The Reluctant Master - 17. Chapter 17

Ernie

From Ernie: Eager to take ur load and drain all from ur cock. Dig on the semi-anonymous, in-the-dark type scenarios. leave the chit-chat at the door and just get into the hardcore nasty of it. Door unlocked, lights off & I’ll be eagerly waiting for you. Had a longtime boyfriend who trained me into the state of mind that his pleasure was my pleasure. So you shooting a load down my throat is all I need to be satisfied. Like to hook-up at night at my place. 39, 5'-10", 165, black/brown.

From Alan: You seem very sure of what you want. But I’m not as sure I’d be comfortable walking into a dark, unlocked house.

From Ernie: Ah, it’s safe, just let me know when. Usually available nights - the later the better...can u cum with ur cock down my throat? Heh!

From Alan: I’d rather keep my dick away from your teeth if I’m about to shoot. Just a safety measure.

From Ernie: there will be no teeth involved...i’m an expert...

From Alan: I’m sure you are. But if you suddenly lose control, I’m not sure I want anything vulnerable near your incisors.

From Ernie: i’ve never bit anyone anytime in my life...but u would have to be down my throat in order for me to swallow ur load when u cum...but maybe ur not really into that...

From Alan: When a guy’s dick is that far down your throat, aren’t you struggling for air?

From Ernie: nah, I can breathe through my nose. when can this happen?

From Alan: Good question. I can’t get away late at night. I’m married.

From Ernie: That’s so perfect. I fucking love irony! Ha! Awight, awright...just be in touch! Like now...1:00 am...perfect time!!!

From Alan: That’s what happens when you have a family. In my mind, I’m already with you. In practice, I may as well live a 1000 miles away. You have any other time free?

From Ernie: Ha! I usually go to work when it’s dark and come back almost at midnight. but if u can scoot in, say, 11:30, we could definitely knock off like a half hour and make it happen...

From Alan: I’d want to play for more than a half-hour.

From Ernie: Well in theory, I’m available now - altho’ I just got in and was lookin to relax for a second but...rrrrrrrrr

From Alan: Unfortunately, I’m about 5 minutes from sleep. So you may be revved, but I’m half in bed. Maybe you just find cocksucking more fun by the light of the moon.

From Ernie: i totally agree. i actually kind of like the darkness of the night. I mean - it doesn’t have to be pitch black out, but I dig the lights-out scenario - heh. so where, exactly, are you?

From Alan: Probably 15 minutes away

From Ernie: and u would like to get together but can’t, right?

From Alan: It would be great to see you. Your pictures are really hot. But you seem to be a vampire, and I live by day.

From Ernie: well, given the choice, I not only like the darkness of the night but I find it’s the one time where I’m not pre-occupied with daytime work/life things on my mind. At a certain point, my life may be in order enough where daytime is all good - but right now, it’s hard for me to sort of suspend myself in the middle of a work day. it’s not inconceivable but, like i said - given my druthers...

From Alan: It might be fun to suspend you in the middle of your work. Make for another hot picture.

From Ernie: well, if it makes it easier, I’d even go for 11...!!!

From Alan: We’ll have to wait till I don’t have a curfew. I’m sure you can find guys with looser schedules.

From Ernie: I’m not going to let you get off easy.

From Alan: I somehow didn’t think you would.

From Ernie: good, i almost needed to hear that! And wish i had more than just a description of you to go by. I wanna know what I’m going to be greeted with and it sorta keeps me salivating. got any shots of your dick?

From Alan: No, I’m strictly a well-dressed guy. But here’s one of my face.

From Ernie: ha - well u probably know what you’ve got on your hands with me...are you a top in your own personal relationship or is not even really a question of that cause u guys are just not that active or whatever...

From Alan: We are that active. Just fairly traditional.

From Ernie: right...ok...i guess i get it....

From Alan: I still want other things. Like so many assets, if you don’t use them, you forget how.

From Ernie: Not sure what ur makin reference to but don’t feel like you have to have ANYTHING SPECIAL for me. My purpose is to service you....you don’t have to worry about a thing...

From Alan: I know that about you. All I have to do is show up. Probably don’t even have to strip.

From Ernie: Yep, I’m that guy.

From Alan: You can feel in the dark. You don’t need to see.

From Ernie: Mmmmm....very exciting... and I would consider making some sort of exception - hmmm...actually, not sure I can.... was going to see about meeting earlier tonight but I have to be prepping for this meeting til around 7pm. so i guess it would only work if u could get out late. Or, super early like 4 am. that’s on the early side - ideally 5am. 5:30 on the late side. One gives u like an hour and the latter gives us just enough time to dump ur load down my throat...any of that work - really early morning?

From Alan: Early morning’s just as bad for me as late night – I’m supposed to be safely tucked in bed. And I’m not saying that meeting you is never going to happen. But I may just be looking at these 5 hot photos of you, over and over.

From Ernie: Ha! Thanx, mate...but how bout totally just shakin it up and suggesting that once a week or once a month you just go out separately and have ur own night out - no questions, no stories. U may do absolutely nothing. Or u may go out there and get blown. No harm done. Ur in love with your wife and have been and will be but it’s like goin’ out on a field trip to keep it interesting...it’ll have a very cool effect actually on the relationship. I was in mine for nearly 20 yrs!

From Alan: Nice thought, but I hope it’s not what ended your marriage. 20 years is a long time, and you seem to have started early.

From Ernie: no question about it; we’d still be together if it weren’t for the fact that this vibrantly healthy joyous magnetic man was taken completely out of the blue. tho’ it was tragically in his family, striking his mother at the same young age of like 37. He was diagnosed with cancer - a tumor, in the transverse colon that was inoperable. And he simply died less than 90 days later. A fucking tragedy. So young, seemingly healthy and doing beautiful work on the planet. I swear, i think it was some sort of conspiracy. he said he’ll get more work done actually on the other side - heh. My god. So anyway, yeah we were like toddlers when we met - ha! Beautiful, beautiful friendship and fucking insanely hot...omg. So...yeah...that’s part of the story. He got the love and got sort of addicted to it. Just kinda punch drunk happy - ha! Not without it’s tumult on & off - but anyway, that’s me story and I’m stickin with it!

From Alan: I’m glad you had those 20 years. A lot of guys don’t have that stability, and you know how many of the men on this site seem self-destructive. Considering your history, I’m surprised you’re not married again. There are clearly guys who deserve you.

From Ernie: No doubt, my man. And i thank you for the reminder. I have much love in my life but I don’t have a full-on relationship. I think that’s coming again. Frankly, I’m about to be in a new position that will reinstate me financially and in this world, that does make a difference. The last year & a half has been unexpectedly dismal in terms of earning power so I am very eager to be able to move ahead and, hopefully, I will. I actually have a bit of a disconnect between hot fuckin hardcore sex and that mentality I find myself slipping into in the evening and late at night... And in my normal daily state of mind, during my work and just in the midst of my social graces and the like, not only do I not drip sex... but I’m not sure i even put the vibe out there. I still even wonder if I should totally dismiss the idea of being with a woman. If it’s solely based on my inclinations - yeah, I’m gay, I guess - but, I definitely have something more going on. So like so many other things, it’s not clear cut & simple... that said let me know when we can turn out the lights and, as always, interested in your thoughts...and of course, your cock!!!! What can I say...I’m just built that way!

From Alan: I’m glad you know there’s a disconnect between the guy you presently are in the dark and the man you are fully dressed. I’m sure time – getting further past your partner’s death – and money – getting past your current financial slump – will ease that disconnect and set you back to matching up the two sides of your world. As for your being interested in women – I get you there. I used to think the fact I liked having sex with guys would keep me from marrying. But it turns out they weren’t related. Still, I don’t like cheating on my marriage, so I’ve been pulling back as much as I can.

From Ernie: Hearing that from u is actually strangely comforting. also the recognition of breaking into territory with u that is deeper and that has texture and what turns u on regardless of gender is very similar to me. It’s tough to get away from the hetero-paradigm... but there is something about the male psyche, the male energy, a certain flavor of dynamic that just continues to be a turn-on. It’s crazy. And I have this deep & abiding love for friends of mine (plural) that keeps me in this constant state of just amazing love... And there’s just so much going on - it really is an amazing time to be on the planet - scary as it is as well but...fuuuuuck - i just wanna get with someone right now...indulge my sensibilities and have the other person benefit in the process...ha! what a funny web we weave, eh?!!! I’m realizing ur quite something...heh! Y’like that endorsement?!!! Deeeeep... No, but u get where I’m coming from... As far as the future goes...I know what is possible...and then there’s always beyond that...! Sooooooooooo.... Hmmmm... Wattaya thinkn?!!!

From Alan: Your long experience has clearly let you know what’s possible. Many guys don’t seem to know that. And things have obviously improved in the last 40 years, in terms of how American society treats people. But all too often, the way gay men treat each other is still horrifying. It’s probably because of the kind of experience so many gay men our age and older had growing up. That’s why you seem interesting. First, you understand that sex is pleasure. Second, you can separate that from marriage, and you know that one doesn’t endanger the other. All of which confirms my feeling you’d be great fun to play with.

From Ernie: it’s just ur damn schedule - ha!

From Alan: At least, you have a place free. That’s often the sticking point with other guys.

From Ernie: ur thoughts must get away from u at some point... do u ever think about - given the choice - how u would be or what u would like if you made a different choice... so great to take the opportunity to jump into another persona... cause ur kinda locked in when ur partner pretty much knows who u r and r sort of expected to be a particular way...

From Alan: I kind of like being a certain way. I like feeling on track.

From Ernie: I very much relate to that. But I’ve discovered that many guys really lack the experience of connecting. Even the concept of holding on or just nestling with another is something that has been, you can just tell, kind of uncommon for them. To me, it’s as natural as anything else... soooo...yeah, I definitely engage in some of what you’re making reference to...

From Alan: You can’t always blame other men. Holding back sometimes seems part of being a guy.

From Ernie: fuuck...when u put it like that.......

From Alan: We have our weaknesses and strengths.

From Ernie: Well, I have to leave work around 6/6:30 tomorrow, to cook dinner for my aunt and uncle and do laundry. I missed the last couple of weeks because of some drama in the family... so I’m gonna be free earlier than my typical hook-up hour...like by 9:30. Normally, I just go back to work, but I could be available...

From Alan: That would be great, but I have a meeting with about 300 angry people. It’ll go to at least 10 PM. And I’m expected home immediately after.

From Ernie: It’s 1 AM, and I see you’re still online... if I could just beam my way across town and into your dark bedroom...

From Alan: My office would be better. In my bedroom, you’d meet my wife.

From Ernie: Ha! I wonder what else comes w/ that package...hmmm...

From Alan: Ah, yes, the moon comes up and so do you. Hope you’re playing around some, instead of just prowling online. Hate to think of all that good energy going to waste.

From Ernie: why thank you, my man...anytime I can come up alongside the moon it would be my pleasure... and u r right - I’ve been a little thick with other stuff but it’s time to break out a bit I’m thinking.

From Alan: Helps keep life in perspective.

From Ernie: and sex...

From Alan: That, too.

From Ernie: Keeping sex in perspective...uh-huh. There’s a subject. What perspective would you like to keep it in....?

From Alan: Sometimes, mainly, yours.

From Ernie: Well I only have one pic of u... wanna send me something else....just to keep extended interest intact?!!!

From Alan: OK, I may as well. Here I am without my stuffy suit.

From Ernie: oh i will most definitely delight in your body...it’ll be delicious...we should make it happen soon... time to step out at an unexpected time and get in trouble (or not)...

From Alan: One huge rule of my marriage is, "Don’t arouse suspicions." As long as I’m where I’m supposed to be, when I’m supposed to be there, I’m OK.

From Ernie: Awww, right - I understand! And I like how you put it, my man... it’s a good thing for you and I hope - it’s a great thing. I’m going to have to start looking at that again.

From Alan: Just don’t wait too long and lose all your good habits.

From Ernie: ahhhh, a wise man... my mom still wants me to have kids - ideally with a woman! And I go off of my instincts - be they a man or woman. The comfort zone is more with men than women but - it has been known to happen.

From Alan: Then let it, if you think you can maintain the interest. You did with your partner for 20 years.

From Ernie: And it was hot!!!

From Alan: Being married is great. So is having kids. It really does change your life.

From Ernie: Thanks for that response...I appreciate it. Everyone tells me kids change everything...and there’s just something logical about it. But I don’t want to hurt somebody and have to leave her.

From Alan: Then make sure you don’t. Make sure you can manage it without making anyone unhappy.

From Ernie: I may try.

From Alan: Just be careful.

From Ernie: I may do that.

From Alan: It’s a huge change. Far bigger than you imagine.

From Ernie: I’m ready for a challenge...

From Alan: Then go for it.

From Ernie: I may do that...there’s a whole lot more goin on w/ this guy that noone knows. I just have to make up my mind - men or women!!!!