Letting Go - 13. Chapter 13

“Where am I?” Elliot looked around but his vision could not penetrate anything through the thick fog surrounding him. He attempted to fumble around with his hand but except the ghosts of fog there was nothing around. Elliot started to feel nauseous at the emptiness, he shouted at the top of his lung but his voice did not echo, and there was no reply.

 

After what felt like forever, a voice suddenly reached Elliot’s ear. Elliot’s heart clenched hard. He could never forget this voice no matter how long had past.

 

“Come forward, don’t be afraid.” The voice said.

 

Elliot started to follow the origin of the voice, he stumbled carefully as if he were walking on a cliff and down him were raging oceans trying to devour him. He kept on walking and the fog got lighter and lighter until he finally reached a place where everything seemed black and gray, a big shinning moon hung on the black canvas above, there were only dead flowers and trees around, black and gray as if they had been burned, nothing was moving except him, even the moon felt like frozen. Elliot walked on the hard gravel road, for some reason this scene felt familiar to him, as if he had lived in it.

 

“Where are you?” Elliot called to the depressing field, hoping to hear that voice again.

 

“Come, walk to me, don’t be afraid.” That voice came again but still sounded far away.

 

Elliot listened and walked on. The deathly scene stretched endlessly, Elliot didn’t know how long he had been walking until he saw a bright light figure standing far away among the dead flowers. He trod on the flowers and stared to run, flowers shattered under his feet into powder, the powder floated in the air and encircled Elliot, Elliot waved his hand violently to get them out of his face, and kept on running without stopping. More powder from the dead flower encircled him while he run further, he could hardly see his front, but he knew he could not stop so he continued to wave his arms at the dead flower powder and ran to the white light figure.

 

Eventually he reached his target and stopped breathlessly, the dead flower powder floated for awhile longer but then started to drop, Elliot's heart pounded hard in his rib cage, his lips started to tremble, his vision became more and more clear, and before the powders all disappeared he knew he had found what he was looking. He stared at the person in front of him but could not find the right word to say.

 

“How are you, Elliot.” Jasper asked in a soft voice, he smiled at Elliot. Elliot stared at Jasper’s never forgotten smile and an excruciating pain filled up his heart. He just stood there, staring at him, eyes full of pain and sorrow, his chest became heavy and his throat tight, and he grasped his heart hard in front of his chest, he tried to say something but every time when he opened his mouth a huge invisible lump seemed to chock him in the throat, so he ended up breathing heavily and painfully for oxygen.

 

“It hurts.” Sound finally found its way back to Elliot whose hand still clenched in front of his chest where the pounding heart was.

 

“I know. It hurts me also.” Jasper’s voice saddened, he came closer to Elliot and hugged him.

 

At that moment, all the walls he had build up for sorrow seemed to collapse, Elliot grabbed Jasper’s shoulder and cried and cried. Jasper did not say any word, he just held Elliot tight on the head and on his back.