’s back so I guess we can try talking again.”

“Okay,” she replied. “As a lawyer, my advice would be to just give him whatever he wants.”

He managed to smile at that. “I’ll keep it in mind. Bye.” He ended the call and worked to regain his outward composure. Like pulling in every direction at once to cover up his fears and worries so that he could have a conversation without falling apart at the seams.

He remained sitting on the sofa in the front room, not wanting to appear to be hounding him or ready to jump him to resume another round of yelling. The only thing Kyle wanted was to give Jacob whatever comfort or agreement he wanted. He listened as the back door finally opened followed by slow, measured steps, like a thief sneaking in. Kyle felt his heart tug inside his chest and new tears threatened to break his outer calm. Slowly, the sound of Jacob’s boots came closer until he came into view, with his hands in his pockets and his head tilted down. It appeared that Jacob was originally heading towards the back of the house but paused as he noticed Kyle in the front room. He stood there for a second before turning and walking slowly towards the doorway to the front room and stopping.

Kyle never took his eyes off Jacob as he remained standing there for a protracted moment of silence. “Jacob… can we talk?”

Jacob didn’t answer. Instead, he slowly stepped to the other side of the room and took a seat on the other sofa. When he looked at Kyle, it was with a guarded, almost dejected face that stared back at him. To Kyle’s eyes, he looked the same as he did twenty years ago when they first met. The quiet, shy and sullen teenager who felt he wasn’t worthy of being loved or wanted. “Go ahead,” Jacob finally said quietly.

Kyle knew at this moment he was fighting for everything. His life, Jacob’s life, their marriage and probably more. He had to do whatever he could to save it all now before it was too late. If it was not already too late. “I heard what you said last night. And you had every reason to say it. I have been unfair with taking you for granted when I have been working. And I am sorry that I haven’t given you the kind of time and attention that I’m only just now realizing you were needing.” Kyle watched Jacob’s face to gauge his reaction. While he didn’t seem to be improving, he was at least not frowning or arguing, which he took as a positive step. “I’ve thought about this all day and if me quitting my job and just staying home is what it will take to fix what’s broken between us, then I’m prepared to do that.”

Jacob’s lips tugged down slightly hearing that. With an exasperated shake of his head, he replied, “Kyle… that’s not what I want. And even if I did, I know I may as well just ask you to cut your heart out of your chest. Your job is part of who you are. I don’t want you to give up your life just to satisfy me.”

Kyle closed his eyes to remain calm. Now he was just confused. “If that’s true, then please tell me what it is you want.”

With his elbow resting on the arm of the sofa, Jacob rested his hand over his lips as he stared at the floor between them. Like a chasm that seemed to keep growing no matter what either of them said. “I don’t know. What I wanted was to be a part of your life. Your whole life, not just part of it. And in the last few years, it feels like a part of you went away and nothing I can do will bring you back. I’m not the smartest person, I know. But the fact that you feel you can just blatantly keep months’ worth of what you’ve been doing from me… keeping Josh a secret like you have been. Sharing just bare bones and probably thinking how clever you were to keep what was really going on from me, just makes me feel like you don’t value me on some level. And, after thinking about it, I realize I just have to live with knowing that I can’t have that part of you.” His voice trembled for a moment. “That hurts having to accept it, but that’s what I have to do in order to get past all of this.”

Kyle shook his head. “It’s not that I don’t value you, Jacob. I love you. When I first started in on this, I was doing it for you. Just looking into Josh’s story and making sure he was who the file said he was. But then things changed. I realized he was a lot more and he had been alone and forgotten for so long. You remember how that feels, don’t you? Before we met? Before you started spending your time with me in high school? Well, Josh never had someone like me to pull him out of that loneliness when he was a kid. It was only after he hit rock bottom that he met someone who would love him. And then she was taken from him. Murdered. That would have been bad enough, but to make it worse, he was accused of being the person who killed her.” He leaned forward slightly and added, “put yourself in his place. If someone had killed me and you were left accused, how would that have made you feel?”

Jacob frowned with a hint of anger at being compared to that person. “So, you believe he’s innocent.”

Kyle nodded. “He’s spent five years in prison for a crime he never committed. I know he didn’t do it. I know I can prove it by the time I go to trial. But that would be easier if I knew that doing this wouldn’t mean losing you in the process.”

Jacob smirked wryly. “As if I had anywhere else to go.” He got up and headed back to the kitchen.

Kyle frowned and followed him. “What do you mean? Are you saying you’re ‘trapped’ in this marriage?”

Jacob stood near the back door and removed his boots. “No. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying I wish you had done what I had asked at the start of all this bullshit and not gotten involved in this Josh person’s life.”

Kyle stood next to the counter, wishing Jacob would stop throwing Josh at him like that. “He’s not just a person. He’s your brother.”

“No,” Jacob exploded as his eyes flashed blue fire. He marched up to Kyle and glared at him with only inches between them. "He is not my brother. I have three brothers! Their names are Andy, Brian and Troy. Stop pretending that he and I have anything in common!”

Kyle’s anger rose up, forgetting his composure. “Why are you so determined to pretend like the truth that you have a brother is a lie?! What is it that you hate so much about him that you have to push him away before you’ve even met him?”

Jacob roared, “it’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever set eyes on him!”

He was readying a retort when Kyle was interrupted by the sound of the backdoor opening. He looked over Jacob’s shoulder and nearly swallowed his tongue.

David Howard stepped into the kitchen staring at his sons with a mixture of surprise, annoyance and authority. The door closed behind him, and Colt appeared to his right, casting a baleful expression at the two of them. “What is going on in my house,” David asked in a disarmingly quiet tone. Kyle and Jacob said nothing as they remained slack jawed and stunned at his sudden appearance. They hadn’t expected David to return for weeks. When he didn’t get any response, David’s face hardened, and a glint of parental anger showed in his eyes. He did not raise his voice, but the steel edge in it reinforced who the true master of the house was. “I asked a question!”

Kyle and Jacob both flinched slightly and drew away from each other. “Dad,” Kyle began, not sure of where to begin or what to say.

David was having none of their excuses. He moved to the table and yanked out a chair before pointing to Jacob. “You.” He pointed to the chair. “Sit. And you stay there until I say otherwise.” Jacob reluctantly moved to obey as David turned his attention to his son. “You. In my study. Right now.”

“But… Dad…”

“I said now!” David marched ahead down the hall not even bothering to see if Kyle was following or not because he already knew Kyle dared not disobey him when he raised his voice.

When they were out of the room, Colt slowly moved to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water and just as slowly returned to the table to sit next to Jacob. Without a word, he pushed one of the waters to him and opened his own. After taking a drink, Colt fixed his gaze on Jacob who stared at the table like an admonished boy. “You know,” he said languidly as he sat back in his own chair. “I had planned to take us fishing tomorrow out on the gulf.”

“I’m sorry,” Jacob offered quietly. “Things… got out of hand.”

Colt’s eyebrows raised. “Oh, you think?” He let Jacob stew for a moment before he asked, “so, what started it?”

Jacob barely shook his head as he could feel his heart sinking further. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” Colt said. “Hell, I know it and I didn’t even need to be here to witness half of the screaming and yelling the two of you have probably been up too.”

“It wasn’t like that. How did you find out anyway if you were down in Florida this whole time?”

“Matt,” Colt answered bluntly. “Called your dad last night saying something about the two of you yelling at each other. Turns out he’s been seeing you two fight quite a bit lately but you only just now started screaming at each other last night. So, Davey told him to call Stewie and pick him and Aaron up and we’ve been driving here ever since.” He leaned closer with a little smirk on his lips as he added, “grandpa told Matt not to tell anyone about calling him. He decided to surprise the two of you. But, maybe ‘ambush’ would be the better word.”

Jacob closed his eyes and groaned. It felt like everything he had worked for had turned to dust in the last two days. Despite everything he tried, he was repeating his own father’s self-destructive cycle. Tears started to form in his eyes as he covered his face with his hands. “Everything is broken. I can’t fix it.”

Colt kept a stern face as he watched Jacob give into his sorrows, but he put a soft hand on his shoulder as well. “You’re probably right. You can’t fix it. Not on your own at least. That’s why you have a family to help you.” He said nothing else. Just sat there quietly and drank his water while he patted Jacob’s shoulder in silent support.

 

****

 

David sat in his chair behind his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to make sense of what Kyle spent the last few minutes telling him. “Kyle…” He made an exasperated noise. “What in the name of God possessed you to keep something like that from Jacob?”

“Dad, I swear I tried my best,” Kyle insisted as he sat in the chair on the other side of David’s desk. Despite his age and being a father of two, sitting there in that moment made him feel like a little kid again. “I kept trying to find ways to bring it up but every time I mentioned the test or his father, he would just get all defensive and change the subject or flat out shut me down. I wanted to tell him, but he never gave me a chance.”

“’Jacob, I just found your brother.’ That’s how you tell him.” David looked across at him, keeping his parental authority in his voice and on his face. “You knew exactly what you were doing every step along the way. And don’t tell me you didn’t. I asked you back in the beginning what you were so antsy about. You could have told me. You should have told me. But you didn’t. Now, try again. And this time, keep the bullshit out of your excuse.”

Kyle closed his eyes and sighed. “Dad… didn’t you teach me that it’s wrong to turn your back on someone you know you can help?”

David’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes.”

“And that if you have the ability do the right thing, then you should.” Kyle leaned forward. “That’s what I’ve been doing. Josh didn’t do what he went to prison for. He was either falsely accused or he was set up. I’m not sure which one it is yet, but I have found enough proof so far that I can probably reach the threshold for reasonable doubt. He’s innocent, Dad! Yes, I know Jacob didn’t want me to do this, but… if you met him... If you saw him that first time and knew you could do something to help him, you would have done the same thing I did.”

David hated to admit that Kyle had a point. What he didn’t want to debate was the tangible strain on his other relationships that made helping this Josh person problematic. “So, what is it about this brother of his that is setting him off?”

Kyle shook his head. “I wish I knew. Whenever I mentioned Josh or his dad, Jacob just shuts me down.” His eyes saddened and he looked away before adding, “it also seems like he’s felt neglected by me for the last couple years since I started on that last big case.”

David nodded as if he wasn’t surprised to hear that. “He understood why you were doing it then. But I think you jumped from one big thing into another, and he was feeling left behind.”

“I know that now.” He lowered his head, still feeling rightly ashamed that he never realized it before.

David sighed. A part of him said that none of this would have happened if he had stayed home instead of going to Florida for the winter. Another part said it was bound to happen that there would be some kind of communication failure between them. Even the best marriages were never perfect. “Talking about his dad isn’t easy for him, son. Not even in the best of times.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Kyle said with a shrug. “He’s never talked to me about his father before.”

David frowned slightly. “Never?”

“Never.”

That didn’t sound right to David’s ears. He put it aside now to keep this conversation on track. “So, what’s going on with this trial so far?”

“Preliminary motions in two weeks. Then jury selection. Then opening arguments.”

David sighed, feeling fatigued from the long drive and the frustration of not knowing how to untie this knot between his sons. “Tell me truthfully. No bullshit. Do you really believe this guy is innocent?”

Kyle nodded and said with no reservations, “yes, Dad.”

David nodded. “Okay.” He slowly rose to his feet. “I want you to start getting ready to make an apology. Both to Jacob and to Matthew. I’m going to talk to Jacob for a few minutes and hear his side.”

Kyle stood up ready to leave the room. “Yes, sir.”

David followed Kyle out, motioning for him to go into the front room while he went to the kitchen. Colt sat there next to Jacob who still looked like that little kid he first remembered meeting. It saddened David to think that all the years of work that was put in to break that shell from around Jacob could all be undone in a few months. “Jacob,” he said in a gentle voice. When he looked up, David motioned for him to come with him before leading him to his study. He waited until Jacob was in before closing the door for their privacy. “Have a seat,” he said as he waved a hand to the small couch in the room.

Jacob moved with reluctant steps as if he already knew what was going to happen. When he sat down, he looked up with reddened eyes. “I’m so sorry, Dad.”

David looked at him with a gentle smile before joining him. “You didn’t do anything wrong, son,” he said. “From what Kyle said and what I can see in your eyes, things just got out of hand.”

Jacob lowered his head and just nodded. “I just… I feel so… Like I’m nothing.”

David hurt for him and gently pulled him close with one arm around his shoulders. “You know that’s not true,” he whispered.

Despite his age, his accomplishments with his business, all the moments spent with his children and his friends’ children, at that moment sitting there next to David he was nineteen again. Feeling scared and lost in a world he felt he didn’t understand anymore. Jacob buried his face in David’s shoulder and wept. “I can’t help it.”

“Oh, my boy.” David wrapped his arms around the man who he always considered the greatest gift he had ever been given and comforted him as he would any son of his. “It’s okay. You’ve been through worse. You’ll get through this.”

“He thinks I hate him.”

David smirked. “No. Angry, maybe. But there’s nothing to be ashamed of, son. Anger is just Love disappointed. He broke a promise to you, and he deserved to be yelled at. But you’re breaking a promise to him to, you know.”

“Huh?” Jacob wiped his eyes and sat up slightly to look at David’s face.

David looked at him with no hint of recrimination or blame. “You promised him that he would be the one you turned to when you were in need. Remember? I was there when you said it. So was everyone else that day at your wedding. You need to deal with the pain your father gave you. I’m blessed that for a few moments in your life you turned to me when you needed me. But Kyle is the one who you need to turn to now.”

Jacob shook his head. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Why not?”

“Because… with this Josh thing and… the way I didn’t give him a chance…”

David nodded in understanding. “None of that matters, sweetheart. You both made promises to each other on that day. To support each other and to care for each other. I know you don’t want to believe it but sharing those things about your father with him will only strengthen your relationship with Kyle, not damage it.” He put his hand on the side of Jacob’s face and looked into his eyes. “He loves you, Jacob. More than I’ve ever seen anyone love someone else. He is not going to run away from you. He is not going to judge you or think less of you.”

“Okay,” Jacob said with a few nods of his head. “I’ll tell him. Just not right now.”

“Soon,” David gently insisted. “Not tonight, but soon. Tonight, you need to apologize to him while I go run over to Andy’s. And when I get back, you owe your sons an apology as well.” A hint of the authority figure crept into his voice again as David pointed a finger at him and added, “never get so angry that you scare my boys. There are better ways to handle your anger.”

Jacob smiled a little, knowing that David meant what he said and being as gentle as he could be to tell him. “I know. I’m sorry I ruined your trip.”

David shook his head. “Nonsense. You should have called me sooner. Nothing is more important than my family.” He rose to his feet and looked down at Jacob. “Now, go join your husband in the living room and you two make up. Whatever it takes to patch things up for tonight. We can handle the bigger issues later.”

“Okay.” Obediently, Jacob got to his feet and followed David out to the front room where Kyle was sitting quietly on one of the sofas.

David stopped at the doorway while Jacob went in and sat down next to Kyle. “Now. I’m going to go over to Andy and Brian’s and thank them for helping us out. While I’m gone, I suggest you two talk things over and come to some sort of solution. And when I get back, the only thing I want to hear is you telling your boys that you’re sorry for worrying them.” He stared at each of them in his stern yet compassionate manner for a moment before turning and heading out through the kitchen.

Colt was already on his feet by the time David walked in. He handed David his coat with a smirk on his lips. “So?”

“Let’s go get the boys,” David said casually as he accepted the coat and pulled it on. “We can spend a few minutes talking with Brian and Andy before we come back. Probably help settle their nerves while we’re at it.”

Colt fell into step with him as they exited the house. “I gotta say, you would’ve made a decent officer back in the day.”

David looked back at him with a smile and warm eyes. “Oh, why’s that?”

“You would’ve made a great tactician,” Colt replied.

David gave a slight chuckle but didn’t reply as they got back in Colt’s car and headed off to retrieve his grandsons.

 

****

 

Kyle and Jacob sat there silently next to each other. They both stared at the floor as they heard David and Colt leave the house, knowing they needed to resolve at least some of the damage between them. “How do you feel,” Kyle asked without raising his gaze.

Jacob sniffed to clear his nose before replying. “Drained. I’m sorry I blew up on you the way I did. Some of the things I said were out of line.”

“Some, but not all,” Kyle said. “What I did to you was wrong. And I know this is something that I can’t reverse because of how I went about hiding everything from you. But I want you to believe that my intentions were to help, not hurt you or anyone else.”

Jacob nodded slightly. “I believe that that’s how it started. And there are a lot of things that I didn’t tell you that I should have.”

Kyle lifted his head to look at him. “Like what?”

Jacob looked at Kyle. David’s words about the promises they made to each other still reverberated in his head. When his eyes met Kyle’s, he was reminded of how he looked on their wedding day and how much he wished in that solemn moment that Kyle would never stop looking at him that way. Now, his husband’s eyes were filled with concern, doubt and sadness. “Like… I haven’t been entirely fair with you. There are things I didn’t tell you that I should have.”

Kyle felt a sliver of hope growing inside him. “Can you tell me about it now?”

“Not all of it yet,” Jacob said with a sigh. “But I need to tell you that ever since this whole debacle started… I’ve been thinking and remembering a lot about my dad. That’s been bothering me because…” he took a breath as his voice dropped in anguish. “… I can’t make it stop.”

“Jacob.” Kyle reflexively put his arms around Jacob and hugged him. “I wish you had told me sooner.”

The familiar feeling of Kyle’s arms around him eased his heart and he reflexively returned the gesture. “I know. I’m sorry.”

They held each other silently for a long time. With every breath, they felt their fears and heartache weaken their grip on themselves. Kyle felt horrible for putting Jacob through so much pain when he had meant to give him something new to add to their lives. “It’s not your fault.”

Jacob smiled despite the gloom that was still inside him. “Yes, it is. I just have a hard time talking about him.”

Kyle leaned back a little to look into Jacob’s eyes with a slight smile. “I think more closer to the truth is, you have a problem talking about your dad with me.”

Jacob thought about that and nodded reluctantly. “That’s probably true.”

As Kyle looked into his eyes, his analytical mind went over everything he could remember about Jacob’s father. He never actually met him. All Kyle knew about him was what Jacob told him. A new realization came to him, and his small smile showed it. “Jacob? When we were teenagers, you never let me drop you off right at your trailer.”

“No. I never did,” he admitted softly. Looking into Kyle’s eyes, he could guess where this was going. Any other time, he might get away with sidestepping the issue. But not this time.

“You didn’t want me to meet him,” Kyle said. “You didn’t want him to…” He blinked and looked at Jacob with surprise. “Were you trying to protect me from him?”

Jacob looked at him for a long moment before he nodded his head slightly. “At first it was out of embarrassment. But later I didn’t want to take the risk of him hurting you. When we met, his drinking had gotten out of control, and he could lash out at any moment about anything. He was barely working, and we had next to nothing. And I loved you so much that I couldn’t risk him doing anything to you.”

Kyle smiled sadly. “Do you suppose you not wanting to talk about him since then is because you’re still trying to protect me from him?”

He closed his eyes and a half-smirk lifted one side of his mouth. “Maybe. It hurts still talking about him. Not because of the abuse but because of everything else about him.”

“I understand,” Kyle said. “At least, I think I do.” He gently wiped Jacob’s tears and composed himself a little. “This is something that will take time. But we have to do it. Just keep in mind that he can’t hurt me anymore. Or you.”

Jacob nodded in agreement. “And, as far as… Josh Carter is concerned… that’s another long talk we need to have. But I can’t avoid it anymore.”

“Well, right now, he’s in Allegheny County jail while he awaits trial,” Kyle said. “For the time being, his visitor’s list is limited to just me and a few of the other lawyers who work with me. I’ll add your name to the list Monday. When or if you are ever ready, you can sit down and meet with him.”

“That’s… not going to happen soon.”

“I know,” he said gently. “But I want you to have that option if you want to give it a try. I’m not going to pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Okay.” Jacob sighed, as if letting out the last of his dark feelings. He still felt some resentment and knew it would be a long time before getting rid of it all. But he felt better having gotten so much of it off his chest. Knowing that they did not have much time left before David returned, he decided to put it away for now and face the consequences of their actions. “We really do owe Matthew an apology. I never wanted him to get hurt in all this.”

Kyle nodded. “We’ll fix it together. I think as long as he knows that we’re not making any big changes that would affect him, then he’ll be fine.”

“Well, I’m not leaving or anything, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”

“I’m not either.”

While neither of them wanted to admit it, hearing it said and repeated put to rest the one question neither of them wanted to ask. An unspoken relief settled some of their fears and they could focus on getting their marriage back on track. “Okay then. What do we tell them?”

“That we love them, we love each other and that we’re going to work through our problems,” Kyle said. “But we’re not going to give up on each other.”

Jacob nodded. “That sounds like the best way to put it. Let’s not lie to him or give him anything else to worry about.”

Kyle nodded. He leaned forward slightly and kissed Jacob on the lips. “You’re still the love of my life.”

A genuine smile lifted his mood on hearing that. “And you are mine.”

“Glad we settled that.” Kyle sat back. “I’m hungry.”

Jacob chuckled. “I don’t think Dad said we had to stay on the couch until he got back. But I’m not sure I want to chance it.”

“Well, let’s go in the kitchen and see if there’s anything to eat.” Kyle stood and held his hand out to Jacob. They still had problems to address and more than a few long talks to be had. But whatever happened, they had faith in their bond for the first time in a long time.