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Do You Ship Us? - 84. I'm All Yours~

“This is a question for Jasper, in a couple of your recent performances, you’ve been very emotional. We saw on your birthday, you getting tearful over a message from Ryan and since then when performing the song that you wrote for him the last time you guys were apart like this you have been brought to tears.” As the interviewer speaks, a video of him tearfully singing about waking up beside Ryan and feeling at home plays behind her. Jasper glances at the screen and smiles to himself then looks away again. “How has the distance affected you this time around?”

“It’s definitely been challenging. But it’s nowhere near what it was like that first time. It’s just hard to sing about how much you hate being alone, when you have been alone again for a number of months with an indeterminate amount of time left of not seeing the person you love.” Jasper states with a shrug.

“Is it easier this time because you’re so busy?” The interviewer asks.

“I am so busy so a lot of time is going quite fast but I am performing that song at every show and it’s a reminder of how hard it was to go through back then, and also how hard it is now. There are some things about it that make it easier, like our relationship has been growing stronger and stronger with every challenge we've faced. I mean, it’s been almost a year since we started dating and we’ve had so much drama to go through in just the year that it feels like we’ve already spent a lifetime together. But then with that, comes the fact that the way we feel about each other has also grown exponentially. I mean I thought I missed him back then, this is next level. Between him being away and me being on tour now we’ve spent more time apart than together in that year which is insane. The main reason I've been more emotional about it recently is because we had planned to see each other and it just hasn’t been possible so at the start of tour I was fine because I was counting down until I would see him and now it’s like, ‘well those plans failed, now how long is it going to be?’ But it’s not forever. I’ll go home eventually and if I’m really, really lucky, he will be able to visit me at least once between now and the end of tour.” Jasper had known the questions would come up and been thinking about how he wanted to answer them. The last few shows he’d not been able to hold himself back from tears while performing, the disappointment since his birthday had been weighing on him and the scattering of phone calls throughout the time he’d been on tour was barely enough.

So he hasn’t been able to visit at all since you’ve been on tour then.” The woman asks, sounding as though she was trying to come across sympathetic but also digging for some kind of negative response or a more emotional reaction.

“Neither has my girlfriend. I mean come on, Jasper is not the only one here missing someone.” Blake cuts in, aware that Jasper wouldn’t be wanting to answer too many questions about this. He’d given a solid response, but these days there was very little between being fine, and cracking when it came to talking about Ryan and the distance they were stuck in. Jasper smiles at Blake gratefully. There was a new depth to their friendship that had come about from having the more serious conversations and relying on each other to get through what was the most challenging period of time in their own relationships. Before Jasper had met Ryan, he and Blake would just muck around for the most part and their friendship had been born out of that carefree behaviour. It wasn’t just his and Ryan’s relationship that had exploded in the last year, he had a whole new appreciation for Blake, even when there was pressure straining their relationship, Jasper knew Blake had his back no matter what, and in return, Jasper had his.

After the interview winds up the group heads out to the cars, the next stop was checking into the hotel for the next two nights and it couldn’t come soon enough, they actually had the afternoon fairly free of plans, Blake and Jasper had talked about doing a podcast when they checked in but they were equally keen to just check in and do absolutely nothing. Luke and Simon’s driver was already waiting for them but Leo wasn’t yet.

“Reckon he’s running late because he’s getting us coffee?” Jasper asks Blake who seemed distracted, looking down the street almost anxiously.

“Nah. He might be getting you one but I wouldn’t be so lucky.” Blake rolls his eyes and checks his phone to see the time. “Since he’s running late I might just get myself a drink.” He states, quickly looking up where the nearest coffee shop or vendor was.

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow. Have an awesome night you two.” Luke calls out as he piles into the car behind Simon. Jasper and Blake wave them off then Blake’s attention goes back to his phone.

“Looks like there’s a place just around the corner.” Blake states.

“I should probably wait here for Leo, if he’s already on his way he shouldn’t be too much longer. I hope he’s alright. It’s not like him to not be on time.” Jasper crosses his arms, looking up and down the street.

“I’m sure he’s fine, but suit yourself. I’ll be back soon.” Blake turns and starts walking down the footpath, looking at his phone for directions and almost bumping into a disgruntled looking pedestrian who was muttering to himself as he passes by.

“Dirty faggot.” The man yells and spits in Jasper’s face as he walks past him. Jasper is frozen in shock but Blake overheard the insult and immediately turns back around, storming back towards Jasper who was standing there looking really confused.

“What did he fucking say to you?” Blake demands as he walks quickly and aggressively towards Jasper, frowning at his face as he passes. Just then Leo pulls up beside them and gets out of the car.

“Where the hell have you been? Do you have something I can wipe my face with? I’ve just been spat on.” Jasper snaps at Leo who rushes over quickly and hands him the pocket square from his jacket.

“Here get in.” Leo tells Jasper quickly as he opens the back passenger door and gently encourages him into the back of the car.

“He SPAT on you?” Blake pauses to make sure he’d heard right before turning and starting to run after the man. Leo takes off after Blake, rushing to grab him before he could do anything.

“Hey, hey, hey. Come on, just leave him. Let’s go.” Leo orders, getting between Blake and the man who was running off like a coward after realizing Blake was on his tail.

“He called him a dirty faggot!” Blake snaps in disbelief, looking at Leo expecting him to be on his side about chasing the guy down.

“Yeah well.” Leo sighs and shakes his head, looking over his shoulder at the jerk running off, then back at Blake. “This isn’t the most progressive area. If you harass him you’re a lot more likely to be the one getting in trouble than he is. Come on.” Leo nods back towards the car. “He’s waiting.” Blake turns around and walks back angrily, he understood Leo’s point but he wasn’t any less pissed about not being able to throw hands at someone that had insulted and spat on his best friend. He climbs in the back seat beside Jasper who had his head down and was breathing heavily, trying to keep himself calm.

“You ok?” Blake asks gently, putting a hand on Jasper’s back and patting him comfortingly.

“Yeah.” Jasper lies and looks out the window, away from where it’d just happened.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, this isn’t the best area and...” Leo starts as he returns to the driver seat but Jasper cuts him off annoyed.

“Where were you? Why were you late?” He demands.

“I...” Leo barely gets started before Jasper cuts in again.

“I don’t even care. Just do your job. Get us to the hotel so I can get cleaned up properly.” Jasper scoffs. Leo doesn’t try to defend himself, just starts the car and drives in silence until they get to the hotel. “This is fucking disgusting. Who spits on someone? Calling me ‘dirty‘ and spitting on me. What a joke. Absolutely absurd.” Jasper mutters to himself as they start driving. To Blake’s disappointment they don’t drive past him, because he had some words prepared to scream out the window in an attempt to feel as though he’d done something to defend Jasper’s honor. He was fairly sure even in a not so progressive area, the fans would be behind him even if he was caught verbally abusing a stranger on the street. The fans would understand. Blake spends most of the drive looking at his phone while Jasper stares absently out the window. Leo frequently glances in the rearview mirror to see if Jasper is ok, feeling awful for having not been there sooner to avoid Jasper going through that experience. He wanted to explain himself but on more than one occasion he’d caught Blake shaking his head at him as though warning him not to speak.

“Why don’t you wait in the car and I’ll go and check us in.” Blake suggests to Jasper who was noticeably still a little shaken.

“Thanks.” Jasper nods, glad he didn’t have to get out now, all he wanted was to get into the room and clean his face properly. Blake gets out and rushes off inside. “I’m sorry about having a go at you.” Jasper says as soon as he and Leo are left alone.

“It’s fine. You were in a bit of shock, and if I’d have been on time you wouldn’t have had to go through that.” Leo replies with a sigh.

“Your track record has been flawless, I shouldn’t really get mad about you being late once.” Jasper shrugs, looking out to see if Blake was on his way back yet, even though he had only been gone a minute. He just wanted to be in the safety of his room. Despite knowing he hadn’t really been in threat of getting hurt, he just felt really intimidated by the fact this complete stranger had just done this. Since coming out Jasper had been lucky to not have experiences like that with people on the street. The name calling didn’t bother him really, sticks and stones and all that. But being spat on was so degrading that it was making him think about the conversion therapy he’d been sent to and the subtle abuse that he’d witnessed there with similar types of degradation and intimidation being used to shame people and belittle them into wanting to ‘change’. He hadn’t understood at the time, how it felt to be treated like that and had thought he wouldn’t care, but now he got it. The fact that his sexuality meant someone felt they had the right to spit on him in the street made him feel so disgustingly unhuman.

“How did the interview go?” Leo asks and Jasper realizes he’s not been listening to Leo while caught up in his own thoughts and memories he’d tried to forget about. He shakes his head as if it was clearing the thoughts from his mind and lets himself get distracted by Leo’s question.

“Ugh, it was fine I guess. Just, I knew I’d be asked about the fact I’ve been crying during shows, but I had kinda hoped they just wouldn’t bring it up. Clearly it hurts to think about when I perform, and of course they know why, so asking seems really redundant and like a cheap attempt at getting me to cry on camera for them. I don’t like when interviews ask stupid questions designed to hit you in the feels.” Jasper complains.

“Did you cry on camera for them like a good boy?” Leo asks, shifting in his seat and turning to smile at Jasper.

“No way. They don’t get the satisfaction of breaking me.” Jasper scoffs.

“That’s the spirit.” Leo laughs, making Jasper laugh too.

“Only you could cheer me up, when I’m talking about people actively trying to make me sad.” Jasper shakes his head.

“I don’t know about that, I’m fairly sure Blake would have something fun to say about you being spitefully emotionless on camera. I just love the attitude and the bitterness you hold towards people that try to use things against you. You’re so petty and I love it.” Leo grins at him.

“Being spiteful is one of my best qualities, I’m sure.” Jasper says sarcastically, looking over as Blake comes back to the car and opens the door.

“Ok, lets go.” Blake orders, Leo gets out and goes to get their bags while Jasper gets out and simply follows Blake inside, straight through to the elevators. Blake passes Jasper one of the cards to get in and presses the button for the floor. “Are you alright?” Blake asks when the doors close and they have a moment alone.

“Yeah just, can’t really believe it happened. I guess I should be surprised that it’s the first time something like that has happened. It’s been a while since someone reminded me that I’m not accepted as I am by everyone.” Jasper shrugs, leaning against the wall of the elevator and tapping the keycard in his hand.

“Leo said this area is a bit like that, so we’ll keep an eye on you better so nothing like that happens again. I don’t want to end up in jail over here.” Blake states, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Although honestly I was prepared to have a throw down.”

“I wish I had done more than just stand there in shock but it’s probably not worth it. I’ll just be an extra ‘fag’ on stage, show how much I don’t care.” Jasper shrugs, exactly the kind of spiteful attitude Leo had been talking about. The elevator stops and the doors open, Blake quickly finds his way down the hallway and to their room, he opens and holds the door for Jasper who walks in and immediately heads to the bathroom to wash his face.

“Hey, Leo’s just dropped our bags in, I’m gonna go grab that coffee now. I’ll be a while.” Blake calls out.

“Ok.” Jasper shouts back. He was looking forward to some quiet time himself, Blake probably wouldn’t be that long but the thought of soaking in the bath for a while in peace sounded like a good start to the afternoon and just what he needed after the little incident. Jasper turns and fills the bathtub, and while he waits he calls Ryan. He didn’t expect an answer but he wasn’t going to waste a chance, even if it was slim. He puts his phone on speaker and gets undressed, hopping in the bath and relaxing in the warm water while it filled up.

“Hey you.” Ryan’s answer was so unexpected it startles Jasper, who by this stage was use to listening to the phone ring out so much that he didn’t even tune into the sound of it ringing anymore.

“Ryan, what time is it? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Jasper asks.

“Sleep is for people who don’t have a boyfriend bouncing time zone to time zone all over the globe. How are you?” Ryan asks.

“I’m good, how are you?” Jasper asks, at the sound of Ryan’s voice he forgot all about what had happened.

“I’m not too bad actually. It’s been a busy day and I’m looking forward to getting naked and going to bed.” Ryan replies happily.

Oooh, wish you were getting naked and going to bed with me.” Jasper smiles to himself, running his hand softly over his own chest and closing his eyes to imagine it was Ryan touching him instead.

“What are you doing right now? There’s a lot of background noise, I can’t hear you too well.” Ryan tells him.

“Sorry, I’m running a bath.” Jasper answers.

“Glad to hear you’ve got some time to relax.”

“Yeah. Blake and I just got to the new hotel and he’s gone out to get a coffee so I’m taking advantage of some ‘me time’.” Jasper turns off the taps so he can hear Ryan easier.

So you’re naked and alone?” Ryan asks with an excitement in his voice. “That sounds like an opportunity we shouldn’t pass up for some fun.”

“Oh?” Jasper smirks. “Are you naked in bed yet?” He asks and suddenly the phone call ends. Jasper’s smirk fades to disappointment and he tries to call back, but the phone doesn’t even dial. “Never mind.” Jasper groans and slides under the water, submerging himself for a few moments before coming back up for a breath, he sweeps his wet hair out of his face and runs his hands over his face clensingly before his phone starts ringing again. He quickly answers again and puts it back on loud speaker. “Hello again.” Jasper answers.

“Sorry about that, lost reception for a moment.” Ryan tells him.

“Are you naked yet?” Jasper cuts right back to the point.

“Very eager, aren’t you?” Ryan chuckles.

“Aren’t you?”

“You have no idea.” Ryan answers, though considering it was his suggestion, he didn’t actually sound that interested, Jasper could hear him moving around and doing things in the background.

“Are you distracted or something? You sound busy.” Jasper sighs, he didn’t so much feel disappointed if Ryan was too busy to have ‘fun’ but he just wanted to at least talk to him without interruption for a while. It’d been so long since they had a proper phone call and each other’s undivided attention and he craved it so much. “If now isn’t a good time for you then...”

“I’m all yours now, I promise.” Ryan assures him, in a quieter voice.

“What’s the weather doing over there? No more freak storms?” Jasper asks, not even sure himself why he was going way off topic to ask this.

“Really? You’re asking me about the weather?” Ryan couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice.

“I know, shut up. I just really want to know when I can see your face again. Can we video chat? I just want to see your face.” Jasper admits sadly. As much as he wanted to enjoy this sexy phone call it was so far not going well for him and he already felt like he was too sad to commit to keeping the mood alive, at best he’d go along with it for Ryan’s enjoyment but he really only wanted to listen to his voice all night and pretend they were together.

“Just my face?” Ryan asks in a flirty tone.

“Unless you’re naked.” Jasper replies cheekily.

“Not yet, soon.” Ryan tells him. “So tell me, did you lock the bathroom door?” Ryan gives a heavy sigh as he asks, as though preparing himself for something.

“Random question. I closed it, so at the very least it’s not like Blake is just going to burst into the bathroom when the door is closed. Besides, he’ll be gone for a while so we don’t have to worry about him.” Jasper shrugs.

“Good.” Ryan replies then the bathroom door opens. “Because I’m not letting anything else keep us apart.” Ryan stands before him in the doorway.

@Copyright (2018), Claire Rosalind; All Rights Reserved.
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Awesome ending of a chapter that is exactly what Jasper needed.

That jerk that spat on Jasper was that random or did that a-hole know who Jasper was.The mere fact he was running away from Blake tells you all you need to know about him

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Good on Leo. I didn’t trust him for a while but if he was busy giving Ryan a lift he definitely gets some points for that. Guess there’s no harm in him being a little flirty as long as he knows where the line is and this goes beyond his job in my book showing that he wants what’s best for Jasper as a friend. I assume Blake has a surprise waiting for him too which is just what the doctor ordered for our boys. Can’t wait to see the reunions unfold and what happens next.

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