The Reluctant Master - 19. Chapter 19

Dad’s Boy

From Dad’s boy: i’ve been in a live-in Daddy/boy/Master/slave relationship which lasted 9 years. i am now looking for someone new to permanently own me, but play buddies and friends are always welcome. i’m 28, 6'-2", 195, cropped brown hair, trimmed beard & blue eyes. i am hiv+ but healthy with a t-count over 1,000 and an undetectable viral load.

From Alan: With your height and experience, it might be time to take control. Give yourself a chance.

From Dad’s boy: i’m sorry Sir if my pics make me look like a Dom. i am definitely a sub Sir.

From Alan: I understood that, but you might be breaking guys’ hearts. They take one look at your photos, and they’ll want you in charge. So you might give them an opportunity. You certainly know the routine.

From Dad’s boy: i have thought over the past couple of years Sir that it could be fun to use some skills i’ve developed to work a boy over. however, i still am a masochistic who loves a good beating and fucking. what would You suggest? also, i am blushing at Your compliments Sir.

From Alan: The blushing’s got to end. It’s sweet, but you’re at the age where guys don’t blush. The other thing you’ve got to realize is you’re not the inexperienced kid you were when you first started submitting to another man. Maybe you still get off on the masochism because you’re used to it. And you possibly like humiliation for reasons that are best kept to yourself. But knowing what it’s like to be under another man’s control might make you curious to discover what it’s like to give someone the pleasure others have been giving you. You might discover you hate it, but you’ve got the look of a guy who could be in charge, and not all men have that. Also, you don’t have to give up the masochism. You can be under one man’s control while another is under yours.

From Dad’s boy: i’ll work on the blushing Sir. i’ve been trained to be humble. and i guess why not try it out? i actually had a sub contact me today asking if i would mind having a session with him to help get him acquainted with his limits. i think i’ll say yes. too bad You’re so far away Sir. i really like the way You express Yourself and it would be interesting to let You get to know me.

From Alan: I’m only a few hours from you, but I’m not looking to own someone, so it would be unfair to approach you on that level. I’m also married, and I’ve mainly pulled back from being active. Plus, you should be playing with guys your age, though I know 16 years doesn’t seem like a big difference. But most guys your age have more strength and flexibility. And that sub who contacted you may be absolutely responding to your look. Sometimes, that sneaks up on you because you’ve never thought of yourself that way. So treat him as you’d like to be treated and as you have been. And maybe throw in some things you’ve always wanted but haven’t been given permission to ask for. Surprise the kid and maybe you’ll surprise yourself.
From Dad’s boy: thank You for all the advice and mentoring Sir. would You mind if i use You as a resource if i have questions about Doming in the future? i’ll try to get used to the fact that i look like i’m in charge but i never saw myself that way before.

From Alan: You’re welcome to ask me questions, but you seem like an intelligent, experienced man. I’ll bet you can get to answers faster than I can. Also, at least for the times when you choose to be in charge, start capitalizing those I’s.

From Dad’s boy: Thanks. I started off writing you with a little “i” and it’s a hard habit to break. More than anything it’s a comfort to know I have someone to go to even if I never need to ask questions. I’ve had an interesting day because of you.

From Alan: Glad I gave you something to think about, and I hope you gave the man who contacted you as interesting a time. And, yeah, it’s good to have made a connection with you. That’s sometimes difficult on this site and not really the point.

From Dad’s boy: Well since I sent you that message, things got weird. I was chatting with that sub and everything was going well and then I said I needed to get some sleep. Well I left my computer on after I went to bed and this morning I woke up to all these crazy messages from him. About how I lied and was probably hooking up with other guys after I fucked him over. I quickly sent him a message explaining the situation but now he blocked me. And I mean I understand. When I was new to the community I freaked out several times. This guy will probably never talk to me again and that’s ok, it’s his shit not mine. Still, it’s not the way I thought things were going. Also, since my husband just passed away in the last six months I’m trying to keep things low key for now. But he and I always planned for me to go back to school so I’ve started taking classes again. I have less than a year to go and because of that I’m only planning to play around maybe 1 night a week.

From Alan: This site is full of crazy people, and that’s what it seems this guy is. But there are also a lot of nice guys here, so you just need to be patient and find them. And I didn’t realize your partner died only six months ago. You didn’t mention that before. In any case, the first rule about change is "Do nothing quickly." So take your time. And if you want to tell me the name of the guy who wrote you, I won’t contact him on your behalf, but I would like to see if I know him.

From Dad’s boy: Thanks for the words of encouragement. Before I was married I was used to dealing with crazy so-called Doms. I guess I just got my first taste of it from the other side. Don’t worry about contacting the sub though I really appreciate the offer. I just felt bad that things got so out of control. And I didn’t want to mention how recently Dad died. I remember wanting to be vague about the time frame. Truth is that I am not finished grieving at all. I’m just looking to connect with other people. Maybe I should be more clear with guys that way.

From Alan: I think you’re doing just fine. From the beginning, you mentioned you were looking for a relationship to replace one that had recently ended. But you don’t need to be that specific about death. It scares people. And maybe a lot of grieving depends on whether your partner’s death was sudden, or if you were prepared for it. But taking things slowly is always a good idea. Also, I wouldn’t have contacted that man for you. I don’t get like to get involved in fiascos. But the Iowa group is really small. You see the same guys online, again and again. And I thought this guy might be one of the known crazies. Or very young.

From Dad’s boy: Sorry I misunderstood. His name is eagerfukker. Nice kid until he freaks out. I say kid, but he’s 40. And Dad had been sick for a while but the doctors all said he didn’t have an expiration date and could go on for ten or twenty years. So it was both a surprise and not entirely unexpected.

From Alan: It’s hard with extended illnesses. You don’t want to think that people are about to die, but you also know they’re not going to last as long as you and they would like, and you certainly don’t want to seem pitying. Still, it’s hard living absolutely for the moment, but I’m sure a lot of people have told you that. And you had 9 years together, and that’s 9 more than many people have in their entire lives. And once you’ve been successful in a relationship it’s easier to know how to do that again. So I’ll bet, you soon find yourself in another happy one. But not with eagerfukker. More about him later. I’m taking a break at work, and I need to get back to what people are paying me for.

From Dad’s boy: Thanks again for all you thoughts. And it turns out you know eagerfukker?

From Alan: Well, he’s only been on the site for a couple of months. You can tell that by his log-in. And I’ve never seen his name before and don’t recognize the names of any of the guys he’s linked to. But all of them are outside Iowa, so they may not be men he’s really met. Still, my feeling is he was attracted to your photo and probably responded to that without actually remembering what you’d written. A lot of guys on this site do that. Then the two of you exchanged notes and met and had sex, and only when you seemed to be online but weren’t responding did he begin to get frustrated. That’s when he thought you were jerking him around and blowing him off. It may be simply from his lack of experience. He may otherwise be a perfectly nice guy.

From Dad’s boy: Thanks for your kind words about Dad. I’m trying to move forward and everyone says it will get easier. Each day is a bit better and the bad spells come less often and last a shorter duration. And about eagerfukker. The funny thing is we talked about me being mostly a sub and he asked specifically if I would be willing to get him used to some experiences despite that. I told him I was looking to perhaps expand my horizons and he was happy with that. Not that it really matters. The point is he freaked and needed to find a reason to end contact. I’m not mad, I feel sorry for him actually. He is probably going through the process of reconciling his desires with his image of himself.

From Alan: It’s the bad spells you’ve got to watch out for. They sneak up and clobber you. But find some way to use them both to remember your dad and to not hurt yourself. And you’re right: eagerfukker is probably very inexperienced, and anyone might have scared him off. Someone ought to take him to a club, strip him down, and publicly fuck him. That would break the ice.

From Dad’s boy: LOL! That would break more than the ice. I like your solution for newbies and I’ll try to remember. And I’m sure he is thinking too much. He just needs some real experience right now. Thanks for the kind words again too. I am doing my best to ride out the bad days and take advantage of the good ones.

From Alan: Yeah, everyone needs experience. I started mine early and got to play in my late teens, at college. Some guys around me were even more conservative, but we were all supportive. That’s why I really don’t understand humiliation. As for eagerfukker, I’ve still never seen him online, but when I checked, it seemed he was getting plenty of attention from other guys. So I wouldn’t worry about him.

From Dad’s boy: I’m not really. Tho I wish things hadn’t ended that way.

From Alan: Now here’s a funny conversation I just had with your non-friend eagerfukker. He wrote me first. As I said, it’s a small group in Iowa, and he may be working his way through it. Also, he may be online during the day, and I’m mainly on late at night. I probably wouldn’t have responded with more than a “Thanks,” but I recognized his name. He really does sound like he has a short temper and no patience. The first note, which was his initial contact, says something about my height.

From eagerfukker: i love the fact you’re tall. i’ll bet you’re strict too. i can picture myself helpless at your feet.

I replied: Thanks. It’s fun being tall, but I used to play basketball, and I was never the tallest guy on the team. And you seem fairly popular here, so I suspect you have plenty of opportunities to play at men’s feet. Hope you’re having fun.

From eagerfukker: you can fuck me just because you’re from cedar rapids. i was born there but moved to des moines when i was 7 and stayed here for college. and what gives you the impression i’m very popular? i’d like to be a lot more than i am. well, call me and i’ll drive over and let you fuck me some night this week, as soon as you read this or whenever. 515 555 1212.

From me: Thank you for the offer. It might be fun, but I’m not doing much of that anymore. I’m kind of settled in and just looking at the pictures. Yours are sharp, by the way. And by "popular" I meant that a lot of guys seem to be hitting on you. That’s great. Gives you lots of choices. Also, do you mainly like to be fucked? The more versatile you are, the more guys you can meet.

From eagerfukker: give me a call, we’ll talk about it.

From me: Calling is hard. As you may have noticed, I’m mainly online around midnight. I use the site to unwind before going to sleep.

From eagerfukker: i’ve given you my phone number and asked you to call me twice. the details were spelled out for you in my initial contact; i said you could fuck me just because you’re from cedar rapids. your comment regarding your preference for what you’re looking for is unclear. is it using my asshole, my mouth, or both in turn? you fall into the same category of so many men online, actually immature men-boys. they are not, in fact, capable of following through with anything that would involve a dick that would need to get hard. i call them flakes. so enjoy your fantasies instead of experiencing personal relations with someone. it’s safer and cocoonish that way.

From me: I honestly told you that I mainly look at pictures here to relax. And I mentioned how difficult it might be for me to call. What you don’t seem to be allowing for is that people often have very busy lives. They also might not live close to you or be adventuresome enough to suddenly drive for several hours. That’s all I was trying to say.

From eagerfukker: well, i’ll just say this - if you genuinely wanted to see me, it’s always possible for you to find the time. anybody can do anything if it’s important enough.

From me: You’re right – if it were important enough, I would find time to see you. But I have other priorities. And, believe me, my sexual life is not fantasy. But I have a busy personal life and career, and they take precedence over what I may otherwise want to do. And even for guys who have the time, it’s hard to instantly commit to inviting someone you don’t know into your house and letting him run loose on your body. Again, I hope you’re well and meeting guys with more flexible schedules. You certainly have a lot going for you.

After that, he didn’t write back. But listening to him is more fun than keeping a tiger away with a chair. And you may have gotten off easily. I suspect he’s already blocked me. He has that kind of personality. I don’t want to test it by sending another note.

From Dad’s boy: Thanks for sharing. My god, that was quite the exchange with a lot of the same lines he used on me. Glad to know it wasn’t my lack of "Dom-ness" that drove him crazy. Poor guy, he seems really miserable. And how dumb of him to make demands so quickly. He doesn’t know what he is missing. By the way I updated my photos to reflect things that I’ve talked about with you. I would be really interested in your opinion if you wouldn’t mind.

From Alan: I like the fact that you now have clothes on in half your photos, and you always show your face. I also like the way you’re now listing yourself as versatile. It makes you seem more mature. And you’re a good-looking man. Those early photos didn’t show that and didn’t show off your height.

From Dad’s boy: I feel better showing my face clearly. Before I was trying to show I was an invisible sub. And I sometimes hide my height because it scares off shorter guys. Tho Dad was only 5'8"

From Alan: I hope the new photos attract better men and help you avoid guys as impatient as eagerfukker.

From Dad’s boy: Me too tho right now I’m too busy with classes to have time for fun. I forgot how much work college can be.

From Alan: And you’re in your final year, when it’s toughest. Are you working full-time, too?

From Dad’s boy: Part-time, Dad took pretty good care of our finances. But the money won’t last forever.

From Alan: Great. And, here’s the latest, and probably final, correspondence from eagerfukker. It turned up last night, and it’s practically as we predicted.

From eagerfukker: i’ll remain skeptical until i “see it to believe it.” call or fuck off.

And I wrote: As long as you’re enjoying yourself while remaining skeptical, the time will pass quickly. And I’ll try to call tomorrow.

He didn’t respond, but just to see what would happen, I called him this afternoon. This is from me, immediately afterward: I just called you, and it seems your phone is blocked when my security settings are on. Like probably everyone’s, they always are. So it appears we’re at something of an impasse.

From eagerfukker: where we are is at my discovery of what a stinking turd you are. i do not wish to have any further contact with you. do not respond to this or i will report you as someone who is harassing me. security settings, indeed - you are a fucking loser.

Finally, again from me: I’m mainly writing to see if you’ve blocked me here, too. Fortunately, you haven’t, so I can try, politely, to say “good-bye.” I’m really sorry we can’t easily connect. I honestly tried to reach you, but now it seems you don’t want any contact. I’m really sorry about that, but I’ll leave you alone.

From Dadsboy: It’s really too bad his phone is blocked. I keep my security settings on too or I get all kinds of dumb calls. And I would have called him but he never gave me his number. We wrote and then we met and I was enjoying that. Tho he probably would have hated what I wanted to suggest next. That was sleeping overnight naked and locked in a special room in my basement. It’s 4 by 4 by 4 and Dad built it for me as a birthday present. I never planned to share it and I’m glad I didn’t because that might have ruined it for me. I don’t think eagerfukker could have lasted overnight anyway. He doesn’t really have the balls to be a boy. Tho talking about this is getting me very interested to try and find someone who does. I think I’d like that and it would make Dad proud.

From Alan: After that, the next step is even harder – the old cliche about letting someone you love free.

From Dad’s boy: You can be free and naked in my special room. I never felt so happy as when I was there in the dark.

From Alan: You may be a special man.

From Dad’s boy: Maybe it’s because you’ve never been in there.

From Alan: Maybe. Though I doubt I’d ever want to be.

From Dad’s boy: Too bad because you’re someone I’d trust.

From Alan: Thanks. I know that’s an honor. But I’d go crazy after a hour.

From Dad’s boy: An hour is only the start and you can’t tell when time is passing. It’s warm inside. It’s soft. You have your food and water and a place to pee and go. And you know it’s going to be the weekend, 2 1/2 days, and that’s why it’s fun. Dad crawled in there once with me at the beginning, the day it was new. There was no space for either of us to move but it was wonderful. I sometimes go in there now to talk with him. So I’m glad I didn’t ruin it.

From Alan: Then keep it for fun.

From Dad’s boy: I will but first I have to finish my classes. Then my last semester.

From Alan: What are you studying, by the way? I never asked.

From Dad’s boy: Medicine, pre-med. I want to be a physician’s assistant like Dad.

From Alan: I’m sure you’ll do fine.