The Reluctant Master - 32. Chapter 30 -- Part 3

Caged – Part 3

From Alan: “The Beach” is interesting. It wanders a bit in ways I hadn’t noticed in your writing before, maybe because your other stories all focus on sex, which gives them a built-in tension. Mostly, it seems like a lead-in to your having sex with the main character. Whether that happened or not, it might need to in order for the story to have the same power as your others. Also, in order to make room for the sex, some of the side stories may need to be edited. Maybe you could spin them out separately. But don’t lose the ambiance. The casual mix of guys and the details about their lives is terrific.

From Caged: I was aiming for an erotic non-sexual story, in part to share with that writer friend, and in part to stretch myself. I may chat with him tomorrow and certainly, some of the feedback may involve cutting less relevant stuff.

From Alan: Please let me know what happened with the feedback.

From Caged: He really enjoyed the story and the various threads running through it. He suggests a couple more chapters, allowing those threads to develop, and then go back and consider what fits well, or not, and what needs a tad more development. I did in fact have sex with the main character and I’ll see him again in a few weeks when I’m back in San Diego. Though chapters on these meetings would be similar. My writer friend sympathized with my desire to appeal to a wider audience and said he was definitely hooked to read more (and remember he’s straight).
I’ve been writing very intensely this week, almost 20,000 words, but all for business projects. I can’t always pick the intersections between my creative bug and the real life to-do list.

From Alan: Interesting that both your friend and I think the beach story is still evolving and that what you’ve written is just the start.
Nothing wrong with making money writing for business. Good to have that career.

From Caged: Hooked up this morning with Andre again, this time for a quickie cos we both had stuff to do. A nice surprise: he easily penetrated without lube. Not usual for me. Also, for first time, acknowledged my cage by teasing me playing footsie with it for a while. I was hoping he’d cum in me this time but I suspect he wants that to be a culmination of a long session and I’ll trust he knows best.
Btw, he’s a sound tech on the local news, never on camera.

From Alan: Glad you’re seeing Andre. As I said, he seems to make you happy.

From Caged: Yeah, and there’s zero chance of emotional involvement. Here’s another video I thought you might enjoy, the second half in particular is just hot.

From Alan: I’ll look at it soon. Thanks. School keeps getting busier.

From Caged: My straight erotica writer friend (is there an acronym for that?) sent me specific feedback on the beach story last night though I haven’t looked at it yet.
Was in Sacramento last weekend and hooked up for 2 hours with a hot 23 y/o blond dude (prob military). He said he was vers/btm but was A+ as dom top; somewhat different than Andre (more into spanking and foot worship and generally aggressive). But really skilled. I took notes and will write it up.
Flying to Atlanta for a few days. Was too pussy to do pat down with my cage so I took it off and then put it back on right after. Was really weird. I didn’t want to remove it. Reminded me when I put on a cage for the first time, I knew I’d be wearing one for the rest of my life. Felt relieved to have it back on and feel safe again.

From Alan: You do have some adventures. It might be fun to do the pat down with the cage on, just to see what it does to you emotionally. But you may risk your flight, or they may ask you to strip.

From Caged: I’ve witnessed a bit of negativity with law enforcement types so prefer to avoid that. But to truly embrace dick chastity, I may need to get over it.
I suspect people working as security staff at airports are pretty conservative, so if they see some guy packing metal in his shorts, they’ll want to investigate. I think you’re right to be very cautious for the 10 or so minutes it involves being out of chastity.
I’ve read a metal cage is handled the same way a Prince Albert is; they’d pull me aside to a private room and i’d show it to them.

From Alan: Guess it all depends if you’d enjoy that.
I’ve been meaning to tell you: thanks for the video of those Swedish guys.

From Caged: That’s a great way to think about it: to elicit a smile on my face while they squirm.
In the video, I love how the man puts his hand lovingly on the boy’s head, patting him for a good job, and I love the boy’s subtle smile as he moves his lips gently over the man’s spunk-covered cock head. Also nice that we don’t see the boy’s prick so I can imagine him caged.

From Alan: I hardly think either of those guys is much past his early 20s, so it’s hard calling one of them a man. But I know what you mean. And I liked the tenderness, too.

From Caged: Reached day 30 with no wet orgasms.

From Alan: Except for the fact that you’re better balanced than the guy in one of those chastity stories you sent me – the ones online, not something you wrote – you seem to be sharing some of his experiences.
How have you been? Are you still traveling, or were you only in Atlanta for a few days? Are you back visiting San Diego? I’ve been too busy at work to follow.

From Caged: I’m home. Was in Atlanta, San Diego then Portland and leave for Sweden tomorrow for a week. Just prepping to be away seems to take a week! Have "gone quiet" to get stuff done. That said, had some more nice romps with Andre. Bought a leather paddle for spanking, among other things. He liked that, although he liked me in the blindfold more. We finally got to the point to "share fluids" (well, I won’t be sharing but he is). It was a joyous experience first time. Only some minor writing on my part, no new stories yet. Although it’s been fun also looking forward to a break and/or trying some other dudes, preferably one with a fairly different look (taller than I am, pretty hairy) and dominant of course. Also challenging myself to engage guys online for conversation that would have been too challenging in the past in terms of me having enough experience. Anyway, back next Sunday.

From Alan: Enjoy your trip. Coincidentally, we just had an administrator visiting from Sweden , and besides the official meetings and district observations, my wife and I got to spend several evenings with her. So many different approaches to the same goals.
Taking a break from your writing and going out to seek adventures seems like a better idea than imagining sex. Challenges are almost always useful.

From Caged: Hi! I’m back again. Mostly busy catching up on work projects: writing, email, and computer programs. Fun halloween in football gear; had mushrooms with some straight friends.
Had fun with Andre a couple times, including last night. Each time we bring a little something extra, like a black pen last night for him to write on my ass before pounding me. He did me so good I slept 10 hours. LOL. Very fun. And that’s about it! Haven’t gotten back to erotic writing yet. It’s definitely on my list.

From Alan: You don’t need erotic writing as long as you have erotic living. I’m very busy, which keeps me focused on useful things. Looking forward to Christmas break.

From Caged: I hear you. I love teaching but there’s always a point when I can’t wait for summer session to end.
Last night I hooked up with a 28 year old IT guy, here for some consulting. He wanted some teen-student and coach role-play. I wanted to oblige. He was at a nearby hotel, so I walked there, and on the way I found myself trailing behind a teenaged boy and imagined what it would be like to be him, to get myself in the mood. The hotel was nice and I waited in the lobby for him. I had a black shopping bag of goodies to play with and felt a little like an escort. He retrieved me. He looked and smelled amazing. In his room, his stuff was thrown all over, which feels manly – I generally dislike fastidious guys. He was very firm, telling me what to do, and also gentle. He wanted me to strip but then had me keep my jock on while worshiping his pits, feet, balls, cock, and ass. I’m not so much into ass but I really love pits and his amazing musk got me extra horny.
We did some role-play talk. He was a coach and I was in chastity to make me stick to my studies. He knows I steal glimpses of boys in the locker room and am a fag but still a virgin (since in real life, I really am, that was easy to imagine). It was fun play. Then he lovingly teased my "cunt" with his cock and fucked me. He wasn’t quite as big as I’d like, but big enough. He really held me tight and close and whispered in my ear. Since he was recently tested, I felt it was safe for him to cum in me. His body tensed and quivered as he came, to his great satisfaction.
He was jet-lagged and ready to sleep but he asked me a few questions as I dressed about life in chastity. He said he still needed to jerk off twice a day, but wondered if some guys like me were more constitutionally fit for chastity, which is likely so. I briefly described prostate massage – my usual route to orgasm. He said he hoped we’d meet again. I’d like that. Then I walked home and since it was still early I stripped to shower. His musk totally clung to me, and his sperm was still inside me. I loved that. Smell means a lot to me and I do my best to keep in the cum, to absorb it. I just lay on my bed in my jock and relived the encounter. I repeated his moment of ejaculation over and over. How good it felt for both of us and what it means for a man to plant his seed. I imagined a man impregnating me somehow. I want more gay sex like this.

From Alan: It doesn’t seem like the sex is letting up, and you don’t seem to be getting tired of it or of being locked in. Go for it.
I don’t know how you keep up the energy, and I’m not much older than you. I’m also not being regularly wrung out by Andre.

From Caged: LOL. Mind over matter. And my productivity does take a little hit.

From Alan: I suspect you’d sacrifice some of your productivity for the rush. Hasn’t your husband noticed that you’re far more relaxed than usual?

From Caged: My BF has been away on business. He returns Tuesday morning. Not quite sure how to balance things.

From Alan: There’s a challenge to keep you busy through the holidays: not losing your partner while not giving away that you’re being steadily fucked. Hope know what you want.

From Caged: My BF is fine with me having a random fuck buddy. He’s said quite plainly, "Having a lover is a good thing." I just need to stay respectful. That said, my BF and I had sex twice since he’s returned and after 2 months of Andre, I’m pretty spoiled. My BF is clumsy and not as big or creative as Andre and his idea of a long session is half an hour, and his usual is 10 minutes. Really NOT satisfying even though he’s loving and of course I’m happy he’s back. So yeah, need to work out how to get my needs met in a balanced way.

From Alan: Fortunately, I’m not in the same kind of relationship as you are, sexually and maybe not emotionally. Having kids is another huge reminder to stay balanced. It’s a good thing your partner is open-minded, even if it also works in his favor.

From Caged: I’ve never asked if he sleeps around. Does that make me sound stupid?

From Alan: No, but it’s probably good that Andre’s not available full-time.
On paper, my wife doesn’t believe that marriage means complete fidelity, and I think I’d fine if she had occasional outside sex. I’m not as sure about an extended relationship.

From Caged: Thanks for keeping up. I’ve been super busy the last couple weeks with work, travel, and holiday events, so busy that the swell of unrelieved chastity has built up without much notice. Got to play with Andre again – what great skill and endurance. Still want to write a bit. Maybe will have more time in a week or two. Started looking at narrow cages. It’s one thing to fantasize that it will be a permanent lifestyle and another to have 6 months pass quite used to it.

From Alan: What’s a narrow cage? How does it differ from the one you’re currently using? For a man who virtually has no dick, you seem to enjoy sex extraordinarily.

From Caged: The tube section of my current cage is wider than it needs to be. Reducing it by a 3/8 of an inch would make a snugger more realistic fit. I’d keep the length the same to accommodate night time erections. A narrower tube would also be lighter weight and prevent me from sticking my pinky finger through the cage bars. And yeah going dickless has increased my enjoyment of sex tremendously. "...has no dick..." sounds so hot. I never liked ejaculating and as a bottom I don’t need an erection so why not dedicate myself fully to pleasing real men’s cocks, right?

From Alan: You are a real man. Only a real man would have the guts to metaphorically lop off his cock.

From Caged: Yeah, I was just getting into character there with "real men’s." Of course courage, patience, and such are adult traits.
Your comment got me thinking. From an anthropological perspective, a "real man" might be defined in terms of roles, activities, challenges, and behaviors in society and relationships. Some of these are more biologically driven and others are more culture specific. For example, ejaculating to sire children is an activity and acting as a father is a role. Given the variety of these, we can score someone (say, 0% to 100%) based on challenges overcome, and roles filled. Generally, teenage boys face the challenge of losing their virginity by sticking their penis into a vagina, and almost all succeed by their mid-20s, often much earlier. It’s a major life event. In contrast, I’ve tried and failed to penetrate and I "got my cherry popped" like a girl by another male. So I "failed" this challenge though of course I love fully embracing the role of a submissive bottom. Sexually, I don’t function as a typical male and apparently it’s deeply me and makes some other men very happy too!

From Alan: You keep giving me proof of how happy you’ve been making other guys and yourself, and that’s terrific. Keep doing that. Meanwhile, my wife and I are taking our daughters away for almost two weeks, so happy holidays.

From Caged: Happy holidays to you as well!

From Alan: How have you been? Still playing happily? How’s the chastity holding out?

From Caged: I’m mostly working; went from quiet holidays to lots of business in the new year... not much time for playing and definitely no writing. Still very happily caged

From Alan: Amazing. When was the last time your husband let your dick out?

From Caged: I’m aiming for 1 year, though frankly besides occasional inconvenience I can imagine permanent lockup. The new cage allows some breathing room but less than before. No need for erections. I cum about 1/month. Two interesting experiences: 1) Had my first wet-dream EVER. Yeah, I hear most guys have wet dreams especially as teens but I never did. Now I know what it’s like! And 2) After an hour of giving a friend a BJ, the moment he came and I tasted it, I also had a dry hands-free full-body orgasm (e.g. I didn’t ejaculate, just had full orgasm). Otherwise, very busy; pretty adapted to life caged, so I get work done. And winter limits outdoor exercise to get rid of excess frisky energy.

From Alan: Unexpected orgasms are fun, especially when they hit more than your dick. I’ve never managed hands free except in my sleep, and that’s probably been since I was a kid.. The lack of ability to have sex may keep your mind focused but as I’ve said, it makes me a bit nuts. Is your partner enjoying himself, carrying the key?

From Caged: Certainly I’m horny a lot. The abstinence (from ejaculating) is part of my meditative practices, a powerful aid to kundalini yoga, which I started in November on a regular basis. Not sure what my partner thinks of it all. He’s not interested in power or meditation and even if he’s quick in bed, he enjoys it. I keep hoping he has a break thru at some point.

From Alan: It must be hard: being in love with a man you don’t match up with in bed.

From Caged: Yeah, you’re a lucky guy.

From Alan: Takes a lot of communication.

From Caged: Hi! Really sorry. Was seriously busy and now in bed with flu. V-Day we cooked at home. For our anniversary we went out and my BF got me a really cute card

From Alan: Sorry about your flu. It’s going around and has hit a lot of students and staff but has fortunately missed me. I even found myself back in the classroom when we ran out of subs. Didn’t do any teaching. The kids found it too much of a joke that the principal was in their class. We mostly talked about news and sports.

From Caged: Worked half day yesterday and today. Afternoons spent napping. Sigh. Not hit as hard as my boyfriend now, but still unpleasant. This one creeps up on folks and stays for a couple weeks!
So last month I had my cage off for 10 days around V-Day and our anniversary. Not to stimulate me. Just as a break. And a chance to check on the effect of caging for so many months. For the first week, my penis remained tiny. I’m used to having it feel big with the metal cage and was shocked by how small it was. And it remained flaccid even with stimulation and I came with it flaccid. Finally, two nights in a row I woke up with a nighttime erection and after a week it returned to a more normal size, whatever that is. When I was younger, normal size was 6-1/4 inches. Before the cage it was usually 5-1/2 inches. Not sure it got to that. Once it looked like it was mostly back to normal, the cage went back on.

From Alan: Glad your dick got a break, but sorry the flu hit your husband, too. My wife felt dizzy one afternoon but shook it off with a good night’s sleep and a weekend taking it easy. Our daughters have been fine. They’re both athletes and do an hour of cardio every day. Germs wouldn’t know where to land.

From Caged: Apparently it can take up to three weeks and the cough lingers. I had very mild symptoms for a week, then it hit and mostly left me weak with that cough.
After so many months of peeing sitting down, I had to remind myself I could stand to pee. Sort of like visiting a foreign country where they drive on the other side of the road.

From Alan: You may as well enjoy pissing like a guy while you can. I’d never thought about that. Just figured you could.

From Caged: Nah, it dribbles. Now, I’m back to squatting.

From Alan: Any idea how long it will take your dick to shrink again?

From Caged: Love to know but that would be unproductive since I’d have to take the cage off to measure.

From Alan: You sound like an obsessed teenager. Hope your cough goes away and your dick sticks around.

From Caged: LOL.

From Alan: I don’t want you laughing at your dick now.

From Caged: I was laughing at the “obsessed teenager” part. I entirely agree: the point of the chastity cage is to remove awareness, not add to it. I wasn’t expecting much shrinkage since as I said my cage is wide and certainly not short. That’s in part why I was surprised. In the future, when I move to a shorter, narrower cage, the effects may be longer lasting.

From Alan: Some evil part of me is amused that you have an even tinier dick – mainly because you seem to enjoy the thought. I don’t particularly like big dicks, but I like them to be proportionate to the man. Yours no longer is. But you’ve got a good face, so what the hell.

From Caged: It’s been almost a year – 50 weeks – since I went into chastity. Still really loving my sex life as a submissive dickless bottom for several fine men. Thinking back, since age 12 when I first started thinking about sex, I’ve always imagined myself in a receiving role. Maybe I was born with the wrong equipment and my brain thinks I’m supposed to have a hole instead? I otherwise ID as a dude. Weird feeling. It’s just so satisfying when a man uses me and I totally forget I have a penis.
I’m sending you a little thing you might enjoy. It’s the only nonbusiness writing I’ve done for months. I gave it to Andre.
I wrote him:
Top 12 Thank You’s:
12. Kissing your feet, because you are a King
11. Smelling your musky pits, cos I’m a fag
10. Sucking your undies
9. Worshiping your amazing, perfect cock
8. Pleasuring your dick but only after I earn it, with my throat pussy as my only purpose.
7. Asking what I want even though you probably know better what I need, and slowly I learn.
6. Warming up my hole with your tongue, because you are sweet on me.
5. Patiently opening my tight hole; and later, I look in the mirror between my legs and admire your work and feel lucky.
4. Fucking me hard, cos it relaxes both of us.
3. When we fuck in synch, you let me back thrust and work my ass muscles.
2. Humorously poking my caged boy-clit, because I really actually forget it’s there; Why was I born with a tool I don’t need or know how to use? (Doesn’t matter!)
And the #1 thank you:
1. Ejaculating into me so hard that I feel each squirt from your pulsing cock; and I keep your seed.

From Alan: Good to know you’re still having fun, not that I suspected you suddenly wouldn’t. How’s your husband fitting in? I hope you have the best of both options.

From Caged: My BF is still not sexually awakened but I can’t imagine being without him.
Andre surprised me with a wonderful new toy: a prostate vibrator. Within a minute of use, I enjoyed waves of prostate orgasm. Really amazing feeling and so thoughtful of him.

From Alan: Haven’t you ever used one – or had someone use one on you? If can be great fun but also addictive. And you have Andre, plus your partner, among others...

From Caged: Yes I can see how it would be addictive. Andre can get me to this on his own – he’s skilled but not fast. My BF has only gotten me there once or twice over the years.
The sex was different this time with the orgasm at the beginning. I felt more sensually engaged afterward. Anyway, I can get a lot of the same thing from a good meditation now w/o sex so hopefully I will keep my head on straight and not long for the vibrator, LOL.

From Alan: That’s the problem: you can use the vibrator alone. You forget other people.

From Caged: I’m tempted to buy a vibrator but honestly the joy of sex for me is being with another man, playing around with him, being pleasantly surprised and trained. And getting his cum is the best part. A vibrator can’t do any of that.

From Alan: I thought Andre already gave you a vibrator. Did he bring it just to play? Probably a good choice, keeping it away from you.

From Caged: Nah, he’s fully in charge and I prefer it that way. He wanted to insert both the vibrator (which is slim) and his cock at the same time: we’ll need to work up to that. It’s amazing, whenever I think I want X, and he says Y instead, his turns out a much better choice. I’ve learned to trust his instincts and guidance.

From Alan: I’ve learned to trust your recountings of his instincts. You’re his toy.

From Caged: Hi! Again sorry for the lapse. Finishing up projects and breaking ground with some new ones. Feels good.
Still in chastity and waiting for the new smaller cage to arrive. My BF’s present to me. It won’t be horridly small, just smaller.
Today is day 3 of a 6 week workout challenge. Taking 1/2 the recommended dosages of the usual workout supplements including a natural (and lab certified!) testosterone booster. Needless to say, that + chastity = challenging mix.
I haven’t been able to meet up with Andre much cos he just returned from 5 weeks away. He’s looking at a job in NYC. Hoping we’ll hook up this afternoon. Also, my other fuck buddy keeps having family stay over – don’t relatives understand that a single gay guy’s apartment isn’t "available." Poor guy has missed out on dates and sex. He and I did video sex yesterday. I used a dildo while he jerked off. LOL. I went another 45 min to satisfy myself.
It’s sort of amazing, that after an hour with a dildo, I’m much more relaxed than if I’d cum. The dildo is not the same as a pounding by Andre (or any good sized cock) but it does the job. I wonder if any male, or any gay male, can experience this or only really sub bottoms like me? BTW, Andre says fucking me is work (work he loves) but I can’t tell if he’s as relaxed as he makes me after our "workouts"?
Here’s a message I sent to him after we last fucked:
“Surprises:
You greeted me at the door with your hot naked bod, and the excitement in my eyes was like an addict seeing crack. I wanted to grab you and worship you all over, right there, and you kept me wanting as you worked my holes your way.
How did you know I love sucking soft cock? It prolongs your pleasure. I’m there to serve. A proper bitch learns this and loves it. You jerked off just an hour ago?! I tried so hard to get you stiff and then SURPRISE, you got yourself back in my face, hard as a fucking rock in seconds, cos you’ve got a King cock. Hope you felt my joy as I took your rod down my pussy throat.
Fucking myself on your cock, you teasing my hole, repositioning me. And the prize: grabbing your hips and pulling you in all the way as you pumped your seed in me.
After, I was in a daze, weak in the knees, checking out your handiwork in the mirror. I gotta say, you know how to make a sweet ass masterpiece.”
What else. I’m feeling really frustrated by not getting regular sex. My boyfriend is sweet but his low interest is so dissatisfying. For years, I would just jerk off on my own and have sex just enough and certainly I didn’t understand what amazing sex is supposed to be like.
No relationship gives everything and I will not be disrespectful to him. I don’t want him sitting at home knowing I’m off somewhere getting fucked even though we’re both cool with it. Though sometimes I’m not sure where this is all going.
In late June I attended multiple retreats using native medicinal plants (read: ayahuasca). One of the visions (right word?) featured Andre, not as a lover but as a teacher. I saw more clearly how he operates. Very insightful. Got insights on my boyfriend and others too. In tandem with kundalini yoga, the result is very powerful, like literally hours of orgasm + learning at the same time. Have been keeping a journal and integrating some of the insights into my daily life / thought patterns.

From Alan: Good to be back in touch, Skip – I didn’t realize it had been almost a month. This is supposedly my slow season, but that isn’t happening. Too many good teachers retiring, and I’ve been in constant interviews. I’ve barely been online. Good thing I’m happily married.
Balancing that, and love, and sex are tricky, but you seem deft about it. As long as you keep your husband from being hurt, and the guys continue to enjoy seeing you, especially Andre.
The most interesting thing you said about him was the insight you got about him as a teacher. Of course, that would interest me. Also how, without the retreats, plants, and yoga, he made you realize what good sex could be like. I didn’t realize the sex had continued to slow with your husband. I thought it was tame but comfortable. Has he participated in your retreats, plants, and yoga? Have you even tried taking a vibrator to him? Early on, my wife did that to me, and it changed my world. It might be interesting for your husband to have that kind of continuous, intense orgasm, if only to let him know that’s possible. Of course, it might turn him into a bottom, and then where would you be?
Anyway, enjoy yourself. Keep yourself and all the other guys happy, and you’ll be fine. I know you’re about to head into summer teaching, so catch up when you can.

From Caged: Will do.