Letting Go - 5. Chapter 5

Everyone goes to parties for one reason, but when your hand is in the bag, sin feels the same as joy, and alcohol will mix them to a rosemary drink.

 

Of course, Keith didn't go shopping with Dustin this afternoon, he wanted to get back to his drawings today. Keith at the moment was studying in Royal College of Art in London, meanwhile he was a big fan of Bill Watterson the author of Cavlin and Hobbes. He always wanted to create his own story in the same style, so far he was still working on the story, the other story he wrote, which turned out to be a series, didn't really suit the drawing style, so he had been working on a new idea for several months already.

 

*

 

As the son of a British Duke and Dutchess, and being a Lord himself, Dustin was never lucky at finding himself the perfect boyfriend, first at the age of fifteen he had gone through a very tough period at convincing his parents not to send him to any more groups in which people believed Homosexuality was sin and should be saved, and one year later his parents had agreed him to go public and seek his own happiness, but later he had found most guys he had gone out with were more interested in his title than he himself. Two yeas ago he had been invited to a great designer's fourth wedding which had been his third time to give that designer his blessing with a different guy each time. He had been deeply impressed by this guy who came to the wedding with a a giant silver framed portrait of the happy couple, the staff at the wedding had put the portrait on the stage where the couple would start counting down their days to their next marriage. Later in the after party, Dustin had come to Keith at the bar table and complimented the art work.

 

Keith had stared at the guy with a messy but deliberate hairstyle, then ordered two Agave Kiss from the bartender and turned around to greet Dustin.

 

"Forgive me taking the liberty but I hope you will enjoy this drink." Keith had said in his devil tongue.

 

But the romance between them had only lasted for six months, Dustin had been getting more and more paranoid every time when Keith went to parties without him, especially when Keith was invited to parties very often abroad and he couldn't leave with him every time.

 

Keith had been the first one Dustin had dated who was not just interested in his title , but unfortunately, eventually Keith had told Dustin one day that they would be better stay as friends since Dustin couldn't live up with his life pace and he had no intention of slowing down.

 

At 7p.m. Dustin got out of the elevator to Keith's penthouse. Keith had moved in here from his parents' deluxe villadom in the suburb one year ago, it still belonged to his parents of course but they didn't really come here very often, in fact, they didn't even stay in UK very often, which was another generous offer.

 

Dustin had a present for Keith, he had been thinking of bringing this to Keith for a week, and four days ago he came to drop a mix of Armin Van Buuren was a sign because today he brought two tickets to a great DJ's show in NYC next week.

 

"OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!" Keith literally jumped on Dustin when he took the ticket and gave Dustin a bear hug.

 

Dustin thought he might just had an orgasm.

 

"I wish Elliot could be as half caring and sensitive as you are." Keith and Dusting now were sitting in his own small drinking bar in the entertainment room, sipping on Cosmopolitan and piña colada.

 

Dustin sure was a very sensitive guy, he was especially extreme sensitive to every time when Keith mentioned Elliot's name.

 

"As if blood would come of out of his mouth instead of words if he starts being a little bit more initiative." Keith rolled his eyes.

 

This conversation didn't go as what Dustin expected, he was hopping Keith would talk more about the show, about them, about anything but Elliot or any other guy he was screwing with. Read the signs already!

 

"Maybe he's too shy. " Dustin said. And frigging dumb, he meant to add.

 

"Shy? And dumb!"

 

One score for Dustin.

 

"I think he only understands someone's feeling when they tell him word by word and confront him." Said Keith, swigging his Cosmopolitan.

 

"Did you do that?" Dustin asked and touched his chin like he couldn't care less about the answer.

 

"Of course yes, few times, but I stopped, if he has feeling for me then it's his responsibility to let me know too! Right?" Keith was becoming indignant at Elliot's ignorance.

 

That was a question which Dustin felt wrong to answer either way. "And what will you do if he tells you" was what Dustin wanted to ask, but most likely the answer would ruin the whole night, so instead of saying so,

 

"I need a re-fill."

 

More drinks, that was the most sober solution for now. Later Keith went on and on only about Elliot, Dustin wished he could just spill his piña colada on Keith's gorgeous face and then kiss him, but in stead he just sat there like a bored psychiatrist.

 

"He is still going to the party in NYC with me, right?" Dustin asked his own mind while listening to Keith nagging on and on.

 

*

 

Two more cocktail drinks later they went up to a friend Aaron's place for a before-party. Aaron went to the same college with Keith, he was a very sweet straight guy living with his girlfriend Nerissa, but in his circle he had more gay friends than straight ones. Aaron knew the story between Keith and Elliot, and he always tempted Keith that Elliot needed to be feeling endangered to make an action, which was why he had set up a date for Keith tonight.

 

"Hey Keith, I would like you to meet Ian," While Dustin left to use the bathroom, Aaron came with a very cute guy, "Ian is the co-author of the uprising comic book Dust, the Warner Bros. Picutres is working on the idea of turning this story into a movie. But as a big fan of comics I assume you've already heard about that. And Ian, this is Keith, you don't need me to fill in with more details because I've already lectured you with all the information you need."

 

"Wow, Ian, Ian Baker?" Keith put down his drink on a table and threw out his hand.

 

"Now I'll leave you boys alone." Aaron left with a cunning smile on his face and went back to the crowd to find Nerissa.

 

"Funny, I'm also working on my own comic!" Said Keith excitedly.

 

"Oh... Really? What is it about?" Ian was surprised Keith's first comment was not about him or Dust.

 

"Well it's an adventure story I imagined between me and a friend, I'm still working on the story but I have stylized the characters just today." Keith talked yet like he had already finished more than half of the book.

 

"Great, you have to show me someday." Ian was feeling lucky that he was good at the thing Keith admired about, this had just offered him a free ticket to get on Keith's ship.

 

Yet meanwhile, Dustin got back from the bathroom and saw Keith chatting cheerfully with a stranger, there he sensed being threatened again, why couldn't these guys just leave Keith alone or wear a T-shirt says "Keith is meant to be with Dustin" with a sweet picture of them lying on the beach in Kauai, Hawaii.

 

Oh those days in Kauai, Hawaii. He couldn't remember whether they had ever put on the shirts during the whole trip there.

 

A waiter walked past with a tray of champagne. Dustin whisked a flute off the tray and downed it in a matter of seconds, then snagged two more flutes and halted longer to savour the memory with his eyes closed.

 

"Hey Dustin! Over here!"

 

Keith saw Dustin standing alone with his eyes closed and a weird smile on his face so he called him over, Dustin opened his eyes and what came into his sight was the sweetest face like what you see from a little girl in a sleepover party screaming "Hey come let's play pillow fight now!"

 

"Dustin, this is Ian Baker, you won't believe it, he is the author of the comic Dust!" Keith introduced Ian to Dustin the moment he joined them, he was so excited someone could hit him with a pillow right now.

 

"Oh," Dustin realized he was facing a quite competitive opponent and he needed a better title to defeat the comic author, "Hi, I'm Dustin, Keith and I.. Uhm, we use to date."

 

Touché, ex-boyfriend. Touché!

 

The atmosphere became so embarrassing instantly that you could hear the dead skin floating in the air in slow motion. One thing Ian liked about being a young comic author was with his great imagination he could create his own world which was dominated by dragons or rhinoceros whatever, to compensate his lousy skills at socializing in real world with imagined super powers like riding on a dragon on the Lake of Albenonia with the prince from Yhanoboro, so right now this was how Ian pictured his feeling.

 

He was standing on the third step onto Keith's ship while Dustin the co captain called from behind saying he had been standing in the way, there were two options, one he could climb faster but there was no guarantee that he would be faster than Dustin and it might show rudeness, or he could step down and let Dustin go first, in that case he would be in the role of being a concubine's bitch.

 

So he lingered on the third step, leaving Dustin to make the order.

 

"Sorry," Dustin sensed the furiousness spouted out from Keith's eyes, "I was just joking, I mean, not that I'm not his ex... But... Joking... You know... I was.... his..." Dustin shut up at Keith’s gaze and swallowed.

 

"Forgive me for only bringing two drinks." Dustin finally passed one drink to Keith.

 

"It's ok, I still haven't finished mine yet." Ian moved uneasily and forced a smile, in his imagination the co captain had just joined him on the third step.

 

"No, two drinks are perfect. You seem to have had enough drinks for tonight already." Keith took over the other drink from Dustin and handed it to Ian, then turned to Dustin again, "Ian and I are having a very nice conversation, thanks for bringing us the drink." Keith said with a pseudo smile, daring Dustin to embarrass their conversation any longer, as if they'd only just met.

 

Dustin stood there for a second, feeling awkward, he knew he had screwed up and embarrassed Keith in front of Ian, so he turned away and left without a word. He picked up another drink and sat on a sofa, looking crestfallen.

 

"You don't seem to be in a party mood." A handsome guy sitting near him moved closer. "I'm Edwin."

 

"Dustin. Things just didn't go as I planned tonight." Dustin swirled down his drink, ready to pour his heart to a stranger.

 

"I don't mean to peep but I saw you had a small problem with your friend over there, is it because of him?" Edwin tilted his body toward Dustin.

 

"Indeed it's all because of him. We were together before for six months but things got way out of control so we broke up, I'm planning on getting back with him tonight, but all he's been doing is talking about another guy and screwing with the rest." Dustin started letting his feelings out, he knew what he said was unfair for Keith but he felt hurt and angry.

 

"I don't see him screwing with me, or shall I get ready?" Edwin joked but soon realized it was a bad attempt from the signal sent out from Dustin's fierce eyes, "Sorry, not the perfect timing for jokes huh? But did you tell him how you feel?"

 

"no."

 

"Then you should go and talk to him, you are under stress and he has no tiny little clue of what's going on. You shouldn't blame him for being an innocent twat."

"So you are saying I should tell him how I feel?" Dustin put down his drink on the table and straightened his back.

 

"Well, I thought you wanted to do it, right? At least trying to do it." Edwin patted Dustin on the shoulder, "If you bury it too long you are gonna ruin it yourself, perhaps even including yourself."

 

Dustin fiddled with his Jacob & Co bracelet. "You are right," He stood up, "I'm going to tell him how I feel. Thanks for the tips eh... Edwin."

 

"Anytime, mate. I'll be sitting here, let me know how it goes if you ever come back." Edwin threw himself a little backward and made himself comfortable on the sofa.

Dustin smiled and headed to Keith, but he stopped after only two steps and turned around, looking at Edwin again. Edwin was still sitting with his right leg resting on the left one, gazing at Dustin like he knew he would turn around.

 

"Or you could teach me more tips," Dustin said, "I see you need a re-fill too, can I tempt you?"

 

"Pleasure." Edwin leaped up with a triumphant smile, taking a huge swig of his drink and drained it, like everything just happened so naturally.