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Do You Ship Us? - 36. Desperate

Somehow the thought of doing a sexy themed photoshoot had seemed like a good idea in Jasper’s mind, the thought of seeing Ryan posed in an alluring position, gazing teasingly at the camera with little on had been at the front of his mind, but the reality of the person behind the shoot had managed to be forgotten. Of course this wasn’t going to be an individual photo session, of course he’d pair Ryan with Amy, the girl he’d be getting close to in the music video. Of course she’d be the subject of his boyfriend’s interest during the staged flirty shoot. Still, knowing they were all getting single photos taken to promote this new song and bring in excitement for the ‘sexy’ song, gave Jasper some hope that maybe he could be the one seducing Ryan through the camera lense.

After watching Ryan apply a small amount of oil to his tone body, a button up shirt open and hanging from his arms, the belt around his pants undone. Jasper was sure he could ignore the girl who was standing behind him, until she was directed to have her hands on him, then jealousy took away everything that was good about the scene. He noticed Chris shooting him the occassional glance as he instructed the couple to pose in other ways, hands all over each other, lips lingering so close to each other’s. The longer the attention was on Ryan the more aggressive Blake’s scoffing at each different pose got.

“Fucking ridiculous.” Blake mutters, he’d been having a rough time, apparently, judging by the smell of alcohol on his breath at 9am when he’d turned up almost an hour late for his own music video promotional shoot. Jasper didn’t blame him, he himself wished he had been drinking all morning, then maybe he’d be able to be a little more entertained and less hateful towards this whole process. When Chris is finally done getting photos of Ryan and Amy, he calls on Jasper to go next. Posing alone, in a prop ‘club booth’ seat Jasper was given absolutely no direction about how to sit aside from a very unhelpful ‘try to look relaxed’ from Chris. Jasper leans back in the seat and realises he has no idea how to look relaxed in his attempt to be alluring with so many people watching him.

“We want sexy, not desperate.” Chris states with a smirk.

“Desperate? Right now I am just trying desperately not to look like I want to punch you.” Jasper rolls his eyes and leans back a little, running his fingers through his hair and hearing the camera go off a few times. Ryan was standing beside the photographer looking at the shots that were being taken. Ryan catches Jasper looking at him and winks, without even thinking Jasper smirks and winks back, again hearing the camera clicking half a dozen times.

“I think I’ve got a great shot.” The photographer states, reviewing one and showing it to Chris.

“That’s probably the best you’ll get out of him.” Chris shrugs then turns to Blake, sending him up for his turn.

The production of Blake’s song was rushed and it was definitely a waste of everyone’s time. Even if they hadn’t been planning on leaving, the absolute low budget and rushed music video would without a doubt negatively effect the group. They were in the day of filming, having been going with the music video for almost 11 hours already and with no sign of it being over soon everyone was getting snappy at one another for each time a shot had to be taken again. Blake was in the worst mood, having been miserable right from the start with his song, seeing it be treated this way made him so furious that he was barely speaking to anyone and when he would speak it was an outburst of criticisms and swearing. On more than one occasion his anger was polarized by Chris’ amused smile watching the group dissolve into petty fights in front of him.

Oh for fuck sake Ryan just grope her, this music video isn’t about dignity and respecting women so don’t look so conflicted.” Blake snaps when Ryan is told his kiss wasn’t steamy enough. Jasper was beside Blake, as the next part of filming would be focusing on them, he’d avoided watching the 13 takes of this single kiss moment already and really didn’t think he could stand knowing Ryan had spent more time kissing her, than he had with Jasper. He was keeping a tally of all the hot kisses Ryan would owe him to make up for this but he’d had enough of standing back looking uncomfortably and being asked if he was ok by Luke and Simon who he’d lied to and told that he just felt weird watching a straight couple kiss.

“Alright well in this part we want Blake looking furious and starting to walk towards the couple, Jasper you’re going to stop him...”

“No offence but I think if I was really about to go and deck someone, Jasper would be about the last person in the world to stop me. I’d probably not even notice him trying to hold me back.” Blake scoffs.

“Just go with it so we can get this over with.” Jasper sighs, he was exhausted by the entire day, they’d started with hours of focus on a group choreography scene in the club and no matter how hard they tried they just kept having to repeat it until everyone started complaining that their legs were sore. Standing around for the last half hour turning a blind eye to the way Ryan was touching and kissing this back-up dancer had taken the last of the fucks he had to give to the day and Blake’s annoyance was rubbing off on him. Blake glances at Jasper and sighs, he’d not acknowledged Jasper’s discomfort throughout this last section of filming and knew as his friend he should have some sympathy for the way Jasper felt by this stage but he was too rialed to care about anything other than his own disapproval of all of it.

He and Jasper take their positions, watching Ryan hold the girls’ hand and whisper in her ear, his other hand sliding sexily down from her hip to the base of her dress, she slaps it away with a cheeky smile and lets Ryan start leading her away through the crowd. Blake shakes his head and starts pushing his way through the people who were playing random club goers around them. Jasper quickly steps in front of him, placing his hand on his chest and stopping him. Blake knocks his hand away a little harder than he needed to.

“I can’t let him take her.” Blake snaps, even though there would be singing played over the scene, the conversation had to look real.

“Ignore them. He’s probably gay anyway.” Jasper decides to say which causes Blake’s anger to faulter, a smile washing over his face and he starts laughing immediately, dropping to the floor in laughter as Chris calls cut. Everyone looks over at him and Jasper who was laughing too, he couldn’t believe he’d even said it himself but he had wanted to bring some humor to the long day.

“If you could take it seriously!” Chris snaps at them.

“Why should we take any of this seriously? This whole music video, is fucking trash. I’m done.” Blake calls over his shoulder, reaching for Jasper who extends a hand and helps him up. Blake pulls him into a hug and pats his shoulder. “Thanks man, I needed that.” He whispers.

“I think we all did.” Jasper laughs to himself. Blake pulls back and holds both of Jasper’s shoulders, looking at him sternly.

“Are you alright? I should have asked ages ago. That wouldn’t have been fun for you, seeing Ryan and all that.” Blake asks him quietly.

“It’s just acting right? Plus for the pain I caused you while I was dating Beth, I deserved to feel a little jealousy myself.” Jasper shrugs.

“You weren’t that bad, and you never flaunted your relationship in front of me like this stupid video is making out. I want you to know this is not how I felt, none of this is how I felt. Kinda like how you feel right now, frustrated with the act and a little jealous. Nothing like all this was hyped up to be.” Blake winks at him. Jasper just laughs to himself again.

“Nothing worth being jealous of in the long run right? Turns out he was just gay.” Jasper whispers and Blake shakes his head, turning to the other guys who were standing back awkwardly waiting to know what was happening next with the music video.

Lets fucking go. We’ve spent too much time here as it is. I’m leaving so the rest of you might as well.” Blake shrugs and starts walking out past Chris.

“You all better hope you’re a little more serious in the concerts next week, the shows are sold out and you need to show them you’re worth them continuing to buy your records, since you as yet have absolutely nothing worth introducing to them.” Chris yells, feeling like he was loosing control as they all walk past him.

Oh don’t worry, we won’t let our fans down.” Simon tells him with a polite smile, walking out and muttering ‘asshole’ when he is out of the room and couldn’t be heard.

“Anyone else want to hit up a real club? I need a drink after all that.” Blake suggests, looking at the eager nodding from everyone else.

“It’s like 6pm, wanna meet after dinner and stuff, like at 9?” Luke asks, rubbing his stomach as if trying to make his point that he was starving.

“Good plan, see you guys at that one we went to for Jasper’s birthday at 9?” Blake shrugs and nudges Jasper. “Thanks again, for reminding me not to take it too seriously.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Jasper turns and looks at Ryan. “Come on, you need to eat too, other people’s tongues don’t count as dinner.” He turns and walks off, leaving Ryan to hurry behind him.

“Are you mad at me? If it helps at all I was trying to pretend she was you.” Ryan tells him quietly on the way to the car.

“Yeah? Did her boobs being squeezed against your chest make that difficult?” Jasper asks.

“I wasn’t comfortable.” Ryan sighs.

“Speaking of not being comfortable, I think at the very least I deserve a massage, I happen to be extremely tense along with the aching of all my muscles from that dance.” Jasper tells him.

“Will a massage get me out of the bad books?” Ryan asks.

“I guess it depends on how good of a massage you can give.” Jasper smirks at him, pulling the door of the waiting uber open and climbing in first.


Jasper lies on the bed in nothing but his underwear, arms crossed under his head as he relaxed and waiting for Ryan to begin the make-up massage he’d asked for.

“Where does it hurt?” Ryan asks, pumping some moisturizer onto his hands and rubbing them together.

“My shoulder blades and down my back.” Jasper tells him then presses his head into his pillow.

“Ok, I’ll be gentle, tell me if you want me to be a little harder.” Ryan tells him as he sits down on the bed beside Jasper and starts rubbing his thumbs up Jasper’s shoulder blades. “Man you’ve got some bad knots in here.” Ryan comments as Jasper groans and flinches every time Ryan’s thumb rolls over one of them. “Am I hurting you?” Ryan asks.

“I don’t know.” Jasper sighs then groans again as Ryan gets one of the knots out.

“Well there’s one.” Ryan laughs as Jasper let’s out a gasp and pained groan.

“That hurt in a good way.” Jasper comments.

“Sadist.” Ryan teases, running his hands down Jasper’s back. “Where does it hurt down here?” He asks.

“I don’t even know.” Jasper replies with a peaceful sigh as Ryan starts massaging his lower back gently.

“You’re not falling asleep on me are you?” Ryan asks.

“No.” Jasper sighs. “I think at the concert I’m going to come out. You know how we are planning on quitting on stage publicly at the last show and were trying to think of a good song to sing before we do? Simon wanted to do that Queen song ‘Death on Two Legs’? I haven’t said anything because I’ve been really torn on it, but I actually wrote a song that I would really like to perform. About me, and about how I’ve been forced to hide it because of Chris. If you want to come out too, maybe we could announce our relationship too? I am sick of hiding it from everyone.” Jasper tells him. Ryan stops massaging, sitting back and frowning.

“Seriously? You want to do that?” He asks.

“Does it sound like a bad idea?” Jasper asks, turning and looking at Ryan.

“No, it’s just, that’s a really brave way to do it.” Ryan shrugs.

“Well none of the rest of my personal business has had the respect of being kept personal so I figure, better that I do it, before we piss Chris off. Who knows how he will retaliate right?”

“You want me to come out too?” Ryan asks with a smirk.

“I don’t know, I didn’t think I was into public affection, but after watching you spend half the day making out with a girl you don’t know, I think it’s a bit unfair that we wouldn’t get away with kissing you at the club later. I think I might actually be the clingy, jealous type after all.” Jasper sighs, shaking his head and smirking.

“Speaking of retaliating, I can’t believe you told Chris you wanted to punch him and he didn’t even say anything.” Ryan laughs to himself as he thinks back on it.

“That I desperately wanted to punch him.” Jasper laughs too then gives a sigh. “Do you think I looked desperate?” he asks, feeling a little insecure and vulnerable now that he was wearing very little and had Ryan’s hands on him.

“No. I thought you looked sexy.” Ryan answers.

“You’re just saying that because you have to, you’re biased.” Jasper scoffs. Ryan is silent for a moment while he thinks.

“I mean yeah, you can be doing absolutely nothing with an effortless look and I will still find you sexy so you’re probably right that I’m biased but at the same time, as your boyfriend I would kinda hope you wouldn‘t need anyone else to see you that way so what’s it matter what anyone thinks? Especially a straight guy that’s hellbent on treating you like shit, he’s not going to have anything nice to say so you can’t expect anything better from him. I’ll be honest, you looked a little lost, he was purposely trying to set you up to feel uncomfortable and out of place though because he didn’t tell you how to pose and he did for literally everyone else.”

“Speaking of you making out with Amy all day long, you owe me a hell of a lot of kisses.”

“I thought I was making up for that with the massage?”

“Well yeah but you stopped that.” Jasper shrugs.

So I did. You took me off guard with the whole ‘lets come out as a couple thing’ what would you like? More massaging or kissing? Or both?” Ryan suggests with a flirty smile.

“Hmmm, both sounds good to me.” Jasper lies back and relaxes. “I just don’t want you to stop touching me.” He admits with a smirk.

“And you doubt whether you look sexy.” Ryan smirks, taking a moment to just enjoy the way Jasper looked. “There’s no one I’d rather spend the rest of my life touching.” Ryan gets back to the massage, pressing his hands a little harder as his hands glide up Jasper’s back searching for the knots that he needed to work on, placing a kiss on Jasper’s shoulder, then neck.

“Mm, do we have to go meet up with Blake? Because I just want to do this all night.” Jasper sighs.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Ryan smiles at the thought of spending his night like this. “Plus my Mum is off at a meeting so we’ve for once got the place to ourselves.”

@Copyright (2018), Claire Rosalind; All Rights Reserved.
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Ryan and Jasper slowly continue to repair their relationship.  The band itself, in agreeing to meet at a club, also indicates its willingness to heal. Perhaps the worst is over....

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