The Reluctant Master - 30. Chapter 30 -- Part 1

Caged – Part 1

Into role-play, dom/sub interaction, chastity devices, wrestling, sport/military gear, verbal teasing and humiliation, edging, more. Got hot for kink after visiting a club in Berlin, no kid. PICS TAKEN RECENTLY (yesterday to 15 months ago). Currently in longterm lockup in steel cock cage. Looking for learning and interaction around that. Like men who are confident, dominant, verbal, and like to train or guide. Also love role-play (nerd/jock, etc) and anything imaginative.
Interested in meet-ups and events with like-minded guys, and am good on follow-through. Prefer my age or younger. Happily in a relationship so just here for random safe fun. Stats: 36, 5'11", 160 pounds, brown hair and eyes, hairy arms and legs, caged dick. Definitely young looking for my age.

From Alan: Hope you’re having fun being locked in. From what I understand, it’s both a pleasure and a trial. Did you lock yourself in, as some guys do, or are you following orders?

From Caged: fun, with occasional breaks. I set a duration and boyfriend keeps the key until then.

From Alan: Was it your boyfriend’s suggestion or yours? The problem is sometimes the most fun I have is edging guys and showing them things about slowing down their bodies they didn’t know. You know you can easily be aroused, even locked down, and you could probably shoot, soft. But that’s a mess to clean up.

From Caged: The cage was a surprise gift for my boyfriend. The moment he saw it, he loved it and loves me in it, though he likes to give me release sometimes when he decides too. I really appreciate the slowing down part. My bf is pretty quick. But I can easily go two or three hours – I stay very aroused in general, I just have no need to cum. Fortunately, I have some "friends with benefits" that play (use me) with a lot of patience and enjoyment.
I really enjoy focusing on pleasing the man I’m with. There’s no need for me to cum except for health reasons. And yes, my bf and I now really enjoy the "no mess" part.

From Alan: I once had sex with a guy who finished up our pleasant afternoon by cracking "Sex is so messy."
Glad you and your boyfriend are having fun, and you’ve discovered the pleasures of slowing down. Another guy taught me that, not that I was a racer. He was studying a kind of zen massage, which would now mostly be described as edging, and I was his dummy. One of my favorite activities from both sides, but very few guys have the focus this guy did.

From Caged: Dick chastity has provided a ton of amazing memorable experiences. Imagination was certainly a part of that, though in some cases a man might just be very skilled with his tool.
And, yep, being forced to think about the other naked guy is always useful. But that’s just good manners anyway.
The biggest change: In the past, when faced with a naked guy, I would typically evaluate him and think about what I wanted to do. Now I think about how to best meet his needs. An example is cock size. Before I would be disappointed by a small penis. Now I get imaginative about how to please a man even when he’s soft. In fact, by focusing entirely on his needs, I’m actually much more satisfied afterward.

From Alan: Absolutely. It’s a lot more fun to play with another guy’s body and see what makes it go. Partly because you already know your own body. Partly, because as he unwinds, you’re along for the ride. Only he’s bucking so hard, he doesn’t realize that.

From Caged: The biggest complement was the guy who said giving him a BJ made him shed tears (of pleasure).

From Alan: Tears of pleasure are nice. A guy grinning for a couple of hours as his body loses control is also fun. You seem to be learning a lot that you now have time to think about. Must make your boyfriend very happy.

From Caged: I journal my experiences to keep learning. A lot of it is about setting aside ego and also the practical tips for being a better bottom.
I really appreciate that my BF likes me in dick chastity and is patient easing me into it and allowing me to play with other men sometimes. And after being locked for a week or three, his cock makes me very happy!

From Alan: After two weeks of being locked in, I suspect a dog, licking your hand, would make you very happy. But it’s better that your boyfriend has that pleasure. What gave him the idea of locking you in?
Also, I meant to tell you when you mentioned journaling: if you want to read a sad/funny book about gay men, chase down Numbers on the web. John Rechy. One of the first porn novels I read. Mix that with what Arthur Schnitzler wrote, and you’ve got my life.

From Caged: LOL. Cute! About the dog! And, yeah, the constant energy and joy is a huge plus. How we started: For too long I got into jerking off to porn and wasn’t into sex. So I took a chance, got a cage, and surprised my BF... and he loved me in it! Maybe I got the idea from the web? Weirdly, I don’t recall. It’s been perfect for me. I’ve got a virgin penis, so what was to lose? And as we push the duration for days to weeks, it’s been a mind fuck. Sex is amazing. Yes, I’m more horned up. Also, my attention has shifted a lot. Like, my BF cums for both of us and I really notice every detail as he’s cumming. Even outside the bed, I’m more attentive and supportive, considering his needs more often.
Also I found “Numbers.” Thanks. His writing style is similar to how I write up my stories – as a series of detailed encounters. Though I write in the first person. Partly, I’m preserving my experiences, especially ones I might forget. And partly, they’re coming together as an anthology of my journey into dick chastity and learning my passion and gift as a submissive bottom. Some of them are pretty personal and I still know the guys. Like one is now married for years has 4 boys and is by his own admission maybe 80% straight. As my friend, he popped my cherry and showed me that I’m gay. Probably wouldn’t share that out of respect for him though of course it was the second story I wrote up. Just had to. I had every minute and act of that night in my head for almost 15 years. Again, thanks!

From Alan: Being constantly aroused for an extended period can give you a certain kind of natural high if you’re aware enough to channel it. It just makes some guys dangerous, and, personally, I have to be very careful not to do something stupid. So I don’t let myself get that way.
What I like about Numbers, though the sexual politics are way off now – it was published in the late 60s – is its emotional truth. There’s more overt sex in porn now, and it’s all videos on the web because who reads? Also, the book almost seems instructively written for straight folks. It’s like Rechy realized any gay guy knew this stuff, so why would they read about it? But I was just a kid in fairly isolated Iowa, and the book was set in sophisticated LA, so this was all new. After 50 years, times have happily changed, and gay men can be looser – way looser. Also, there’s more diversity. I think every guy in that book is white. Of course, so much of porn, straight and gay, is white.

From Caged: The natural high is great, and beyond exercise and sex and chores, I’m wondering how to best channel it. Oh, to harness the drive of a 17 year old with the experience of an adult. I do get relief from bringing another man to orgasm, but after a few hours I’m ready to go again. I’m curious, what do you mean that it makes some guys dangerous? Is there a story there?

From Alan: The story unfortunately is called rape, and it happens all too often, with straight and gay men. Going back to something more pleasant, what do you do with your journals?

From Caged: The background of “Numbers” is interesting. That obsession with age. About what you said about race, I’m only attracted to and been with european and middle eastern guys, all white. Not attracted to anything else, though I do enjoy watching black top / white bottom porn. I wonder how many straight folks want to read the details of gay sex, though some might wonder, and I’ve found at least one online site for straight women who enjoy gay porn, though more soft core. I recall once watching a woman totally get hot as she watched a straight guy and a gay guy flirt (all 3 were college students) as part of an improv acting thing. So I totally believe it. I can’t watch straight porn (because of how the women are used), but do enjoy straight lovemaking scenes in books where I can imagine being the woman.
Come to think of it, I was first exposed to gay through straight porn. It was suburbia in the early 90s (no Internet, etc). The guy showed me a straight porn magazine and asked if I could do what the woman was doing. There were instructional pictures and text. So I guess books and magazines can be very informative!
I will send you some of the journal entries I’ve turned into short stories.

From Alan: I’m attracted to a lot of different guys. Maybe it’s my background. I try to make the world more inclusive, and I think that changed the way I think. I grew up in a white world, and when I started to teach, the system was mostly that way. Now there’s more balance, but it still tips heavily white. That doesn’t explain why so much of porn is white-focused, seeing the world isn’t, but maybe that tells you who’s watching. I don’t enjoy it. I’d much rather spend my time with someone.
And you took me way off track: the most important thing I wanted to say tonight is I’d like very much to see some of your writing. I wasn’t going to ask directly because I thought you wanted to keep it private, possibly only to be shared with your boyfriend.

From Caged: I’ve sent you two episodes that I wrote up. There are more if you’re interested, and a few I haven’t quite turned into stories yet. They’re pretty "lite," like 2 to 5 pages each.
When I asked you how some guys might get dangerous, rape never occurred to me. I never penetrated even before chastity. Being super horny might make me desperate to say yes to something I shouldn’t, and that would be dangerous. But now that you mention it, yeah, I can see it happens.

From Alan: Thanks for the two pieces. They’re very good. I don’t know what you do for a living, but you sure write well. When you get a couple more, you should post them on a blog, maybe password protected, so only your friends can read them.

From Caged: Thank you. I don’t know if I have enough memorable sex experiences to write a ton, but who knows.
I tried writing about my first time. That was hard and I stopped and put it aside. It was a pretty good experience that I wanted more of, but it so shaped who I am, and was not entirely appropriate, that it’s sort of scary.
There are one or two stories that I wouldn’t post out of respect. The guy I wrote you about who’s mostly straight and married now was truly the friend who laid me for my own good to get me out of the closet. It’s not that I’d "out" his experience, it’s that I truly love and respect what he did for me as very special. Speaking of which, writing + chastity have certainly highlighted how much I LOVE being on the receiving end of a man, both physically and psychologically. Anyway, I’ll send you a couple more stories.

From Alan: Thanks. They’re fun to read. And I’m not suggesting you go out and have sex so you can write about it. But it’s sometimes good to remember what you’ve done.

From Caged: Sent em

From Alan: And they were both nice. Thanks. Though the main character’s experience doesn’t seem to track from your other stories, if I remember correctly. I’d go back and check, but I deleted the stories after I read them, to respect your privacy.
I know what you mean about some experiences being too personal. I’d never talk about my wife. But maybe it’s an influence of teaching that makes me think some sharing would be instructive. I’m always amazed how misinformed kids are, and not just about sex.

From Caged: Yes, I gave you stories out of order. Glenn is my first post-middle school sex experience while Justin was just a couple years ago. The earlier stories were in-between. I would put them in chronological order on a blog.
BTW, I’ve been chatting with a guy in Australia who is early in his chastity journey and that inspired me to start writing a series of articles. One of my friends is a psychologist who writes articles on issues related to gay men and sex, so I might hand off these to him or just share them when relevant. Of course, my journey is far from over. I may do a poll or brief interviews of some kind for anyone who’s interested.
Oh, I’ve started to think about the themes present in the stories. But I may wait to do a few more before diving into analyzing them. That is another benefit of journaling!

From Alan: It’s not just the order of the stories you sent. The facts within them don’t seem consistent.
On the subject of chastity: just out of curiosity, I checked, and there are all kinds of stories on the web. Particularly about guys in extended chastity.

From Caged: Thank you for deleting the stories. That’s very considerate. Two of the stories were written recently and the other two a few years ago. Since I’d like the narrator to be consistent, please feel free to point out discrepancies or threads that I leave hanging (ahem, LOL).
Enjoying my chats from Australia. This guys’s about a month into not cumming and he says it’s “like he’s flying." I’ve only done half that but it’s a great metaphor! And on the occasions when my BF jacks me off, I feel "like someone had died." At the same time, it’s a challenge to keep a clear head for serious work, though I believe it’s possible, at least for hours at a time. (and I notice, the longer I go, the more interactions with people become easier.)

From Alan: If you send me the four stories again, I’ll try to remember what I found inconsistent.

From Caged: Sent em again.

From Alan: I found one of my problems: "Master Mark" is role play – the narrator isn’t still 14 and Mark isn’t 18. As the story went on, I got so caught up in the details, I forgot the guys were actually adults.
Also, the fact that the narrator clearly knows he’s gay at 14 and learns from Mark that he’s specifically a bottom fights with what he learns from at 21. In that story, at 21, he’s still dating women, and Glenn both gives him his first experience with a guy and then has to tell the narrator that he should consider himself gay. So it seems like information the narrator long ago learned.

From Caged: Thank you for the feedback. It’s very clear and helpful. What a compliment that you got caught up in the story! What I will do, besides ensuring I share them in order in the future, is to add my age as a little subtitle or such at the start of each one. After all, I’ll eventually have a story at the actual age 14 too, and the goal is to cover 36 years of my life – well from 14 on.
I read another story online with a lovely ending. In particular, it’s about how a guy’s chastity game is a semi-conscious way of trying to deal with various issues – from his oddly sexless marriage to yearning for excitement and freedom like in his youth. I too understand that my foray into dick chastity is a way of dealing with various issues. The only thing I hated was the guy peeing on himself near the end. I’m not sure what that was compensating for.

From Alan: Some guys like to piss on themselves, and I’ve been with at least one who wanted me to piss on him. I couldn’t do it. The self-hating pop psychology seems too easy, but the guy insisted he just liked the warmth on his chest, and it made him come with no hands. I respect that, but I told him to find another guy. Otherwise, we had a nice time.
As for your own writing: an age tag on each story might help. One of the things I used to teach – when kids were lost in classic lit – is it’s part of a writer’s job to help readers follow along. Also, I know there are stories you don’t want to share, and I think the one about Glenn is one of them. But it’s so pivotal to the narrator’s maturing that if you’re going to leave it out, you might think of a way to mention that a very private experience changed the focus of the narrator’s life.

From Caged: Yes, Glenn is one of the encounters I wouldn’t share. Too bad really since he so impacted my life. We’re still best buds.
Have lots of notes on 2 or 3 recent sex episodes with me caged. So want the time to write!
Order of episodes from age 21 to age 36:
Amazing Glenn
Master Mark
Desert Reggie
Gentle Justin
I just read another chastity story online and it was tough. The content veered into stuff I dislike (e.g. scat) and the character became ever more pathetic. I even skimmed some pages in the middle but I kept at it, trusting it was going somewhere.
One thing – it was interesting to see a Master portrayed in a healer role. I’ve never seen that. And even the small progress the “patient” made was a step in a better direction. Lots of ideas there, like utilizing a man’s existing resources/strengths, redirecting his attention, assigning him stuff that’s worse before it gets better, and testing his limits.
I was sort of reminded of Lars Van Trier’s "Breaking the Waves,” where the audience is led to really want to give up on the main character, but in the end, even when most viewers probably have, we see that God hasn’t given up. (In the story I read the Master was playing the role of God.)

From Alan: Thanks for sending me the link. I had to skim a lot, too, and the main thing that kept me going was you got through it. Even as a kid, I gave up on The Story of O because I hated how it treated women.
But I’ll bet a lot of that online story’s true. It seemed confessional. And I keep having to remind myself that all these guys don’t hate themselves, and they aren’t trying to self-destruct. The just like the feel of warm piss on their chests and the feel and smell of squishy shit.

From Caged: I forget that too, especially when it comes to scat.
Put into new custom steel cage today. Super comfy. Elegant. Allows a little more stimulation than my plastic cage.

From Alan: Thanks for the photo and the tease. That’s a very pretty cage, as is the toy locked inside – and I almost never comment on a guy’s dick. There’s part of me that still wants to play with it, just to see what it can do in its perpetually-aroused-but-physically-soft state. First, I’d have to get your interest and your and your boyfriend’s permission, and I’m not sure which of those comes first.

From Caged: That’s sweet, thank you, and nicely put. Love the word "toy", as in:
– the phrase, "boys and their toys"
– a small, fun object to play with
– not the real thing
Since my penis is still virgin, I suppose it will never graduate to the real thing. LOL
I don’t need my BF’s permission, though I’m sensible and discrete and respect him. That said, I only play with guys younger than me.
Really lovely wording: "perpetually aroused but physically soft." Don’t mind if I steal that for some future story?

From Alan: You can steal anything I write you for a story if you explain why you only play with younger guys. That’s not any pressure on my part: I’d rather have you as a friend than as a one-time playmate. It’s just that I still learn from guys older than I am.

From Caged: I really enjoy our chats about writing and psychology. Your question is yet another example. Hmm, why do I prefer younger guys? My job puts me a lot with college age guys, which can be a little too young at times but I love their energy, health, and openness (when approached the right way).
I myself look quite young for my age. Maybe late 20s, maybe mid.
Too young can be boring. 30s are great. 40s maybe as a stretch if the guy has stayed in shape. You have but I also like darker guys. Generally, older means more skilled while younger has more energy. But Justin (from my story) was A+ and he was only 19.
Anything in the prime of life...
I think, overall, I am enamored with the young warrior archetype and there’s little reasoning with the limbic system beyond that.

From Alan: I doubt I’d go near any guy in his 20s, and only if he seemed interesting to talk with. Mostly, I prefer guys from their mid-30s up, presently with no limit, but I’ve been wrong. Mostly, I hate liars.

From Caged: Every man has his hero inside. And young guys may not know how to express that hero, but I can usually find it and either speak to it in a way that wakes their interest (or scares them), or wakes the equivalent part of myself. Did a bit of both with a 26 year old recently. I got so much from it. It’s about highlighting and leveraging similarities and contrasts. There’s a straight kid I run into 4 days a week. He’s maybe 20. He’s got a great masculine energy and a solid head for business and will likely do well there in the future. He’s wired a certain way and I’d love to absorb some of that how-to, that energy, that way of being in the world. Maybe it’s the same reason I’m no extrovert but I find foreign cultures easy to get and enjoy.

From Alan: I spend a lot of time around high school students, and the older ones are pretty close to college kids. For me, showing interest in their bodies, instead of who they are, seems predatory. In fact, at my age, looking at anyone under 30 seems predatory.

From Caged: I’ve had fun with two students, entirely after the course I occasionally teach. They were both so soft and lovely and, alas, also inexperienced and hesitant. Mostly it’s not sexual. I just really love being a mentor for younger guys, especially since I get very smart and ambitious ones. In practice I end up with guys in their 30s.
My BF has many wonderful qualities but he’s eager only every 2 or 3 days, likes only one thing, and then lasts only about 10 minutes whereas I like to go an hour or more. C’est la vie. That’s what play dates are for.

From Alan: I sometimes think I only know one thing to do. That’s true in the broadest sense, because I really like to explore a guy’s body. But it’s different for every guy and depends on what I find while exploring. Like you, I’m happiest at a couple hours, but a lot’s changed as I get older. I keep thinking I’ll stop playing around, and I’d often rather not be. But, as you said, it’s a different energy with guys.
It sounds like you teach much brighter students than I’m generally around. Public high schools are great levelers, and, at first, I was in a very narrow sector. Fortunately, athletes don’t have to be academically bright to be good at what they do.

From Caged: Reminds me that perhaps I should add some aphrodisiacs to my BF’s diet.
My BF has many wonderful qualities but he doesn’t exude any of that corn-fed American alpha jock charm that tends to get me hot in my cage. LOL

From Alan: The problem with corn-fed jocks is they’re often hard to talk with. I’m betting your boyfriend doesn’t have that fault.

From Caged: My BF is funny, bright, educated, creative, caring, very good with people, and has traveled/lived around the world. A wonderful life partner.
Thing is, particularly as my priorities change in life, there’s this other kind of guy: very creative, a self-made businessman, fun loving and risk-taking, athletic, outdoorsy and likes to travel, wears a baseball cap to his office meetings, loves learning about science, is spiritual, loves sex. I’ve met a couple of these guys. We’d never last when younger, but we get on well now. Really tough balancing act to walk as each partner changes in life.

From Alan: For me, the balance comes in giving myself a little freedom to explore while maintaining a permanent emotional base. Mostly, I can be honest with my wife, but sometimes not. But I’m never going to fall in love with a guy because that would mean leaving my marriage, and it would be impossible for me to maintain any balance without it.

From Caged: Emotional balance is good to keep in mind. Thanks for the advice.
Now in week 5 of chastity. My longest single stretch w/o orgasm. I suppose at some point I might stop counting or thinking about it, simply accepting caged as the new normal... not sure I’m there yet. Horny as fuck. LOL... Fortunately, I have some time this weekend to start writing again.

From Alan: I can’t go alone for more than a week, and a delay like that mostly has to do with scheduling. I need contact with someone, even sleeping close together. Still, as long as you’re having fun.
It should be interesting to see how you write at this stage. Did you get anything done?