The Reluctant Master - 24. Chapter 24

Ted

From Ted: I’m looking for an in-shape guy who’s masculine and wants to get down and dirty. Also looking to meet and repeat.

From Alan: How dirty can you be in a tub like that? Though I like what looks like a locomotive on the wall above your head.

From Ted: I can get as dirty as you want, in or outside a tub. The pictures are of me in a friend’s bathroom, so the locomotive’s not mine.

From Alan: As long as the pictures are of you. Though I can’t see much through that black leather mask.

From Ted: Either could I. My friend stripped me, yanked the hood over my head, zipped it tight, guided me to the bathtub, then cuffed my hands and feet.

From Alan: As long as he didn’t turn on the tap.

From Ted: Nah, he wouldn’t ruin the hood.

From Alan: Did you have fun?

From Ted: With him? Always! But I don’t need a tub or a hood to have nasty wet fun. I just need a MAN!

From Alan: I can’t imagine you having trouble finding guys with your body.

From Ted: Aren’t you nice? But the truth is I get very little, if any, interest, unless it’s from someone MUCH older and usually huge. There’s a distinct lack of tops here. It’s about 95% bottoms. And with many of the bottoms being much younger hotter guys, I don’t have much of a chance.

From Alan: You’re 47. Not exactly dead.

From Ted: Sometimes I think I am.

From Alan: I’m always amazed when guys put age limits on sex. I wonder if it’s better in other places.

From Ted: I travel a lot, for business and pleasure. And the US is strange. I have better luck getting fucked in Paris or London.

From Alan: The whole US?

From Ted: Oddly, I have better luck in small towns, where the pool of guys is tiny. Men take what they can get. Wealthier cities are unique. Maturity has zero value unless you have money and can afford to "purchase" youth. Just about any city in Europe is better. The guys aren’t sexually repressed and issues like age or top/bottom simply aren’t the same. When I was in my 20s, I could go to any number of local parks, bookstores, bathrooms, or bars and find hot sex. All those things are gone for me today. It’s different and not better.

From Alan: I had no idea. I thought the advantage of living in larger cities was you could meet more interesting guys. You just had to worry about disease. What happens in the Quad Cities when guys hit their 40s? Do they never have sex again?

From Ted: Pretty much. And I could never go back to a place like Cedar Rapids. I moved to Des Moines for a while, which everyone said was happening, but it’s still half the size of here.

From Alan: Have you tried Chicago?

From Ted: Way too big. And the guys blow as cold as the weather.

From Alan: I never cared what guys’ ages were as long as they were honest. Though I couldn’t have sex with anyone under 25 again. It would feel wrong. I know kids these days have a lot of experience. And one of the best times I had was with a guy in his 60s when I was in my early 20s. But you’d think guys who live in places like Chicago would be more sophisticated than men like me who’ve spent most of their lives in Iowa.

From Ted: For me, the magic age of no sex is 40. Though if you’re a top, you can keep having it later – maybe as long as your body holds out. That means most guys my age sit at home behind their computers. And with so many drugs around, many just stay home ‘cause it’s easier. It’s natural selection.

From Alan: So the obvious question is why not become a top? You’ve certainly got the body for it.

From Ted: Maybe. But I’m not hot without the hood. That’s why my friend puts it on.

From Alan: Oh, come on.

From Ted: Judge for yourself. Here I am, unmasked.

From Alan: You’re a good-looking man.

From Ted: For 47.

From Alan: You’re a good-looking man.

From Ted: You really are kind.

From Alan: Here’s my photo.

From Ted: Now you’re hot.

From Alan: Who’s being kind now? And I look fairly tame in that photo – you don’t get my bark. And that picture’s 6-years-old, and I don’t use it from vanity. I look a bit different now – my hair’s darker, and I tend to wear my glasses. So the blond guy’s my secret identity. I always worry about being recognized.

From Ted: Are you well known in Cedar Rapids? You look like you could be an anchor man.

From Alan: Just a teacher. One who’d like to keep working.

From Ted: They won’t fire you for sucking cock.

From Alan: But I used to coach. And they’d never let me near a locker room again.

From Ted: If you coached, that means you must be an athlete. Which means you probably still go to the gym.

From Alan: I do. Though without my contacts or glasses, I can’t see much.

From Ted: Too bad. Some of my favorite guys are straight men at the gym. And to answer your question – from time to time, I top. It all depends how desperate I get. I’m happy to fuck hole, but I can’t get other guys to reciprocate.

From Alan: Well, you’re something of a masochist, right? Can’t you pretend that some master is forcing you to be a top? If you think of it as punishment, you can get a crack at all those hot bottoms.

From Ted: I’m not a masochist, per se. I like rough sex, like when a guy ties me in uncomfortable positions or tweaks my nips. But I don’t crave pain. Sex, for me, is more an intense mental connection, the more perverted the better.

From Alan: I’m glad you’re not hardcore. I’ve been with a couple of those guys, and they scare me. "Hurt me! Hurt me more!" And I’m like, "Out of here."

From Ted: Guys also expect a big cock when you’re a top, and I’m only average.

From Alan: Dicks are like a guy’s age for me. I never really think about them unless they’re extreme. And I’ve never thought about not getting sex, because it’s always been there for me. If anything, I’m trying to cut back.

From Ted: You may be the only man in the world.

From Alan: Nah, you keep reading about sexless marriages.

From Ted: But that’s because people have only one partner. I’ve never wanted that. It sounds romantic, but I couldn’t spend the rest of my life having sex with only one guy. And he’d have to understand that from the beginning.

From Alan: I’d be more worried about getting older without anyone to share my life. Especially emotional and financial things.

From Ted: I think about that all the time. First, sex, then the future. Leave out those things, and all that’s left is food.

From Alan: You like to eat?

From Ted: It’s the other reason I go to the gym. If I stop, I’ll be one of those HUGE guys.

From Alan: I’ve always been lucky that way. Food’s not a great attraction.

From Ted: What do you replace it with?

From Alan: Being too busy.

From Ted: And I’m too often bored. I went to our local sex club last night, for its 3rd Wednesday piss night. I ended up having fun because I sucked this guy with a huge cock. He almost came a couple of times, then took me to a booth, bent me over, and drilled my ass with just spit. Then he shot a huge load. Most often, no one shoots loads. The few guys who are tops save it for hours. After I got fucked, I found another guy – a total bottom but fairly hot – and offered him my cock. He sucked me till I came and was very appreciative. He’d been sucking for 2 hours and no one had given him a load yet. But this was an unusual night.

From Alan: Well, I’m glad to hear you got fucked and sucked. But that “saving their loads” cracks me up. I still masturbate once a day, and that’s separate from any sex I might have.

From Ted: You’re lucky your drive is so strong, and damn I wish you lived closer. In the club, there are always a dozen guys looking to suck for every one who’s offering. In the piss room, I’ve had guys grab a cock out of my mouth because piss is in such short supply.

From Alan: Why? All it takes is a couple of beers.

From Ted: Plus the interest. I don’t even jerk off sometimes because I don’t get hard for anything but the real thing. I can go weeks without sex because I’m not in the mood for an evening of mouth shopping. And a multiple cummer is a rarity!

From Alan: It sounds like you’re hanging out with guys much older than you are – or who act much older than their ages. I can’t remember when I couldn’t shoot at least twice a day – since I was maybe in sixth grade. And I’m usually good again after an hour.

From Ted: You’re right about acting older. I think there’s a kind of psychosis that takes over. The stress of daily living – and antidepressant drugs, HIV meds, and fatigue all take their toll. Many guys are very focused on their cocks, to the exclusion of more social activities. Maybe it’s a reaction to the anti-sex message and the current scare tactics used by AIDS organizations and the government. But that gets back to the 95% bottoms. Why the disparity? Is it a natural result of coming out of the closet? Six weeks after a boy does that, he seems to go from being a top – getting sucked and doing the fucking – to a total bottom who just craves cock and wants that cum inside his body. Is this a backlash to releasing some internalized homophobia? I don’t know, but it’s my daily reality. Or maybe it’s the crystal meth talking. You can’t get hard and cum on meth. And meth is pretty pervasive with gay men in the big cities all over the country.

From Alan: I’ve always stayed away from drugs. Always. And all this writing was getting me hard, which is why I slipped away for 10 minutes.

From Ted: Oh, that I was closer!

From Alan: I thought about you. At least, I started to. Then I thought about a guy I’d met at a conference, years ago. He didn’t have your smile and didn’t look anything like you. Late 30s. Kinda dark blond. Didn’t work out, but jogged. Face a little beat up from too much early drinking, but what the hell.

From Ted: You see him more than once?

From Alan: Nah, he was some kind of salesman – textbooks, I think. Not part of the usual crowd.

From Ted: Sounds hot enough to me! And the guy’s still making you cum after all those years.

From Alan: You shared it.

From Ted: See, there’s that generosity we don’t have. Instead, we get dick grabbing. And coming multiple times without caring? I wish!

From Alan: You could do it if you tried.

From Ted: I don’t think so!

From Alan: Have you ever practiced?

From Ted: I’m too much of a porn potato. Whip out the credit card. Watch other guys screw. Last Sunday evening, I got the rare call from a hot Latino guy who’s a multiple cummer and a very aggressive top. Unfortunately, I had to pass. I had the beginning of a cold and didn’t want to give it to him.

From Alan: That was generous.

From Ted: But it may be months before he calls again. I wish we could be more like Europe, where sex is no big deal. Anything goes. No inhibitions. No zoning codes or religious crusades against gay people. I can’t wait to be in London again!

From Alan: Sorry you missed the Latino guy. But do you have to wait for him to call? Can’t you pick up the phone?

From Ted: Pushy bottoms get nowhere. A top like this has a list of bottoms all over the state. He calls whenever he travels. Since I missed him this time, I may never get a call back.

From Alan: You certainly deserve more than hoping to get lucky. How soon are you going to London?

From Ted: The end of the month.

From Alan: Bet you’re already packed.

From Ted: No, I don’t want to peak too soon. I’ve got several weekends to pace myself through, though I have zero plans for them. Just hanging around, updating my trip. I might fly from Paris to Frankfurt for the International Motor Show. That should be fun.

From Alan: Well, who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone and stay in Europe.

From Ted: It’s the nature of the beast. All the good guys are too far away.

From Alan: Then fight nature. Make your own luck.

From Ted: It’s nothing to do with luck and everything to do with working out. And keeping my shirt off in all the right places.

From Alan: I’m sure you’ll meet some great guys. You’ve said sex is freer there.

From Ted: Absolutely! Ah, Germany!