The Reluctant Master - 27. Chapter 27

Shain

From Shain: hi there, visiting Iowa City next week....

From Alan: Great place to be, and right now, the weather’s good.

From Shain: I’m just going on a visit. where are you?

From Alan: Cedar Rapids, about a half-hour north. Been here before?

From Shain: No, but I’ve visited friends in Illinois.

From Alan: It’s not that different.

From Shain: I always miss the midwest till I start eating the food.

From Alan: Got to learn to cook.

From Shain: Mmm. let me know if you want to meet up

From Alan: I’m married. You need to know that. So I mostly keep my clothes on and explore other guys’ bodies. If you’d like to stretch out comfortably in your hotel room for a couple of hours and let me play, let me know.

From Shain: very nice. I would like that. What works well for you weekday or weekend? I’ll be here for 3 days. Then I can tell you when.

From Alan: Just now, a weekday, early in the week. But next week, the only night I’m free is Tuesday. Another week-or-so, my schedule loosens up.

From Shain: I won’t be there Tuesday, this might not work out. Anyway just got a hit from a guy in Iowa City.

From Alan: What’s his name?

From Shain: Beardog. Why?

From Alan: Let me check if I know him. Have you written a lot of guys here, prepping for your trip?

From Shain: some...

From Alan: He’s cute, but younger than anyone I’d write

From Shain: He is cute and I emailed him. I’ll let you know if he responds. Thanks

From Alan: And let me know about your adventures. Safe trip.

From Shain: I also just got this note, unsolicited, from BDinDM: "Hello Sir my name is Wynn, what are you ? Are you good at bondage ? i am seeking a Master to serve. A master that will blindfold me and tie me tight and clamp my nipples and then Use me as he wishes."

From Alan: I get notes from guys almost every time I’m online. But I also roam the world on this site, so most are from guys I could never meet. And despite the university in Iowa City, there’s only a small pool of gay men here – especially men interested in this site. You know it’s not for dating.

From Shain: I’m realizing that.

From Alan: Where do you live?

From Shain: Sacramento... you know where that is?

From Alan: Yeah.

From Shain: It’s kind of a small city.

From Alan: It has almost the population of Iowa.

From Shain: You’re joking?

From Alan: I just checked.– 2 million vs 3 million.

From Shain: Which is larger?

From Alan: Iowa.

From Shain: I had no idea. I wonder if it’s as conservative.

From Alan: Easily.

From Shain: I thought you allowed gay marriage... way before us.

From Alan: Iowa has liberal areas. And in the wealthier ones and the more educated cities like Des Moines, the numbers can support something like that. But a lot of people in this state are pretty conservative. It’s very much a small town state. Also, one reason people approved gay marriage, even if they don’t agree with it, is they believe in independence. They like to think they’re forward-thinking. That’s why they covet being the first state to hold the presidential primaries.

From Shain: I remember that.

From Alan: Still, that doesn’t mean I’d choose to be a sexually active young gay man living in Iowa today, and you’re only 26. A lot of the guys who can move on, do that.

From Shain: Thanks for this info. It definitely sounds like a very nice state but I’m going for an interview and whether i want to live there is uncertain especially after CA. It seems there are not too many gay men online from Iowa period.

From Alan: No, there are never too many guys from Iowa on this site, so you see the same ones over and over. Or else they’re here once and quickly disappear. And I didn’t realize you were thinking of moving here. Iowa City would be great because of the university, and there’s obviously a higher proportion of young gay men there. Des Moines might also be OK because there’s a long-established insurance industry. And I’m not saying that guys in other parts of Iowa are less intelligent or less well educated, but they certainly do seem to be less sophisticated than guys you’d meet in Sacramento or San Francisco. So it depends on what you want. I’m comfortable. I feel very safe. And I settled back here at close to your age. I never thought I would, but I’m glad I changed my mind. In any case, good luck. It’s always better to turn down a job than not have it offered – especially once you decide it’s something you want.

From Shain: Thanks for that information too. I have a week left before I leave and it is just an interview. i will let you know.

From Alan: Then have a good trip, and you can ask any further questions once you’re home. As I said, you should be seeing the place while the weather’s good. Spring and fall are fine. Summer’s hot, and the thunderstorms can be like fireworks. Winter’s warmer than states north, but it can be cold.

From Shain: At this point I am open to check it out but not so keen on leaving CA or my current job.

From Alan: Got it. In 3 days, you won’t have a chance to talk with many local gay men. But I suppose you can do that online if the job seems interesting.

From Shain: Are you married (that is what I thought) I would consider that dating men in Sacramento has been more of a challenge than any other place I’ve known. It is a very race and status conscious place.

From Alan: Yes, I’m married – I thought I told you that – but not as any kind of cover. I like being married. And Iowa might be status conscious, though I’m less aware of it being race conscious, maybe because we have a more limited mix. And it’s getting better. And maybe I lose track of status because of people’s other concerns. But gay men seem more relaxed on the coasts, East or West, than they do here. They can get away with a lot here that they couldn’t even 20 years ago, so I’ll say it’s better. But I don’t hang out with guys your age, so I don’t honestly know. And I prefer being with mixed groups, so I’m not very affected by the behavior of just gay guys. Especially in the way you’d be, since you’re still dating.

From Shain: True. You are so cool and I like listening to you. I agree gay men need to learn more respect towards each other while dating, like str8 men have had to towards women for a long time. How did you meet your wife and when, and would you have married her if you were my age now? You are lucky, for you have what I want in the future but with a man. In any case, I prefer to chat with decent men such as you. People who have issues of status or color are not my cup of tea. I walk away from them. Thank you for sharing.

From Alan: Thanks. It’s good talking with you, too. I met my wife after I moved back here after I got my Master’s. That was in Michigan. I started teaching and coaching and taking classes for yet another degree, and she was at the university. We hit it off. Once that happened, I stopped being as active with guys as I had been, but I’m not sure she ever knew too much of my history. Even though I always seemed to be having sex in undergrad and grad school, I did it with guys living nearby or with townies. My college friends were always straight. And that tells you more about my limits than anything else. But my wife and I both want a lot of the same things. It’s a pretty great relationship, and I’d rather be with her than almost anyone else. Still, we have points where our interests overlap and points where they don’t. I’m less analytic. She’s flat out more intelligent, but I’m far more competitive. So, overall, go figure.

From Shain: What a nice story. That is a lesson for me. Sometimes men are not what they seem. In the future, I’ll try to remember that. I’m glad you found your wife. I hope I’ll find as interesting a husband. Or he’ll find me. I am also gonna be more patient and try and try until I win. Anyway off to bed now. I’ll be in Iowa next week. Sorry we won’t get to meet – and not just for the sex.

From Alan: One last thing – a close friend of ours is dating again. She’s a straight woman our age, and she never seems to give guys a chance. I look over the profiles on the online site she uses and pick out decent men, and she rejects them all. She always has good reasons, but I think they’re a little premature. And we’ve met some of the guys she’s dated and subsequently rejected, and some of them are pretty nice, too. But she’s looking for someone who’s exactly what she wants. She’s come close a couple of times, but the guys haven’t been as interested in her. Still, she keeps dating, which I admire her for, and it’s what you’ve got to do. Though it wouldn’t hurt to be a little less picky, looking for possible strengths, not obvious faults. Fortunately, I’ve always been interested in intelligent, straight-forward people, and looks and gender came second. So I can tell when I’m connecting with someone. And I’ve made a number of long-lasting friends from people I’ve dated, including the woman I just told you about.

From Shain: Thanks. That was a very good example. That is not my case. I try to look for good in men. However, I do have certain basic requirements that I need to have met. Like I want to be able to enjoy my partner without worrying that he might ever hurt me in any way. Other than that I am cool. The doors are open and so is my mind. I will be in touch after my trip but since it’s a late evening flight back, I’ll get right to bed after I get in. So it make take a couple of days.

From Alan: No rush. Enjoy your interview. And try to talk with as many people as you can if you’re serious about moving here.

From Shain: Absolutely. Cheers.